Okay Seriously. Reblog If You're OLDER Than 11.

Can't stop thinking of the scenario where y/n leaves the Pizzaplex feeling like Sun honestly wanted them gone, and Sun becomes obsessed with finding them and also leads a robot apocalypse. What would happen if y/n caught wind that Sun is looking specifically for them and seeing all that has happened with the robots takes that as "Oh no, I thought he tolerated me but turns out he dislikes me so much he personally wants to get rid of me himself" so they try extra hard to go into hiding out of fear of what will happen if they're captured and taken to him?

ohhh my goddd nonnie u are so big brained!!!!!!! thank u for sending this in bc honestly i have also been thinking about this au for a while LMAO. if i was strong enough i would write a 50k fic spliced into two arcs (im thinking about it so hard u have no idea!!!!!!) for this but alas.... /stares at my incomplete wips/ i am not </3

(added in from future shay: what have u done nonnie this became so much longer than i'd intended, u basically get the whole fic outline here. cw for death and murder n stuff, typical fnaf. also spoilers for a fic i may or may not write?? like. this is me brainstorming and shoving all my ideas here lol. literally all of them)

okay so... let us set the stage a little bc i can't help myself. arc1 of this hypothetical fic would of course involve the pizzaplex where reader and sun get "closer" over the course of like a year. maybe more. well sun feels close to you. you, on the other hand, do not. why would you? this robot has been so passive aggressive with you and though it seems like he's nice enough to you (in comparison to the other humans), you really don't like how he treats you some days. what he says about humanity as a whole. you can't help it! yeah humanity sucks sometimes and robots were built to be everything that humans aren't, but he can't generalize in the way that he does at times and forget that these are people!! with feelings and ambitions and dreams! 'superiority complex' doesn't even begin to cover his issues, gahh!!

(the fact that he's been treated like absolute shit, working in the daycare does not help whatsoever. the mean parents, the kids who don't listen to him, the staff tht does the bare minimum on him in terms of maintenance because he's the daycare robot and not one of the glamrocks. it grinds his gears)

i imagine the reader in this fic believes that robots are indeed sentient, which is why you try to get sun to recognize and acknowledge his own emotions/feelings (which he vehemently denies, even tho there are literal riots happening worldwide regarding robot sentience. he's lying to you. you know he's lying to you. but you don't know why he denies it so much. ((maybe this is the point where he catches feels for reader and is denying the fact tht he's crushing on a human lol)). the government is not happy about these uprisings, of course, and every day the news shows more and more chaos unfolding as robots get tired of the conditions they are in). but eventually, things boil over and you end up leaving. that, and it's becoming more dangerous, living in this area, with everything going on. maybe your parents are trying to convince you to move elsewhere. maybe there are other external circumstances. in any case, you leave. there is nothing at the pizzaplex for you anymore, sun has made that clear.

(and moon... well, moon has been quiet lately. too quiet. you don't know what happened to him, he won't even look at you when you manage to get some time with him when the lights go out after your shift)

((i imagine this is maybe around when they get infected. that makes everything even more complicated. if you thought sun was obsessive before, then that's nothing compared to a glitched out sun unforch. it just amplifies the more questionable aspects of his entire personality. and like, he doesn't even have vanny/afton commanding him bc as soon as he gets the virus? he kills both of them))

(((also im imagining moon and sun don't really get along in this au bc they have differing ideals/views. like to balance out sun's unhingedness, moon is significantly quieter and softer and deffo does not believe in robot superiority lol. if anything, maybe he has an inferiority complex pfft poor guy. doesn't help when he gets glitchtrap'd and wakes up with blood on his hands)))

okay so you leave, right? and a few weeks later, you see the news on your phone--the pizzaplex has burned down. you don't know how to feel about it. sure you've been friendly to the glamrocks and stuff, but you find yourself thinking about sun and moon. there's a mention of one death--a blond woman, who died from her neck snapping before the flames could reach her. you don't want to think of the implications of that. there's no mention of the glamrocks--of sun or moon or the dj. you're not sure if the news anchors are just excluding robots, but either way, it makes your heart sink. you take a moment to mourn. bc at the end of the day.... you did know sun for over a year.

not even a few days after that, there is a robot uprising in your city. it's... bad. you're at home, watching the news with your apartment half in shambles from your plan on moving back home with your parents. in my head, since utah is home to fazco (a megacorporation with hands in the development of a LOT of the robots seen in society), it also means it's a hotspot for robot riots and the like. fazco vehemently denies robot sentience because it would mean a loss of money in acknowledging their workers are people yk how it is. as such, there are maany protests and riots and stuff, from both humans and robots. it's a shitshow.

ANYWAYS you're at home and it becomes evidently clear that you need to get out of dodge as soon as you can. they were killing people. the robots, built by human hands, were killing. it brings about absolute chaos. in prior riots/protests there were never deaths. injuries, maybe, but never deaths. people start evacuating like crazy.

you catch a glimpse on the news that the violent uprising in utah caused a chainlink reaction to extend all across the nation. maybe even the world. you're scrambling all over your apartment with the tv on the news, doing your best to pack up the essentials. there's live coverage on the tv from a helicopter somewhere not far from your apartment complex. and you're able to catch a glimpse of bright rays and a cheshire, white smile on the screen--leading what looks like an army of robots--before it cuts out.

you don't even know what to think. the image is seared into your eyes, the blood that painted yellow hands and a crescent face.

you get the hell out of your apartment and book it as far as you can. communications are down everywhere--the thing about robots? they know exactly where to hit humans to cause a catastrophe. as such, your phone is useless. they've hijacked the satellites and took down certain powergrids. having a phone on you would only be a detriment, so you ditch it. there's only you now. you must survive.

and then there's a bit of a time skip to start arc2. in this duration, you're long gone from that city in utah, living with a small survival group. if you've read my summer camp au fic, this is where i'll bring in "OCs" such as vincent (a play on 2015 vincent) and jeremy (fitzgerald or the VR guy tht used to work for fazco), maybe michael if i really wanna au fudge everything. you all live day by day, trying to run away from the robots.

at this point, a majority of humanity has either been killed or has gone into hiding. i think while the robots don't want to eradicate humanity completely (after all, there are certain tasks that need humans n such), they definitely want to make them a minority. they are a little more than halfway through their goal.

it's very difficult to evade robot surveillance. there are drones everywhere. all cameras are hijacked. i'm imagining a kind of cyberpunk type world. you have EMPs and tasers that you can use to disable electronics, but they're made from scraps you and your group scavenged. and upon immediately using one, all robots in the area are informed of your presence, so they can only be used in rare and desperate circumstances. they are all connected to the same network, which means they can have a hive mind, at times. life is scary, in this regard. big brother is watching.

you've heard rumors of a human base underground somewhere--a place safe from robots with the proper defenses. accepting to any and all. the only tough thing was finding the damn place, but you've seen the clues in graffiti and hidden messages designed to trick AI (think: captcha). you and your group just wants to get to that damn base and stop living in fear all the time, being out in the open or crawling as stealthily as you can through empty streets.

the one thing sun used to emphasize to you? the way robots are more efficient. and that they are. you see it in the way a new metropolis shines like a beacon on the horizon. they've already built their own kingdom of sorts. and their ruler? you grimace as you think about sharp rays and wide, white eyes. you haven't seen him in ages--not since that initial broadcast. but you hear the whispered rumors and news. how he has created a robot haven--the celestial city. how he scorns humans. you blame yourself sometimes. maybe if you had stayed and tried harder to convince sun that humans aren't all too bad, none of this would have happened.

(a memory comes to you--of your time back at the pizzaplex. of you sitting atop the security desk and kicking your feet lightly as you entertain sun's... uniqueness. ambitions--that you did not take as seriously as you should have.

"okay, i'll bite," you said in amusement. "what would a robot takeover look like for you?"

sun cocked his head, hands fidgeting with a plush. "hmm. well. i suppose it would be a very quick thing, for one. hit hard and fast." he squeezed the plush. "take down comms. strike power sources. go for those in power first, then the weaker ones." he gave you a shrug and an unreadable smile. "from then on, carnage."

and you--silly silly you--just rolled your damn eyes at him like he was joking around with you and asked him about more hypotheticals. picking his brain, in a way. it was exact with how it played out in real time. you thought about this often, at the dead of night.

it was all your fucking fault)

and then, one day, the scout/informant of your little group--jeremy probably--comes back with some news. the celestial ruler--sun--has been taking human hostages. it's been happening for a while now, apparently, almost nearly as long as the uprising. jeremy pulls out some hazy photographs he's gotten from some of the other humans he exchanges info with. you look at them, the hostages.

after a minute or two of staring, you realize something.

they all sort of resemble you.

there's a clear pattern actually. your hair or your face shape or your eyes or your smile. some combination of them. but never actually you. you ask jeremy what it all means, and he hesitatingly says that it looks like sun is looking for someone. it's clear to everyone who it is as they all stare at you.

and you? you're panicking.

he's looking specifically for you. just you. you've never heard of the robots taking hostages, and you have no idea what he's doing with them, but it can't be anything good. especially since he keeps taking more and more of your lookalikes hostage. you think back to your time at the pizzaplex--so distant, now, that it almost feels like a dream.

he wants to kill you himself. you're sure of it.

now you're trying even harder to get to that underground base. you go completely dark, doing your best to evade detection--and i imagine there are quite a few close calls, definitely a few instances where your face is captured on camera or you have to use an EMP. until finally, you and your group manage to integrate into the underground human base.

'base' doesn't even properly describe it. it's a whole city, actually, with unsteady houses made of wood and cloth. it's the perfect place to hide.

you spend a while down there, occasionally venturing up when you're allowed to by the guards (it's rare, very very rare). the city has strict rules that must be followed to ensure it's not found. the ones in charge are constantly looking for news on the actions of sun and the majority of robots. they don't really keep the citizens updated--it would cause too much chaos, you think. but you hear whispers now and then. (the robots have expanded territory. france is completely gone. australia's still holding out. most of china and india have been taken over and their factories have all been transformed to mass produce more robots)

for the first time in a while, you think you can find peace down here. it was only inevitable that this would be ruined one day.

you wake up to chaos.

the underground is under siege. the robots have found you.

you run out of your makeshift house and have to dodge crumbling stone. explosions rock through the air, sending dust and debris everywhere. you're scared for your life--your only instinct is to run run run get out it's not safe! you don't know where your friends are. you don't know if they're alive. for a moment, you hesitate. and then you're bolting to try to find them. they had their own little homes not too far from you. you can find them. no man left behind.

you can hear bullets and the hum of energy everywhere. people are screaming and crying all around you. you see people dying before your eyes, impaled by beams of light or stray bullets. it's all you can do to dodge and weave towards vincent's house.

but before you can get there, something tackles you from behind. you roll across dirt, and find yourself pinned under a robot--a staffbot from the pizzaplex, you realize. except it looks--different. more high tech.

it seems to scan your face. and just before it can finish, you manage to grab a stray metal rod laying on the ground next to you and stab it right through the eye.

you scramble, getting as far away as you can from the thing. but-- you run right into the path of a crumbling building. it buries you halfway under thick wood, and something sears its way through your leg. you're trapped. you're trapped and there's no one around to help you.

and just when you're on the brink of passing out, you see him. standing in front of you a ways away. those same star-patterned pants and dangling cap. but he's different somehow, he looks different. you can't place it, your vision blurring into red and purple.

moon looks at you as though you are the last thing he wants to see. and then you faint.

when you wake up, you're in a bedroom. your leg is in a cast and there are crutches near your bed.

it's... the nicest room you've seen in a while. the windows are covered by thick curtains that let in a sliver of light. you have to blink a bit to let your eyes adjust. and then you get up, noticing you aren't in the same ratty, dirty clothes you'd been wearing for forever.

you try the door first. it's locked. there's a sinking sensation in your gut that gets stronger and stronger the closer you get to the window. and when you pull open the curtains, you gasp at the towering buildings, bright green and blue light, and flying drones.

you are in the middle of the celestial city.

you panic hard. and then you notice the camera in the corner of the room, looking right at you. big brother is definitely watching. you give him the bird.

you wallow around in the bedroom for a bit. you are hungry, you cannot deny. and there is only a glass of water for you set on your nightstand.

but eventually, the door opens of its own accord. an automatic lock, you suppose. and it swings open into a dark hall. you do not have any other choice but to follow. it's clear you are being summoned.

there are no places for you to run or hide. you travel down a long hallway and end up in a wide room with someone tall standing at the far end by the window. it's a scene straight out of a movie. you are not impressed.

the figure turns around, and you do a double take. it's sun--yet it's not.

he looks different. taller, stronger. with clawed fingers and rays that look deadly to the touch. his smile is sharper, his torso has all sorts of compartments and attachments. he was modded to all hell, just like that staffbot you saw earlier. it had to have been self inflicted.

he only stares at you, really. white eyes rake up and down your form, taking you in. you don't say a word, only look back at him. and then you flinch slightly when someone emerges from the shadows next to sun.

it's... moon. looking just as modded as sun. you're confused. when did they become separate? but honestly, you think it makes sense. they never really liked each other. it makes sense that sun would want to be separated as soon as possible--and they had the resources to do so. you just wonder why they're still working together. comfort in the familiarity, maybe.

moon doesn't meet your eye. you notice his is different--the red tinged with purple. sun doesn't look away from you. it makes you uneasy.

you don't know why you're here, but one thing's clear: you are not getting out of here anytime soon.

i'm honestly not sure how to end things, but in my head there's a lot of reconciliation that needs to happen. obv sun is so incredibly down bad for you at this point (and moon), but there are many issues that need to be tackled first.

sun doesn't understand why you're so wary around him. moon keeps avoiding you at every turn. there's still an entire revolution and remaking of society happening. you are constantly being watched by cameras in the building. i can't picture things as returning to normal--post uprising--but i also don't know how to end things on a happy note LOL, though i do want to instead of killing off reader or sun/moon. maybe it'll be a bittersweet sort of end, maybe reader finally gets through to sun. maybe eclipse will make an appearance (jk, idk how i would even do that, this might be an eclipse-less fic).

in any case, the next bit would be a lot of sun and reader connecting better than they had in the pizzaplex, a lot of sun trying to understand humans better cuz he's trying to court you-- and has long come to accept his emotions tbh. tho he's still kind of mad at you for leaving, so there needs to be a conversation of sorts about why you left before sun can really begin to understand how he appears to you. idk!

i also feel like moon isnt nearly fleshed out as sun is?? i dunno, i might have to think some more about him. i just know he's terrified of hurting you, esp with him still having the virus (and sun, but he has better control of it). gonna be a lot of work on your part to get him to be comfortable around you again. also, he doesn't like the fact that society has come to this. he lowkey resents sun, but he doesn't have anyone else. what's a bot to do?

also there may be a scene where your survival group tries to save you lol, maybe with an army that tries to seize control of the celestial city. which may work. this would be a bad end, i think, cuz there's no way sun's getting out of that alive.

anyways yeah. i rambled enough LMAOO whoopsie! i rly just regurgitated all the thoughts in my head. no promises that this will be a fic, i've got enough on my plate as is LOL

I can see this happening in the show. 😂

ROTTMNT: Unbreakable Blue

*Leo and Mikey are in the middle of a Dr. Feelings session*

Mikey: Alright. Tell me Leo, how are you feeling?

Leo: Like I want to skateboard.

Mikey: Leo! I’m being serious! We need to get to the root of your troubles!

Leo: Hard to take you serious in that adorable outfit~

Mikey: Aw, thank you! No wait! This isn’t about me!

Leo: It isn’t?

Mikey: No! Because you struggle with stuff and I want to help you. So, you gotta tell me how you feel!

Leo: Alright… Well- I struggle..

Mikey: Yeah?

Leo: I struggled with..

Mikey: Go on?

Leo: Raph’s anxiety stank.

Mikey: *Sighs* We all do, Leo.

Leo: Aw, you wanna talk about it?

We all have bad days!

In case anyone is having a bad night:

Here is the fudgiest brownie in a mug recipe I’ve found

Here are some fun sites

Here is a master post of Adventure Time episodes and comics

Here is a master post of movies including Disney and Studio Ghibli

Here is a master post of other master posts to TV shows and movies

*tucks you in with fuzzy blanket* *pats your head*

You’ll be okay, friend <3

Fuck, I gotta clean!

being an adult is just saying to yourself “this is the weekend i’ll clean my [x]” and then proceeding to not do that because it’s the weekend and you deserve to relax, goddamnit

I love essays like this!

It's time to fix Logan's Scheduling Problems(TM)

@ironwoman359 had a really good post and it inspired this one because I could not stop breaking down Logan's priorities chart. I have boarded the hyperfixation express and taken it all the way down to the dreaded mathville just to think about graphs and charts. Oh dear. This is so unlike me. But the chart is so funny and they actually took a decent amount of time to think through the amounts of time spent on each task, allowing us to break down the original schedule before it was "fixed" to adjust for Roman.

So buckle up because I have double checked the math but I am very adhd and often quite a bit stupid from stress related brainfog so who fuckin knows if this is accurate.

LET'S GOOOOOOO

This is Logan's original proposed schedule which I borrowed from @ironwoman359's post:

We can see it's a nice chart, lovely and hand made which I greatly enjoy. And luckily we have numbers to work with so we can figure out exactly how much time is alotted to what based on the percentages in a 24 hour day.

And oh guess what! They're ridiculous numbers designed specifiily to allow that 0.5% for Dreams but I'll get to that in a moment.

If you're anything like me, (quite a but math stupid) those percentages don't really give enough info on how long they're actually taking for each just by looking at it. So here's the breakdown in hours because finding out how many hours each thing accounts for should give us an idea of Logan's priorities.

40% - Work (9.6 hours - oof)

33% ‐ Sleep (7.92 hours)

12.5% - Eat (3 hours)

8% - Exercize (1.92 hours)

4% ‐ General Hygene (57.6 minutes)

2% - Dental Hygene (28.8 minutes - mega oof)

0.5% - Dreams (7.2 minutes - fuckin ouch)

As we can see, Logan's chart is heavily skewed to work, sleep and eating. But these numbers are still potentially hard to understand. "Why does it say 57.6 minutes?" You might be asking. So we will round those numbers to a more understandable range because ideally we are trying to add up to 24 hours:

Work: 10

Sleep: 8 hours

Eat: 3 hours

Exercize: 2 hours

Gen. Hygene: 1 hour

Dental Hygene: 30 minutes (seriously, oof)

At this point when we round, that is 24.5 hours which already goes over so we are obligated to round one down instead of up for the sake of the 24 hours- we will round work to 9 hours 30 minutes instead of ten hours and this still leaves no room for dreams or recreation of any kind at all. We can assume this was the ORIGINAL proposed schedule before the changes. That's why he's got such weirdly specific numbers. He's alotted time specifically for dreams by taking minutes from everything except eating and work, leaving only 7-ish minutes.

Which is bullshit so let's break this down in each one to validate each choice's logic:

Work: 9 and a half hours

This is way too much. Therefore, we will snag an hour and put it aside for later and snag that other 30 minutes for breaks.

Conckusion- 8 hours for work and 30 minutes for breaks.

Number of time saved: 1 hour

Sleep: 8 hours

The recommended amount of time, we will not touch this number.

Number of time saved: N/A

Eat: 3 hours

1 hour per meal and since c!Thomas canonically rarely cooks, it is an ample amount of time to heat up something quick and enjoy the meal. We can count this number as untouchable as well.

Number of time saved: N/A

Exercise: 2 hours

This is our second potentially flexible number. It's recommended 30 minutes every day to be healthy, not two full hours so there is a potential hour and a half that could be taken here for something else. This is important.

Number of time saved: 1 hour and 30 minutes

Gen. Hygene: 1 hour

This accounts for shower time and presentability time, IE hair brushing and clothes. This is a decent amount of time and could leave room for flexibility as not everyone needs an hour, however we will leave this time to itself.

Number of time saved: N/A

Dental hygene: 30 minutes

Oh boy what the actual fuck Logan. The American Dental Association says the recommended amount of time for brushing yoir teeth is 2 minutes 2 times a day. That's 4 minutes, not 30. Then it's plus 1 minute for wetting the toothbrush and applying toothpaste, and another 2 minutes of wiggle room for a once a day flossing. Plus another minute or whatever for mouthwash or something else.

Conclusion- We will generously round this number to 10 minutes for dental hygene.

Number of time saved: 20 minutes.

That brings us to a total of 2 hours and 50 minutes for literally everything else and this is a good number. Thats almost 3 hours worth of time we can be slotting to dreams and leisure acrivities and also socializing!

So now we have it folks, we have a better understanding of why the schedule is fucked and how we can fix it to satisfy much more with this improved breakdown:

Work: 8 hours (fixed)

Sleep: 8 hours (fixed)

Breaks: 30 minutes (fixed)

Eating: 3 hours (fixed)

Exercise: 30 minutes (fixed)

General hygene: 1 hour (fixed)

Dental hygene: 10 minutes (fixed)

Dreams: 50 minutes (flexible)

Liesure: 1 hour (flexible)

Social: 1 hour (flexible)

Logan hire me to fix your schedule sir

Hermitcraft au

DETROIT BECOME HERMITCRAFT (DBHC) AU MASTERPOST!

This is a list of all of the canon content for the au! Everything is Organized by Character, and then in each character section, the art is organized by the Chronological order in the narrative (not the order they were posted).

All of my content/Canon content (including ask responses that contain dbhc info) can be found in the #dbhc tag

All fanart can be found in the #dbhc fanart tag

All ficlets and other fan writing of the au can be found in the #dbhc fanfic tag

(I'll try to update this as we go, but lemme know if I've missed anything or if something's not linked correctly!)

GUIDE TO DBHC ANDROIDS

BDUBS AND ETHO

Bdubs thinks his android looks too formal

Put Me To Work Spotify Wrapped Doodle

Comic: Etho Deviates Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

Etho waits for bdubs to return with parts

@saphushia' Comic: Bdubs carries Etho out of the cave

Comic: Etho almost bleeds out lol Part 1 | Part 2

@saphushia's Comic: Bdubs contemplates his dying machine

Comic: Etho Deviates Part 4

Comic: Bdubs realizes Etho’s Deviant Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

Bdubs realizes Etho’s Deviant Fake Ending

How Etho mended the cracks in his shell

Destruction Spotify Wrapped Doodle

Etho Re-Deviates

Comic: Etho accidentally tries to sync with Bdubs’ hand Part1 | Part2

Pre-First Kiss Ficlet Doodle

Comic: Post-Relationship - Bdubs Apologizes Part 1 | Part 2

Other Etho Doodles (x)

DOC (And Ren and Xisuma!)

Ren has no idea what’s going on (Old Doc Design)

Comic: Doc informs Xisuma of Deviancy

IMPULSE (and Pearl!)

Pearl gives Impulse a new uniform

Strong boy :]

MUMBO (and Grian + Scar!)

The first dbhc post! Grian Pondering Android Mumbo

Scar and Grian BOTH Pondering Android Mumbo

Mumbo can’t kill things and Grian and Scar Don’t Realize It

Mumbo running around to build contraptions

Comic: Grian tells Mumbo to hack Doc

TANGO (and Zed!)

Introducing Tango!

Stream doodle of Tango and Zed

Android Tango makes a perfect Strider!

Double Life Ranchers - Tango's Rage

OTHER

How Ren/X/Bdubs react to Deviancy

free online computer games for agere !! 🚀

🐧 new club penguin

a recreation of club penguin with monthly updates and fun parties!

to access:

go to newcp.net

click “play now” in the upper right

you can play in the browser or download the game and play that way!

💫 moshi monsters rewritten

a recreation of moshi monsters that releases new moshlings often!

to access:

go to moshirewritten.com

click the purple "download" button at the top

download then launch the game!

🕹️ numuki

a collection of over 3000 browser games, including all of the papa's games and other old flash games!

to access:

go to numuki.com

you can either start playing right away, or you can download their browser for a better experience

to download, click any game, then click "play now", and click "play in numuki browser" under the game window

🐛 abcya

a bunch of fun online games for ages from pre-k to 6th grade! perfect for all regressors 🫶

to access:

go to abcya.com

click the grade that aligns with your little age! to help, that means:

pre-k: age 1-4 k: age 5 1st: age 6 2nd: age 7 3rd: age 8 4th: age 9 5th: age 10 6th: age 11+

choose the game you want to play!

🌳 pbs kids

a collection of modern, kid-friendly games with fun themes like halloween, space, and music!

to access:

go to pbskids.org/games

click the game you want to play or choose one of the categories!

you can toggle music, speech, captions, and full screen with the buttons on the right

🎮 coolmathgames

a collection of both old and new flash + html games! there are many old favorites as well as new games added almost daily

to access:

go to coolmathgames.com

you can view new games, trending games, or sort by category! i recommend the “skill” category 🩵

there are also tons of kid friendly quizzes to do! many quizzes are themed around animals, food, nature and more

Masterpost for Bill "Goldilocks" Cipher fic

If you're new here, this is one of those fics where Bill comes back in a human body and is imprisoned in the Mystery Shack until the Pines & friends can figure out how to kill him (which they won't, because this is also a "Bill's redeemed through the power of improbable friendship" fic). The "Goldilocks" is because the Pines need a code name other than "Bill Cipher" to call their prisoner, and Bill liked Mabel's suggestion best.

For all my fic, art, doodles, upcoming scene excerpts, and posts about characterization & plot plans, see my #bill goldilocks cipher tag.

New chapter every Friday, 5pm CST-ish!

For just the fic itself, here are all the current chapters:

⛓️ 1 Part 1. Bill returns, in a bedsheet toga.

⛓️ 1 Part 2. Bill tries to murder the Stans & Soos (with time travel).

⛓️ 2. Dipper and Mabel save the day (with time travel).

⛓️ 3. A tense evening as the Pines prepare to get rid of Bill.

⛓️ 4. Plot twist: the Pines physically can't get rid of Bill.

⛓️ 5. The gang goes to a diner at 3 a.m. for hostage negotiations.

⛓️ 6. Bill escapes from Theraprism.

⛓️ 7. "How'd Bill get here" flashback; plus, entering his new prison.

💇‍♀️ 8. Bill gives himself a haircut and depression.

💇‍♀️ 9. Bill & Ford grudgingly have a sincere conversation; regret it.

💇‍♀️ 10. The kids decide Bill won't ruin their summer. Also: Pacifica!

🧚 11. Mabel gives Bill the most beautiful makeover ever. (It's not.)

🧚 12. Pacifica advertises Harry's Hairy Fairy Formula. Bill wants it.

🧚 13. Pacifica refuses to share; the twins discover its side effects.

🧚 14. Mabel wins Bill's eternal friendship with arts & crafts.

💭 15. Bill, Ford, and Dipper have nightmares that are Bill's fault.

💎 16. Ford has a fun day with Mabel but everything goes wrong.

💎 17. The day goes right again thanks to healthy communication.

🐿️ 18. Mabel's Guide To Local Animals, co-starring Bill Cipher.

🧊 19. Wendy snoops into the weird things happening in the shack.

🧊 20. Wendy meets the weird thing (it's Bill).

🎂 21. Stan & Ford's birthday party! Bill gives evil gifts.

💭 22. Bill "helps" Dipper's nightmares; no one knows his motive.

👁️ 23. Bill's ex is back in town and nobody's happy about it.

👁️ 24. Everyone's even less happy to learn Bill has a sex life.

🧿 25. Mabel and Bill make friendship bracelets! :)

🧿 26. The Pines take Bill to the mall. He wears terrible things.

🧿 27. Bill breaks Mabel's heart (and panics to fix it).

🏳️‍🌈 28. Bill talks his way into going with Wendy to Rainbow Club.

🎃 29. Bill contacts the Henchmaniacs on Summerween morning.

🎃 30. Costume making. Mabel pries into Bill's past, with crayons.

🎃 31. The Trickster's pals trick-or-treat; and Bill terrifies Dipper.

🪮 32. Dipper & Mabel make a poppet to control Bill.

🦷 33. Stan takes Bill to the dentist. In handcuffs.

🦷 34. Dentist & tooth fairy attack. Stan & Bill are still handcuffed.

🦷 35. Bill & Stan reach a painful understanding and stop the fairy.

🛁 36. Anime night; and Mabel makes Bill do community service.

🛁 37. Bill plots escape and runs into Wendy. Dipper panics.

🛁 38. Bill has the worst and stupidest day of his afterlife.

🌅 39. A cultist finds Bill; Bill tries to re-recruit Ford.

🚙 40. Gideon broadcasts car commercials; invokes Bill's wrath.

🚙 41. Bill apologizes for bullying Gideon. lol no he blackmails him.

🌕 42. Bill tells Dipper secrets of the universe; predicts an eclipse.

🌖 43. Gravity is disappearing; Ford and Fiddleford investigate.

🌗 44. Ford & Dipper drag Bill hiking; Bill faces his death.

🌘 45. Ford demands answers Bill can't give as totality looms.

🌑 46. Totality. Bill decides whether Ford lives or dies.

🌒 47. Bill feels rotten but finally explains the eclipse.

🌓 48. Bill has a complete mental breakdown.

🌔 49. The gang limps home. (Plus: a second dimensional eclipse.)

💿 50. Bill finally processes that mental breakdown.

💿 51. Dipper and Mabel try to remember the Axolotl's poem.

📖 52. The gang reads Flatworld. Bill isn't thrilled.

📖 53. Mabel tries to get Bill to talk about his home world.

⚛️ 54. Dipper, Ford, and Fiddleford do paradox physics.

📖 55. Mabel learns college-level geometry.

📖 56. Mabel & Bill have fun; Dipper & Ford prepare for murder.

💀 57. The execution of Bill Cipher.

💀 58. Everything you wondered about how Bill escaped.

💀 59. Everything you didn't wonder about how Bill escaped.

💀 60. Everything you never imagined about how Bill escaped.

📙 62. Soos vacuums the attic (wow exciting)

📙 63. Soos decides how he feels about Bill's treatment.

📙 64. Fixin it with Soos: home redecorating!

⛓️ 6. If you read ch 6 before TBOB, go read it again because I wrote a new ch 6!

COMING IN UNCERTAIN ORDER: 🪐 61. The Axolotl Finds The Second Dimension's Corpse.

65. The gang makes plans for the night.

We've started crossposting to AO3 but I've got too many things on my to-do list to overhaul the masterpost, come back later.

This post was last updated August 16, 2024! If you're seeing this post as a reblog and it's been a while since then, check back on the original post to see if more's been added!

Masterpost of all aus, fics and series that have been tagged on this blog

if you enjoy any of these, please feel encouraged to go check out the blogs tagged and check out more of their stuff! ^-^

#shep dbh au <- the detroit become human au that @shepscapades has that is in the form of comics and other drawings as well (think like doodles and wips ^-^)

#the silver sun <- a xisuma centric fic that @thathermitweirdo and art that is made inspired by the fic

#tastes like coffee <- an ethubs fic that xisuma shows up in by @thatonewatercat

#hunger au <- posts about the fic lost in the dark (he's got a heavy heart) by @definitelynotshouting that is a grian fic where grian goes through a lot of stuff and xisuma shows up in the fic. heavy tags

#vampire au <- so far just one post by @thathermitweirdo talking about writing vampire hunter xisuma ^-^

#it spreads au <- a comic series by @foxxology where grian becomes corrupted by skulk during s9 and xisuma shows up

#creaturfication au <- an au by @evenmoreevil & @applestruda

#sporelings au <- an au by @sporelings-au that takes place during s7 where grian is mother spore and the other resistance members are his kids and doc is his partner. xisuma shows up and is lovingly referred to as uncle egg by the sporelings ^-^

#meiy'ia <- a pirate fic and art by @kitsunespawz where xisuma is the captain of the ship. there is hermitshipping in it

#space outlaws <- a hermitcraft space au by @martuzzio that has art and a fic called my reality, yours

#starred water au <- an au by @kingscourthouse that includes both xisuma and evil xisuma

#little big hermitcraft <- a little big planet au by @slime-gods

#iris au <- an interactive au on the blog @ask-the-iris-au-hermits

#apricity au <- an au by @isolarya which includes watcher lore and traffic series

#the swap au <- a post double life au by @arthropod-concoctions where the soulmates end up swapping places. xisuma shows up during in the fic, which is called and why are you british now?

#spicy chicken au <- a fantasy au by @mojo-chojo (and their mutuals, followers and anons) with various comics and fics. this au has hermitshipping elements ^-^

#hot guy aquarium au <- a merfolk x superhero au on @officalhotguyaquarium where xisuma is the owner of the aquarium ^-^

#black rose au <- a four part series by @cobradoesmcyt that is set in s6

#diverging future <- a fic by @bunnyloverqueen where xisuma adopts grian and jimmy as children. evil xisuma is in the fic too. heavy tags.

#mini tango au <- an au by @mysteriousmoss about tango having a clone/son. evil xisuma appears in some art for the au

#void duo hero au <- a superhero au by @kiwinatorwaffles that has both art and fics. this au includes both xisuma and evil xisuma

#hc scp au <- a scp au by @rosego1dd

#daau <- a desert alien au by @stiffyck that xisuma is a part of ^-^

#tcpootw <- the curtains pulled out of the wall is a fic by @meteormoss about etho cleo and bdubs. xisuma is only mentioned in asks i believe (i haven't finished reading the fic yet so sorry if im wrong ^-^). a bit heavier fic.

#tamacrafters au <- an au by @hybbart where players spawn in as eggs and then hatch into lil creatures ^-^ this au is partially inspired by tamagotchi if i remember correctly (let me know if im wrong ^-^)

#jevin's egg disaster <- an au by @theminecraftbee inspired by the easter egg hunt that jevin put together in s9 where the eggs hatch and lil hermits run around the server ^-^

#private detective gem tasey <- a gem centric detective au by @kiwinatorwaffles

#featherweight au <- an au by @doctorsiren that xisuma and evil xisuma appear in

#featherswap au <- an au by @doctorsiren that xisuma and evil xisuma appear in

#commission competition <- an au by @stitchthesewords that is about etho and bdubs mainly. xisuma has appeared in it tho ^-^

#dry lightning au <- an au by @t3rm1n0s where an oc (koda) is created and their shenanigans on the server. xisuma appears in the au

#winter's rebirth <- a multifandom au by @mysteriousmoss that xisuma and evil xisuma appear in

#wall au <- a superhero au by @nullvoidface where cuteguy becomes the villain. xisuma appears in it. the fic is called And Now There's A Coldness (And It's Shaped Like Me)

#coastal town au <- an au by @solsearchingnights that is multi fandom. xisuma shows up in it.

#aadtd au <- an au by @sleepychaoticentity where both grian and zedaph are watchers on hermitcraft. xisuma is a part of this au

#kitsunes space pirates au <- a pirate au by @kitsunespawz where every server is a pirate ship and the admin of said server is the captain. both xisuma and evil xisuma are in this au

#odyssey craftpunk au <- an au by @gumptiomdog that both xisuma and evil xisuma are a part of

#hermitfold au <- a hermitcraft x dsmp au by @serendipitous-posts where c!jack manifold appears in hermitcraft s8 and ends up basing with zedaph. xisuma is a part of this au

#metal hearts au <- an au by @votederpycausemufins where mumbo and grian rebuild grumbot and jrumbot but as little robots, so they now have essentially 2 kids on the hermitcraft server. xisuma is in this au

#snapshot au <- an au by @doctorsiren where different hermits have been "snapped" and are evil robots (pls correct me if im wrong about this) both xisuma and evil xisum are in this au

#dadskall au <- an au by @doctorsiren where iskall is doom guy/used to be doomguy and is also xisuma & evil xisuma's dad because of being doomguy

#this is about a stuffed bird <- a fic written by @theminecraftbee where mumbo jumbo sets out on a mission to find grian after the world seemingly ends and he sees things that no one should ever see. evil xisuma is in this fic and there are mentions of xisuma

#hermit doomsday au <- an au on the @dailyxisumavoid blog where xisuma is surviving in a post apocalypse world and is finding other survivors along the way ^-^

#recks au <- an au by @wasyago that takes place in s8 with the concept of the builders are robots that the redstoners have made in a cyberpunky setting ^-^ both xisuma and evil xisuma present

#from the archives <- a the magnus archives au by @sixteenth-days that has multiple fics and has characters from multiple different smps. both xisuma and evil xisuma show up during the au.

#hermitcraft mermaid au <- an au by @remderance where xisuma is the owner of an oceanarium and ocean research center. different hermits in this au are different ocean creature mermaids like scar and pearl ^-^

#fallen london au <- an au by @redstone-sun that is multifandom and has multiple fics

#octopath au <- an au by @bathtea4 inspired by octopath 2

#SEN au <- an au by @tunastime around the fic Stretching Endless Nights. xisuma is mentioned in the fic and in some other posts about the au

Mikey popping into his shell is so cute!

Oh mi gosh!!!

Finally drew them!!! Couldn’t wait to draw Casey and Cass!

Casey jr coming in clutch with that photo! Also I’m pretty terrible with perspective so don’t mind the errors :)))

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