The Podcast Got Me

someone needs to take phoebe bridgers away from people that make edits to the last of us.

does anyone have some fic recs for dean and cas getting together bc gabriel is messing with them?

the ao3 tags are not doing what they're supposed to😭

strangers by ethel cain is so will graham coded.

you need to read this.

Okay this is gonna be long, but I’ve got a lot of ground to cover so please bear with me. In a real way, this is my series thesis.

I’ve said before, many times now (like a cycle) that for me the most important scene is ep 1 act 1 scene 1. There’s something There that I have been struggling to see clearly, struggling to articulate, and s2e9 really finally gave me the last pieces for it.

I think that Pit Girl is the point of the entire story. But not in the way that I thought going in. I feel like I’m rambling, so I’m going to try to structure my thoughts.

Imagine you’re a new viewer. You haven’t watched yj start to finish 30 times, you’ve never even buzzed before. You turn on the tv and the FIRST thing that happens is you see … brutality. A half dressed girl chased through the freezing woods, murdered without a chance. They drag her through the snow, string her up, pour her blood on the ground. Hack her into unrecognisable chunks. Sit around in scary outfits and rip at her, with a huge focus on the teeth, as horror music plays. Then, Misty takes off her mask, puts on her glasses, and does the worst possible thing. She smiles. Directly at you.

Again, forget everything you know and go on vibes. You’re seeing the teens pre-crash, and you’re seeing them in the third timeline, fully formed, with horror motifs and covered in fur. You’d be mistaken for thinking that you were seeing start and end. Except that… we know, and you know, that Pit Girl is the middle. These monsters somehow came back from this. How? When they’re so so so far gone?

Hence the show. I know I’m not breaking new ground here, but bear with me. I’m going somewhere.

(Edit: Readmore added because honestly, LONG post)

Weiterlesen

if they don't renew this show I will fucking sue.

so I read six of crows... my therapist will hear about this.

am I starting lockwood and co a second time immediatly after finishing it? yhea, what about it??

this poem (?) is about my relationship with my eating disorder through the years so TRIGGER WARNING! this is also the story on how I started recovery. have fun reading :)

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I only need your approval to live.

it's my food, it's my air.

I can never get enough, I guess if you starve yourself you get hungry for other things.

the number on the scale gets smaller and smaller while the hunger grows and grows.

I'm constantly running, chasing happieness, hoping I will find it in smaller clothes and sleepless nights.

Have you checked my thigh gap?

Maybe I will find it there.

Maybe I will never find it.

I know that if i keep searching for it I'll loose myself but what am I to absolution?

Do I even deserve it?

Am I pretty now?

Now that you can see my bones and the aching in my belly is all I can think about.

Is getting smaller the secret to becoming beautiful, becoming happy?

If so I'm prepared to become nothing if that means you will finally see me as enough.

why is your opinion so important to me?

you're just a tiny voice in my head, why should I listen to you?

Are you me? Am I you?

a part of me keeps fighting.

it defends me from your nasty insults, keeps telling me to just hold on, that i deserve to let you go.

But do I really?

You hurt so many people but you did it with my voice so the guilt is my burden to take.

You make me feel guilty about things that you did, say it's my fault that i told others about you and now they think the same way as I do.

Is it my fault?

I'm not sure.

you and me begann to blur, the tiny shimmer of hope that I will get rid of you dies and the need to listen to you, become you grows every day.

do I even want to keep fighting against you?

It's exhausting and going your way would be so much easier.

but then I think about the days when your voice is quiet, sometimes it wasn't even there and those memories show me that true happieness is only possible if you're gone.

so i keep fighting, keep talking against you.

I even got help.

Now i have people that listen to me, people who tell me that you're evil, that I should let you go.

but that's easier said than done.

you were my best friend, my compass in my darkest times but now i know that you were the reason the darkness kept growing.

I don't need you anymore and you're nothing without me.

Maybe you deserve to be nothing.

I am such a useless fucking lesbian I wanna kiss her so bad it makes me look stupid

“Don’t kill yourself you have to outlive the queen” is old. It’s tired. The queen is literally dead. “Don’t kill yourself you have to see annabeth take the knife that was meant for percy’s achilles heel in live action” is new. Fresh. It’ll take about 6 years.