Hm Hm Hm...the Day Dreaming..😩

I JUST saw that and i need to tell a history for everyone. Idk whos gonna see this, maybe even he will see this..

Begin

So, my history starts in 2022, i was still studying and a lot of weird and shitty stuff happened in 2021, so 2022 was the year of hope, the year that everything would change and i was sooo hopeful!

I was finally getting along with my colleagues and - again - everything was getting better...after my "dad"s death all i wanted was to fill the whole he left. And then he came, the new English teacher.

My English teacher H, was very young, like 22y at the time and you can judge me but at the start I really had a crush on him yk just teenager shit, it's the tendency. He was very sweet with me and everyone n he NEVER exceeded anything with me. H was mysterious, the only teacher who was still wearing a mask and this made EVERYONE wonder "hmm how'd he looks like?"

The Life change decision

I need to aware you guys, at the time i just lost my dad I was in deep grief, my teacher reminded so much of my dad, he was vivid. Alive. And again, i wanted to fill the whole of his absence.

When I asked myself, "how'd he look like.." I made a plan. He was (is) an artist and my friend used to draw a lot too (me too but I was toooo shy), so my friend and i decided: What if my friend created an account to post his draws, and give it to my teacher, he'd follow and we'd know how he looked like. WORST DECISION. but we did it. And IT WORKED!

Me being a good curious person, faked being sociable... *Yeah yeah ik it's ridiculously weird*. I started talking to him and we got close *but no too much* and then...my very first panic attack of the year } Making it clear at this point I didn't follow him on Instagram, i just knew his @. Back to the panic attack: it happened in his class, and he noticed and came to help me, Oh god what a bad decision.

He was very caring and did everything he could to help getting out of this, i allowed him to see my soul, and how it was broken and i didn't want to but my own decisions slipped through my fingers. And then happened what I thought it would happen. I got attached to him with all my little young heart.

Well he gave his Instagram to me (which I already had...) And we started talking for hours n hours, but I made this stupid to:

Ask myself

Well at some point we need stop and ask yourselfs: WE are talking or it's just ME? And yes it was just me talking.

I didn't know anything about his life, only he didn't have a father, he had a cat, and that he was still studying and liked Pixel Art.

So I stopped talking to him. The fun thing is that in school he never greeted me. Never. But all the other students he did. } In this time our last conversation was about his crush, that he started dating.

Ok now a jump of time, months like that, months and months, and he refuse to talk to me, and i was so so hurt because I like him, I looked at him as a friend. And i meant nothing to him at all. I felt betrayed.

I finally decided to send a message to him asking what happened, we talked, and he said it was a big misunderstanding of both of us (lie) and we started to talk again. It lasted a week. Till I joked about his friend being hot in a very SARCASTIC WAY. and he got a little angry.

After that I told him I wanted try to be a good friend and help him too, and he said straight up to me, "no, I won't tell anything about how I feel or anything like that" and i asked him why and he simply replayed "because no"

Idk I think I was just so full of rage and i snapped and said to myself "ok, I'm over with this" and never talked to him again.

End

So now I tell you guys: it wasn't worth it. Trying to save a relationship (in any kind) that it's over - sometimes - it's not the best you can do, sometimes it's better letting go, even if the person means a lot to you.

He never talked to me again and we probably won't ever again, but I learned with him that it is ok to let go and it is ok to have temporary people in your life.

Sometimes people we don't expect come so we can learn something.

If you came all the way down here and read everything here's his draws account, it's beautiful. H.

Satellite Sky

Donation links to help feed the people displaced by the floods happening in Rio Grand do Sul

The Homeless Workers' Movement (MTST) and the Landless Rural Workers' Movement (MST) are doing crowdfunding projects to help feed the displaced population in Rio Grande do Sul.

To donate you need to make an account on the website. It's rather quick to make an account, and your browser should be able to translate the website.

MTST's crowdfunding campaign

MST's crowdfunding campaign

@stormyseaes 's archive <3

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