For Zeus's Sake I Will Throw The Book At Them

Life goal: To write a fanfiction so good that everyone who joins the fandom newly is told that they simply HAVE to read this particular fanfic.

I can smell the 2000’s from this shirt

↖ this person’s life was completely destroyed by the gravity falls series finale

pass it on

In my history class, we were debating about breast feeding and all the boys were like “ew gross women should go in the bathroom or not do that in public” and I never talk in that class, but I felt compelled to input my opinion so I said “men think the display of a woman’s body is good until it’s no longer for their pleasure” and everyone just shut their mouths and looked at me. I’ve never seen so many boys open their mouth to defend themselves and have nothing come out in my life.

*when your otp is a victim of queerbaiting*

A Really Fucking Vulgar Guide to Not Losing Your Shit in College (Condensed Version)

Bitches love to put things into lists. Moreover, bitches love numbered shit. Here’s some numbered shit in list format to help you not suck in higher education. You’re welcome.

1. Go to class. Like 210% serious. I don’t give a shit if you’re a get by on nothing, A+ slacker. You’re fucking paying for this crap so you might as well get the services owed to you. Take your ass to class even if you zone out 99% of the time. You know 1% more than you did when you walked up in there. Congrats, asshole.

2. All that free time you have during your first week of classes? Make it your bitch. Don’t just print the goddamn syllabus and be like all done. No motherfucker. Take a good fucking look at that assignment list. What’s due next week? Yeah, do that shit now bc I know you don’t have anything else to do. Then when you’re coughing up a lung six weeks into the semester and don’t feel like getting your ass up to do that calculus homework, you’ll remember this week. You’ll remember that you’ve been a week ahead this whole damn semester. Pat yourself on the back, ass wipe.

3. Prepare yo self. No seriously. You got notes to print for class? Sure you could be like all those other bitches and just shove them into your backpack, or you could actually /prepare/ for class. I’m talking looking that shit over, identifying key concepts, getting a decent grasp of the material before your ass is even in class. You a STEM major? Yeah, make this kinda shit your life because now class is like one bomb ass group review session. Again, you’re welcome.

4. Snack like a motherfucker, but save that junk food shit for the weekends. From now on, you are a fucking health guru during the week or if you’re a slacker like me, at least on the days you have class. Fruits? Hell yeah. Pack some of those. Mind wandering in class? Snack on some apple slices. Can’t stay awake? Keep eating some almonds or some shit, but don’t be that bitch with the potato chips. Just don’t.

5. Read. Yeah, you heard me. Read and I’m not just talking assigned reading. I bet my left butt cheek that your campus library has /something/ of interest to you. Commuting and don’t want to drive out there? Library databases bro. We’re in the digital age, motherfucker. I’d bet my other butt cheek that the shit you want is in a nice little PDF somewhere. But na man, you thinking maybe you want to go into computer science? Check out computer science books and eat them up bro. You don’t like reading them? Probably not the field for you. You a biology major in your second year? Yeah dumbass. Time to break out the bio books and not the ones your professor is shoving in your face. Amaze your friends and teachers with your out of class knowledge. Be a fucking star.

Modern/Stylish/Teenage? Animated shows

An Experiment:

Please reblog if you think its okay to need time away from your family, or need moments where you don’t need to talk to anyone and just be alone.

My parents are insistent that I should not be spending as much time “avoiding” them as I do. I want to know if others feel the same way I do: That being alone or not wanting to spend every waking minute with people is normal.

Unspoken Undertale Rules

Papyrus has a high voice, while Sans is lower and sometimes scratchier

In a genocide run and in AUs, Sans and Papyrus will wear their brother’s signature article of clothing, the scarf or jacket respectively

Undone makes “fish noises” for any specific emotion (angry fish noises)

Mettaton is always showing off his legs

Papyrus overreacts to Sans’ jokes with google eyes or yelling

Gaster is somehow related to the skeleton bros, whether through a family or professional working relationship. He is also either incredibly sweet or a complete jerk

Flowey constantly insults Frisk, who responds with kindness

Frisk is either mute and speaks with sign language, or choses to speak only when they want to

If the eyes are open, it’s Chara. If the eyes are closed, it’s Frisk

Papyrus’ eyes glow orange

Undone always sets things on fire when she cooks

The Annoying Dog is Papyrus’ arch nemesis

Sans falls asleep whenever Papyrus picks him up

Undyne’s hair is always in a ponytail

AUs have either the ‘under’ or the ‘tale’ from Undertale in them (Underfell, Aftertale)

No one can understand Gaster except Sans

The Gaster Blasters are awesome weaponry as well as pets

Papyrus carries Sans under one arm like a football

Gaster wears a white turtleneck sweater with a black coat

Ashore does everything he can to get Toriel to forgive him

The dummy ghosts are cousins with Napstablook and Mettaton

"Cut it out!" Sanji cried trying not to stomp his foot. "Im big enough to prep the main course! Im not a little kid anymore!"

Zeff looked down at the scrawny nine year old spitfire.

"My hat is bigger than you eggplant," Zeff huffed. "Until youre taller than it, youll always be just a little brat in my eyes."

Sanji growled, but Zeff didnt miss the way he eyed the hat dubiously.

"Your hat is ridiculous!" He finally declared, stomping his way back to the corner to continue chopping vegtables.

If Zeff caught the brat measuring himself against the hat once or twice, he certainly didnt say anything.

And even if he heard Sanji muttering and complaining about it throughout the years, neither of them ever brought up how each time Sanji hit a growth spurt, so too did Zeffs chef hat.