That Moment Of Anticipatory Silence

They are often less than a minor inconvenience.

I wipe them from my brow like sweat. Pluck them from my head like stray hairs. Toss them to the corners of my room.

The more persistent may take hold of my nerves.

I conjure imaginary fire to burn them away. Lock them and boxes and toss them from my window. Slap them from my skin like pesky bugs.

Only active movement can banish them. It's a temporary fix though. They still inch into my head waiting to pounce on me with violent scenes and repulsive images.

My thoughts aren't always my own, but my actions are.

No bolder words are ever spoken than from the mouth of a dying man

You called me Atlas and pressed the weight down on my shoulders.

Time has passed but I'm not better, just older.

Damned if you do

Damned if you don't

Wish there were more options

Than will

Or won't

It's sun down now. The early stages of it, where the sky is still full of light and color. The clouds are thick an mountinous. And completely still in the sky.

The big lumbering breaths are blushed pink around the edges. Deep scores of grey over every curve and crevice. Dense and almost palpable.

It looks like a painted back drop.

And I have no where else to look.

When worlds collide they do so violently.

Crashing together with a destructive passion.

They set fire to each other and are burnt up in the process.

But what is left in their wake is what we live for.

Don't you just hate it when you get the chance to talk. Like finally talk for the first time in forever. And you know it's been a while since you started but everyone else talks all the time so what if you go on for a while. But now people are changing the subject and the conversation is rolling naturally in another direction like conversations are supposed to do. But you weren't done and you can't move the conversation backwards so you just get quiet. Quiet like you always are. And you don't know how long it's gonna be this time before you can talk again.

I fell headfirst into your eyes. Walking deep into your soul. Forgetting where I'd been before.

    Now i’m so lost in you I don’t know if I’ll be able to find my way out.

    Clawing at your seams, desperate for freedom.

Trapped am I in the lilt of your voice; the tilt of your head. The sad way you look at me. 

    I’m not sure if I’ll ever be rid of you; or if I even could

What I wouldnt give to feel the static in my limbs again.

For as much as it makes me jump and twitch at least I can move.

For as distracting as my restlessness is at least I am not still.

Not frozen by the empty space between my skin and my bones.

Left hollow by the absence of motivation; Of want for anything.

Stop telling me I have to be pure, to be worth it.