The Fake Breeze Was The Icing On The Cake Bro I Was Dying

crying my eyes out idk 

Girls don’t want boys, girls want white-haired Sankta Alina and book accurate Korol Rezni

I'm re-listening to TMA and I CANNOT get over the 180 Jon does in "Page Turner." We're four episodes in and the last three have been spent building up Jon as the cliched skeptic who takes a Rational™ approach to his supernatural job, thank you very much. Oh, you encountered a meat puppet trying to lure you into an alleyway? Sure you did, Mr. Drunk As a Skunk. My hometown is housing moaning coffins that dislike being used as coffee tables? Uh huh, says the self-identified drug addict. Oh, the woman who saw the Not!Them didn't have injuries severe enough to induce hallucinations? Alright, fine, but I'm sure there's some explanation for all this. I am Jonathan Stuffy Sims and I will NOT be cowed by a bunch of unverifiable superstitions.

So by now the listener is pretty used to this format. Creepy statement, skeptical Jon, just enough ambiguity to set up the eventual reveal that all this is true. We know how these stories go. Jon will get blindsided by the revelation in like... a season? Maybe two? Poor guy is gonna be so shocked, being a skeptic and all smh 😔

BUT THEN MAG4 slams in with the post-statement to end all post-statements. Jon comes out swinging and just fucking decks the listener with "If I never hear the name Jurgen Leitner again it will be too soon." Oh, you thought the ominous book collector would be news to him, something else to dismiss? SIKE. He already hates Leitner, all his homies hate Leitner, Leitner is an established Supernatural Threat and god dammit, I thought we'd already dealt with this back in 1994. What was Gertrude thinking? We need to stop the spread of evil ozone books immediately. I'm taking this up with Elias, I'm taking it to the TOP, because if we don't keep the clearly undead woman and her heat-averse son from spreading more fucked-up novels around we are all DOOMED. What's that? There was Sanskrit written on her flayed corpse? Oh, of course there was because organizing this archive wasn't ENOUGH of a challenge!!

And then in future statements Jon goes right back to, "The supernatural? I do not see it 😌"

All of which is WAY more fucked up and compelling than the traditional skeptic. Jon is a mess. Truly the most character of all time.

Lockwood and Co American AU:

“You like….. Italian?”

“You mean….. Olive Garden?”

I will never shut up about their relationship it’s so perfect and comforting they care about each other so much 😭😭

Doctor Who - The Star Beast

You’re my friend and you matter, whether you remember me or not.

At my funeral I don’t want them to play traditional hymns n shit I want an original soundtrack by Will Wood to play throughout the service pls and thank you

NAUR WARREN YOU DIDN’T

more like an adoption if you ask me 🤨 Dalinar tried to be sneaky with it fr

Rant and RotDS spoilers incoming:

Why the hell did Kendra decide to go back to the Fairy Realm?! She’s supposed to be the one who makes smart decisions but girl’s just gonna get herself captured again 😭

We could have gotten a scene where she rousts the Knights of the Dawn to fight, and the return of Trask, Mara, Elise, and all the other characters from the OG series who just disappeared after KttDP. Instead we get… whatever that was lol

It’s just so unlike her that it’s obvious that the scene was written as her “making a dumb decision” just so Seth’s hero arc can advance and that boils my blood

Rant over lmao

On a different note Kendra and Raxtus are going back to Obsidian Waste!! It’s just a fly-thru and I doubt we’ll see the return of any OG characters but it feels so nostalgic :)

I know it wasn’t supposed to be funny but when Ojka picked the wrong eye I laughed