Xviii. The Anatomy Of A Smile

here's a hot take: how about you actually study instead of watching gilmore girls?

just know that this is completely self-directed thank you very much

iv. something worth saving

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CHAPTER FOUR ─ something worth saving.

❛ and sometimes you act like a dummy just to catch me by surprise ❜

Narrator's Perspective

The sun shone mercilessly upon Yumi and Eunyoung as they made their way through a narrow lane towards the bus stop. It had a stark contrast from the future which they travelled from, in which the biting breath of winter air cast its icicles all over the city. The prickly heat on their skin felt strangely comforting, melting away the coldness of the bitter truth which awaited them in the future.

"Why do you think we've been brought back here?" Yumi questioned, the details of their unforeseen time travel still unclear.

"We were destined to be here," Eunyoung affirmed, "We've been sent with a purpose. I'm going to prevent Sunjae's death while I'm here. Do you remember how he talked about how heartbroken he was when he had to quit swimming because of his shoulder injury? I'm not going to let it happen. I'll ensure he stays happy and healthy."

"You really think you can do it?" Yumi asked doubtfully, "Not to dampen your spirits, but it seems a little far-fetched, don't you think?"

"I'm going to do everything I can to save him," Eunyoung spoke, her voice laced with determination. Her footsteps landed with a quiet authority, and the tap of her shoes against the pavement resounded a steady beat that spoke of determination. This wasn't just a walk; it was a march towards a future she was now determined to claim.

What am I supposed to do then? Yumi pondered as she dragged her feet along the pavement behind Eunyoung, who walked as if she had springs on her feet.

"Slow down!" she called out, "Or you'll trip, fall and die before you can save Sunjae!"

💿

"Go ahead for your piano practice," Eunyoung told Yumi, "I'm interviewing the swimming team today."

"You came up with questions already? That was fast," observed Yumi with a smile, acknowledging Eunyoung's eagerness, "Good luck."

"Thanks," she returned Yumi's smile, "I'll see you at home!"

They parted ways and Eunyoung began her walk towards the swimming pool, feelings of giddy excitement swelling up her heart. She had exchanged a mere sum of about ten words with Sunjae. She couldn't fathom how she would hold an entire conversation with him while keeping it formal and maintaining her professionalism. The rest of the swim team would be there to disperse her attention, the thought of which calmed her racing heart.  

Eunyoung had harboured a burning ambition to delve into the world of journalism for as long as she could remember. It wasn't the glitz and glamour of the public spotlight that enthralled her; rather, she craved a deeper purpose. Eunyoung yearned to be someone who could bridge the gap between the public's curiosity and the inner workings of successful individuals. She envisioned herself utilising her authority as a reporter not to expose hidden truths, but to illuminate the motivations and thought processes that propelled people to the pinnacles of their fields. Her goal wasn't to tear down but to unravel the intricate tapestries woven from ambition, perseverance, and strategic brilliance residing within successful minds.

As she found herself arriving at her destination, she took a deep breath to calm her nerves before pushing open the massive glass doors of the swimming pool. She entered the building to find the swim team eagerly waiting for her, seated on rows of plastic chairs alongside their coach, who stood up to greet her.

"You've arrived right on time! Take a seat," he led her to another plastic chair in front of the swim team. Her gaze swept across the assembled team, dressed in the boys' uniform of Jagam High School, her eyes lingering on Sunjae for a few brief seconds. She tore away in attempt to restrain herself and smiled at them all, "Thank you for meeting me at such short notice. I'll try to make the most of the limited time we have, as I'm sure all of you are busy. Should I begin?"

She waited for their response, and on receiving a murmur of agreement from the boys she began the recording on her MP3 player.

"Okay, first question," Eunyoung started, "As athletes, what differences do you feel between your lifestyle and habits compared to your other classmates?"

💿

When Yumi pushed open the door to her usual piano practice room, her eyes widened in shock as she took a step back to take a good look at the place. It looked as though an elephant parade had been conducted here. Her piano had been pushed to a corner sloppily, and a drumset stood at the back of the room, the drumsticks lying carelessly on the floor. A mic stand had been placed in the centre and an electric guitar had been plugged into one of the sockets. The room looked like a very peculiar crime scene, straight out of an Agatha Christie novel, or like the room of an average teenage boy who was obsessed with boy bands. Yumi couldn't decide which one it resembles more.

She took a few hesitant steps into the room, while the door behind her shut with a soft thud. "What in the world?" she whispered to herself.

She began by moving the mic stand to the back of the room along with the drums, which she decided not to attempt to move. Then she reached for the guitar, trying to pull the plug out of the socket. The stubborn appliance resisted her efforts to unplug it, and Yumi realized it was stuck. As she continued to force the guitar plug, the door behind her opened, and someone's footsteps echoed in the room. She turned around to see who it may be and was startled to find a familiar face staring at her, perplexed.

"What do you think you're doing?" Taesung asked her, tilting his head to one side to look at what she was tampering with, "That guitar's mine."

His eyebrows were raised, expressing his suspicion with a playful glint in his eyes, betraying his interrogative tone.

Yumi, being taken aback took a moment to answer him, "Is it? Then what is it doing in this room? I use this space to practice piano."

"The rooms were occupied so we used it yesterday," he explained, "We're moving the stuff now."

"Hold on," Yumi said, "Who is this ❛we❜ you keep mentioning? Why are you talking in plural?"

"Taesung what's taking you so long?" Inhyuk's voice called out as his footsteps approached this room, "How long does it take to bring─ oh hi," he said, noticing Yumi, "I saw you sitting outside the other day."

"Yeah, I saw you too," Yumi replied.

"She's the piano girl," Taesung told Inhyuk, then turning back to Yumi, he asked, "So what were you up to?"

"I was trying to unplug the guitar but it's stuck," said Yumi in frustration.

Taesung reached for the plug and swiftly pulled it out of the socket. "You need to shake it a little."

"Oh," Yumi didn't know what to respond with, "Do you guys need any help moving your instruments?"

"I think we have it under control, but thanks," he thanked her, flashing a bright smile, "My name's Inhyuk. What's yours?"

"Yumi, Choi Yumi," she answered, smiling politely.

"I'm Kim Taesung, while we're at introductions," Taesung jumped in, "Our band is called Eclipse."

"Yeah I know, you guys become sensations in the future," just as she spoke, everything around her became completely still until she was silent again, wondering what had just happened. She tried to repeat the same sentence but was met with the same result.

Can't I talk about future events? she wondered, making a mental note to discuss this with Eunyoung.

"Cool," she replied to the two boys, feigning nonchalantness. 

"We'll see you around, then," Inhyuk concluded as he exited the room with Taesung, both carrying their instruments.

All Yumi could do was manage a stilted wave, watching them go about their business. An odd hollowness settled in her chest, a strange counterpart to the usual flurry of thoughts that normally occupied her mind. It was as if a record had been scratched, leaving behind an unsettling silence. The world continued its usual hum around her, but Yumi felt strangely detached, adrift in a sea of muted sensations.

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nayoung's notes: i must say, i thoroughly enjoy putting my characters in awkward situations. i can't wait to show you the next chapter >.< hope you liked this one!

delphi's notes: yumi's so silly honestly, she's just like me. i know she's my oc, but the similarities are a little crazy. she's advocating for all the introverts in love because this is how we act around our crushes lmfao.

@the-one-and-only-delphi

next chapter: friday! (out now) list of chapters here!

𝐢𝐢. 𝗇𝖺𝗒𝗈𝗎𝗇𝗀'𝗌 𝗋𝖾𝖺𝖽𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗀𝗎𝗂𝖽𝖾

books to start the new year right!

Atomic Habits- James Clear

Ikigai- Francesc Miralles and Hector Garcia

The Compound Effect- Darren Hardy

The Magic of Thinking Big- David J. Schwartz

Big Magic- Elizabeth Gilbert

The Dip- Seth Godin

Eat That Frog!- Brian Tracy

Surrounded by Idiots- Thomas Erikson

Rich Dad Poor Dad- Robert Kyosaki

The Secret Life of Money- Daniel Davies and Tess Read

goodbye, 2023!

xxx. the memory of you

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CHAPTER THIRTY ─ the memory of you.

❛ i miss the old ways, you didn't have to change, but i guess i don't have a say now that we don't talk ❜

Kim Taesung's Perspective

I felt my heart drop the moment the woman who was supposedly waiting for me turned around. I barely recognized her at first; But my memories of her must have been etched into my brain permanently, because a part of me knew. That it was her. Her long and flowing hair was no more, and the only part of it left hung over her shoulders. As I stood there in front of her, staring, I found myself entranced by her face, just like I had all those years ago. I had seen her for the very first time at the music club, and the incident replayed in front of my eyes as if it took place only yesterday. Our eyes met- ever so briefly, and it was as if fireworks had gone off. Her features still held the same harmony- soft, with a air of gentility, yet they had an inexplicable charisma that captivated me.

I could practically feel my heart pounding in my head. My hand had begun trembling. I continued gazing into her eyes, trying way too hard to avoid the scar on the right side of her face. I practically had to tear my eyes away because my heart and soul ached as if they were being pierced by a thousand needles. There was that same emptiness in her eyes that always perplexed me. It made me so curious. What could she have possibly gone through for her eyes to look so lifeless and miserable. I wanted to know so badly. I wanted to know her better, and I failed to do it every time.

Our eyes met again after some stupid formal dialogue, the sound of which was drowned out by the deafening sound of the frantic beating of my heart. I felt like I was back in my teenage body, staring at her from afar and overthinking the gift she gave me- that I bought over and over again for years. The flush on my face must have been so obvious and for a second I almost felt sorry for my colleague who stood and watched us in confusion. My gaze shifted to her scar again, and I had to look away from her entirely because of the pain I felt in my chest. It was as if someone had ripped my heart out of my body and broken it in a million parts like it was made of glass. 

The truth was that I blamed myself to this day. There was nothing that I regretted more than failing to protect her. In hindsight, I wondered how things would have turned out if I just followed basic safety protocol. What was I thinking? Riding a bike with no helmet? That too with someone I cared about. I would give up anything to go back in time and fix it. Would that have fixed everything?

On my way home, the only thought that occupied me was that despite everything that had happened- the time that had passed, and the very obvious scar on Yumi's face, she was still just as pretty as fifteen years ago. That's the thing that made me feel ridiculous; In front of Choi Yumi, I was just a nineteen year old boy with a stupid crush.

Choi Yumi's Perspective

I sat in my room, staring at the floor, lost in thought. It was insane. I had endless questions that could never be silenced. How had I run into Taesung in this timeline? Why and how did he end up become a police officer...

Then, something inside me clicked

A familiar face flashed in front of me- Gahyun, the crazy bitch obsessed with Taesung. Her screaming voice and her shaking hands pointing to me in accusation appeared in front of me.

"You!" she shrieked. Her hollering voice echoed and rippled through the previously quiet, still hospital halls. The other patients shrunk back, closed their curtains to avoid looking at the scene she was causing and others went to call for help.

"What do you want?" I sighed, "And for god's sake lower your volume."

"You're the reason my Taesung is injured!" she continued yelling, "If it weren't for you, he would be perfectly healthy at home! Now- all thanks to you, he's going to have that hideous scar on his shoulder! Ugh, it's all your fault! How could you be so selfish?!"

A fire began burning inside me that started as a spark then exploded in an instant as I cried out with tears of agony forming in my eyes, "Don't you dare pretend like you know shit! He CHOSE to drop me. In case you haven't noticed, this damn thing on my face is going to be permanent. God, just stay out of it! You don't deserve to come here and yell at ME and cause a scene! Get out!"

My breathing became erratic, and it was as if steam was coming out through my ears. I was furious. Not because she was crushing on the same stupid teenage boy as me. Because of how right she was. If it wasn't for me, Taesung would be okay.

"Yumi, is everything alright?" asked a concerned Eunyoung who had just returned home, looking even more miserable than me.

"I remember everything now," I said, feeling dazed and confused, but at the same time things seemed to make more sense, "Did we really yell in the hospital like that?"

"Oh, yeah," she tried to tell me gently, "Everyone heard."

"God."

I ran a hand down my face, sighing for what must have been the millionth time that day, "What's up with you?" I asked, trying to change the subject.

"Don't even ask," she responded, sighing, "Sunjae's death was suicide."

I suddenly sat up straight, my ears perking up. The word seemed to crash right on my head as my chest began feeling tight. I never spoke about it, but my mother's death haunted me to this day. She couldn't endure the abuse from my father and ended her own life. I was too young to understand it when it happened, but it dawned on me now. The thought that I was not very different, that I would turn out the same made me cower in fear every time I thought about it.

I pulled Eunyoung into an embrace, and I could feel her surprise to my impulsive action. "I'm sorry," I whispered. The room was then filled with the sound of our breathing and the soft banging of the snow against the window.

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nana's notes: wonyoung's face card in the header tho-

delphi's notes: taesung having a whole melancholic monologue is everything.

next chapter: friday (out now!) list of chapters here!

i had scheduled this april 19th but it got posted early?!!

﹒ʬʬ , all's fair in love & poetry

xxxiii. the ticking clock

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CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE ─ the ticking clock.

❛ watch your breeze take over me just like we used to be ❜

Narrator's Perspective

Sunjae waited outside the swimming pool, fidgeting with his hands rather impatiently. The events that had taken place just a few moments prior played in his head over and over again. His entire body was soaking wet, and his shirt stuck to his body. Normally, he would have been freezing, dying to get home and change. He felt a breeze, but the thought of Eunyoung seemed to keep him warm. 

He remembered how much he once hated the rain. How his clothes stuck to his body like a really annoying magnet. How the rain irritated him after a long day at the pool. But one fine day, all of that changed. A beautiful girl with smiling lips and intoxicating laughter had run through the moonlit alleyways with him, holding his hand and dragging him along.

She completely mesmerized him. Not only was she the most beautiful girl he had ever laid eyes on, but he never felt a connection with anyone like he did with Eunyoung. He might have been overreacting, but it almost felt as if he had found his other half. They fit together like pieces of a puzzle. It was just right. She always seemed to know the right words to speak at the right time. How could such a perfect person be real?

Just then, Eunyoung emerged through the swimming pool door wearing his blazer, and even then, she looked as pretty as ever. The oversized piece of clothing hid her hands in the sleeves and the jacket looked evidently too big for her. She still looked cute in it, though. 

"Thanks for letting me borrow this," she thanked him with a sweet smile, "Are you sure you're alright? The wind is going crazy today."

"No, it's alright," he assured her, returning a smile, "You can keep it."

They began walking to the bus stop. Eunyoung's eyes kept wandering everywhere, scanning the road she had taken every day of her teenage life. If she was completely honest with herself, she was freaking out inside. She was wearing Ryu Sunjae's clothes. The fact seemed so surreal to her and in that moment, for a while, she felt like a stereotypical teenage girl with a crush on a popular guy.

As they reached the bus stop, all she could think of was Sunjae sitting near the pool and sobbing his heart out. The pictures of news articles flashed in front of her eyes. "Ryu Sunjae's cause of death: Suicide?" "Ryu Sunjae proved to be taking anti-depressants prior to his death" She looked up at Sunjae. He had no idea what fate had in store for him, and she wanted to protect him more than anything.

💿

As they sat on the bus, side by side, Eunyoung found herself reaching for Sunjae's ice cold hand. The action startled Sunjae as he jumped a bit, a bright red blush appearing on his face. "Are you feeling alright?" she asked, her voice laced with worry and her eyebrows furrowed.

"I'm fine, really," he said, turning away to hide his flushed face, "I don't feel that cold, really."

"Your hands are literally freezing," countered Eunyoung, "But that's not what I was asking about. Earlier, at the pool... what happened?"

"Oh," he muttered, "I- it's stupid."

"No, it's not. Tell me, Sunjae."

The way she said his name just made him melt, "I got a bad grade... and I realized that without swimming, I don't even know what I'm doing with my life, and it really stressed me out."

"It's alright," she whispered, squeezing his hand gently, "It's okay to feel lost. One bad grade isn't the end of the world, trust me. It doesn't matter nearly as much as you think it does."

"It was a really bad grade, Eunyoung."

"Really?" she challenged. The determination in her eyes, and her grip on his hand both seemed to be hypnotizing him. She asked him, "How much did you get?"

"Ten out of forty. In math."

Her grip loosened for a moment as she stared at him, trying to process the information.

"See, it is bad," he slowly pulled away his hand because if he stayed that way any longer, he might have exploded right there.

"No," she tried to comfort him, but the insincerity was evident in her tone, "Look you need practice, that's all."

"It's no use, I'm stupid," he insisted, "I don't understand anything, and I'm always dozing off in class."

"I'll teach you," warmth crept up Eunyoung's face as she realized what she just said. There was no going back now. The thought of spending so much time with him made her feel giddy. Sunjae's eyes widened as he tried to process what she just said.

"You want to tutor me?" he confirmed, to which she nodded, "Are you sure you can handle it?"

"Sunjae, listen," she turned in her seat to face him, "You had to give up your dream. It's going to be hard to get on track with something else. You're really brave, you know. Not everyone can do what you're doing right now. I want to help you."

"Okay," he breathed.

Then they exchanged smiles, and their eyes communicated feelings that words could have never described.

💿

"Oh dear, look at you," Yumi gasped as she watched Eunyoung, drenched from head to toe, enter their house, with a grin plastered on her face and Sunjae's jacket draped over her shoulders, "Was there a thunderstorm I didn't hear of?"

"It's a long story."

"I have time," countered Yumi with determination, "And that idiotic smile on your face tells me it has something to do with a certain someone."

"You're right," Eunyoung said, still smiling, her face glowing pink, "So I was going to visit Sunjae-"

"Of course you were."

"Let me speak, for god's sake," Eunyoung insisted, the smile never leaving her face, "And I met Inhyuk, who told me he went to the swimming pool 'cause he forgot something. So, I went there, and he was sitting by the pool and sobbing. I tried to comfort him, and it worked- I think. Then, we heard a really loud crashing sound outside and we fell into the pool. It was the scariest thing ever, honestly."

"That's so cute, it's like you guys are in a rom-com," Yumi said with a slight bitterness in her voice.

"Then why does your face look like someone squeezed a lemon in your mouth?" questioned Eunyoung, "Did something happen?"

"I went to the music club today-"

"Of course you did."

Yumi sighed, "Let me finish? So I went, and I waited outside for about a thousand years. I swear it felt like I was growing old standing there. By the time I had lost all sensation in my legs, I saw Taesung petting that kitten- you know which one, and I don't know... the moment I saw him, my mind went blank, and I couldn't speak properly. He looked so miserable... and I wanted to apologize but the words just wouldn't come out."

"I would hug you but then you would be drenched too," said Eunyoung, her smile turning into one of sympathy, "It means you like him. Things will be okay, Yumi. Maybe not now, but eventually."

I don't want to wait, Yumi silently thought to herself.

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nana's notes: i really love the headers where the characters are looking at each other <3

delphi's notes: patience? who's she? yumi doesn't know her...

next chapter: saturday (out now) list of chapters here!

xxvi. all roads lead to rome

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CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX ─ between notes and secrets.

❛ there's many different ways you can kill someone you love the slowest way is not loving them enough ❜

Narrator's Perspective

The doors closed with a thud after one final passenger got on and the bus drove away into the darkness of the early summer morning. The sky was littered with little grey clouds, casting a shadow over the city. 

"It's going to rain today," Yumi observed.

"Yeah," Eunyoung gazed out the window with beady eyes, a smile tugging at her lips.

"Why do you react like that every time someone mentions rain? You're such a weirdo," Yumi scoffed.

"It rained the first time I met Sunjae," she said, still smiling.

"So what?" Yumi spat, "Big deal."

"It is to me."

"Shut up. Where is he anyways?"

"He usually sleeps in these days since he isn't on the swim team anymore," Eunyoung stated, "He takes the later bus."

"Oh god, where's the off button?" Yumi pretended to gag, "You're making me sick, stop it. I need a subject change, gosh. Why were you and Mom so solemn at dinner yesterday? I thought someone died."

Eunyoung's eyes darkened, bearing an eerie likeliness to the overcast sky.  Her smile fell and she looked away from Yumi because the answer to her question was probably written all over her face.

"Oh no, did someone actually-"

"No!"

"Thank god," Yumi sighed in relief, "You scared me for a second."

"It was nothing," Eunyoung said in answer to her previous question, "I was just tired, I don't know about Mom."

"If you say so."

"How 'bout you? Where are you mysteriously disappearing these days?"

Yumi swallowed. It was her turn to look away to hide her face that had "guilty conscious" written all over it, "Extra practice at the club," she answered curtly, "Didn't I tell you?"

"You did."

"Yeah, so that's it. Nothing mysterious. Just boring old piano practice."

"If you say so."

💿

Choi Eunyoung's Perspective

How did I end up here? I wondered, staring out of the bus window. It was nearly half past four, and I should have been home, studying—or at least doing something productive. Maybe it was the fact that I hadn't cracked open a textbook in nearly fifteen years, but I just couldn't muster the motivation to do so. Instead, I found myself deciding to visit Yumi.

The bus screeched to a halt, and I snapped my head around to see the doors swing open. I sprang from my seat and stepped off the bus, right in front of the Jagam High music club. Confusion furrowed my brow as I took a few hesitant steps toward the building, then stopped in my tracks. I rubbed my eyes, hoping I was mistaken, but the scene before me was unmistakable.

There, in plain view, was Yumi climbing onto Kim Taesung's motorcycle. The shock must have paralyzed me, because all I could do was stand there, agape, as they sped away, leaving a cloud of smoke in their wake. It took a moment for reality to sink in, but once it did, I snapped into action. 

I began to run.

💿

I must have really been out of my senses to run after a flipping motorcycle, because, by the time I reached what appeared to be Kim Taesung's front door, I stood at a turning where I was sure they couldn't see me, gasping for breath. Honestly, it was a miracle I didn't lose them. God knows how I was able to keep up; It must have been my determination to find out because there's no way I could have done it otherwise.

I leaned against a nearby wall, heaving and breathless. It took me a while to calm myself down, and in the meanwhile, I could hear his front door close and their muffled conversation. To be fair, there was no reason for me to be hiding like this as if I were committing some kind of crime. Yumi's the one who's been lying. To me. And to mom. Yet, she's going about deceiving me in broad daylight, with no shame whatsoever and I'm hiding behind a wall, trying not to get caught.

The tapping of my shoes against the pavement sounded in the empty street. I let out a long sigh. Behind my anger and frustration, I felt hurt. Hurt that Yumi felt the need to lie. No matter what happened, we had always shared everything with each other. Now, there was this secret between us.

"I would never hide anything from her," I muttered under my breath.

What could she possibly be doing with him that she couldn't even confide in me? My pace quickened as I moved towards Kim Taesung's house, anxiety rising in my chest. I practically zoomed past the outer safety door that was left ajar and stumbled onto the veranda and moved towards the front door. I rang the doorbell and waited impatiently, letting out another sigh.

After a few seconds, I racked my knuckles on the wooden door, the sense of urgency evident in my actions. I heard the doorknob rattle as Yumi opened the door. Her frown slowly morphed into a look of absolute shock and guilt. Her eyes instantly widened and she tried to stutter an excuse but it was no use, "Eun...uh.. I, the thing-"

"Save it," I snapped.

She turned to grab her bag from a nearby chair. I scoffed, mostly to myself as I turned to leave. I heard her call out, "I gotta go!" I heard some words of confusion mumbled by Taesung, but my mind was clouded by rage and betrayal. I couldn't comprehend what he said.

Yumi grabbed my wrist, stopping me as I turned around, frowning at her face.

"Eunyoung, please don't do-"

"Don't do what, exactly?!" I yelled, my voice laced with anger, "Yumi, I don't even know what to say to you right now. What is wrong with you?"

"Why are you mad?" she countered irritably.

"Why am I mad?" I repeated, letting out a strangled chuckle at the irony of her question, "I'll tell you why! You're running off to this guy's house I don't know how often a week, and lie to your family. This guy is the spitting image of a delinquent and he has trouble written all over his face. I hope that answers your question."

"I really don't get it, Eunyoung," she screamed, sighing after a few moments, "I don't get why you're interfering like this. It's my life, and let me screw it up! Why're you getting worked up over nothing?"

"Because I'm trying to protect you!"

"Look, everything I do is my choice. So, if I get hurt, it's on me! Just stay out of it, for God's sake, Eunyoung!" she screamed, "You're not even my real sister, so why does it matter?"

Her words pierced through my heart and all my anger melted away in a moment. The frown fell from my face and I felt a lump in my throat.  I took a step back watching Yumi realise the gravity of her words. They seemed to prick and burn my skin. My lip trembled as I stuttered out, "Fine."

I broke into a run onto the pavement as I faintly heard Yumi's voice call out to me in the distance, but I didn't look back. My vision blurred as tears streamed down my face.

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nana's notes: ouch, yumi, that stings.

delphi's notes: oh eunyoung, only if you understood.

list of chapters here! click here for next chapter.

inconvenience regretted 😞

(+📜)    dear reader ,

when you aim at the devil 𓈒 𓇼ㅤׂ make sure you don't miss.

like the moodboard? it's a teaser for an upcoming fanfic! make sure u follow me and stay tuned! thank you, bye!! <33

xlviii. hopeless

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CHAPTER FORTY-EIGHT ─ hopeless.

❛ i just woke up from a dream where you and i had to say goodbye ❜

Narrator's Perspective

"Sunjae," Inhyuk said to him while they were packing up, ready to leave.

(note- in this fic, both inhyuk and taesung attend yeonseo university with yumi and eunyoung -n.)

Sunjae, jumped a little and turned to look at him. He was still thinking of the kiss from the previous night, and his heart still fluttered as he remembered each and every detail...

"What?"

"I need to tell you something important," he began, looking suspicious.

Sunjae raised an eyebrow at him, "What is it?"

"Remember last night? I was helping you look for your shirt that got lost?" 

"And then I found you snoozing in your bed later?" reminded Sunjae with a spiteful yet playful scowl, "Yeah, I remember that."

"Sorry about that," Inhyuk said briefly, "But I have a reason."

"Is that so?"

"Yes," he replied, "When we got separated, I...  went looking for you, and well... I saw you. I saw you and Eunyoung near the stage."

Sunjae's eyes went wide, "How much did you see?"

"Enough."

There was an awkward silence between the boys that lasted for a few seconds. A blush of embarrassment rose up Sunjae's cheeks. "So... you know?"

"Yeah," Inhyuk replied, "I swear, when I saw the two of you I was so in shock that at first I couldn't move. Then I decided it would be best to get out of there."

Sunjae looked down and mumbled, "Yeah, that was probably wise."

Inhyuk couldn't help but laugh at his friend acting like a completely different person from the Sunjae he had always known. He elbowed him in the ribs and teased, "So~ things are going to start heating up for you now, huh?"

"Stop it," Sunjae said, turning away to hide his face that was a smiling, blushing mess.

As they made their way out of the tent, dragging their luggage along, they ran right into Eunyoung and Yumi, who were going to where the crowd of students gathered. Everyone let out expressions of surprise and murmured their greetings. Eunyoung's expression was unnaturally grave and serious when she looked at Sunjae and said, "Can we talk for a minute?"

Sunjae tried his hardest to suppress his smile when he answered, "Sure."

Following Eunyoung's rather hurried pace, Sunjae followed her to a clearing where no one was there to eavesdrop. She suddenly came to a halt and turned to look at him. Sunjae couldn't decipher her expression. It was a mix of irritation and shame and it made no sense to him.

"What's wrong?" he questioned with furrowed brows.

"I wanted to say sorry about last night," she started off. Sunjae's eyes widened. The truth was that it hurt every part of her being to tell him this, because she wanted to believe so badly that the events of the previous day meant something. But Eunyoung felt far too guilty about Sunjae's death to let herself think that. "I was really drunk last night and I did something so impulsive. It must have been uncomfortable for you, so I wanted to apologize. I'm really sorry, Sunjae. I hope you can pretend that it never happened."

With every word that Eunyoung spoke, he felt his heart twist and break into a million pieces before his eyes. His throat felt choked and the chilly mountain air started to slowly suffocate him. His entire body felt the shock on hearing her tell him it was all a mistake. His brain cursed at him for thinking someone as beautiful and perfect as Eunyoung could ever see him in that way. His feet felt rooted in the ground as he stood before Eunyoung, not daring to utter a single word.

After she had finished speaking, he stared at her face for a few moments quietly. Her hair framed her face, cascading down her shoulders in such a casual and effortless manner that took Sunjae's breath away. He gave himself a moment to think about how unfair it was that she looked like a fallen angel despite being hungover.

"If that's what you want," he murmured out, looking down at the ground to hide his teary eyes. He heard her footsteps as she walked away, the sound fading away into the distance as the tears cascaded down his face, not making a sound.

💿

"You're not sitting with your boyfriend?" Eunyoung asked Yumi who took the seat next to her on the train, "Or fake boyfriend, I should say."

"Keep your voice down," Yumi hissed, checking to see if anyone had heard her, "I haven't spoken to him since last night. I don't have the energy to deal with this right now."

Eunyoung let out a deep sigh, "Why have our love lives suddenly become so complicated?"

"It's all so overwhelming," Yumi nodded in agreement, "But you're acting so stupid. Why did you tell him to forget about it? Don't you like him?"

"I do, but-"

"Then, there! You have it!" Yumi exclaimed, "You like him, so what's the problem?"

"He never said he liked me back!" Eunyoung emphasized.

"Does he have to?" Yumi asked, feeling irritated at her ignorance, "Have you seriously never noticed how he looks at you? Like you're his whole world?"

"I can't let myself believe that," Eunyoung lowered her gaze, fixing her eyes at the blue carpeting below her feet, "The truck driver in Sunjae's accident was my dad."

"Oh," Yumi shrunk back. She reached for Eunyoung's hand, "Eunyoung..."

"It's my fault," she said, feeling her eyes well up with tears, "I was given the chance to protect him and I couldn't do it. I don't deserve him. I'd rather die in his place."

"You can still save him."

"What if I can't?"

☾⋆｡𖦹 °✩⋆｡° ✮

nana's notes: depressing chapter ._.

delphi's notes: just eunyoung proving that love is deaf, dumb and blind

previous chapter next chapter: friday (out now!) list of chapters here!

iii. opportunities

☾⋆｡𖦹 °✩⋆｡° ✮

CHAPTER THREE ─ opportunities.

❛ but this is getting good now, he's so tall and handsome as hell ❜

Narrator's Perspective

The final bell pierced the air, a sharp clang that shattered the focused hum of the classroom. A collective sigh rippled through the students, a wave of relief washing over them after a day of lessons, tests, and social navigation. Papers rustled as they're shoved into backpacks, textbooks slammed shut with finality.

A teacher who Eunyoung recognized as the head of the school newspaper approached her as she and Yumi made their way to the gate.

"Eunyoung! I'm so glad I caught you!" she sighed in relief, "There's an article that we need done urgently for next week. It involves interviewing the swimming team regarding the upcoming tournament. I understand you're swarmed in other schoolwork too, but could you cover it this one time? The boy who was supposed to write it is down with chicken pox, and won't be able to complete it."

"Sure Ma'am, it's no hassle," Eunyoung agreed with a smile, her heart swelling up with happiness, "I'll submit it by next week."

"Thank you so much!"

As the teacher left, Yumi stared at Eunyoung with a teasing smile. "I don't remember this happening before."

"This article was given to someone else because I declined it," Eunyoung answered, smiling, "I was never one for sports."

"You're getting used to this era pretty well, I see," the teasing smile was still plastered on Yumi's face.

"I hope you remember that you have piano practice at the music club today," Eunyoung attempted to change the topic.

"I remember it very well," Yumi answered, noticing the shift as well as her sister's flushed face, "Enjoy writing your article," she winked and skipped away.

Eunyoung, a smile playing on her lips, strolled leisurely towards the bus stop. The familiar path triggered a wave of deja vu, a feeling that mirrored her experience earlier that day. It was as if she were walking this very route not for the first time today, but for the hundredth, a memory from fifteen years ago inexplicably resurfacing.

Reaching the bus stop, she was met with the usual chaos - a throng of students jostling for a spot on the overflowing bus. But amidst the sea of uniforms, a single figure caught her eye. There, like a beacon cutting through the crowd, stood Sunjae. His beauty was undeniable - flawless features that seemed sculpted by the gods, and a mess of fluffy hair that cascaded down his forehead. He was a picture of youthful perfection, a vision that both startled and soothed her. 

So, this is the bus he takes... She thought to herself, the fact that she takes the same one slipping her mind completely.

💿

Yumi dragged her feet along the pavement, making her way to the school music club to practice piano. Learning the piano was never something she wanted to do, but continued passively as she loathed the idea of quitting in the middle of learning. She remembers ceasing to practice after law school, which meant she hadn't touched a piano for nearly fifteen years. She couldn't recall her dislike for it, but reckoned that those old emotions would come crashing back to her the second she sat down on her piano stool.

Upon reaching the looming building, she was unable to take any steps inside, but simply gaped at it in silence. It was a place she kept revisiting, every single day, no matter what. Coming to practice consistently was something her younger self had never challenged, but now as she viewed life from a different lens, that had been weathered by adversities, she began to question if there was any meaning in these recurring religious visits.

Drawing up the courage from an unknown source within her, she entered the building with a blank, bored face. Sitting down at the waiting area outside the various practice rooms, she dug out her music sheets from her backpack, attempting at familiarizing herself with them after being parted for dog ages. 

Then suddenly, a cry of agitation diverted her focus to the source of the sound. 

"Yah! Kim Taesung! I can't believe you're late again!" Inhyuk scolded the boy.

Yumi turned her head the other way to find out who he was looking at. Her eyes fell upon a messy-looking boy- seemingly from her school, wearing just a white shirt with no tie and a bright red biker jacket. His hair fell loosely on his face, ruffled by the wind. He had a cat-like face and a cheeky demeanour as he smiled sheepishly at Inhyuk, "Let me go this time, I really got stuck in traffic."

"What bullshit," Inhyuk countered, "It doesn't even take 10 minutes to walk from school to here. Quit dilly-dallying and get your act together."

Taesung scoffed and murmured another apology.

Just then, a strong gust of wind blew through the open door, and the music sheets on which Yumi's grip had loosened while staring at the unknown boy, scattered across the floor. Both Inhyuk and Taesung lunged to grab them in time before they could fly away while Yumi closed the door. Taesung gathered the sheets from the ground and from Inhyuk and handed them to her.

"Here," he said. Yumi looked up at his eyes creased with a smile. All she could do was stare at his face blankly.

Why am I behaving like this?

"Thank you," she mumbled and took the sheets and made a run for the piano room.

"How odd..." Taesung muttered under his breath.

💿

"So, what, you just stared at his face?" Eunyoung questioned after Yumi narrated the events of that day.

"I said thank you after," Yumi corrected, unsure of what to feel.

"How polite," Eunyoung said thoughtfully, "What about Inhyuk, did you talk to him?"

"What do you think?" Yumi retorted, "I need a reason to talk to him."

"I guess," she answered, "What about the other guy? You think he knows Sunjae?"

"I don't know," Yumi confessed, "Guess I'll have to find out."

☾⋆｡𖦹 °✩⋆｡° ✮

nayoung's notes: taesung cat agenda is going to continue throughout this book btw. hope you enjoyed reading this! 

delphi's notes: let's go taesung debut! the best thing is that yumi just freezes when she sees him lmfao. she's so real for that.

@the-one-and-only-delphi

next chapter: saturday! (out now) list of chapters here!