TT

Wizard: Oh, I like your Goblin detecting sword! That's funny.

Goblin who thought they just had a cool glowing sword: ... My what now?

Same

What i need right now is to just lay down and let the dirt consume me

i have a great day until i remember something mildly embarrassing i did twenty years ago and then i freeze on the spot unable to move

Yes this!!!

My headcanon is that he had a wife, but she died, and he was too grief stricken to tell anybody. Then he met this guy George (the "brother in law"), and they eventually move in together (in one of the early seasons Columbo mentions that George is living with him). When he talks about his wife in the show, the stories are a mix of the dead wife and George

columbo gets a free of charge travel plus hotel plus expenses plus tourism all paid trip to EUROPE to the other side of the world in england but he doesnt bring his wife. he does bring his brother in laws camera thou. you know wat we call these men

@staff our identities aren’t nsfw and we will not stand for them to be treated as such

Also dont speak 'murican, im 167 cm, so 5'3-5'4 ig??

@ mutuals rb this w how tall you are i wanna know

i’m 4’11

real adult™ tip from a real adult™ with executive dysfunction

do stuff while waiting for other stuff

like that sounds intuitive and vague but so much of the day is spent in a period of wait and if you struggle to motivate yourself to do things then this is the best time

waiting for your water to boil? bag up your garbage. waiting for your coffee to drip? wipe down your counters. roommate taking up the bathroom? scoop the cat box. waiting for your food to cook in the microwave? do however many dishes you can while it’s in there. 

waiting is the perfect time to do a limited amount of something for yourself where you would be otherwise just standing around doing fuck-all

THIS IS THE BEST THING I HAVE EVER SEEN