I Fear Twitter Has Infected By Brain Bc My Only Thought Is 'that One Friend Who Is Too Woke'

Okay listen I adore batsibling content in fanon but each group gets a different type

Gossipy more like friends 80% of the time. will shit talk each other but if anyone says shit they’re getting decked. It’s fluffy but in the “you know I love you right?” Is said really awkwardly after the other sibling is surprised you’re on their side way Jay and Dick

Sweet and fluffy I don’t like angst in this at all give me a very healthy very wholesome soft relationship that’s just good all the way through Tim and Dick

So sweet it hurts tooth rotting fluff needs the same taste as cotton candy with the weight of a brick Dick and Damian

Bratty younger sibling and anger issues older sibling get into fist fight and are hugging 30 secs later. Will punch each other in the face and then defend the other one against their parents without blinking. Damian and Steph

Very very awkward affection like I love you and would die for you but we’ve had like 3 whole conversations. Damian and Jason (on Jason’s end Damian’s a lil shit)

You know when your little sibling is finally no longer insufferable and you can finally chill together at family events and you’re like. Fuck wait you’re growing up stop that’s illegal. Damian and Tim

“I broke your laptop”

“Yeah well I put nair in your shampoo”

“I should’ve killed you at the tower”

“Don’t be a lil bitch bc you couldn’t handle the gig”

Jason and Tim

Supportive big brother who brags about his sisters achievements while being a lil worried she’ll beat him and no one will ever need him again and baby sister who tries so hard and does so well and hopes she’s living up to their expectations (dick and cass)

I’m friends with your ex now and so sometimes I’ll bring it up to fuck with you bc I think it’s funny energy like Steph tells Cass about what Tim has done during their relationship and Cass who loves Tim but also women has to affectionately beat him up now (Tim and Cass)

Cass and Damian? I don’t think I’ve ever seen these too interact in a fic where Cass can speak actually…. Fuck we need more baby Assassins squared content in this fandom

Let us commiserate on the absolute cringe of everyone else here without acknowledging we are just as bad (dick and Steph)

Cass doesn’t like Jason and so I will leave them out

Remember these aren’t their canon relationships these are just what I like to read in fanon (inspired by their canon relationships in most cases but also fully canon with dick and Tim we ignore any authors who say otherwise my babies)

Okay but imagine for a second

You’re Bruce Wayne, Batman

The richest, smartest man in every room you have walked into since you turned 20

Every bit of information is at the tip of your fingertips money, brawn and brains are no object

And then you take in a child

Named Dick Grayson

From the circus, who has the most flimsy proof of his existence you’ve ever seen with a birth certificate that looks too worn to properly make out the parents named without knowing them before.

No passport despite traveling all over the globe

No form of identification

So you give the kid an ID and everything is fine

He becomes Robin

Joins a team

Becomes nightwing

Runs all the teams

Becomes Batman

Runs himself into the ground

And then Dicks in his 20s and he’s sick

Really sick

It’s not viral, fungal, parasitic or bacterial

No one else you know has this

And he’s getting sicker

He can’t walk without help and spends all his days wrapped up in blankets fighting off never ending shivers.

He mixes up his brothers names and sometimes outright forgets some of the kids

He didn’t recognize Kori a few weeks ago and hasn’t remembered her since

So Everytime he blearily asks “who are you again?” They All answer with the knowledge that this might be the him decaying blue eyes don’t spark with recognition

The first time it happened it was horror and tears “an Oh my god! I’m so sorry I love you you’re my brother” over time it’s devolved into an “oh right…hi Jason”

And the doctors ask for his family history

Maybe. Maybe there is something that could save him, bring him back or stop this descent… this fall from happening to the most untouchable man that’s ever lived.

(Tim threw up after he saw Dick burst into tears, head resting on Alfred’s shoulder when he realized he couldn’t walk without help- they need to stop this)

So they dig

And dig

And dig

And nothing

There’s no evidence of the Graysons before John, the Lloyd’s before Mary.

Neither had been to a doctor anytime in the states at least

Bruce had redone all of Dicks vaccines once he acquired guardianship of him.

There was nothing

Nothing on his aunts or the uncle that was his namesake

There’s just nothing

Bruce realizes he doesn’t even know Dicks ethnic background. 1000s of tests he’s ran and he doesn’t even know if Dick has ever been to his parents home countries

They do every test they can come up with to try and fake a comprehensive family history

Mary Grayson was a fake name

So way John

They don’t know the real ones

Bruce finds out the mother of his son is Syrian and Romani and the boys first father is Afghani and Italian.

He finds out Mary’s father fled from Syria during the 60s and settled in Germany

He finds out that John Grayson and his brother were orphans together

He can’t even tell you which one of them gave Dick his blood type.

He knows everything

He’s the smartest man in every room he’s ever walked into

And he won’t be able to save his son

Because the boy who holds Bruce Wayne’s very heart in his hands knows that the best way to stay in the shadows is simply to show so little everyone will fill in blank spots with jarring inaccuracies so seamlessly they won’t even notice they did it.

They’ve called everyone

And Dick just keeps getting sicker

A list of my fav Dick Grayson with eldest daughter syndrome fics

As an eldest daughter there’s something so refreshing about Dick working through his familial trauma as well as all his other problems so here are some of my fav fics I’ve compiled over the past like week LMAO

1. https://archiveofourown.org/works/43704451/chapters/109898020

- such such such a good fic, i loved the exploration of dick’s trauma at spyral

2. https://archiveofourown.org/collections/DickGraysonsuffers/works/40771257

- absolutely loved this one shot,,, dick is always doing his best to play mediator because he’s known bruce the longest and understands his motives the most but playing mediator and understanding both sides is an exhausting task so i love the fact the author explored that here

3. https://archiveofourown.org/works/44614405

- another really good oneshot. This one is less eldest daughter syndrome and moreso exploring dick’s trauma after the catalina incident but if clark showed up right after. i think what i enjoyed most abt this fic was the vulnerability and numbness after the incident,,, def resonated with it to a degree and i liked dick and jason’s interactions, they felt realistic.

4. https://archiveofourown.org/works/41451366

- omg omg this author. This author. Phenomenal. I heavily encourage yall to read more of their stuff if you like this oneshot because all of their stuff is good. But this fic specifically was just so so so so good. I felt dick’s emotions and stress in this one,,,when you force yourself to carry the weight of your entire family’s emotional wellbeing—including your own—onto yourself, it weighs on you. So much so that its not unrealistic to go nonverbal. I just resonated a lot with this story and found that dick’s stress was extremely well written. Def one of my favs

5. https://archiveofourown.org/works/36497065/chapters/99737508#workskin

- this one. This is the favorite. It’s kind of lengthy but it’s so so so worth it. The spiraling (pun unintended) of dick’s mental wellbeing is written beautifully. Not to mention the core of the entire fic is dick wanting to get himself help, something that i think is incredibly important when writing abt mental health. Outside influences can only do so much and i found it really beautiful when dick finally found it in himself to stay just that much longer to check on damian. Also speaking of, the dick and damian parent/child relationship in this is just so so so good it hurts. fell in love with their dynamic in this one, especially with dick’s obsession with not letting damian carry all the weight of dick’s stress on his shoulders. That is peak eldest daughter syndrome and it was written phenomenally. Pls read this

EDIT** ADDED SOME NEW ONES

6. https://archiveofourown.org/works/36329323/chapters/90570550?view_adult=true

- this author is SO GOOD. Pretty sure ive already put another one of their fics on this list but this one is def my favorite of theirs. Just so so good

Forever trapped in each others orbits but gravity keeps us away (DickRoy)

Immediately followed by

Dick Grayson x anyone remotely morally ambiguous (I see u tiger, JGJ, Kori, Helena, Joey I see you and I love you)

Jason Todd x completely normal civilians (bc it would be so funny)

Or

Jason Todd x women that can kill him (asphyxiation via thighs or actually will shoot him)

Put Tim in a throuple as long as Kon is there (Bernard or Bart is ur choice)

Damian must follow his fathers footsteps and date dangerous women I fear (or a Superman what who said that)

And Stephanie brown should date me actually so no one

This art is my proof that no one would canonically notice how bad dicks fashion choices are until Bruce puts discowing in the case bc he rocks every thing he wears

a request i got for older dick grayson in his og robin suit

Dick Grayson and Donna Troy should get platonically married plz ideal besties

Also plz fic recs for them

I find it funny where in both comics and fanfiction

No one gets right how much Dick Grayson should be eating?

(Warning to everyone from here on bc I get into calories and plz don’t read on if you have issues around weight/ food thank you!)

“Oh Dick lives on cereal”

“Oh Dick eats like a bird”

“Oh he forgets to eat”

“Oh he’s prone to restrictive eating”

GUYS HES a heavily athletic young male who spent his LIFE in sport is around 6’0 and is vaguely dorito shaped

Like his basal metabolic rate even without exercise is HORRIFICALLY HIGH like at the conservative estimate it would be around 3.6k (since hes already accustomed to a heavily active life he’d burn more even laying down than say a sedentary person)

And EVEN if you didn’t count running around the city all night/ his day life/ the fact he’s usually on his feat even as a civilian.

If you just took in the calisthenics required to THROW yourself off of a roof

Baby that’s 700calories an hour

So again LOW END 2.4K + 3.6k = brother is packing away 6k calories

Without all the running, working out, training, gymnastics

And hes running/jumping across a city so i would also put in the average 2.6k calories the average person burns running a marathon?

Are you seeing what I’m putting down?

Bro is EATING like a bodybuilding

And PACKING on carbs on carbs on carbs for energy

Like at the LOW end Dickie boy is eating 7k calories for maintenance.

Which is also why I am a huge fan of the cereal thing in moderation. Bc yeah guess what a quick release cheap carb that can be consumed quickly makes sense

But I also believe Dick is eating fuck you amounts of high calorie low volume foods like 1000 calorie smoothie 2-3 times a day

Like Dicks grocery bill must be OFFENSIVE

Like bro must be putting sticks off butter in his coffee instead of milk bc idek how he wouldn’t be struggling

Like he’s losing 3-6% of his body weight in movement alone

AND LETS NOT EVEN TALK ABOUT THE LIKE 6 LITERS OF WATER

Broke: Dick has no degrees and dropped out young

Woke: Dick has like 7 fully completed bachelors bc he keeps taking college courses to keep busy/ learn new skills as nightwing and ends up just having a fuck ton of credits. He simply doesn’t tell Bruce to make Bruce sad that none of his kids have graduated college.

Au where time travel shenanigans occur and a younger nightwing is shot from the past smack dab in the middle of the battle.

And (after the fight) takes everything… surprisingly well

I mean it’s nightwing

His whole thing is adaptablity

He’s sees Jason first and he’s a little teary but more so insanely elated that his little brother is okay and that he’s so happy they’re both still around to be spending time together. And Jason gets super choked up bc it’s sweet and happy but like he’s a tough guy they’re both crying super masculine tough guy tears.

He’s friendly if a little distant around the rest of the bats and birds but it’s all okay ya know. If he shoots Steph a weird look once in a while after she mentions that her and Cass have both been batgirl… well worse things have happened.

And then more shenanigans occur

And Dick has to interact with the wider league/ hero community

And bro sees

Donna Troy

Alive and well.

And he just loses it

Full on breaks down and clutches at her like she’s about to disappear. All that perfect grace and poise handling his and Bruce’s repaired relationship, his new role, the 50 new robins and bats, bludhavens destruction and rebuilding, the collapse of many of his very valuable relationships (romantic and platonic)

Gone

Because Donna is here and she’s okay and she didnt die under his leadership lookshesrightthere and it’s 1000% too much for him. His knees have turned into jello everyone else doesn’t matter, her arms are the only thing keeping him from collapsing too the ground.

And he’s just apologizing to her violently bc this is DONNA and bc of flaws in his plan, in his execution he’s had to live without her and he’s just… so happy that’s not forever. He doesn’t have to live without Donna forever, just a little while longer and he gets his sister back.

And ofc bc it’s Donna and Dick she’s 100% not having the apologies and telling him that her death is 100% not his fault and she’s so sorry anything about her has hurt him like this.

Anyway it’s very soft and sweet and teary and they collapse in a puddle of omgmysiblingiloveyou goop. Dick is like fully passed out like an infant after a really good crying session. And Donna is clutching at Dick because he’s here and alive and misses her and doesn’t have the weird glint future Dick has where it looks like he’s looking at her corpse every time they meet eyes.

They could be alone or it could be in front of the batbabies or Batman and Superman or the fab 5 or Kori&roy outlaws or just Roy outsiders, or just Bruce or just Jason

Dealers choice

I just need everyone to know how important Donna Troy is to 1 dick Grayson

When hes recovered from experiencing emotions ™️ he just keeps holding her face between his hands and double checking everything’s okay

Does she have what she wanted in life

Is she happy?

Are her relationships good

He won’t touch Bruce’s money but if she needs an apartment let him know. It’s worth it for this

Is anyone on the league giving her shit (he graduated from the bat university of contingency planning he can help if super strength isn’t enough to take em down)

So on

It’s very cute

It’s very sad

I want you to visibly tell that even however long it’s been since this event (ur choice) Dick Grayson never could have wholly survived Donna Troy’s death, and the longer she was gone the more pieces of himself he lost.

Bruce being startled by laughs and cackles of mischief he though had long been buried

Dick being more of a sibling and less of a parent

The bat neurosis being just so so much lighter

He wasn’t as good or kind of a person when gone but it wasn’t that obvious to anyone. Now that this young Dick Grayson has barely had to move through life without her, has seen that she will come back. His whole image is softer. Everything from the way his eyes assess the world to the tense lines in his back is just softer. More forgiving almost

Anyway

Dick and Donna hours with everyone and their mother understanding just how much these two love each other

Thank you bye bye now

I WAS NOT EXPECTING THAT FINAL LINE OMG EHAT

Dick is a pretty boy. Everyone knows it, except him.

There is an unwritten rule about not hitting him in the face, everyone follows it, (even from his time as Robin some people already followed this rule). His siblings when by miracle they train together. His team when they get together to practice strategies and fighting methods. Even the damned villains and evildoers know not to hit the pretty bird in the face.

Dick never finds it strange. Somehow, he thinks it's simply because people have learned that punching him in the face isn't really going to stop him, if they're looking to confuse him, hitting the back of his head is more effective.

It's not until a drug dealer accidentally hits him in the nose for the first time in years, breaking it, that he notices something strange. How could he not? The battle stops for a moment because his companions start yelling at him, telling him that his face is off limits, and the dealer apologizes.

Dick barely blinks and stops them, then goes to his apartment to clean up the blood, the pain not even bothering him at this point. That's why he doesn't understand why not only his team makes a fuss about it the next day, but they even call his siblings to tell them what happened. He's not even that hurt ??????

The only other person who doesn't make a fuss about it is Batman, who has punched Dick in the face enough times to find it odd. Nobody is happy with Batman upon discovering that fact.