I Am The 4 Am Potato Thing I Don't Speak Tree

its a moral obligation to kiss boymoders and call them cute girly names until they HATCHf

A MORAL OBLIGATION!

Is there like a cure for constantly being horny?

It's been -78 days since the last day i didn't randomly think about gay sex and that's only if you count the day i realized i didn't think about gay sex which is still technically thinking about gay sex. If you don't I have no clue what it's like to not have your thoughts filled with AGGRESSIVE GAYNESS.

Flirting with an aromantic is such a uniquely one-sided experience. It's like trying to use sign language to communicate with a blind person but in my case it's somehow worse because I don't actually know sign language so anyone who looked just saw me pantomiming to some blind dude. And the blind dude can't just tell you he doesn't understand because he CAN'T EVEN SEE how bad your communication is. Like.... at least with an ace they can tell you you're making a fool out of yourself before you're a week deep into their dms trying to recommend Izumi Sena Love Stage to someone who DOESNT EVEN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF ROMANTIC ATTRACTION and it's just UAFaeilALVEA. I can't even comprehend not internally fangirling whenever someone you're dating calls you cute. HOW THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW they only view being called cute the same way you do when a friend says you look nice. I.... just.... Logically, I understand. Emotionally, i feel betrayed by the very concept. Socially? I'm inept.

It's not like I'm not fine with aromantics. Friendship is the important part anyways. The logical part of my brain is just sitting there going "This is fine. That makes sense. They just want friendship and maybe sex. That's a perfectly valid way to live life". Meanwhile the emotional half is just sitting there screaming and crying incoherently, and i can't really do anything about that.

the sudden urge to put on mouse ears and a maid outfit so you can go around making mouse based puns while cleaning the house

"Mouse-keeping!" "Cheesed to meet you! Have I seen you before?" "This one's on the mouse!" "I'll leave it squeaky clean!" "Mice to see you!"

I'll be adding more as I think of them, I'm hoping to create an encyclopedia of mouse puns.

im as horny as i am depressed

i can't stop thinking about girlcock 😭

I wonder if there's someone out there whose thing is that literally all they want out of life is to be sucked into a jet engine and no one knows.

No one knows he's sitting in a padded cell waiting for his moment in life. Biding his time until the day he can walk out of that room, hop the fence of an airport then immediately get sucked into a GE90 turbo fan. T-posing in an inward draft before he's ground into dust, vaporized and shot out the back at as a molten human jet stream, shining brighter than any man ever could in that brief moment where man and machine intersect. No one will know who he is. No one will know why he did it. They will blame his captors for failing to prevent him from attaining his lifelong dream. No one understood him. No one ever will. They won't even know that his valiant sacrifice will save three-hundred sixty passengers and the Boeing 777's entire crew from a grisly demise by preventing a plane with an undiscovered engine malfunction from taking off. All for the low low price of spraying the runway with a fine red mist and permanently traumatizing the child sitting in seat number 16A.

Why do all but 1 have bedroom eyes?

More characters for our photocard and love letter seriessss

this is an unacceptable proposition and i will steal your kidneys

please god help me i got toothpaste in my hair and it's not coming out

My guilty pleasure right now is watching luxury hotel reviews and I found this british guy who keeps accidentally clipping into the backrooms.

He's unintentionally making the best liminal horror content on youtube