I'm Trying To Fight The Second One But THE VOICES-

i'm trying to fight the second one but THE VOICES-

On the Roof

Pairings: I initially wrote this as an Az x reader but I think it accidentally came out as a Rhys x reader. Idrk, you figure it out🫠 Summary: Reader is Rhys’s mate, but is having a Nesta moment (thinking she’s not good enough for him). She flees Velaris and Azriel is sent to watch over her/convince her to come back. Warnings: Curse words, insecurities, angst. Word count: 737

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“What are you doing?”

The shadowsinger whorled around at the sound of your voice. Part of him was amazed; it wasn’t often someone managed to surprise him.

You’d caught him on the roof of your apartment building, waiting for you to get home from work. You knew he’d been watching you for about two weeks, but you hadn’t actually been able to catch him in the act until now.

“I was… uh…” he stuttered, not sure how to proceed. You crossed your arms, raising a brow at him.

“Did Rhys send you?” Your voice was calm, trying to hide the anger that you felt. He swallowed.

“Yes,” he admitted. “But… I also wanted to come.”

“Why?” Pure curiosity, again hiding the anger.

“I…” Another swallow. “I wanted to make sure you’re okay.”

You blinked. “I’m fine.”

“Okay… good,” he responded. It was quiet for a few moments. “Rhys misses you. He wants to apologize; he’s been a wreck since you left.” You let out a long exhale, fighting the urge to roll your eyes.

I’m the one who left without an explanation, but of course he wants to apologize, you thought. Perfect Rhysand, always being so caring and attentive and fucking perfect.

A shiver ran up your spine. You slowly approached where he stood next to the railing and looked out over the city. “I’m not coming back to Velaris.”

“Why not?” You were shocked at the question; you didn’t think he cared that much. But then again, you were really good friends with Az before you left. You always felt like you could talk to him. He seemed to get you when no one else did. You silently cursed yourself for ruining that friendship, and all the others.

“I don’t want it.” You fought to keep your voice from breaking. As usual, he knew exactly what you meant.

“(Y/N), he’s your mate.”

“That means nothing.”

“That means everything!” He wasn’t yelling by any means, but his voice was definitely louder than you’d ever heard it. He turned back to face you and exhaled. “You’re really fucking lucky, you know… You’re lucky to even have a mate at all; some of us would give anything for that bond.”

Your ears heated. Az hadn’t yet been mated. He never spoke about it, but you knew it had to have been hard for him to be the only un-mated male in the group. You saw the way he looked at Cassian and Nesta sometimes, like he was happy for them, but he craved that closeness with someone.

“But,” he continued. “You’re also lucky to have a mate who loves you so much. You’re lucky to have a mate who would do anything for you; who would go to the ends of the Earth just to make you happy. You’re lucky to have a mate who is such a good male. And you’re too fucking blind to see it.”

A hot tear rolled down your cheek and anger exploded in your chest. “Don’t you get it? That’s the fucking point.”

“What?” His voice was riddled with irritated confusion. You focused on the railing; you couldn’t meet his eyes.

“He’s so fucking good. He’s kind and he’s patient and he’s generous. He’s… perfect. And… I’m not. I’m a terrible fucking person. He should hate me. I deserve it. He shouldn’t be shackled to me for his entire existence just because of some archaic mating bond. He deserves better.” Tears fell freely down your face now and you could feel Azriel’s stare soften.

He wrapped an arm around you and you cried into his chest. You felt him press a soft kiss to my forehead and he rubbed your back. It was quiet for a while, besides the sound of your sniffles.

When you ran out of tears, you pulled back enough to look up at him. “Do you think I should go back?”

“Yes. I do.” He knew it wasn’t the answer you wanted to hear, but he could never lie to you. “And not just because of Rhys. Everyone misses you… Cass, Mor… Even Amren.” He tucked a lock of hair behind your ear, his voice soft. “I miss you.”

A shiver ran up your spine and you hugged him even tighter. “I miss you too, Az. I’m sorry… I shouldn’t have just abandoned you.”

“Don’t be sorry.” You felt his hands gently caressing your back. “Just come home.”