This Is How Sonic 3 Is Gonna Open

Every goon in Gotham feels bad if they break Nightwing’s nose or knock out one of his teeth. It’s a thing. You fuck up the pretty bird’s face and he’s…fine with it? But it’s not fine. It feels wrong, for some reason. You don’t touch his face.

(Cut to Dick peeling off his domino mask in an alley asking Jason if it’s “broken” and his nose is halfway across one side of his face. Dick seems largely unbothered by this. Jason is seething with rage. Damian is already sprinting down the alley ready to exact revenge on the newbie goon who accidentally went high instead of low on a lucky hit. Dick asks Jason what’s wrong. His nose is so badly broken, there’s blood welling up in his tear ducts. Jason just stares at him, at a loss for words entirely)

i think it’d be very funny and also very angsty if in my Reverse Robins au, dick still kills the joker

like, it’s a year after jason was killed, and the joker kidnaps Rumor/Tim. Robin arrives, the joker convinces him Rumor is dead, and then he taunts Robin about Batboy/Jason’s death

atp bruce is gone, presumed dead (lost in time), jason died a year ago, and dick is still recovering from his parents deaths. he can’t handle losing anyone else. so he just… stops holding back. he does the quadruple flip, slamming into the joker at 80mph, and breaks the bastard’s neck. no one revives him. dick doesn’t regret it one bit.

and the joker is forever known for being defeated by a fucking 12 year old with anger issues

I think instead of lame excuses like "Cass is away in Honk Kong" or "[x bat] is doing stuff from his team of heroes" or just ignoring Steph's existance altogether, it would be funny if fanfics took members of the Batfam out of comission by having them have their own fanfic-related cliché adventure

Like, a Jason-centered fic where he asks Alfred where is the replacement and Alfred just goes "oh, Master Timothy has just been possesed by himself from thee-years into the future and is away trying to prevent our horrible deaths" and that's it, Tim is having his own time-travelling fix-it fic in the background which is why he's not mentioned

Babs on a Babs-centric fic where she could really use some advice asking Bruce on comms where her Batgirls are and Bruce non-chalantly answers "Steph has been hit by a love potion and Cass has offered to help her to her apartment", Babs waits a moment and comments "oh... do we get the 'congrats on kissing' banner ready for tomorrow?", "no, I think it's a slow burn, give them a week" and the rest of the fic happens without them

Dick, entering a room and finding Duke "hey, is Damian acting weird this morning or what?" "I think he said something about being stuck on a time-loop until he learns the true meaning of christmas" "aren't we on july?" "Yeah I thought so too but when I asked he mentioned he had already gotten my help on two loops so I just left him be" "well I needed help with a case, you in?" and the rest of the fic is a Dick and Duke team-up

I'm starting a Discowing defense squad.

Monster

"youd do numbers on tumblr" girl i am on tumblr and the numbers? 4

*Dick crashes out while on patrol and beats someone within an inch of their life*

Bruce: Dick might be a little bit fragile after last night, so let’s try to be sensitive.

Jason: Oh, believe me- I am going to be nothing but nice to Dick from now on. If he snaps and goes on a rampage, who do you think he’s coming for first?

Bruce: He’s not going on a rampage.

Tim: I bet he’d let me live. He likes me.

Damian: I’m just gonna say it. I never trusted him.

i can’t believe i fell for it

Reasons why the rest of the JL believes Batman and all of his children are metas/cryptids

-Weirdly good instincts

-They only see the bat and kids at night

-Hasn’t died

-If they have died, they came back within the year

-The JL has seen all of them at one point or another stay up for 96 hours straight and act semi-normally

-One time Batman was stabbed and started bleeding green(it was slime Bruce packed for kids to play with if they were at a crime scene)

-Red Robin didn’t cry while watching A Dogs Purpose for Young Justice’s movie night(he did, the mask hid his tears)

-They all know an absurd amount of Golf facts

-Somehow none of them age

-All of them are friends with a super

Wonder Women has the list and they update it after every mission.