AJRs Entire Discography Is Just Them Being Like “growing Up Was The Worst Thing I Ever Did” With

Could you imagine the vibes on that boat after Odysseus’ crew go against his word and open the bag sending them all the way back to where they started near enough…

I like to think there was a moment somewhat like this

odysseus: whaT DO YOU MEAN MOVE THE BED????

penelope: oh sorry i thought we were playing the ask stupid questions game

Do you ever pretend you're a doctor scrubbing in for the biggest surgery of your career and give yourself a pep talk to make it a success while washing your hands? Or is that just me

the lyric “feeling like the very last drops of an ink pen” never fails to knock the breath out of me. you’re running out of energy, you feel ALMOST empty but somehow, after releasing so much of your despair into the world, the last of your burden feels the most significant, but there won’t be any comfort even when you unload the burden because you’re spent and you feel useless and it’s like you can’t speak anymore because you ran out of words but what’s worse is that you couldn’t write any more even if you wanted to. these last few drops are momentous because there’s finally an end to your dwelling but there’s no relief. this is the last of you.

Enneagram type aesthetics (healthy)

Enneagram type aesthetics (healthy)

Enneagram 1: Crisp white sheets, freshly laundered and neatly laid on the bed. A handwritten letter folded into equal thirds and slipped into a fresh envelope. Handing in a final paper exactly on time, but finishing it the week before. A firm, friendly handshake between people who just met for the first time. A sigh of relief. Nailing a Pinterest recipe on the first try. Gardenias in the spring time. Small lace trim on a sensible dress. A well-aged leather briefcase passed down through generations.

Enneagram 2: The smell of cinnamon buns on a fall morning. Grandmother’s hugs. Grandpa showing you how to fix your bike. Volunteering for charities at Christmas time. Getting a handmade card in the mail. Surprise texts that let you know a friend was thinking about you. Cashmere. Tinkling laughter at a cocktail party. Knowing you’re safe. Arriving to the coffee shop and your friend grabbed your favourite spot and saved it for you. Your first kiss.

Enneagram 3: The feeling right before the gun goes off at the start of the race. A victory lap. A black jacket that goes with everything and looks incredible. A fresh hair cut. Checking the last thing off your to-do list. The heat of stage lights. Games night with old friends. Introducing new friends to one another and everyone hitting it off. Friends who know each other so well they can sit in silence in the same room and consider it a day well spent. 

Enneagram 4: Digging through old trunks in the attic. Trying a new drink at the bar because it sounds dramatic. Holding a friend’s hand while they cry. The joy of discovering a picturesque alleyway. Letting your mind wander for hours. Road trips with the perfect playlist for every landscape. Deep understanding. Finding an old, beat up copy of your favourite book and treasuring the life it’s lead. Dried flowers in a vintage vase. 

Enneagram 5: The smell of an old bookstore. Getting lost on thought trails for hours. A favourite t-shirt that’s worn in all the right places. A monocle passed down through generations. The joy of alone time. Dust drifting lazily through the evening window light. The joy of finally understanding something. Solo hikes in the mountains. A year-long adventure in a foreign country, immersing yourself in the culture. Telling the story for generations.

Enneagram 6: The feeling of sharing your story with a new friend and having them totally understand. Reunion trips in Hawaii. Gathering for orange slices after the soccer game when you’re a kid, and gathering for game night when you all grow up. Quiet nostalgia. A box of embarrassing but endearing photos and treasures from college. The feeling that everything is taken care of. A hug between old friends. Worn in boots that are stylish and functional and fit perfectly. Inside jokes you keep for years.

Enneagram 7: Fireworks in the summer. Working three jobs to save up for a backpacking trip. Drunken karaoke that’s very off key, but everyone sings along and cheers at the end. A mischievous wink. Bragging about knee scrapes after falling off a skateboard while going way too fast. Wearing plaid and polka dots at the same time, because someone said it shouldn’t be done. Ordering menu items that seem terrible, just to try them out. A prank competition between friends.

Enneagram 8: Loud, joyful laughter between friends at a coffee shop. Reading an entire book series in one weekend, wishing you were living the protagonist’s adventurous life. Red lipstick and black turtleneck sweaters. The feeling after a great workout. The smell of strong, fresh coffee. A playful punch from a friend. Opening up to someone and feeling understood. Playing with a rambunctious puppy and cuddling it after you’re both tired out. Taking a secret to the grave.

Enneagram 9: Sunday morning pancakes. A huge, cozy scarf in the fall. Relaxing with a group of friends who know you well. A day where nothing is scheduled. Helping a friend feel better. Sunflowers in the summer. Ordering your favourite dish at your favourite restaurant. Flickering candles in the evening. A knowing smile. The pride of having achieved your goal. The feeling after a warm bath. Warm pumpkin pie and slowly melting whipped cream. 

now that tbb is ending its time

🕯 . 🕯

🕯 . 🕯

🕯 Rex show 🕯

🕯 . 🕯

🕯 . 🕯

“if you take medication for that, you’ll be taking medication all your life!!” yeah, and?? bud, i already put on my glasses every morning. it’s like. a condition of mine, not a side hobby i’m pursuing irresponsibly. 

Some thoughts on Bad Batch Season 3

SPOILERS

First off I want to say this is going to be a very unpopular opinion and if you liked the szn this probably isnt the post for u, but I feel I have to speak my mind.

Overall after watching season 3 I honestly feel let down and unsatisfied with the events and especially the ending.

1. Techs death is probably the biggest thing that frustrated me because when you kill a character off you should either have your other characters morn and grieve them and learn to accept the loss or bring them back.

However they didn't either of those, instead they pretty much forget he existed they barely reference him and only say his name like twice, it would be fine to show characters in denial about someone's death but it's more like the show is in denial. This is why many bad batch fans were expecting tech to come back, if you don't morn a characters death than the story arch feels incomplete a ppl will wait for it to "end".

Not to mention techs story didn't seem over he left on weird unfinished terms with Phee and it seemed like they would touch on it again but nope.

Also they introduced CX-2 and made it seem like he might be tech, such as having the same build and teasing the identity like it's important and like it will mean something and then at the end for CX-2 and all these super soldiers to mean absolutely nothing.

2. So many unfinished questions, I can't believe this is the end of bad batch and apparently the last clone show. Especially when we still don't know where tf Cody is and all we're told is that he's gone AWOL (mentioned like it will mean something in the future) and then we never see or hear anything about him again.

Then there's Wolffe obviously we know he's in Rebels but what happens between then and now?

Then there's Echo same as Wolffe what happens to him as we never see him fighting alongside rex in Rebels.

Then ventress she was introduced back and then she leaves and we never see or hear about her ever again, she didn't rlly add much they revived and went "look ventress is back" for one episode and then that's it she's no longer important all she did was say "yup omega has a high M count" and then left.

3. Omega and the other force sensitive children could have patched up the plot hole of "somehow palatine is back" by saying using omegas clone DNA that can sustain high levels of a M count and a force sensitive child they were able to figure out how to clone palatine or smth but no it all meant nothing and we never rlly knew what the tests where for even when they had a golden opportunity to reveal it when Rampart forces Nala se to tell him everything abt the experiments

Honestly season 1&2 were great and so I went into season 3 expecting the same amount of quality but I didn't get that. They usually tie everything together and I never felt unsatisfied or confused in szn 1&2 but I did in szn 3. I kept waiting for things to start to tie together especially when the had so many moment where it seemed like the scenes where there just to make things make sense but no they were all there for nothing.

I walked away from szn 3 thinking it must have been rushed or gotten a new writers team bc wtf was any of this, it was so out of character for the writers to make such bad decisions.

I understand if other people like the ending bc we don't usually get somewhat happy endings but this was more like a half-assed happy ending to me, I would have preferred a well written devastating bad ending but this is what we got instead and I am so disappointed. All I could think of szn 3 was about how angry, let down and confused I was and that it was a lame and made me feel meh.

Enneagram system

A rewrite/more in depth post of the Enneagram system compared to my last post on it. Not an expert. May change later.

If you like kpop and typology, check out my blog. I do type analysis on idols and typology notes.

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What is Enneagram?

I mainly took notes from Riso Hudson theory.

A typology system that categorizes personalities into 9 different types. Each type is numbered from 1 - 9.

Each type has a desire and fear that motivates their actions in life.

Core and Wings

Core: Our main type. It is the foundation of our personality and does not change.

Wing: Acts as a complement to our core. Wing can be one of the two types that sit beside core type. E.g a core 2 can have a 1 wing (2w1) or 3 wing (2w3). But is not necessary to use since wings can change and/or can be balanced.

Levels of Development

Summary of healthy - unhealthy levels of personality

- Healthy levels -

Level 1: Liberation

Let go of self image so we are free to express ourselves however we want. Self acceptance of all traits.

Level 2: Pyschological Capacity

Begin to identify with positive qualities in our personalities and learn to improve ourselves with them.

Level 3: Social Value

Still strongly identify with our set self image and make effort to maintain image. Want to share our good talents and abilities to make a positive effect on self and others.

- Average levels -

Level 4: Imbalance/Social roles

Idealization of self image; have a major focus on either good or bad qualities, no in between. Fear is an obstacle here.

Level 5: Interpersonal Control

Insist on self image being accepted by others, which can cause conflict. Can lead to controlling and manipulation.

Level 6: Overcompensation

Overcompensate due to underlying negative feelings. Desperate for others' acceptance.

- Unhealthy levels -

Level 7: Violation

Desperation for acceptance leads to violation of one's self and others. Serious conflict can occur. May victimize themselves to excuse offensive actions.

Level 8: Obsession and Compulsion

May be overly obsessed with an image of who they want to be. Deceives others

Level 9: Pathological Destructiveness

Most unhealthy state, display very toxic traits and behaviours, may have mental breakdown

Disintegration vs Integration

Or basically Stress vs Growth

Disintegration: When under heavy amounts of stress, a type will go into their disintegration type. They will pick up the negative traits of that type and act like the unhealthy version of it.

Integration: When maturing/developing positively, a type will go their integration type. They will pick up the positive traits of that type and improve their character.

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* I will only give short descriptions for the triads. I will explain more in depth in individual posts.*

Centers of Intelligence

There are 3 centers of intelligence. Each center shows how and why we solve issues in life.

Gut/Instinct/Anger (types 1, 8, 9)

Gut center focuses on reacting and taking action immediately. This triad has an issue with control and anger.

1: Often perfectionists who repress their anger in order to remain morally good. They see their anger in a negative light.

8: The most open and comfortable with their anger. Uses it to assert boundaries, especially since this type fears vulnerability.

9: Often a passive type that dismisses or downplays their anger. They fear conflict and may worry being more assertive will cause a negative effect on themselves and others.

Heart/Image/Shame (types 2, 3, 4)

Heart center focuses on self identity and connections. This triad wants love and recognition and do what they believe is best to get that. They struggle with self worth.

2: They want to be needed and helpful to others. Pride themselves on being of service. Wants to receive love and to give love.

3: The most image oriented type. They always try to show their best selves and best efforts in order to seem admirable. Fears being worthless.

4: Wants to create a unique image for themselves, believes being boring will make them unloveable.

Head/Thinking/Fear (types 5, 6, 7)

Head center focuses on ideas, making rational decisions, and gathering info. This triad deals with fear and uncertainty.

5: The most internalized head type. 5's want to gather as much knowledge and resources as possible in order to stay secure and independent.

6: Quite an anxious type who seeks security through relations with others.

7: This type fears pain and suffering and seek out experiences in order to avoid negativity.

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Other triads

- Harmonic Triads -

How types handle conflict, coping mechanism

Reactive (4, 6, 8)

Reactive types are not afraid to show and speak about their true feelings. They may seem "dramatic" in a way.

4: Melodramatic and self absorbed in negative feelings, drowns in intensity

6: Will argue, stick up for the right thing, moody, anxious

8: Big and loud reactions, can be very fiery

Positive (2, 7, 9)

Positive types dislike negativity and conflict and have their own ways of avoiding such tension. Optimistic during hard times.

2: Actively tries to be a good and kind person, only tries to focus on the good aspects of people

7: Seeks out fun opportunities to make their life exciting (basically distraction)

9: Values harmony and peace, will not risk any type of action that will disturb these values

Competency (1, 3, 5)

Competent types are often perfectionists who want to show their best selves. Objective and rational.

1: Strives to be correct and right, wants to be precise in what they do

3: Represses softer emotions to keep up a certain image, thrives with work/passions so they can be the best at what they do

5: Detached from feelings to remain logical and objective, knowledge seeking

- Hornevian Triads -

Relationships with others, how they get what they want

Assertive (3, 7, 8)

Assertive types go against people to get what they want. Do not back down easily, can seem aggressive and forceful.

3: Pushes through obstacles for achievements, goal oriented

7: Asserts their right to have fun, refuse to be restricted

8: Asserts power and strength, places boundaries

Withdrawn (4, 5, 9)

Withdrawn types are very internalized and do not show their needs openly. Deals with things alone.

4: Feels something is wrong with them internally, feels misunderstood

5: Detached from others as to not drain their own energy, will figure it out themselves

9: Introspective, lets life happen

Compliant (1, 2, 6)

Compliant work with people to get what they want. Builds relationships for security, wants to be helpful to others.

1: Doing the right thing instead of one's own wants

2: Focus on other's needs more instead of self

6: Tries to build a safe and secure environment by getting ppl to work together

- Object Relations -

How we are affected by others, our own affect on others, how we react to personal wounds

Attachment (3, 6, 9)

Seek out bonds and companionships for particular reasons. Individuality vs adaptation.

3: Changes their image to suit whoever they are with in order to meet expectations

6: Creates support systems to help with their self doubt and indecisiveness

9: Adapts to the energy of the environment to keep harmony

Frustration (1, 4, 7)

Triad gets frustrated when their needs aren't met.

1: Has a need to improve every little imperfection they find

4: Dislikes shallowness, longs for depth and complexity

7: Not enjoying experiences, not feeling fulfilled

Rejection (2, 5, 8)

Their own needs feel unimportant to others, so they reject their own needs as well.

2: Rejects the need to receive love and guidance, instead focuses on connecting with others and helping them.

5: Ignores and minimizes all their needs, offers knowledge and expertise in some hope of being acknowledged for their intelligence.

8: Rejects by being never putting their guard down, wanting to appear strong and as the protector of others.

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Subtypes

Claudio Naranjo theory

There are three subtypes/instinctual variants that show our drive in life. There are 27 different subtypes in total.

Self Preservation (Sp)

Focuses on physical safety and security. Our physical health, financial security, obligations, and comforts.

Sexual/One - on - one (Sx)

Wants intensity and deep connections, one on one relationships are preferred.

Social (So)

Prefers to be in a community, wants to create good connections and bonds with others. Socially aware, focus on group goals and contributions.

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Tritype

Katherine Fauvre theory

A minor but still interesting piece of Enneagram. Tritype is formed of your 3 dominant types from each center. The first number will always be your core, followed by your other 2 dominant types.

E.g 369. 3 = core, heart. 6 = head. 9 = gut.

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Enneagram notes

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