Close 𐑺 .⁺ ˖

i'm not the best at singing. but i'm gonna sing anyway dude. i'm not the best at painting. but i'm still going to paint. my dancing will never see a stage. but it's perfect for early mornings in my bedroom and late nights with people i love. so what does this mean? it means that people are designed to do. not to be the best. just to do. if you're doing what you enjoy, then you don't have to be the best. you just have to enjoy it. you have to live.

Wishing everyone peace and happiness this holiday season! I hope you're keeping warm, wherever you are.

121924

I’m sitting in my work’s break room, eating a piece of cheesecake. Someone made this.

Was it a labor of love?

I wonder if the cake was made with tears or laughter.

I wake up and ponder if my work looks like love or survival. I’m not where I want to be, not at all. But is it helping me live even just a little?

I dream of mornings with fried eggs and toast. Days off, I watch him smile as he write and I illustrate. When I sleep, I squeeze tight the plushes I bought myself on good and bad days.

I love, I breathe, I hope. I was made to love and hope, not to throw my heart away for survival.

Perhaps, though I don’t want to be here forever, this job of mine is helping me to have little memories. Maybe this work of mine is leading me to where I want to be.

But maybe I am allowed to embrace the desire for something more.

Walking in the diamond ocean, the sound of waves calling me home. The humming of his heartbeat as he sways in dance with me. The scent flowers from millions of mothers, the glittering of a million stars, the taste of a creamy cake lightly dipped in strawberry perfection—I was made for beautiful things.

All of our beautiful souls were made for beautiful things, so never give up on what makes your heart beat with love.

職場の休憩室でチーズケーキを食べている。誰かが作ったものだ。

愛の結晶だろうか。

このケーキは涙を流して作ったのだろうか、それとも笑って作ったのだろうか。

目が覚めると、自分の仕事が愛に見えるのか、サバイバルに見えるのか、考え込んでしまう。私は自分の望むところにはいない。でも、少しでも生きる助けになっているだろうか？

目玉焼きとトーストの朝を夢見る。休みの日は、彼が書き、私がイラストを描きながら微笑むのを見る。寝るときは、良い日も悪い日も自分で買ったぬいぐるみをぎゅっと握りしめる。

私は愛し、呼吸し、願う。私は愛し、希望を抱くために作られたのであって、生きるために心を投げ出すために作られたのではない。

もしかしたら、ずっとここにいたいとは思わないけれど、私のこの仕事は、小さな思い出を持つことを助けてくれているのかもしれない。もしかしたら、私のこの仕事は、私が望む場所に私を導いてくれているのかもしれない。

でも、私はもっと何かを求めてもいいのかもしれない。

ダイヤモンドの海を歩き、波の音が私を家に呼ぶ。私とダンスをしながら揺れる彼の鼓動。何百万もの母親から届く花の香り、100万もの星のきらめき、イチゴの完璧な味に軽く浸されたクリームケーキの味......。

私たちの美しい魂は皆、美しいもののために作られているのだから、自分の心を愛で鼓動させるものを決してあきらめてはいけない。

122524

With all the love within me, I wish you all a merry Christmas. May the hearts of those who weep be cradled gently in peace. May the lonely, lost and weary rest in the light of hope.

You are beautiful and worth more than all the silver and gold of the season. May you all be blessed and cherished.

私の中にあるすべての愛を込めて、皆さんにメリークリスマス。泣いている人の心が、平和の中で優しく揺り動かされますように。孤独な人、迷った人、疲れた人が希望の光の中で休めますように。

あなたは美しく、この季節のすべての銀や金よりも価値がある。皆さんが祝福され、大切にされますように。

The Muppet Christmas Carol (1992) dir. Brian Henson

“What a strange dream that was. Beautiful sights that I'd never seen before. But they seemed somehow familiar. It was a beautiful dream. I wish everyone could've seen it.”

wait again, i will be much better thenー

holding on, i said,

“i will be much better, then.”