My Boyfriend Got Tumblr (I Convinced Him!!)
my boyfriend got tumblr (I convinced him!!)
anyway here’s his analysis of whatever from the first May 3rd entry of Dracula daily. (don’t let him fool you - he did actual research for this - he doesn’t know this all of the top of his head)
Bram Stoker Doesn't Understand Maps
Good Morning degenerates, My girlfriend has finally got me to use tumblr because I need an avenue to vent my rage and frustration. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Dracula Daily was off to a great start. I was sending wholesome messages to my lovely partner until all of a sudden. I was filled with rage. Despite being set in the 1890s. As a contemporary text set when it was written, and being in the wake of the great Hungarian Revolution of 1849. There are too many geographical issues and I can only come to a single conclusion.
Bram Stoker doesn't understand maps.
Let's start with what killed me first. His claim that by claiming that crossing the Danube into Budapest "Took us among the traditions of Turkish rule"
But my friends. HUNGARY WAS (almost) NEVER RULED BY THE TURKS. The Ottomans got close, they owned most of the Balkans until big daddy Russia beat their asses in the Crimean and Russo-Turkish war. But even at their territorial peak they hadn't crossed the Carpathian Mountains into Hungary since 1699.
And even then, they'd only controlled Hungary since 1541. Nowhere near enough time to describe Hungarian architecture as "among the traditions of Turkish rule", it's fucking blasphemous.
It's like saying the Welsh bear "the traditions of Viking rule" just because they controlled parts of England.
And don't even get me started on this nonsense Transylvanian nationalism. The Hapsburgs had annexed that territory since 1683 and Transylvanian princes were quickly replaced with Habsburg imperial governors as the Roman Catholic Church was weaponized against the traditionally Protestant lands.
Now don't get me wrong. Austria Hungary was notoriously decentralized, and despite this what I've said above. Transylvania had some level of freedom, I could almost understand Bram if his writings were set 50 years earlier, or perhaps partway through the Hungarian revolution. But unfortunately for history, it was completely and unequivocally crushed by the Russian and Austrian forces. And following the Austro-Hungarian Compromise of 1867 any special status Transylvania once had, had ended. It became a province under the Hungarian diet and referring to it as though it was an independent nation is laughable.
Or is it? You see, just like sex and gender. A nation and a state are two different things. You see, a state is defined by its ability to have sovereignty, (control) over the going on within its defined borders. Whereas a nation is basically a group of people with a common language, history, and culture. And just like sex and gender, despite the fact that most countries (after ww2 at least but that's a different tangent) are nation-states, there are many nations without states (like the Kurds or the Palestinians). We're not lucky enough to have states without nations just yet but I'm holding out hope.
Perhaps Signor Stoker was simply referring to this concept of nationality instead. IS WHAT I WOULD SAY IF I WAS AN IDIOT. YOU SEE "In the population of Transylvania there are four distinct nationalities: Saxons in the South, and mixed with them the Wallachs, who are the descendants of the Dacians; Magyars in the West, and Szekelys in the East and North"
This quote proves that this foppish fool of a man is clearly not viewing Transylvania as a nation in the sociological sense either.
BUT IT GETS WORSE. FOR BRAMOTHY STOKERSON SAYS TRANSYLVANIA BORDERS "Moldavia and Bukovina". BUT MOLDAVIA HASN'T EXISTED SINCE 1877, WHEN IT AND WALLACHIA UNIFIED INTO ROMANIA. AND BUKOVINA (as part of the Austro-Hungarian empire) HAD ITS SOVEREIGNTY DESTROYED AT THE SAME TIME THE TRANSYLVANIANS DID.
In conclusion. Big Boss Bram has never read a map in his life.
More Posts from Everything-bagel-blog and Others
MAMA'S BOY BRUCE
You're right! HE IS JUST A KID (he's 24)
ALSO - he got his mum flowers! IT'S SO SWEET!
Y’all my tumblr interaction pleading work - anyway if my story goes get featured on too many spirits - I swear I will make an entire new page/whatever on tumblr here for all my ghost and paranormal stories.
I’m manifesting!
okay no so apparently the church is just - like that. Yeah there’s fire hazards everywhere. There’s PowerPoint transitions. And you bet they’re not putting the words to the prayers they expect everyone to say into the little booklet they give you.
another benefit (?) to not being fully religious is my younger sister revealed that she had thought the whole ‘Jesus coming back to life’ was a metaphor this whole time.
What I love about Jason Todd is that he's angry about his trauma. Life fucked him over and he's rightfully pissed off. We already have "healed from their anger" Dick Grayson and "ignores their emotions" Bruce Wayne. Thank you DC for giving us "hurt and upset and lashing out" Jason Todd.
How to make soup
This is not a recipe. Soup requires no recipe. Soup is soup. All you must remember is that food is love and food is for sharing. Now onto the recipe.
Whenever you prepare soup, you must tend to it. Unwatched stoves are the most common cause of housefires. What? Did you expect me to speak of the loneliness of unattended soup? I need not speak of unattended soup. You know what happens when you leave soup unattended. You will not like what happens when you leave soup unattended.
That's right - possibly a housefire.
Start with liquid - stock or water will do. If you are adding cream to the soup, do not add it yet, it does not do well with extended boiling. Next, find your meat, if you consume it. The bones are the best, and a chicken carcass is my favourite to start with, although lamb will always work wonderfully after hours of boiling and skimming off fat repeatedly. Here, you must extract all the flavour from the bones and leave them hollow like an old tree where you might find fairies - or a possum - there is no difference really. The meat should fall of the bones and swim in the water. Now, you add the chopped-up root vegetables. Carrots, potatoes, swede - whatever takes long to cook. Do not forget your grains - barley and rice are delicious additions to any soup, soaked for hours to absorb flavour. Heat this on a low heat with the lid on for a long time; it will not overflow. Turn off the heat and go to bed now. The soup and you both need rest. Continue to heat it the next morning. Add whatever else you wish (now or earlier even) - salt, pepper, leak, onion, garlic, basil, sage, thyme - it matters not to the hungry soup.
Serve the soup and share the soup. A soup ladle is designed to cradle the soup like you should cradle the ones you share the soup with. Gently.
Some may try to tell you that the soup is bland. That it has no substance and is not a meal worth treasuring or even cooking. Pay this no mind. There are many places, many times, many families, where not much was to be had. Tough meat and tougher vegetables were made soft and spread further with the love and time taken to craft them into soup. Whatever you have, it has always been worth taking pride in the dinner you serve. To sleep with quietened bellies is to sleep full of love.
To eat soup is to find comfort in whatever you have in the pantry or fridge or garden. To share soup is to find comfort in those around you.
HELP MY DAD WAS COOKING PORK AND IN THE QUEST FOR CRACKLING THERE WAS MORE SMOKE THAN A FOGGY MARSH IN A WINTER MORN
having friends doing arts degree is crazy when you’re doing science;
they’re over here drawing little characters and I’m trying to do maths to not fail my lab exam tomorrow
my like primary school art teacher - like we were literal kids - was known to rip up art she didn’t like it front of whoever made it. I was victim to this a few times and it destroyed any growing interest in art I had lol
This is lovely advice.
jason todd being a crier is important to me somewhere fundamental right up between my heart and my lungs.
Star Trek TOS is that wretched mint plant that refuses to die but refuses to grow enough leaves for you to use them.
Star Trek the original series - my beloved and beloathed
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Ebb: The movement of the tide out to sea (the best time to explore tide pools)
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