Idontknowwhatsgoingonhelp - Angst_is_the_best

idontknowwhatsgoingonhelp - angst_is_the_best
idontknowwhatsgoingonhelp - angst_is_the_best

More Posts from Idontknowwhatsgoingonhelp and Others

Talia and Tim must have the most awkward relationship ever and i bet Jason and Damian find it hysterical.

Bruce: of course you remember Jason and Damian, and this is Tim, the previous Robin before Damian took over.

Talia: yes. we’ve… met.

Bruce, sensing tension: ?

Jason, fully aware and grinning widely: do you call him step-daddy?

Tim: fucks sake Jason he just tried to make me his wife that one time, i was never actually WITH Ra’s.

Damian, amused: it is fascinating that for a short period my mother almost became my technical niece, though.

Talia: Damian.

Tim: i hate this family

Jason: really? because this is the first time i’ve ever been actively excited to be here

the original 2015 graphic novel is more insane than the movie cuz like

exhibit A: nimona expresses liking pizza and ballister at first refuses her asking to order in because the delivery to his mindfuck nowhere lair is expensive . later, when an accident happens and nimona gets upset, he remembers that she liked pizza and offers to order in . if that isnt dad behavior idk what that is (im fatherless)

The Original 2015 Graphic Novel Is More Insane Than The Movie Cuz Like
The Original 2015 Graphic Novel Is More Insane Than The Movie Cuz Like

exhibit B :

they went to a science expo slash carnival . they went undercover . a stand seller mistakes them for a father & son and they just... went with it . he carries nimona around . what the fuck man

The Original 2015 Graphic Novel Is More Insane Than The Movie Cuz Like
The Original 2015 Graphic Novel Is More Insane Than The Movie Cuz Like
The Original 2015 Graphic Novel Is More Insane Than The Movie Cuz Like

exhibit C :

ballister freaks the FUCK out when she gets injured way more than he did in the movie and then proceeds to play board games with her to cheer her up

The Original 2015 Graphic Novel Is More Insane Than The Movie Cuz Like
The Original 2015 Graphic Novel Is More Insane Than The Movie Cuz Like
The Original 2015 Graphic Novel Is More Insane Than The Movie Cuz Like
The Original 2015 Graphic Novel Is More Insane Than The Movie Cuz Like

oops hit tumblr picture limit i will continue my dad ballister propaganda in the reblogs

The Original 2015 Graphic Novel Is More Insane Than The Movie Cuz Like
Dark Matter By @mysterycyclone And Art By @spidey-art 🖤
Dark Matter By @mysterycyclone And Art By @spidey-art 🖤
Dark Matter By @mysterycyclone And Art By @spidey-art 🖤
Dark Matter By @mysterycyclone And Art By @spidey-art 🖤
Dark Matter By @mysterycyclone And Art By @spidey-art 🖤
Dark Matter By @mysterycyclone And Art By @spidey-art 🖤

Dark Matter by @mysterycyclone and art by @spidey-art 🖤

she’s finally finished!! this has been in the works for like nine months now, but i wanted only the best so she truly feels like my baby after all the time and work that went into it.

i wish i could have found a way to include more of the gotham/batfamily side of things in this since thats literally the premise, but honestly i have so many batman binds peter deserves a bind all to himself 🖤

this is one of my all time favorite fics ever and i knew as soon as i read it that i would have to make a bind worthy of it and i’m pretty happy with it! i actually scraped my entire original design that i came up with back in like january when the last chapter came out because i realized it just wasn’t the direction i wanted to go with it. so when i couldn’t find anything that really matched what i had in mind for the chapter number designs and headers i drew my own. please be kind, abstract goop is not my usual style lol

anyways! everyone should read this and check out @spidey-art ‘s art because it’s beautiful and they were so kind as to let me use it for this bind!!!

DO NOT BUY OR SELL FANFICTION! please respect fandom and the authors and learn bookbinding or ask a friend who binds! this was entirely handmade and not for sale!

Some NPMD motifs I really like

Show Me Your Hands playing anytime the cops are onstage it cracks me up

Cup of Roasted Coffee playing during the Beanies scene

and then the opening notes of Inevitable playing when Paul tries to talk to the cop lmao

OBVIOUSLY the "I'm not a loser" notes but one instance of it that I haven't seen much about is during the big note of Just For Once where you can hear the notes in the background (it's hard to focus on because of Lauren's gorgeous voice but now that I've noticed it I want to cry a little every time I hear it)

the Nightmare Time motif but especially when it plays right before Grace wakes up from a nightmare

WE WILL BUILD A PORTAL JUST FOR- right after wiggly's "hello frendy wends" with all the lights and everything UGH unparalleled moment

Happy Birthday To AO3 🎂🎉

Happy birthday to AO3 🎂🎉

There’s A Lot Going On In That Little Critter’s Head Right Now.

There’s a lot going on in that little critter’s head right now.

“Do you like girls?”

“I don’t know.”

“Do you like boys?”

“I don’t know. I think I like TV shows.”

I remember when I was in middle school all the other girls were talking about the guys they liked and I said I didn’t like anyone. I just wanted to do my own thing.

I didn’t really get why I would want to date anyone. I understood friendship, companionship— having someone to share my interests and mutually info dump to sounded cool— but I struggled to understand the appeal of spending every day and every night with someone else. Of holding hands and going on dates. 

This led to a lot of homophobic bullying and a few of them would act disgusted that I might be into them. Constantly acting like I was looking at their boobs and sexualizing them (I never made eye contact with anyone and would frequently look at the wall or space out while looking in their general direction). Or make a big show of not being interested and many other things.

I didn’t get this either. I didn’t know why I would be interested in any of them. They treated me poorly and I thought attraction was something people made up and simply just claimed to feel towards other people.

Just like I never understood celebrity crushes. You don’t know the person so how could you possibly know you liked them? And I never understood how people “chose” who they dated. Did they just choose whoever they liked hanging out with the most?

But any time I voiced this it was always met with worse and worse reactions. It led to isolation among peers and my family. My parents made it pretty clear I wasn’t who they wanted me to be. That I wasn’t normal.

I soon learned to fake it. Pretend I understood it.

The idea of not being attracted to anyone seemed like a foreign idea to most people I met. Even when I branched out and moved away, I met a few people in the lgbt community who couldn’t grasp it either and reacted poorly and it made me feel stupid. Like maybe I wasn’t just screwed up to people who fit in the neat little box society wants you to fit in, but to everyone else as well.

Maybe I was wrong. If it’s an impossibility even in this community that champions diversity and acceptance then can that really be my reality?

I kept trying to force it. To date, but every time I did I always felt that same skin crawling discomfort and it always petered out. It didn’t matter who it was or what gender. It always felt wrong. It was suffocating.

I don’t think there’s a movie that better portrays that all consuming, suffocating stagnation of feeling so out of place– knowing you’re out of place compared to those around you– and in response forcing yourself to fit what other people expect of you than I Saw the TV Glow.

Whenever I think back to growing up or whenever I return home that same feeling this movie is centered around always drenches my experiences.

And even now it’s hard to put into words when I talk to other people what I’ve felt when it comes to this aspect of my life.

That comment from Owen about knowing there’s nothing there when talking about romance and attraction, but being too afraid to look and knowing that his parents know something is wrong with him hit harder than any other scene from a movie I’ve watched this year.

It’s that absence of something that is at the heart of asexuality that makes me always question what I choose to identify as when I have to explain it to someone. Because for the most part my explanation boils down to (in broad oversimplified terms): I’ve never felt attraction, I’m more interested in watching a Spider-Man movie than I’ve ever been into even just the idea of dating, every time I’ve attempted to date it’s been uncomfortable and I’ve actively dodged anything beyond friendship while in the “relationship”.

And when I try to voice that to another person it always feels like those experiences don’t hold water. That’s describing the absence of something. There’s no real proof of the identity.

With being bi or gay or lesbian there’s something you can I don’t know—point to?— that can help you know your identity.

And that’s the fact that you’ve experienced attraction towards one or more people of one or more genders.

It’s defined not by the lack of something but the presence of an experience.

And so every time I try and explain it I end up feeling stupid. Like I just haven’t tried hard enough to find someone compatible. That I need to get back into the proverbial saddle and try again. I always in some way feel ashamed and backtrack as a result.

This is in no way to say that it’s harder or easier to be one identity or the another. Everyone’s experiences are different and everyone experiences are valid. This is just a struggle I’ve found that’s unique to asexuality that many people I’ve talked to have also experienced.

I haven’t felt that part of my experience be seen in media until I saw this movie. Maybe I’m latching onto what I can get or maybe that was an intrinsic part of the movie. That’s not important. What’s important is that it’s something I felt seen in even if it was literally just one scene.

This is my really long winded and roundabout way of saying that I really think this movie is going to stick with me much longer than any other thing I’ve seen this year.

Things can be hard to put into words and as a result I tend to keep things inside. I’m fairly certain I’m ace but it might turn out I’m on a different romantic spectrum then I thought or I fall somewhere different than I thought on the ace spectrum. I don’t know what I’ll discover in the future.

I’m likely not going to express my label out loud to anyone but a select few. I still can’t express this particular label out loud to many people. My family is definitely never going to hear it. A friend or two might.

It’s something I struggle with on a regular basis. I’m fine with identifying with the label in my head—in a lot of ways it makes me feel comfortable and happy— but any time I try to voice it the words die in my throat and I can’t help but feel ashamed. It’s easier to just tell people I don’t want to date right now. That there are all these factors in the way (finances, time, jobs, etc) than it is to try and explain what I’ve just rambled about above.

I know many people have felt and understood that experience and I hope people know they’re valid. You can express your identity with your full chest, shout it from the rooftops and let people know, or you can keep it to yourself, identifying as your label solely in your head. Both experiences are valid. And if your label changes at some point in your life that doesn’t make what you chose to identify as at this point any less valid too. People are always learning and growing. You can gain a new understanding of yourself as time move forward.

Sorry for the way too long ramble. This movie made me feel things.

I actually always thought the old man was trans and thought the line was 'when I wore a young women's clothes' instead of younger man's and fully belived this for years until I looked at the lyrics and was disappointed

you know who’s gay? paul the real estate novelist who never had time for a wife and davey who’s still in the navy and probably will be for life


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idontknowwhatsgoingonhelp - angst_is_the_best
angst_is_the_best

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