Yes, Their Close Platonic Relationship In Canon Is Important To Me Specifically Because It's Both Close

i know its been 5 plus years and enough people have talked about this enough but i cannot physically refrain from clawing my eyes out every time i come across this panel. Truly one of the most ridiculous things tom king has ever written (and the list is huge). Like why is this character who is almost in his thirties comparing himself to his brothers who are atleast 5 to 12 years younger than him? Of all the things he could have an identity crisis about they actually made him lose his mind over what type of robin am I? Not parents dying in front of a whole ass audience or withstanding the demands of being the perfect soldier in batman's crusade or having to put up with the pressure of being a leader other heroes look up to or his friends and family dying all the time, and man i could go on and on. I assure you he is not losing any sleep over where he stands with a bunch of people he cares for very deeply and ultimately thinks of as kids.

Listen the ‘Bruce brought dick in to stop him killing Zucco” is fun

You know what’s more fun

The fact that Dick Grayson is the fundamental opposite of Jokers one bad day

Because he was 9 and insane

Jokers “all it takes is one bad day” meet Dick Grayson also terminally insane but in the opposite direction.

(“I had a bad day not a fan, it’s illegal now”

“Chum murder is already illegal”

“Yeah in the eyes of the law, but who follows that! I’ve decided it’s illegal for people to have bad days”

“You have to follow laws Dick. You have to”

“Says the man getting shot at by the cops bc he dresses as a giant bat monster and fights crime using ancient martial arts”

“Hnnng”

“Anyway it’s illegal now, people suffering I have decided and I’m adorable so what I say goes!”

Bruce pinching bridge of nose “Dick you can’t save everyone and change every person you meets life”

“How about! No!”

“Di-“

“Great talk Bruce! Bye bye now!”)

Like when I say Dick Grayson was the crazy Robin I don’t mean he was aggressive or cruel

No I mean this man would not be out of place in Lewis Carol’s Alice in wonderland.

He’d see all the insane shit in Gotham and go ‘that makes perfect sense’ and continue on his merry way

Like he’s the type of kid who when he’s mad at Bruce for sidelining him on a fight against the joker (and making him fight Harley)

Will pull out a chessboard, grab Harley Quinn and go “I win, you get arkhamed you win we fight”

“Kid-“

“I have a gymnastics competition coming up and I wanna show up this douche in my class- you are not breaking my legs before then. Sit down. Play chess”

“Shit kid why didncha say so”

Why does he wanna fight the Joker who will objectively injure him far more throughly

“Well it’s simple math, I grew up in a circus, I like clowns, he is the biggest disgrace to clownery I’ve ever seen bet he didn’t even go to clown college. Doesn’t even have any iconic makeup, he just has toxic waste skin?? Like not even eye makeup or a red nose?? If you wanna do thematic crime do it right? Anyway it’s my legal obligation to try at any given moment to reck the embarrassment to all things goofy and funs shit.”

—————

Bruce looking for his 9 year old ward who was kidnapped as Robin

Dick hanging upside down on semi sentient vine gesturing wildly at poison Ivy who is nodding empathically

“And the water here is not normal!! Like how do you grow plants! I used to have to take care of plants all the time and now if I water them they rot! Like right in front of me!!? And I feel so bad but?? It’s water?? Please drink it?? Mr plant”

“Oh yeah it’s because of all the toxic ace chemicals in the water, you have to triple filter it. Honestly Robin I’m disappointed, your plants should be drinking the same water as you”

“ they do tho!”

“You…drink… Gotham tap water? Batman lets you drink Gotham tap water?”

“Well no… he always tells me to use the filter but I like the tap water!! Sometimes it’s fun colors and spicy”

“oh… oh that explains so much about you..”

“No he just came like that.”

“Oh HI B I was asking miss Dr.ivy why my plants keep dying”

“Robin don’t consort with villains”

“Miss Dr. Ivy you’re a doctor right”

Poison Ivy who is violently amused “PHD not MD but yeah I am”

“So you’re smart”

“Yeasss”

“Cool!…. What does consort mean?”

————-

Annoys the riddler by going with the most out of pocket technically true answer

Think “a sparrow with a shotgun”

———-

Makes the Jokers goons laugh, louder than the joker. Even while under threats of death by sufficiently wacky murder plot

———-

How is today the day I learn trump supporters are on this site?? Like bro who are you?? Go to twitter or somethings.

I mean democrats also suck but y'all are way worse

I wanna apologize to anyone who’s been keeping up with any of my fics and wips. The ao3 authors curse has gotten me. I have been falling in and out of fevers for a while and I can barely speak + my vision is so blurry I’m looking at the world through a kaleidoscope.

I’m so sorry if any of yall have been waiting/looking forward to anything I’ve written

Dick and Jay: the early days

young! Jason: Dude how do you deal with all the assholes at these fucking events. One dude just asked me how much Bruce pays me a night to 'keep quiet'

Barely 18 Dick Grayson: who asked you that?

y!Jay: I think his name was Mr. Devonfeild

DG: ahh okay *walks away*

Jay: wha? where are going??

DG who is sleeping off a drinking binge him a Roy had at titans tower and cannot be asked to deal with assholes rn: Oh im gonna fuck his wife

Jay: huh?

How I picture Brucie Wayne’s birth in the battinson universe.

8yr old Dick Grayson: so B I gotta ask

Battinson: hn

8yr old newly Robin Dick Grayson: do you really think that people don’t suspect the crazy Rich secluded billionaire who disappeared for years to be Batman and then takes in a child only for ‘I’m vengeance’ to appear with a child at the same time.

Battinson: hnnn

DG: nonono like no offense but like don’t you think it’s a little …obvious… like marvel movies exist..

Battinson: hnnn what do you propose I do then?

DG: duh you gotta make sure it’s impossible for you to be Batman

Battinson: hmm so I should plan an event where we are both spot-

DG: get drunk and swim in a fountain

Battinson: ???

DG: if Bruce Wayne is dumb he can’t be Batman

Battinson: Bruce Wayne is the head of one the most successful companies in the worl-

DG nodding along: yep all thanks to the amazing help he hired to do the work for him while he search for the cure to polio in the Sahara desert

Battinson: the polio vaccine already exists Dick

DG hand placed on forehead like a fainting damsel: oh it’s so sad about poor Brucie you know, dumb as a rock that one. Didn’t get an ounce of his parents intelligence thank god he got lucky enough that the people he surrounds himself with are loyal to his parents and aren’t stealing money from him.

Battinson: Robin I’m really not followi-

DG rolling his eyes and grabbing B’s face: I’m telling you to play himbo with heart of gold. If people think you’re sweet and pathetic, they’ll (A) underestimate you (B) not question why you disappear for months (C) pathetic good looking idiots get sympathy points.

Battinson: and how would you know this

DG who got adopted by a billionaire who won’t say no to anything he says bc puppy dog eyes: …….

Battinson: …fair point

DG: worlds greatest Detective he says

they are eating all my brain cells

I want a buddy cop style comic, but it is just Dick and Donna trying to keep their younger siblings and teammates out of trouble while trying to figure out which Wonder Twin Roy, Wally, Kori and Garth is in love with.

Every couple of issues are focused on a different group of siblings, teammates and potential core titans love interest, but every time you think one of the wonder twins are about to get the girl/guy they get blue balled by having to go save someone else. The other twin is laughing at them from the other side of the room while starting up the Zeta-beam.

They save the world like 5 different times and save thousands of lives but their banter the entire time is just them making fun of each other and their crushes.

Was I supposed to find out for myself that dazai and chuuya were just like that (tm)