House Md Is Awesome

House drugged that coffee btw

folk hero really

Sorry, my cat loafing on me is the reason why I'm late to work...

Me when I get back to the hotel at 2:00am in the morning from industrial dancing at the goth club all night...🦇☣️🧷

if house md were running in 2024 there would be an episode with a patient who identifies as an ‘online content creator’ (cagily) where house agrees to take the case primarily because when he offhandedly refers to her as an onlyfans model both cameron and cuddy get really offended and say it’s a sexist assumption so he doubles down and becomes committed to finding the patient’s onlyfans and proving it. at some point it would be revealed that chase actually is an onlyfans model and started doing it as a stopgap after his dad died and he suddenly got disinherited but he makes so much money off it that now medicine is basically just a hobby. cameron and foreman both disagree with the concept online sex work but it turns out they disagree for different reasons (cameron thinks it’s exploitative and not-feminist, foreman finds it distasteful and thinks people should get ‘real jobs’) and spend most of their scenes together arguing about this while chase gets continually more shifty. they break into the patient’s house and there’s a full ringlight and camera setup which seems to confirm house’s suspicions. while trying to find the patient’s onlyfans house accidentally finds chase’s onlyfans instead and considers publicly embarrassing him about it like he did with wilson’s sex tape but soon realises that most of the staff at the hospital are already subscribed to chase’s onlyfans so makes fun of him for that instead. it then transpires that the reason why the patient is so cagey about being a content creator is that she’s an ASMR artist and all the soap she’s been shaving on camera has irritated her lungs. cuddy is about to make house give her 20 extra hours of clinic duty as recompense but at last minute it’s revealed that the website the patient uses for some of her bonus commissions is, drumroll…onlyfans, because she’s been banned from patreon. how does house know this? wilson is subscribed to her because the soap videos sometimes soothe him to sleep. something by cigarettes after sex plays. roll end credits.

The best part is that I have a friend who is a registered RN who aspires to be this level of chaotic

truly nothing about house md prepares you for wilson. he's fucking insane. he's been divorced three times. he's the only person who can scheme just as well as house. he gives a patient his own liver bc he felt bad for him - a patient who didn't even know wilson's name. btw. he noticed a patient had depression bc he never mentioned his grandkids. he starred in a porno. he dosed house with antidepressants for several weeks. he allowed his boybestie and his gf to share custody of him and didn't even try to stop it. house told him to buy a piece of furniture that represented who he was, and he bought a $4000+ organ for house. he was gonna torpedo his career to talk abt euthanasia bc one of his patients suffered longer than he had to. he let house move into his 1 bed apartment bc his therapist thought it'd be a good idea. this man would do anything for anybody if they let him. he'd fucking quit his job to save a snail off the sidewalk. bro is not normal in the slightest

I'm actually glad that I have Single Sided Deafness (SSD) becuse the best part about being moderate to severely hearing impaired in my left ear is that when I'm trying to sleep and someone is being loud in the other room, I can just:

✨️Roll over✨️

This is only a joy that people with mono hearing get to experience, but maybe it's akin to how when some people, like my cousin "M" who was born deaf can just take out her hearing aids and be like "I'm having a no hearing day, Thank-you very much". 💅

But the funniest thing I ever heard was when someone told me. "It must be great to be half deaf, because you hear half the Bull-Shit in life! 🤣

Ok, but I saw this scrolling through Instagram reels, and it made me want to burst out in tears.

I used to live in a place like this. Kids at school used to make fun of me for smelling bad. Teachers used to complain that I didn't have good hygiene.

But I was terrified to have a shower in my own home because of how gross everything was. Not to mention being intruded on because no one in that house had any sense of healthy boundaries.

I didn't have any money to even afford deodorant, let alone pads or tampons, half the time, and my dryer at home was broken, so my clothes were always damp and moldy. How is it even possible for a child to possibly take care of themselves when they live in a place like that? and ultimately have no choice or say in the matter?

I left at 17, it's been 5 years now since I lived there. 3 years since I went completely no contact.

If there's any young people on my page who are seeing this and are in a similar situation. Just know that you are not alone 😔🩵

It's not your fault 🫂💔

And you don't deserve any of this, and just because "they are your parents" doesn't mean you own them anything.

Aw yes, this poor mofo walking into a cat fight between the witch and harvest moon goddess.

Bitch you fucking fought with the girl on the beach, turned her to stone and cast her off to a diffrent planet and then sent her sprites along with her.

And you are asking this random fucking farmer boy to help save her ass, girl get her back your fucking self, you are a god damn witch for christ sakes, use your power!