I Am Loved

Just because you have it, doesn’t mean you have to spend it.

Chameleon

I'm different faces for different people, and at the end of the day my personalities are exhausted.

More please. I need more story.

The Mermaid of Lily Lake by Andy Ivanov

Sex to feel better.

I was very upset the whole day today. Just very out of my body, and I felt like I was too much in myself, and I could feel the blackness near my heart about to engulf me in depression.

Tonight, my husband was very concerned. He said that I wasn’t myself, and he missed me. He asked me how he could help me.

I said, “can we make love?” He smiled and led me upstairs. And for 30 minutes he brought me back to myself, and all the stress, anger, guilt, pity, hate, and at last, all there was left after I was brought back down to the world was a weight lifting off my shoulders, and such love for him. I even told him.

Me: I love you.

Him: I love you too.

Me: No, I mean, I really love you. I’m in love with you.

I wanted him to know, that this was the love I felt for him. I put all that feeling I had for him in my declaration, and I felt desperate in this moment. His one response that melted me, no matter how small was, “I know,” as he hugged me from behind and kissed my shoulder.

He made me feel whole again, he relieved my stress, he took my mind off my anger, and he put my depression back at bay.

Him: Did we have sex just to have sex, or to make yourself feel better?

Me: Yes.

Laughter ensues.

I’m so happy I want to share it with the world.

A little bit of paradise.

Bringing my halo to the party.

I’m really taken by these caps lol… I’ve actually been thinking about them recently because the title “God, I’m tired” really makes itself felt here when both Eve and Villanelle close their eyes while lying side by side on the bed. Sure, in doing so both of them sharpen these very naive edges around their actions, saturated with the fact that Eve means to “kill” Villanelle whereas Villanelle is out to “watch” her, but there is something about how readily they still share that space - however small it may be - and have these sincere moments. I mean… these caps look peaceful out of context, despite Villanelle holding a gun.

They actually just might as well be because even when Eve’s reserved, “Yes,” to Villanelle’s, “You’ve found me,” sounds nebulously raging… she still manages to simply laugh when Villanelle praises her, “Well done”. And the fact that Villanelle, in return, has to do the same (ever caught her quick breathy chuckle? It’s short and yall should hear it). It’s such a specific response to that realization. It’s paltable, genuine and cocky and Eve can’t help herself but sink into it. What a brilliant choice to underscore their love language tbh.

For as the moon rose, she felt her bones breaking, her animalistic blood pleading for the change, pleading for the soft caress of the moons rays bleeding between her growing fur. As she fully transformed, her howl was her climax.