This Is The Greatest Thing Ever

This is the greatest thing ever

trick or treat!!

(headcanons? for the coven maybe?)

(continuity- the fabled crack!fic)

Alice- the only morning person among a coven of night people. Really enjoys jogging, was very into death metal for a while as a rebellion against her mother, gets into making artisan beers and funky stained glass pieces after the Road. refused to let anyone help her magically move her mother's piano, which created a fairly amusing scene for the Proctors/John one Saturday afternoon as they attempted to get the thing in the house.

Lilia- the only motherfucker who can cook in this entire damn household (wanda is her most eagar apprentice). has considered hexing the kitchen to keep everyone else out. once did hex everyone involved when she walked in on unnamed individuals playing texas hold 'em with tarot cards from the 17th century. absolutely refuses to help agatha to short the stock market (again).

Jen- if she's going to be stuck with you people, you're at least not going to embarrass her; the coven wide skincare situation has never been more on point. brings billy with her to a couple of beauty/youtube cons, and he becomes a popular feature on her channel. does product testing on rio; the more rio enjoys it, the more toxic something is. senor scratchy oversees the process. sets up her lab upstairs in the former office "because not all of us lurk in basements like stereotypes, agatha."

Billy- living his absolute best life. frequently has the Kaplans over; he can't live with them anymore b/c of the insane amount of risk his physical person and the near constant presence of the scarlet witch and agatha thee harkness causes. he started a scoreboard in the living room, where he tallies up beings that come to the house looking to revenge/challenge- agatha's winning, but wanda's not far behind. everyone else is lumped into one category and losing badly. the kaplans are... adjusting. there is a lowkey conspiracy to teach rebecca witchcraft. he keeps eddie away for as long as possible, and then tries to introduce him to each of his new relatives one at a time. this does not go well.

Rio- is really only hanging out to see if she can drive wanda or agatha over the edge and into another killing spree. everything else is just her fucking around for her own amusement. does weird shit on purpose- eats raw meat and insects just to gross everyone else out. is not allowed unsupervised with the kaplans. built a complex terrarium set up for the tarantula, and frequently shape shifts to join him in there. the tarantula's name is typhon. the garden situation in the backyard has never been more lush and/or deadly. lilia and jen are never short on ingredients, but usually triple check to make sure what they're grabbing.

Wanda- has never been more understood in her entire life and is absolutely mystified. the first time she and jen get in an argument, and wanda accidentally breaks something- she freezes, expecting a wave of fear. jen just laughs and points, breaking a plate too with a swirl of rose gold sparkles. they spent the next ten minutes cheerfully breaking agatha's third best china until she busts them, and joins in too. no one particularly cares if wanda's too damaged, about how many people she's killed, if she can't control her powers, if she can't quite remember how to move like a human being. one way or another there's someone here who gets it- and that's the strangest part of all.

Agatha (all along)- unfortunately in charge here. couldn't give less of a shit about it. having to adjust to being around witches she's not actively trying to kill, while being her own weird ass self, not one of her personas. unclear what this strange feeling is in her chest (it's happiness- she's just never met it, so the sensation is alien). is the first to read whoever fucked up today into the ground. is also the first to kill anyone who looks at her coven sideways. experiencing the mortifying ordeal of being known and being very, very undignified about it. the rabbit continues to live like a tiny king. exploring other hobbies that aren't murder/plotting murder/scheming on how to plot a murder.

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Sort of bums me out that so many people didn't seem to Get the Cat King so here are my thoughts:

So let's start with Edwin's crime. He uses something the cat desires (a sardine) to lure the cat to him and then uses an enchanted string to trap the cat with magic. He demands the answer to a question in exchange for its release. Edwin knows it is dangerous to use magic on a cat, that it violates Rules but he does it anyway.

Binding a creature and agreeing to set them free under a certain condition is very Classic Fairytale. its also a favourite trope of Neil Gaiman's (he did not write this show but his influence is there). In both the Sandman and his novel Stardust (and the film adaptation) trapping a creature with magic and demanding a task/favour in exchange for their freedom is an extremely important plot point. Edwin binding a cat and demanding an answer in exchange is exactly in line with this Fairytale trope

And so is the Cat Kings response. The Cat King is a trickster. What he does to Edwin is exactly what Edwin did to one of his subjects. He entices Edwin, he binds him with magic and when Edwin demands to be free he turns his own words against him "why all the fuss for one little spell?" Edwin did something wrong. He imposed his will/magic on another creature and the Cat King is punishing him for it in a way that is poetic. Its fairytale. its trickster. its classic.

I've also seen people complain that the task Edwin was given 'count all the cats' is 'impossible'...except its fucking not. Edwin does it. He does it so well he actually BEATS the Cat King ("you didn't count yourself" Are.You.Kidding.Me. Classic!Fairytale!Vibes!)

The Cat Kings choice to bind Edwin to Port Townsend is good on so many levels. From a storytelling perspective it forces characters who can travel anywhere in the world to stay in one place, and increases the stakes for these characters who are supposed to be on the run. From a genre perspective...its an excellent use of fairytale tropes using both Rules of magic, a protagonist who is unkind to a seemingly weak creature who is punished by a more powerful law, a binding, a task to complete, etc

Which just leaves the character perspective which it ALSO does really fucking well and introduces the final aspect to the Cat Kings character. He's seductive. He is responsible for Edwin, 100 years old ghost boy, finally unpacking his internalized homophpbia. he is the catalyst (cat pun not intended)

He pushes Edwin, challenges him, at times literally forces the truth out of Edwin, but he really never does violate his consent. Significantly Edwin is attracted to him, like its an important part of his character that he is. He may not like the Cat King but he is attracted to him!

The Cat King is such a great example of a trickster, a morally grey character who imposes a sense of justice on Edwin after he crosses a line, but also has his own selfish interests and meddles. Hes so important to the plot of the show, to Edwin's character arc, to the genre.

And he's just fun. Unapologetically queer, powerful, complicated. Silly little outfits. Petty cat behavior. Deep heart.

Some of you just didn't get it. And I'm sorry for you. because the Cat King is Excellent actually.

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god this tickles me

(OP's tiktok here)

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(In which Derek is secretly pining, Stiles is oblivious to both Derek’s feelings as well as his own, and any personal growth that happens in the mean time is completely reluctant.)

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what do you mean elon musk did a nazi salute on live tv at the united states presidential inauguration twice and is now erasing the evidence off the internet by replacing the footage with the crowd cheering instead?

would be a shame if people reblogged this, wouldn’t it?

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Kaz: Dammit, Jesper! Jesper: What?! It wasn’t me! Kaz: Sorry, force of habit. Dammit, Nina! Nina: Not me either. Kaz: Oh...Then who set the house on fire? Matthias: *whistles*

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