Genuinely One Of My Fav Fics Rn 🫶

genuinely one of my fav fics rn 🫶

The Soldier's Keeper ★ 14

Pairing: Winter Soldier!Bucky x Doctor!Reader

Word Count: 1.4k

Summary: In the calm of your new days of peace, you spend what time you can with Bucky, who's guarded as ever.

Warnings: Home sickness. Mention of injections.

Authors Note: Getting into post-traumatic domesticity. Please enjoy, comment, and be kind. ALSO, if you want to be apart of the taglist, let me know :)

Series Masterlist

“The moon landing was fake?” Bucky frowned at you from his seat on the bed. 

“No-” you snickered at his naivety. “I said people theorize that it was fake.” 

In the past few days, you had taken to explaining important events throughout history to Bucky. You had begun to question how much about the world he actually knew about. He explained to you that when he wasn't in cryo sleep, he was only out for a few days at a time. 

For him, the past few decades have been like blinking in and out of history.

“There's actually been six moon landings.” You explained. “So even if the first one was fake, there's been plenty more to make up for it.”

Bucky tilted his head at you curiously. “Why do people think it was fake?”

“Well, there's a few different reasons. Some people think the shadows are off, and that it must be a staged set. In the footage of the first men walking on the moon, they stabbed the flagpole into the ground-” you explained, waving your hands about. Bucky tracked the movements with his eyes. “The flag moves slightly, like there's a breeze. But there's no air on the moon.”

“So why did it move?” He squinted at you.

“There was a second pole sewn into the top of the flag horizontally, to give it a cinematic look for the images. Or at least that's what they say.” You explained, smiling at the ridiculous theories. “Honestly I have no idea if it was real, anything could happen- something I’ve realized recently.” You picked at the edge of the bed sheet that laid on the floor.

“I never thought there would be people to actually walk in space.” He muttered, glancing out the window. 

“Neither did I- and I was born after it was already done.” you chuckled. He glanced back at you, his lip curled in a slight smile. You tried not to show your surprise at the reaction. “You’re so old,” you blurted.

He huffed out a shocked laugh, shaking his head slightly. “I know,” he muttered. 

“So, what was it like? Back in the day.” You pushed, trying to see if it would be too far. 

“What do you want to know?”

“What did the sky look like?” You asked, your eagerness at his openness not hidden very well. “Modern light pollution makes it hard to see the stars. There's places with less light, and the sky is said to be amazing there.”

He blinked at you, not expecting that to be your first question. He relaxed a little, his shoulders slumping. 

“It was…” He hadn’t thought about it in a while. He hadn’t let himself think of the small things, the peaceful strolls at night, or the music festivals, or the trips to the bars with Steve. “It was brighter, I guess.” He nodded to himself. “I guess I hadn’t thought about it much, but it was clearer. You could see the smaller stars a lot better. Like freckles.” He explained.

You grinned softly, nodding along. “I think that’s one thing I would have liked to see, back then. People always talk about being born in the wrong generation, but I think I was born at the perfect time.” You told him, still picking at the blankets threads. “But I would have liked to see the world back then, the sky, the nature. I bet the ice caps were huge then.”

“People want to live back then?” He tilted his head at you. 

“Yeah, it’s a personal opinion people have. A lot of people miss older traditions, or the state of society back then. The politics, the economy. Or even just for the clothes. It’s something a lot of people talk about.”

Bucky squinted, chewing on his bitten lip. “Mm,” he hummed in acknowledgment. You could almost see the cogs turning in his head. You realized then, that he probably felt the exact same, in his own way.

The past was his home, and more than anyone, he probably wanted to go back.

But he couldn’t. He could never go and see his childhood home, or his family. He couldn’t go visit the places he used to, even if he was free to do so.

It was all gone.

“Do you miss it?” You whispered the naive question.

“I wouldn’t belong there, even if I could go back.” He turned his gaze back to the window. To the stars. To the sky that was once so familiar. 

To the one thing that hadn’t changed.

★

Bucky sat with his hands in his lap, his gaze lingering on you as you moved around him. “I guess it slipped my mind, with everything going on, but I should have checked a lot sooner.” You mumbled, stepping out of the bathroom.

“When was the last time you had a dose of the serum?” You asked, standing before him now. 

“A few days before Washington.” He told you. You glanced down at the crook of his flesh arm. 

“Any side effects? Muscle spasms, headaches, shakiness?” you reached a hand out. “Can I?” Bucky nodded, tugging his shirt off in response.

“No, no side effects.” He told you, setting his shirt in his lap. 

You took his arm and began gently pressing your fingers to his pressure points, waiting to see if he had the appropriate reactions. You moved up his shoulder to his trapezius muscle. “Any tenderness?” you walked your fingers down, then prodded gently between his ribs.

He shook his head, his gaze glued to the side of your face as you worked. 

You’d noticed his staring problem a long time ago. It used to make you nervous- and god does it still. 

“Okay, hold your arm out to the side.” You waited for him to obey. “I’m going to push down, don’t let your arm fall, okay?” He nodded in response. 

You placed an arm on his forearm, and one on his bicep. You tried a slight push at first- he didn’t even budge. You then pushed down hard. Once again, he didn’t even shift. Out of sheer curiosity, you tried with all of your strength to shove his arm down. Bucky watched, amused, as you put all your weight on his arm. 

Your feet left the ground for a moment. His arm acted like a steel pole. 

“Jesus-” you huffed, letting go. “You’re actually- I mean, wow.”

His lips curled at the edges in a soft smile. “Can I lower my arm now?”

You nodded, setting your hands on your hips. “Did you have to try at all?”

He shook his head, setting his hands back on his thighs. “No.”

“Well- that's great then.” You nodded, trying not to flush at your outburst of curiosity. “I didn’t think you’d fail the test- but it's a necessary one.” You gestured. “Usually, if someone’s muscles are degenerating, or even just concerningly weak, they can’t stop their arms from falling under gentle pressure.” You explained. 

He nodded, tugging his shirt back over his head. “So, does this mean your serum worked?”

You nodded, sitting back on the mattress. “I think so, but I can’t be sure. It could still just be a temporary fix. It could be working as an annual vaccine type of thing, so the effects might wear off after a while.”

He nodded, his metal fingers fidgeting absently on his knee. 

“Or it could be permanent. I’d need to run your blood and do some scans to know for sure.”

“I can accept that.” 

“I can’t,” you huffed. “I wish I could take you to my lab- or a doctor here- just something.” You grumbled. 

His gaze flitted to the floor. 

“I’m sorry, Bucky.”

He straightened, his brows furrowing. “Don’t be.”

“I just-” you pulled your knees up to your chest. “I wanted this to mean something.” The solemn feeling hit you quickly, washing over you like a bucket of ice water. You were taken to help him, and if you couldn’t do that, then it was all for nothing. Your life was upended, stolen from you, for nothing.

“It’s not your fault.” He told you, his voice softening. “I don’t care if it didn’t work.” Your gaze flickered up to him. “If I get sick, then I get sick. That’s not on you.”

“It’s not fair.” You tell him.

He tilted his head at you, his expression softening bitterly. “Nothing is.”

A/N: Hope this doesn't bore you guys. More stuff and excitement to come!

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