YES!*

The Croaker's Revenge

The Croaker will be present at Dashcon 2, and will guard the ballpit, after a fashion… but nobody will notice or recognize them. Many cosplayers will attend as the Croaker, but none will be @the-muppet-joker, not even the one in full purple-leisure-suit Joker cosplay, with a Kermit puppet fastened to his fly like a codpiece.

@strange-aeons will be there, in full Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven-Way cosplay, guarding the ballpit and posing for mock battle photos with Brotherhood cosplayers, but nobody will claim to be the actual Muppet Joker. Things will be whispered into Master Strange's ear, but they will mostly be along the line of what a lovely couple she and her wife make. Perhaps Master Strange will lean down to hear one person whisper, "I think he's here," and she will turn around, but she will not be able to tell who she was leaning down to listen to.

The ballpit will be a hit. Not as big as the raccoon talk given by @raccoonmilf, but the organizers, @dashcon-two, knew that if they were going to have a ballpit, they'd have to go big and make it as nice as possible, and the party supply company will deliver the perfect thing. Among other activities, getting selfies with Homestuck cosplayers reenacting their time in the original Dashcon ballpit will be popular.

Nobody will urinate in the ballpit.

Nobody will think very hard about how the laconic, sullen young person in a polo shirt and work slacks, who set up the ballpit alone and unassisted, had bright green hair.

Nobody will think very hard about how this green-haired young person spent every day of the convention posted up against a wall in view of the ballpit, scrolling on their phone, not interacting with anyone.

Nobody will realize until after the con, that the party supply company did not contract to set the ballpit up for the organizers, or to provide a maintenance person for it.

Nobody at the party supply company will care, when the Dashcon 2 organizers tell them that whoever initially signed for the ballpit wasn't event staff. Nor will they have any idea who actually did sign for it.

After the con, everyone will assume that the young green-haired nonbinary person, who set up the ballpit and spent the entire con leaning on the wall in view of it, scrolling on their phone, will pack up the ballpit and load it into the party supply company's truck, but in fact, the ballpit will still be standing, quite abandoned, and the green-haired one will have vanished without a trace. Eventually, the organizers will find badge details matching the green-haired one in their records: a standard visitor pass with no special privileges, under the name of "John Smith."

After the con, over the next few weeks, the repercussions will start to become apparent. Bit by bit, the Croaker's devious, twisted, insane, magnificent, hilarious plan will come to fruition before the eyes of an astonished and terrified Tumblr community, and the Croaker will have revenge upon all of us.

@whyisthereacentaur Goat alert

a tender heart

My spicy take on Studio Ghibli movies: Joe Hisaishi's jazzy piano solos are jarringly incongruous to the movies' fantastical tone and vibe, and they're also a little tacky.

It's easy to be "original" when there are no rules, no exceptions. But, under those circumstances, it's difficult to be interesting.

Oh, crap, I can't get away from this prescriptivist asshole, there's nothing beyond the wall but water

Nerf that Ring of Flight by making it the ring itself that flies, while wearing it, you can move the ring through the air in any direction at will. How the character manages to keep the ring on their finger, and their finger on their hand, is the player's problem.

Olivia's -- and Nix's -- incredulity as she discovers one by one the various shenanigans Open and Shut got up to in Season 1 is a beautiful thing... I am going to miss her reactions at the end of this arc! I hope the next guest player gets similarly surprised...

As a matter of fact...

A well-known fixture of the Arcanokinetics department of the College of Arcana at the University of Celestial Secrets is a stuffed plush rabbit, of the kind colloquially called a "bunny friend," the Haradine cultural equivalent of a Teddy bear.

It sits - or rather, slumps - on a plinth in the middle of the main lecture hall, and is used as a demonstration and practice target for spells. Many, many spells. It is patched and fraying and threadbare and stained, and has a small embroidered College of Arcana emblem sewn to its chest where a Reader would have his badge. All and sundry call it "M'lord Bun," and address it and refer to it as if it were a fiefholding lord and member of the faculty.

M'lord Bun is occasionally repaired or reverted, from his many misadventures, by members of the Temporal department of the College. Only very rarely is he mended in the mundane fashion by skilled service staff.

The Lord Bun legend has grown over the centuries, to the point, in the 5th age, which the various funerals and "retirements" of unrecoverable Lord Buns are important historical landmarks in College lore, and M'lord Bun is now a senior member of the faculty, and officiates over certain ceremonies (notably the Japery in mid-March), and often joins the Deans in their viewing box or at high table for special occasions. A chain of office is nowadays embroidered around M'lord Bun's fluffy neck.

It is not strictly true that the Wizard Brismeister was given a Dire Notice of Censure for beheading Lord Bun in year 197 of the Fourth Age. The stated reason was, in fact, for "failing to maintain the decorum required of his position." Brismeister never again read arcanokinesis, or any other subject, at the University, despite remaining a Senior Reader of Arcana, and he resigned from his post in 201. His eponymized Whirling Blade spell, although adopted immediately at Sloeberries, was not taught at Celestial until 210.

Upon Lord Bun's magical beheading, the students in attendance declared him dead on the spot, and petitioned the Master to appoint a new Lord. That was the origin of the current M'lord Bun, who has greeted the arrival of the so-called Fifth Age with characteristic inscrutability.

Less magic schools. More magic universities. Unlearn the simplified models of your secondary education. Discover how to reference scrolls written by a wizard possessed by a different wizard. Identify bias in the voices that whisper from beyond the veil. Have your institution be accused of promoting a Merlinist agenda. Become addicted to energy potions.

Sveaborg (1844) by Ivan Aivazovsky

Now that we've discovered the First-Ever Complaint Letter, perhaps we will discover other firsts among ancient cuneiform tablets baked in long-long-ago city fires. Like, oh, I don't know... How about the First-Recorded Karen?

"O, Tara-Nuwusu, since your father's death, you are the head of your household, and as such, we, the elders of the town, implore you to curb your venerable mother's behavior. Her sharp tongue and endless demands are an affliction to us all. Day after day, she lurks at the gate of the town, seeking those with whom she may take offense and make undignified scenes. Please, Tara-Nuwusu, [...] diligently, for the sake of your name and lineage, and speak to your mother, and [...] to her that she cannot insist on [?receiving] goods without price, as compensation for ill-treatment she has [?imagined/?alleged], nor may she overturn the stalls of vendors who refuse her demands. O, Tara-Nuwusu, we do not wish to bind and confine your venerable mother, but she daily [...] peace of the city with her behavior, and if you cannot control her, we must regretfully subject you and your family to [?humiliation]."