I Am Tired Of People Acting Like Duke Hates Dick, He Doesn’t Did He Feel Betrayed ? Yeah But Honestly

Bro this whole discourse over who would be a republican/ a trumpie in the dc verse is so stupid imo bc we have so much canon info

Batfamily: none of them have been even vaguely conservative since the 90s, infact they’re all pretty far left with Bruce being the most center because he trusts one (1) cop. (Oooh but dick was a cop, yes as an infiltration tactic until he realized they were too corrupt -he was also like 19-20 during this time- to fix and canonically doesn’t work with them at all as a rule)

Bruce rebuilds his city pro bono like twice a year and single handedly funds like 80% of their social welfare, it’s also canon he refers goons to the nearest Wayne enterprise and gets them hired if Batman knows they’re just their bc they’re struggling

Arrows: NEVER INSULT OLIVER QUEEN IN MY FACE EVER AGAIN. This man is 50% a communist 50% Bernie sanders biggest fan depending on the media.

This man would never be a republican ignoring the arrowverse like it’s actually canon that Ollie won’t shut up about politics

Superfam: … the illegal alien who has to hide the fact he’s different from everyone else in a small town…. Hmmm maybe Kon is conservative if you’re blind, deaf and a little slow, Jon has a pink haired boyfriend and is besties with a middle eastern/south Asian kid actually so let’s not?

Clark Canonically hates the KKK you think he’d be part of the party whose candidate was endorsed by them??

Flashes: Barry Allen is a conservative, Wally west was when he was younger but he’s been pretty liberal since he became as adult, Wallace has never been conservative (TV Barry you will always be the most likeable Barry)

Lanterns: Hal Jordan is a Conservative, the rest are in fact not

Wonder Woman collective: Diana??? Donna??? Artemis?? Cassie??? None of the above don’t be dumb

Anyway it’s pretty hard to have a heroic character who doesn’t believe in social welfare? Since they’re running around saving people for free and 99% of them are anti killing. + having characters be sexist, racist and/or homophobic makes them less likable objectively and also narrows down the amount of stories you can tell.

Me with my female favorite characters: look at you my perfect perfect girl. I cannot say a single thing that may be misinterpreted so I will literally only say that you should be everyone’s favorite you can’t do anything wrong ever and I love you so much and you need more appreciation. Banned from my tags cuz if I have to read angst about you I will sob. And if you go through trauma in canon I will give you a story to healthily process these issues and learn and grow from them my darlings

Me with my male favorite characters: … you have so many issues already…. Give them more. I will find your worst moments and make sure everyone knows about them. Your least favorite trait of yourself is my favorite and I will use this to abuse you psychologically. Not only will I explicitly search for fiction that hurts you I will make it myself. I hate you (my beloved) you will never hear a compliment out of my you stupid stupid man I love you.

Fanon Tim Drake: everyone hates me, my entire family has abandoned me and they will all rue the day that they abandoned me. The only one who truly understands me is the red hood because he too was abandoned I haven’t slept in 3 months 2 weeks 11 days and 21 hours

Canon Tim Drake: wow this dude is hardcore goth

Also canon Tim: *fell asleep on a rollercoster*

Also canon Tim: *actually reaches out for help when he needs it*

Also canon Tim: *doesnt resent Dick Grayson for taking away Robin*

Also canon Tim:*mocks Jason Todd violently bc wtf was that Robin costume*

Listen any normal human should and would act like fanon Tim but I fear this is the bat family they try to murder each other and then go get burgers together.

It’s their deal

Canon Tim is a funny lil guy

I love canon Tim sm

Let him be happy

If yall RUIN CANON TIM FOR ME like Tom Taylor did canon Grayson I will never forgive you

The best part about DC canon being a sandbox is that you can combine different parts of different timelines into your Frankenstein ideal just to give Bruce Wayne more gray hairs

Observe

Bruce: Dick you know you’re 26 you can’t keep working as a gymnastics instructor on a volunteer basis you need a career.

Dick who has been working as a lawyer in nyc for 3 years now: hmmm yeah you’re totally right B maybe I’ll take some classes

Bruce: Tim you need to get your GED, I cannot allow you to give up on education at highschool.

Tim who got into ivy university and has been zeta-ing back and forth: …hmmm maybe I’m kinda busy

Bruce: I have no idea what Jason does in the day

Jason catholic priest Todd: … yeah I got nothing

-this shitpost was brought to you solely to remind everyone that JASON TODD WAS A CATHOLIC PRIEST IN ANOTHER DIMENSION THANK YOU

Tim: I can’t tell dick?? I don’t want him to think I’m crazy or not trustworthy bc I’m doing something reckless??!

Jason who saw Dick make out with a mark to steal something from his pocket when Dick was 17:…

Bruce who saw Dick jump off a moving plane and hum the song “I need a hero” instead of calling for Superman:

Wally who say Dick go fuck it and infiltrate a sex trafficking ring as a stripper bc someone said he was too pretty to work for the mob:

Roy who has smacked dick out of delusions 15 times too many:

Clark who saw dick stay in a radioactive city for vibes:

Diana who has heard Donna’s concerned ramblings since she was like 12:

Damian who saw that Dick turned the bat ears into projectiles that can electrocute you:

Steph who saw the same thing:

Tim who refuses to believe Dick Grayson can do anything that isn’t brilliant, premeditated and completely the best option: I CANT HE’ll be so disappointed:(

Bane holding Dick dressed as Batman: I promise I will break your back as well

Bane attempts to snap dicks spine

Dick: *bends*

Bane: *straightens Dick back and tries to snap dicks spine over his knee*

Dick ‘I wanted to be a contortionist in the circus’ Grayson: bends to accommodate shape of knee

Bane: wut

Dick: … I’m Batman?

Bane: …

Dick: idk man it seemed appropriate for the moment

Bane:….

Dick Grayson and Donna Troy should get platonically married plz ideal besties

Also plz fic recs for them

Can we please stop with the angsty everyone hates me Tim Drake stuff??

Tim is only fun as a dorky loser with the smartest mouth you’ve ever had to hear

Tim ‘damn sucks what happened to that not dick grayson Robin imagine getting blown up that’s so cringe fail lol couldn’t be me im just better ig?’ Drake.

Tim ‘it doesn’t count as cheating if I date one girl as Robin and one as Tim’ Drake?

Tim ‘me and my friends accidentally killed Santa and instead of telling anyone we all just work together to deliver Christmas gifts around the world so that no one notices’ Drake.

Tim ‘my parents love me and are busy Drake which means I must break into Dick Graysons and Kori Anders apartment bc I am a nepo baby who doesn’t need to make money and have nothing better to do that stalk people’ Drake

Tim skater boy Drake

Tim who definitely tells people he listens to indie music and pulls up arctic monkeys while actually listening to indie music he’s just doing this bc it makes purists cringe.

Dick and Tim are brothers and love each other (and yeah even though the Morrison run and Red Robin and spyral happened they still do)

Tim and Damian have a way better relationship now than when Damian was 10

Tim and Jason have the vibe that someone made Jason apologize for titans tower and Tim got so embarrassed cuz like tell me not everyone thinks the loser Robin beat him up that badly?? Like tossed him around sure, won…sure but it wasn’t that uneven? Right?

People would notice if Tim went missing the last time he was left alone unsupervised he lost a spleen and had a weird relationship with Ras al ghul. Also… they’re bats… they track everything??? They track the gram weight to the last digit of their protein powders in their heads.

Brother had one (1) angst arc. Okay

It’s done

Can we go back to slay fun Tim?? Plz