LMFAOOO Why Am I Like This? 

Sooo Yesterday I had a very public anxiety attack and yelled at a parking lot full of people....at Walmart out of all places! Sigh...Thank God for his Mercy & Grace because I was INSTANTLY mortified. But at least I can now laugh back at it because honestly that shit was straight out of a tv show. 🤦🏻‍♀️ I never thought I’d ever lose my shit in public. Anywayssss in other news. Today I PERMANENTLY deleted my Instagram. Something that was so weirdly hard for me to do was actually very liberating. I hate anything zuckerberg touches. I used to love IG until Facebook bought it. Scrolling literally pisses me off. So I guess I’m living pretty damn balanced lol. Public BFs one day and purging of social media the next. I’ll be ok...

-Illustratum Paradoxon

I was just thinking about how people have a hard time believing this stuff. Especially believers. If you believe that Jesus did amazing miracles and died on the cross and then ROSE from the dead. (All super natural things.) How is it hard for them to believe the capabilities of the enemy and the supernatural world in that aspect? They don’t want to accept that there is evil? Are they THAT blind? Also Christianity is always being attacked. Jesus is always being ridiculed. That makes it even MORE real to me. That all the focus is on breaking down the Christian belief and TRYING to take what Jesus did for us to be in vain. We have to understand that the Bible is LITERALLY the living word of God! Like my friend and I were saying today, you can be book smart but still a sheep. Being book smart has NOTHING to do with being spiritually awake. Some people just can’t see past the wool. It’s so sad. Some of our very own loved ones. 😔

-Illustratum Paradoxon

2•4•19

I sit here with my past besides me as if it’s another living being that I must feed and nurture, but the more I feed my past the darker my future becomes. The past swallows me whole into a sea of darkness and once again I’m lost. I’ve lost hope rising from the ashes. Rising from the dead. I wish my past had someone else to cater to them. I wish I could sit alone in silence without the whispers of failures in my ear constantly reminding me of the monster that I once was.

Illustratum Paradoxon

*This is what healing looks like, it’s raw and it hurts like hell*

Inner Child Love 💞

- Illustratum Paradoxon

The world right now is an empath's nightmare.

🤦🏻‍♀️ I’m so annoying sometimes. I just wanna get out of my head.

Frequently lol