Xxxvi. Those Eyes

( +📽️ ) ͏ ͏ ͏͏ oh say it ditto . . . ͏ ͏ ͏͏ ͏@nayoungs-archive

𓇼 𝑵ayoung, she/her, main!

nayoung's writing!

TOWARDS YOU ── lovely runner. ➡️ (on hiatus till april 4th)

xlii. piercing through my soul

☾⋆｡𖦹 °✩⋆｡° ✮

CHAPTER FORTY-TWO ─ piercing through my soul.

❛ i wanna hold you just for a while

and die with a smile ❜

Choi Eunyoung's Perspective

The chatter and buzz in the interview room rekindled after the cameraman's "Cut!" People switching off all the extra studio lights, packing up their things and chatting with each other. The tense atmosphere that previously hung over the room while the filming was ongoing was replaced with a new friendliness and lightheartedness. Words of encouragement and several people saying "Good job!" seemed to raise everyone's spirits. 

I heaved a quiet sigh the moment the cameras were out. During the interview, I felt as if I had been holding my breath the whole time. Never in my career of doing interviews for famous, influential personalities had I ever felt so nervous. At the same time, I knew I was obviously holding myself back. Every cell in my body wanted to drop all formalities and throw my arms around him and tell him how glad I was to see him. 

His experience writing 'Sonaki' was something that pricked me from inside. His words constantly echoed inside my mind. He met her on a rainy day. It was dangerously similar to how I met Sunjae. A part of me- the hopeful part, wanted to believe desperately that it was me. Despite wanting to hold onto the hope, an anxious and worried voice inside me told me not to get excited over it. It was too good to be true. Him writing a poetic masterpiece about his first love who was none other than me? It sounded impossible. I was also afraid. Afraid of being wrong after thinking it was about me. At the end of the day, I'm nothing more than his fan. And to him, all he's going to remember me is as a distant memory from his teenage years.

I gave in to all my temptations as I stole a glance at Sunjae, sitting across from me rummaging through his bag and talking about something or the other with his manager. I nearly smiled seeing his relaxed posture and radiant glow. Something about him had changed in the best way possible. He looked happy, and that was enough for my heart to be content. For a split second, our eyes met and I tore away forcefully and unnaturally, probably making a fool out of myself. It was too much. Seeing him again uprooted so many repressed feelings.

Soon, he was telling his manager to go on without him and saying that he would be out soon. Watching his manager leave the room, I found myself thinking- Am I really going to be here alone with him? It hadn't even been that long since I'd last seen him, yet my heart pounded in my ears like a thousand drums.

"Hey," he began once he was sure everyone was gone. I nearly jumped out of my skin hearing his voice, "It's been a while, huh? How've you been?"

"Hi," I answered with a small smile. So he remembers me... "Yeah, it's been ages. I've been good. How 'bout you? How's everything?"

"Good, you know. Life's full of surprises," he answered, smiling.

"That's nice to know; You...look... good- like you've been well," I stuttered like an idiot, "This is awkward, isn't it?"

"Yeah," he agreed, sounding disappointed, "It's been too long, I guess."

"Yeah."

An uncomfortable silence filled the air as we both looked here and there, thinking hard about what to say next. It seemed like both of us had a hundred thoughts racing through our minds, but no words nor courage to express them.

"You don't have any like... illness or anything lately, do you?" I asked slowly, afraid of the answer.

"No, not at all," he answered, sounding confused.

"I read some of the articles you wrote," he said after a few more moments of silence.

"About Eclipse?" I asked, sounding a bit too eager.

"Yeah," he replied, fidgeting with his clothes, "And other things. Your writing's as good as ever."

"Thanks," I cracked a real smile, "Should we go? Your manager must be waiting."

"Yeah."

We made our way through the door and into the elevator. I had never realized that our building elevator had no mirror. Or music. I stared at the ground, soaking in all the silence between us. The awkwardness sent a chill down my spine. I wanted to do something. I wanted to tell him that I missed him. But that would make things even more awkward and I would die of embarrassment.

Gosh, were elevator rides here always so insufferable?

The elevator finally stopped at the ground floor after what felt like a million years, and we exited the building, still completely quiet. Standing on the pavement looking onto the highway, I looked up at Sunjae, who was already looking. My face felt hot as I forgot what I was about to say.

"So this is it?" he said with a hint of sadness in his voice.

"We should keep in touch this time," I blurted out too quickly. Why was I so jittery? "You can get my number from your manager."

"Yeah, let's do that," he said with a smile, finally showing his beautiful dimples. I returned his smile, feeling my heart swell up at the very sight of a happy Sunjae.

"My manager's car is over there across the street," he said, looking at the black car parked on the other side of the road, "I'll see you?"

"You will," I said with conviction, the smile never leaving my face.

I watched as the made his way across the zebra crossing, going further away, but in that moment, he felt the closest that evening. The soft glow of the streetlamp and the dim starlight seemed to give me a glimmer of hope. That this was the beginning of something new. Something special. Then, as if to throw water over all my happiness, I loud crashing sounded, like a huge truck suddenly stopping. My eyes went wide as my body seemed to freeze from shock. I felt my blood go cold.

Time seemed to splinter into fragments, each one more agonizing than the last, as I watched the massive, green truck barrel forward, unstoppable. There was a horrid screeching of brakes, but it was too late—the impact was thunderous, like the world cracking open right before my eyes. Sunjae's body collided with the force of the vehicle, a sickening blur of motion as he was thrown to the ground, his form limp and unmoving.

A piercing cry escaped my throat, one I barely recognized as my own. My chest constricted, an unbearable ache tearing through me as if the impact had shattered not only him but every part of me, too. For a brief, surreal moment, I couldn't move; I was paralyzed, bound by the horror of what I'd just witnessed, by the helplessness sinking like iron into my bones.

I stumbled forward, heart hammering wildly, tears blurring my vision as I rushed toward him. "Sunjae!" I cried, my voice trembling, desperate. My knees hit the ground beside him, the unforgiving pavement scraping through the fabric of my jeans, but I barely registered the sting. All I could see was his stillness, his face pale and serene in a way that frightened me more than any amount of pain ever could.

A sob broke free, raw and guttural, as I reached for his hand, cold and heavy in mine. Memories flooded my mind—his laughter, his warmth, the look in his eyes when he talked about the future, a future I suddenly couldn't see. It was slipping from me, unraveling like sand through my fingers, and I was powerless to stop it. The sight of him lying there, broken, filled me with a heartbreak so deep I felt hollowed out from within. I could feel my heart shattering, piece by piece, each shard lodging painfully within me.

"Please...please, Sunjae," I whispered, voice breaking as I clutched his hand, unable to stop my tears. The world had collapsed around us, reduced to this one horrible moment, to the unbearable thought of losing him.

☾⋆｡𖦹 °✩⋆｡° ✮

nana's notes: sunjae's death breaks me in every timeline.

delphi's notes: here we go again.

next chapter: friday (out now!) list of chapters here!

lvi. on and off-stage drama

☾⋆｡𖦹 °✩⋆｡° ✮

CHAPTER FIFTY-SIX ─ on and off-stage drama.

❛ i swear i don't love the drama, it loves me ❜

Choi Eunyoung's Perspective

"What?!" I breathed out, "Inhyuk's going back to his village? Taesung and Jay are quitting Eclipse? What- what do you mean by that?"

"Exactly," Sunjae nodded remorsefully, "They're saying that they'll finish this festival performance one last time and then quit. But Inhyuk's already left. He's staying with his parents in his village."

It felt as if my entire world was falling apart. I couldn't let this happen. I was supposed to change the future for the better, not create a bigger mess. I had to fix this, by whatever means necessary. 

"Well, we gotta stop this," I said decisively, "Let's talk to Taesung after rehearsal."

"It's a plan," Sunjae said, smiling. His face twisted into an expression of shock when he looked at his watch, "Oh! We're ten minutes late!"

Narrator's Perspective

"What language is this, even?" Yumi exclaimed looking at the script, "Thou lovs't me not with the full weight that I love thee? This nutjob has written the entire play like this! How did I even pass the audition?"

The other students who were part of the cast sat and watched the 'couple' in adoration instead of revising their scripts. They whispered and giggled uncontrollably, much to Yumi's irritation. Taesung, however, was not-so-secretly enjoying it. He was basking in the attention, and the fact that people thought he and Yumi were a real couple made his heart swell with joy.

"You'll do fine," he placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder. His touch still made sparks dance across her skin. He leaned towards her face and gave her a smile, "We've got plenty of time, hmm?"

"What's your role anyways?" Yumi asked, looking anywhere but at his face.

"Oliver," he answered, not shifting his gaze.

Yumi began furiously flipping through the pages of the script. All of a sudden, she gasped, "Seriously?"

"What?" Taesung asked, sitting next to her, peering into the script.

"Oliver and Celia get married at the end?" she scoffed, but her flushed face said otherwise, "On the basis of what? I swear Shakespeare was on crack each time he picked up his pen."

"How could you say such a thing about him?" Eunyoung said. She had just gotten there along with Sunjae, "Why hasn't rehearsal started yet?"

"Well, the director suddenly fell sick so the writers told us to revise on our own for today," Taesung explained.

"Oh, we ran here for no reason," Sunjae said, chuckling while shooting a knowing glance at Eunyoung. Eunyoung smiled back, "I know right?"

"Ooooh, damn are you two a thing now?" asked one of the girls sitting close to them, eavesdropping.

"How 'bout you mind your own business?" Yumi sneered with hostility.

"How am I supposed to ignore it when they're flirting right in front of me?"

"Maybe you need a lesson on personal space?" Yumi said, taking a step away from her. 

The girl rolled her eyes, then picked up her things and walked off, muttering under her breath.

"You seem to be in a mood today," Eunyoung observed.

"You can thank Shakespeare for that," Yumi replied.

"I don't know why you hate a man who died several centuries ago," Eunyoung uttered.

"I don't know why you like a man who died several centuries ago," Yumi countered.

"I don't like the man, I just thing his work had a timeless element to it."

"And so here we are."

"Okay, okay, stop the bickering," Taesung said waving his hand between them.

"We're not bickering," Yumi shrugged.

"That's just how we get along," Eunyoung agreed, giving Yumi a small smile.

"As long as there's no bloodshed, I'm good," Taesung said.

"How's the prep for the Eclipse performance going?" Yumi asked eagerly. Her question was followed by a long, awkward silence. Taesung stared at Sunjae, Sunjae glanced at Eunyoung, and Eunyoung looked at Yumi nervously.

"I guess you don't know," Sunjae said as gently as he could, "Inhyuk left for his village, because he wanted to help his parents out... He's also planning on dropping out."

"What?!" Yumi exclaimed. Heads turned to see what the commotion was about. She stood, completely stunned for few seconds, "What's going to happen to your band?" She shot a worried look at Eunyoung, as if to say What is happening? Is this our fault?

"Taesung, didn't you-" Eunyoung gestured him not to mention it, shaking her head as subtly as she could. She didn't want to give Taesung and Yumi a reason to argue again. Sunjae covered up his blunder, "Didn't you say you were going to call him?"

"Um... yeah I was," said Taesung, glad that they hadn't mentioned to Yumi that he was going to leave the band, "He didn't pick up."

"So, Sunjae and I were thinking," Eunyoung began, "That we go and visit his village and bring him back to his senses. What do you think?"

"I'm in," Taesung said, looking at Yumi, his eyes full of expectation.

"What if we can't convince him?"

"Oh, you pessimist," Eunyoung groaned, "If he doesn't agree voluntarily, then we'll kidnap him, okay? Are you in or not?"

"I'm in," she said, realizing she wasn't left with much of a choice.

"Good," said Sunjae, "We leave tomorrow?"

"Yeah," said everyone in unison.

There were a few minutes of silence as they all went back to reading their scripts. A moment later, Eunyoung looked up, "Hey, Taesung?"

"Hmm?"

"I had to ask you about that..." she trailed off.

Taesung frowned with confusion, but the realization hit him soon enough and she said, "Oh,  right. Of course," he said, getting up, "We'll be back."

Yumi and Sunjae watched them get up and go outside the auditorium.

"That was weird," Yumi said, furrowing her brows.

"Breathe if you're jealous."

💿

"Any updates?" she asked Taesung, "About my dad? Was the information I gave conclusive enough?"

"Yeah, they've started the investigation," he answered, "My dad said that considering his history, he'll most likely get a life sentence. He wanted me to ask if it's okay with you."

"Yes, absolutely," Eunyoung said decisively. 

Taesung blinked a few times, "Okay, if that's what you want."

"It is."

☾⋆｡𖦹 °✩⋆｡° ✮

nana's notes: bet u didn't see that one coming

delphi's notes: yumi and sunjae are such an awkward duo lmfao 

xxxvii. home is where the heart is

☾⋆｡𖦹 °✩⋆｡° ✮

CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN ─ home is where the heart is.

❛ i know it's always about me, i love you, i'm sorry ❜

Choi Eunyoung's Perspective

Every cell in my body seemed to be screaming at me to run. To go back home. But, somehow I felt like my feet were rooted to the ground as I stood in the deserted playground. A tall streetlight peered over the area, which was the only source of illumination on that moonless night. The stars had disappeared from the sky, as if to express their disapproval at my irrational decision. I wasn't able to control myself. I had let my curiosity get the better of me, and I had showed up at the spot my father decided would be our meeting spot.

I wanted to believe so badly that he had changed. That he was trying to set things right. There was a part of me that wanted to meet him and tell him that I missed him. And that if he wanted to come back, I would let him. I wanted to believe that I was worthy, and maybe I could finally have a proper family in the stereotypical way. I had spent my entire life watching kids get treated with love and care by their fathers, and not once had I experienced such a bond.

Then, I spotted him. His face had weathered and become worn due to time, but it was undoubtedly him. Chiseled, sharp features with curly, messy hair that hung around his eyes. His previously clean shaven face had now grown a beard. He flashed a smile, approaching me and siting down on the bench next where I was standing.

"You've grown up so well," he whispered.

The pride in his voice made my heart swell with a strange kind of warmth. "Mom did a good job, huh?"

"That, she did," he agreed, the weary smile on his face never ceasing. It was then that I noticed the bags under his eyes.

"You seem tired," I observed, worried.

"It's nothing," he said rather abruptly. The smile suddenly fell from his face and his blinking gaze wandered, pretending to scan their surroundings. I found his sudden shift in behavior quite strange, and a confused frown formed on my face. He turned to me again, but didn't look in my eyes.

"Eunyoung, actually," He began, rubbing his hands against each other, thinking of what to say.

"What is it?"

"I have a favor to ask you," he mumbled out, but Eunyoung heard his voice sound loud and clear, ringing in her ears, "I'm actually in a lot of debt right now. I can barely afford my rent, and everything is falling apart. If you could just talk to your mother and convince her-"

"Stop!" I cried out, my voice shaking with rage and disappointment. My eyes burned with tears and I had to gather all my strength to speak, "Just- just, shut up. I should have known. Why else would you come back? Have you ever stopped to think how much damage you caused? You can't just waltz back into our life and expect that we'll welcome you with open arms. I was the idiot to believe anything you said. Just, get lost, I swear!"

"But Eunyoung, we're family?"

"Family?" I repeated, my voice trembling, as tears began spilling out of my eyes, "You don't get to call me or mom your family. You lost that privilege the moment you packed your bags and left home."

He opened his mouth to spit out another pathetic excuse, but I had finally had enough. I bolted out of there, mustering all the willingness inside me to get away from him. The tears spilled out uncontrollably, blurring my vision as my legs propelled me forward in the direction of home.

 💿

Even as I reached Sunjae's dad's restaurant, I couldn't stop crying. All my hopes had been shattered by my father's careless words and demeanor. I heaved another heavy sob, that choked up my throat and made my heart ache with uncontrollable sorrow. 

Instead of going home, I went the opposite way, stopping near a wall where I was sure no one I know could find me. My knees feeling suddenly weak and wobbly, I sat down right on the pavement and buried my head in my knees. I felt my tears soak my pants but none of that mattered then. My weeping sounded too loud in the deserted alleyway as I started to feel physical pain too. I couldn't believe I had been naive enough to fall into such a trap. Even after my mother warned me...

"Eunyoung?" the oh-so-familiar voice sent a jolt through my body as I raised my head slowly, trying to make sure I heard correctly. I was right. There I was, face to face with a concerned Sunjae looking at me with furrowed brows and glassy eyes full of worry and confusion. I suddenly felt embarrassed; Ashamed that he had to see me like this- falling apart. I stood up hastily, trying to hide my face and blink away my tears.

"Sunjae..." Another sob choked me as the words refused to roll off my tongue. He seemed to understand in that moment. Slowly, he moved towards me and reached out his hand to pull me by the waist into his warm embrace. My tears nearly evaporated as heat crept up my face. My head rested gently on his shoulder as I soaked up all the comfort he gave me. His grip around my waist tightened as I felt his hand caress my head.

Sunjae seemed to have this superpower whenever he was around. All my worries would warp and dissolve into nothingness and my heart would instantly lighten. Every little touch sent sparks flying across my skin, making me feel giddy but at the same time compelling me to give in. Around him, I wasn't afraid to be vulnerable. My trust for him was like an instinct I couldn't fight no matter how much I tried. That was probably why, before I could comprehend what was happening, the moment his caring voice asked, "What's wrong?" I poured my heart out, never letting go of him.

The whole time I spilled my greatest worries out to him, he never let go of my heart. His firm yet gentle grip offered solace I didn't believe anyone could give. 

"Seeing someone as optimistic and cheerful as you cry is heartbreaking, Eunyoung. He doesn't deserve your tears. Focus your energy on those you love. And on those who love you."

☾⋆｡𖦹 °✩⋆｡° ✮

nana's notes: the way sunjae basically said i love you-

delphi's notes: everyone deserves a sunjae in their lives

next chapter: saturday (out now!) list of chapters here!

.˳⁺ ♱ i feel like i might sink and drown and die. . . (+☠️)

like the moodboard? it's a teaser for an upcoming fanfic! make sure u follow me and stay tuned! thank you, bye!! <33

( +🥐 ) ｡˚ ִ⋆｡˚ like we were in paris . . . >_&lt; @the-one-and-only-delphi

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY FAVORITE DAZAI KINNIE

edit: LMAOOO IN ALL THE EXCITEMENT I FORGOT THAT IT'S DAZAI'S BDAY TOO ASJKSHFA HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO DAZAI LOL

i don't think @the-one-and-only-delphi being a dazai kinnie gets any realer than her sharing a birthday with him lmao what a flex

☾⋆｡𖦹 °✩⋆｡° ✮

CHAPTER FIFTY-THREE ─ expect the unexpected.

❛ and it feels like the start of a movie i've seen before, but you're not here ❜

Ryu Sunjae's Perspective

I practically ran down the stairs, my heartbeat drumming on inside my chest as I felt a new kind of giddy excitement to meet Eunyoung. I had always felt incredibly happy at the thought of her, but this was different. With all that had happened yesterday, it felt like all the puzzle pieces fit perfectly and we were together at last. Everything in my life seemed to lead me here, to Eunyoung.

To my disappointment, on descending the last stair, instead of seeing Eunyoung's smiling face greet me, I saw her sister, Yumi waiting impatiently. Before I could speak, she turned around suddenly, making me jump a little. She was glaring at me with a kind of resentment and disgust that made me feel sick. I took a step back, cowering before her.

"You know, I wanted to be happy about you and Eunyoung," she said menacingly, "But now I'm thinking that you're all kinds of trouble."

"What did I do?" I asked, furrowing my brows in confusion.

"Last night, you guys must have had your rom-com moment in the rain," she started, "But now Eunyoung is lying in bed with a 100 degree fever."

"What?!" I yelled way too loudly, my eyes widening and my heartbeat quickening, "Eunyoung is sick?!" It made me mad. Guilt seemed to be gnawing at my heart as I realized it was my fault. Before I could get a response from Yumi, whose rage had been replaced by surprise at my exaggerated reaction, I began running to Eunyoung's front door.

"I wouldn't go in if I were you," Yumi said. I stopped in my tracks. She continued, "Mom's been up all night taking care of her and her opinion of you is not exactly favorable."

Narrator's Perspective

By the time Sunjae and Yumi had reached school, there was a strange awkwardness between them since Eunyoung wasn't there to play the mutual friend. But when Yumi considered the situation in her mind and concluded that it would be a lot worse if Eunyoung had been with them, because then it would have been Yumi third wheeling with a couple who was so obnoxiously sweet she would have vomited. So, she sat there with Sunjae, feeling grateful for the awkward air that had settled between them.

"So, are you in the school play?" Sunjae asked her out of politeness. He had begun to get a little restless because of the silence. He had imagined his bus ride to college a lot differently. He thought it would be romantic with Eunyoung next to him. But instead he was forced to deal with Yumi; He knew by instinct that she was just tolerating him because of Eunyoung, and honestly he felt the same way.

"No, I'm not," she said without looking at him, "I don't even want to get into all this festival nonsense. I'm the last person to do a thing like a school play. And they chose a Shakespeare play? Forget it."

You ask a simple question... Sunjae sighed internally, "I just thought you would audition- you know, since your boyfriend is in the play."

I guess Eunyoung hasn't told him... This made Yumi feel a little at peace; The fact that Eunyoung was guarding her secret well was a comforting thought.

"Do I seem like the kind of person to humiliate myself on stage because my boyfriend i decided to do it?" she asked formidably.

"I guess not," Sunjae said, giving up on making pleasantries, "I gotta go anyways." He practically ran away from her.

💿

The auditorium was filled with playful banter and friendly conversations. The cast of the Shakespearean play As You Like It that had been casted so far were gathered there for the very first practice. The actors crowded the stage, discussing their roles and reading their scripts. The director and writers responsible for translating the play into Korean occupied a table with various sheets of paper stacked and a microphone to maintain some order.

"Excuse me ! Everybody! May I have your attention please?" asked the girl who was given the role of director. The chaos settled down, slowly but surely, "Thank you. Is everybody here? Or is someone missing?"

"Eunyoung isn't here," Sunjae answered promptly. His comment was followed with some girls eyeing him and whispering among themselves.

"Oh my gosh!"

"Do they like each other or what?"

"I swear there's something going on since the field trip!"

Sunjae wondered if he was being too obvious but chose to ignore the gossip.

"What's her character?" asked the director, looking down at her list of participants.

"Rosalind," he answered. He could hear more whispers.

"Rosalind?!" she repeated, taken aback, "Our Rosalind is absent? Why on earth would she miss the first rehearsal?"

"Uh, she's down with fever!" Sunjae told her, "Pretty bad, actually- hundred degrees. Her sister told me." He ignored the giggling that followed his rather enthusiastic answer.

"Oh, dear," said the director a little calmer than before, "Well, tell her to take care, then. And tell her that absenteeism will not be tolerated except for health related reasons. I'll let her off the hook this one time."

Sunjae heaved a sigh of relief. The writer sitting next to the director whispered something in her ear. Her eyes went wide, "She's one of the writers too? That is... unfortunate."

"Could you be any more obvious?" Taesung sneered.

"Shut up," he snapped, "At least she's in the play."

"Ouch," Taesung said defensively, "Damn, Sunjae didn't think you were stingy like that."

"By the way," began the director, addressing Sunjae, "What's your character?"

"Orlando," he answered plainly.

"Good," the director smiled. The students began hooting and screaming with excitement.

"Okay, settle down," said the writer. He took the microphone from the director, "We don't have an actress for the role of Celia. Does anyone have any suggestions? Anybody wishing to audition?"

A lightbulb suddenly lit up in Taesung's head, "I know someone who could play the role."

"Do they have a name?"

"Uh, yes," he answered, the palms of his hands feeling sweaty, "Choi Yumi from the Practical Music Department." Once again, people began ooh-ing and ahh-ing. 

"Bring her to rehearsal tomorrow to audition," said the writer in a matter-of-fact tone. Taesung smiled ever so slightly. Now he would get to spend some time with her...

"Okay, so since we don't have Rosalind or Celia, we can start with act one, scene one..."

☾⋆｡𖦹 °✩⋆｡° ✮

nana's notes: yumi is literally ready to fight sunjae

delphi's notes: don't mess with yumi

xxiii. whispers in the dark

☾⋆｡𖦹 °✩⋆｡° ✮

CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE ─ whispers in the dark.

❛ and i should get a ciggarette for so much restraint ❜

Kim Taesung's Perspective

For a few moments after Yumi left, I found myself staring blankly at the door. I too was shocked at the fact that I offered to teach her guitar. Did I have that much restraint? And that too, at my house? I couldn't stop thinking of her and it drove me nuts. Tonight, she looked stunning. She had always been pretty, but today? She took my breath away. Her hair framed her face in a way that seemed so effortless, like a masterpiece painted with the dim light bulbs that lit up my living room.

I couldn't shake off the conversation that I had with Inhyuk in the kitchen. He said Yumi was the one who planned everything, and then slapped my shoulder playfully. Was it really the case? Or was he just teasing me? I had so many questioned swirling around my head, and I couldn't make sense of any of them.

I suddenly remembered that she got me a gift. It really wasn't a big deal, I tried to tell myself. Everyone got me gifts. But desire to see what she got me devoured me whole and I found myself inching towards the dark blue paper bag that sat on the table, which seemed to be calling out to me, waiting to be opened.

I sensed some hesitation as my hand reached inside it, pulling out a box—that seemed rather heavy for its size. My heart pounded in my ears as my fingers brushed against the smooth, velvety surface. A chill ran down my spine as my eyes landed on the label.

It was a perfume.

The delicate glass bottle shimmered in the dim light, its contents a mystery waiting to be unveiled. A wave of emotions crashed over me—surprise, confusion, and a strange sense of anticipation. How did she know? Had she been paying attention to my preferences, or was this a random act of kindness?

With a shaking hand, I lifted the box lid, revealing a delicate glass bottle. It was a simple rectangular bottle, yet its cold surface sent shivers down my spine. A clear blue liquid swirled within it. My hand reached for the bottle cap, unscrewing it with a newfound gentleness in my hands. I lifted the bottle up to my nose, inhaling the scent.

Unlike anything I'd expected, the fragrance was a captivating paradox. Woody notes, reminiscent of sun-warmed cedarwood, formed the base, grounding the scent with a sense of strength and earthiness. But then, a wave of unexpected freshness washed over it. A hint of salt air hit my nose, and I could practically feel the ocean breeze. It was the scent of a tropical beach after summer rain, where the heat had coaxed out the earthy aromas of the forest floor while leaving the air fresh and alive.

What does this mean?

Choi Eunyoung's Perspective

My mom had come into my room about half an hour ago, bidding me good night. I too, had tucked myself into my warm, comfy bed, when the realization that Yumi wasn't home hit me like a speeding truck on an expressway. An uneasy feeling washed over me, as all my drowsiness was drowned out by worry and concern. Ever since then, I've been sitting on the kitchen platform, staring out the little square window that looked down on the street.

I remember the day I first met Yumi. It was one of my most vivid memories as a child when my age was just a single digit. I don't remember a lot of things from when I was that little but that day was fresh in my mind as if it happened yesterday. I had heard a loud wailing sound from the sand pit in the park and found Yumi crying because all the other kids had sand toys except her. I remember chuckling and offering my toys, telling her to stop crying. I never knew that she would become such a significant part of my life.

When Yumi had been working at the law firm, I watched the spark slowly disappear from her eyes each evening she reached home. The vibrant young woman I knew was slowly fading away, slipping from my reach, replaced by a weary stranger burdened by unseen woes. My heart ached for her, but my attempts to reach out were met with a wall of silence. Whenever I brought up the subject of her job, a guarded look would cloud her features, and the conversation would hit a dead end. It was as if her feelings were locked in a vault, and she'd thrown away the key.

That's why, when I spotted her- practically skipping down the street, my lips stretched into a huge grin. I hadn't seen her smile like that in ages. It was as if someone had flipped a switch within her, igniting a forgotten light that had been buried beneath the weight of her burdens. The world, usually cast in a dull, dreary filter, seemed to come alive again. Even the streetlights, normally harsh and flickering, seemed to dim in reverence, their feeble glow overshadowed by the radiance emanating from Yumi.

Instead of letting myself ponder on the reasons for her newfound joy, I let myself appreciate the happiness radiating off her. Though we weren't related by blood, our bond was as strong as that of real sisters. I wanted her to keep smiling like that for the rest of time. 

As I heard her footsteps making their way to the front door, I leaped off the platform and bolted to my room, switching off the lights in a frenzy. I stumbled on my way, not being able to differentiate a lamp from a clothing rack thanks to the fact that I was sitting like a ghost in the darkness. Aside from the fact that I would have knocked the living daylight out of her, it would have been pretty difficult to explain why I was awake at that ungodly hour. I lay in my bed- that somehow felt warmer than before, and let myself fall into a slumber as the smile never left my lips.

☾⋆｡𖦹 °✩⋆｡° ✮

nana's notes: the header turned out so cute (*^_^*)

delphi's notes: taesung entering his loser era

next chapter: saturday list of chapters here!

xix. on my mind

☾⋆｡𖦹 °✩⋆｡° ✮

CHAPTER NINETEEN ─  on my mind.

❛ in losing grip on sinking ships, you showed up just in time. ❜

Choi Yumi's Perspective

The metal benches in the music club waiting area felt cool against my legs which swung back and forth leisurely. It occurred to me that I probably looked extremely suspicious sitting there idly, looking here and there, as if I was waiting for someone. If I was completely honest to myself, I would have said that I wanted to see Taesung one more time. It was stupid, but it was true. I'd found it impossible to keep his kitty cat face out of my head, and I hadn't seen him in a few days. However, I'd rather tear apart my limbs and use them for making furniture than admit that I was interested in a teenage boy. So, I sat there, telling myself that the cool breeze that entered through the main entrance felt nice and there was nothing to do at home.

My head turned way faster than it should have when I heard one of the doors open. To my dismay, it was Inhyuk. And all the band members. Except Taesung. It was as if the universe was playing tricks on me. I failed to fight the urge, and asked Inhyuk, "Hey! Do you have any idea where Taesung is? I haven't seen him in a few days."

"Oh! He's sick, actually," he informed me, "Why do you ask?"

"Oh... umm..." I stuttered, "I wanted to uhh... talk to him... about... something."

"He should be back soon," said Inhyuk thoughtfully, "It's a shame he's got sick just before his birthday."

His words struck me like lightning in a thunderstorm, "His birthday? When's that?" I asked before I could stop myself.

"It's on the coming Sunday," Inhyuk answered, and I could have sworn there was a mischievous glint in his eyes, "I feel like we should plan something for him. His mom lives overseas, and his dad is a cop, so he's always busy."

"We should," it was too late until I realized my choice of words, "I mean you! You should..."

Inhyuk smirked, "You can help if you like! You guys are friends, right?"

"I guess so," I mumbled, feeling my face getting warmer. I may have looked normal at that moment, but my heart was ready to leap out of my chest and run a half marathon.

Choi Eunyoung's Perspective

The summer heat pricked my skin, relieved by the occasional breeze. I sat at the bus stop with my head hung, as if I looked up at the Sun for even a second, I would have lost my eyesight, which I valued far too much. I must have looked like a ghost, for I was so absorbed by my own thoughts that they drowned out the chatter of other students around me.

Sunjae occupied every corner of my mind, a relentless tide washing away thoughts of anything else. Even after my daily visits, a gnawing worry remained. Was the brave facade he presented a mask for a deeper pain? Witnessing his struggle fueled an anger within me, an anger directed at the cruel twist of fate that had stolen his dream.

But beneath the anger, a different emotion swirled – a confusing tangle that defied definition. Was it simple admiration for his talent? Fanatic devotion for the singer? Or was it something more? The thought itself sent a shiver down my spine.

I couldn't dare to contemplate any further. Trapped in this strange era, with no clue when – or even if – I'd return to my own time, the future stretched before me like a blurry landscape. Each stolen moment with Sunjae felt like a step closer to a precipice, a place where the joy of connection might be shattered by the inevitable goodbye. Fear rose inside my chest from time to time- if I gave in to these feelings, would I ever be able to look away?

Breaking my train of thought, a finger tapped on my shoulder. I looked up slowly, my eyes widening at the face that stared at me with a mischievous smirk. Eyes that glimmered in the Sun and smiling lips that sent my heart racing. "Sunjae! What are you doing here!"

"I'm here to surprise you," he said, taking a seat beside me, flashing the dimple on his right cheek. He was dressed in a simple white t-shirt and black jeans. As I noticed the sling wrapped around his injured shoulder, I felt my heart sink. "You're happy to see me, I hope?"

"Of course I am!" I exclaimed, beaming. How could I not be? "Are you even allowed to be roaming around like this? Weren't you supposed to be discharged this Friday?"

"The doctor said I didn't need to stay in the hospital any longer," he informed me. A wave of relief washed over me.Sunjae's face broke into a wide grin, the first genuine happiness I'd seen since his surgery. His smile, like sunlight breaking through the clouds, made my stomach do a little flip.

"I'm so glad!" I said to him, the smile never leaving my face, "I bet you were tried of seeing those white walls everyday. There's no place like home, am I right?"

Ryu Sunjae's Perspective

She had no idea that she was, in fact, home to him. A constant pillar of support in his darkest hour. Admist the uncertainties of his career, she stood by him unfailingly, offering priceless advice and a shoulder to cry on. "You're right. I'm glad to be back home." I answered, thinking to myself, "By your side, that is."

"Your dad must be thrilled, right? she beamed.

"Sure, he is," even mention of my father's apparent elation couldn't dim my spirits as I continued smiling at her, mostly in admiration of her unreal beauty.

"Oh! I almost forgot!" she uttered suddenly, "I got something for you!" My eyebrows shot up, "What?! How come?!"

"It's just a little gift," Eunyoung told me, "Something to cheer you up after your days in the hospital."

Narrator's Perspective

Sunjae sat silently in the living room of Eunyoung's house with his hands placed awkwardly on his lap. His eyes scanned the place absent-mindedly as he waited for Eunyoung to emerge from her room. The atmosphere was extremely still and silent. A stack of magazines and newspapers sat on the little coffee table in the centre of the room alongside the couch. The curtains were drawn, and the only sources of light were two tall lamps on either corner of the sofa.  It was almost as if no one had been living there.

To anyone else, it might have seemed slightly spooky; But all Sunjae could think of was their stolen moment after he got taken to the hospital during swim practice. About two weeks had passed since it happened, but to him, the memory was crystal clear, as if it happened the previous day. A warmth crept up his cheeks at the thought. A part of him felt embarrassed and stupid. Was he really going to kiss her? Did that make him look brazen to her? He had successfully convinced himself that he imagined it, but he could have sworn that she leaned in too.

"I found it!" Eunyoung's voice put a full stop to Sunjae's flashback as he pulled himself back to the present. She held a blue cap in her hand. It was an ordinary cap to anyone else, but she had picked it out with great thoughtfulness. "Blue was the colour of the umbrella that you gave me the day we met. I wanted it to be something meaningful." A shy smile and a soft pink blush surfaced on her face.

Sunjae could feel his entire body burning up. He felt as if he had been glued to the couch. He didn't want to lead himself on and let himself misinterpret her actions. How could someone so dazzling have the slightest interest in him? Yet, the smallest glimmer of hope bloomed in his heart. Maybe, just maybe...

"It's incredible," he breathed out. The words barely made it out of his mouth, and he could swear his heart had plans of jumping out of his heart and clinging onto Eunyoung. "I love it... thank you! I can't- I don't know how to thank you, really."

"It's nothing," she brushed off, the blush on her cheeks deepening, "I'm just glad you like it."

☾⋆｡𖦹 °✩⋆｡° ✮

nayoung's notes:eunyoung and sunjae are so cute i can't 🤧✋

delphi's notes: yumi has no idea what she just got herself into.

next chapter: saturday (out now!) list of chapters here!

xvi. my fragile heart

☾⋆｡𖦹 °✩⋆｡° ✮

CHAPTER SIXTEEN ─ my fragile heart.

❛ and i'm highly suspicious that everyone who sees you wants you. ❜

Narrator's Perspective

Yumi and Eunyoung stood on the sidewalk, awaiting the arrival of the bus. It seemed like a regular weekday morning to the naked eye, but there was something about them that seemed odd. Eunyoung's face appeared swollen─ especially her eyes; They had a faint red tint and traces of dried tears lingered on her cheeks.

"I heard you last night," said Yumi quietly, "Crying in your room?"

"You must have misheard," Eunyoung's gaze fixed on the ground, "Because I wasn't crying."

Yumi reached for Eunyoung's hand, gripping it tightly. Her sudden action surprised Eunyoung as she looked up at Yumi. "It's going to be okay," Yumi whispered, letting go of her hand gently.

💿

"Here," Taesung mumbled, his voice barely above a whisper. He thrust his hand towards Yumi, the ice cream carton almost falling from his sweaty grip.

Yumi's brow furrowed in confusion. "What's this?"

"Ice cream," he blurted out, forcing a casual tone that sounded more like a croak. His heart hammered a frantic rhythm against his ribs, a stark contrast to the coolness of the ice cream carton. Every fibre of his being screamed "awkward," yet he persevered.

Yumi's gaze flicked between the proffered carton and his face, a flicker of amusement dancing in her eyes. Hesitantly, she reached out and took the ice cream, her fingers brushing against his briefly. "Thanks," she said, a hint of a smile playing on her lips.

A wave of relief washed over Taesung, so suddenly that it almost left him breathless. "You're welcome," he managed, his voice a little steadier now. He fumbled in his pocket, the crinkling sound echoing in the sudden silence, before pulling out another carton.

Yumi stared at his face unblinkingly as he took a bite of the ice cream. 

"You know, you look like a cat."

Taesung's heart lurched in his chest, a sudden skip that made him catch his breath. Her words echoed in his ears, instantly transporting him back to a conversation just a few days ago. The memory flickered to life─ He asked her if she liked cats, and Yumi's smile, the way her eyes crinkled at the corners, the casualness of her words: "I love them."

At that moment, it had seemed like a harmless comment, a shared interest. But now, with the way she spoke it again, a different meaning seemed to shimmer just beneath the surface. Was it just his imagination, or was there a hint of vulnerability, a subtle invitation in her voice? His pulse quickened, a knot of anticipation tightening in his stomach. Could she be hinting at something more? Or was he reading too much into it all?

Ryu Sunjae's Perspective

"Eunyoung, I like you."

My initial smile on seeing Eunyoung at the bus stop faded away as those words in someone's voice─ not his own, fell upon my ears. My eyebrows shot up in a moment of surprise, feeling an ache in my heart while I anticipated her reply.

Eunyoung stood staring at Jihoon's face in shock, too stunned to speak. "Why aren't you saying anything?" he inquired impatiently. My fists clenched, my fingernails digging into my palms as I resisted his urge to step in and intervene.

"Jihoon─" he interrupted her, "I really like you, Eunyoung. Ever since we first met. Will you be my girlfriend?"

A crowd of students had gathered around them, gasping and hooting at his bold confession while i stood watching them from afar, becoming increasingly irritable by the second. Eunyoung's eyebrows furrowed, "I can't go out with you."

There was a murmur of disappointment from the crowd. "Why not?" Jihoon demanded.

I took a step forward, unable to control myself any longer. However, I found myself stopping in my tracks upon hearing Eunyoung's reply, "Because I don't want to." her tone sounded calm, yet cold and firm.

"I don't get it!"

"Listen!" Eunyoung snapped, taking a menacing step towards Jihoon, "I've told you countless times to keep your distance and stay in your lane. I'm going to say this once and for all─ I would rather gauge my eyes out with a spatula than date you. If you come near me one more time, I'm going to file a restraining order against you, I swear to god!"

A smile surfaced on my face. Jihoon took a step back, his ego hurt by her harsh comments. He scoffed arrogantly, shooing the crowd away as he glared at her angrily.

The bus arrived, hissing to a stop. "I didn't expect this from you," Jihoon grumbled.

"I have to go," she said sharply, stepping onto the bus.

I approached the bus, stealing a quick glance at the boy nearby. With a deliberate nudge of my shoulder against his, I trailed behind Eunyoung as we boarded the bus.

I took a seat next to Eunyoung, who was staring out the window, the annoyance still evident on her face. She whipped around to look at me. Her irritation seemed to melt away on seeing me, the corners of her eyes crinkling and her lips stretching into a smile, "Sunjae!" she exclaimed, "How are you doing? I spoke to Inhyuk yesterday, he said you weren't feeling too well."

"I'm much better now," I assured her, my heart skipping a beat on hearing the worry in her voice, "My dad and I have patched things up, and we discussed a date for the surgery with the doctor."

"That's great to hear," she said, relieved, "When's your surgery? I'll make sure to visit you."

"This Saturday," I answered, feeling my face getting warmer, "It's kind of soon, but the doctor thought it was a good idea."

Her lips stretched into a sympathetic smile and I could feel her sincerity as her gaze softened. 

"Good luck, Sunjae. I'm praying the surgery goes well."

There it was again; The melody of her voice, as soft as the summer breeze, echoing in my mind as soon as the sound hit my ears. I had forgotten how to breathe, mesmerized by the girl in front of me. All she had to do was exist, and I would fall for her a little harder every passing second. I could feel myself beaming from ear to ear, mumbling a thank you that could never express my feelings for her. I suddenly became conscious of my behaviours. Was I being too forward? A fake cough, a terrible attempt at concealing my elation escaped my lips. 

"By the way," I sloppily attempted to change the subject, "Who's that guy who asked you out? Do you know him well?"

"You saw that, huh?" she said, smiling in embarrassment, "Not exactly; He used to follow me around. I told him to back off, but he just wouldn't listen. I kind of exploded at him earlier."

"That was a pretty strong insult," I said, chuckling. My happiness knew no bounds on knowing that she didn't like him. 

"You think I was too harsh?" she asked doubtfully.

"I think you put him in his place," I smiled wider, "What type of guys do you like? Do you not like it when they're clingy?"

"Him being clingy wasn't the issue. He was a total douchebag and flirts with everyone. He wasn't exactly the best person you want to be with," said Eunyoung, then looking up at me, "I think I would like someone who's warm-hearted─ someone who doesn't see me as a status symbol. Someone who makes me feel loved."

Sunjae was lost for words. A tiny glimmer of hope bloomed in his heart─ that maybe, just maybe, he stood a chance.

☾⋆｡𖦹 °✩⋆｡° ✮

nayoung's notes: it's been sixteen chapters and the only one who can accept the fact that they're in love is sunjae lmfao. hope you liked the chapter!

delphi's notes: gauge your eyes out with a spatula is crazyy. pop off ig.

next chapter: friday (out now!) list of chapters here!