𝓐𝓯𝓽𝓮𝓻𝓶𝓪𝓽𝓱 𝓸𝓯 𝓣𝓱𝓮 𝓔𝔁𝓪𝓶

𝓐𝓯𝓽𝓮𝓻𝓶𝓪𝓽𝓱 𝓸𝓯 𝓣𝓱𝓮 𝓔𝔁𝓪𝓶

𝐼𝓃𝓈𝓅𝒾𝓇𝑒𝒹 𝒷𝓎 𝒥𝒾𝓂ち 𝒜𝒮𝑀𝑅'𝓈 𝒞𝒪𝒟 𝒱𝒾𝒹𝑒𝑜𝓈

𝒪𝓇𝒾𝑔𝒾𝓃𝒶𝓁 𝒾𝒹𝑒𝒶 𝒷𝓎 @/𝒩𝑜𝓋𝒶𝓁𝓅𝓁𝒶𝓃𝓉𝓈 𝑜𝓃 𝒴𝑜𝓊𝒯𝓊𝒷𝑒 (𝒾𝓃 𝒸𝑜𝓂𝓂𝑒𝓃𝓉 𝓈𝑒𝒸𝓉𝒾𝑜𝓃 𝑜𝒻 𝑜𝓃𝑒 𝑜𝒻 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝓋𝒾𝒹𝑒𝑜𝓈)

𝐹𝒶𝓃𝒹𝑜𝓂: 𝒞𝒶𝓁𝓁 𝑜𝒻 𝒟𝓊𝓉𝓎

𝒲𝑜𝓇𝒹 𝒸𝑜𝓊𝓃𝓉: 𝟤.𝟨𝓀 (𝓅𝒶𝑔𝑒 𝒸𝑜𝓊𝓃𝓉: 𝟧)

𝑅𝑒𝓁𝒶𝓉𝒾𝑜𝓃𝓈𝒽𝒾𝓅: 𝒢𝑒𝓃𝒹𝑒𝓇-𝓃𝑒𝓊𝓉𝓇𝒶𝓁 𝓇𝑒𝒶𝒹𝑒𝓇/𝒴𝑜𝓊 & 𝒮𝒾𝓂𝑜𝓃 "𝒢𝒽𝑜𝓈𝓉" 𝑅𝒾𝓁𝑒𝓎

𝒯𝒶𝑔𝓈: 𝒯𝓇𝓊𝓈𝓉 𝒾𝓈𝓈𝓊𝑒𝓈, 𝒾𝓂𝓅𝓁𝒾𝑒𝒹/𝓇𝑒𝒻𝑒𝓇𝑒𝓃𝒸𝑒 𝓅𝓈𝓎𝒸𝒽𝑜𝓁𝑜𝑔𝒾𝒸𝒶𝓁 𝓉𝓇𝒶𝓊𝓂𝒶, 𝒾𝓂𝓅𝓁𝒾𝑒𝒹/𝓇𝑒𝒻𝑒𝓇𝑒𝓃𝒸𝑒 𝓈𝑒𝓁𝒻-𝒽𝒶𝓇𝓂, 𝒾𝓂𝓅𝓁𝒾𝑒𝒹/𝓇𝑒𝒻𝑒𝓇𝑒𝓃𝒸𝑒 𝓉𝑜𝓇𝓉𝓊𝓇𝑒, 𝒷𝑜𝓃𝒹𝒾𝓃𝑔, 𝒹𝑒𝓋𝑒𝓁𝑜𝓅𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝒻𝓇𝒾𝑒𝓃𝒹𝓈𝒽𝒾𝓅, 𝒜𝒮𝑀𝑅 𝒻𝒶𝓃𝒻𝒾𝒸, 𝐹𝓁𝓊𝒻𝒻, 𝒽𝓊𝓇𝓉/𝒸𝑜𝓂𝒻𝑜𝓇𝓉/𝑒𝓂𝑜𝓉𝒾𝑜𝓃𝒶𝓁 𝒽𝓊𝓇𝓉, 𝓂𝑒𝓃𝓉𝒶𝓁 𝒽𝑒𝒶𝓁𝓉𝒽 𝒾𝓈𝓈𝓊𝑒𝓈, 𝓂𝑒𝓃𝓉𝒶𝓁 𝒾𝓃𝓈𝓉𝒶𝒷𝒾𝓁𝒾𝓉𝓎

𝒮𝓊𝓂𝓂𝒶𝓇𝓎: 𝒲𝑒𝑒𝓀𝓈 𝒽𝒶𝒹 𝓅𝒶𝓈𝓈𝑒𝒹 𝓈𝒾𝓃𝒸𝑒 𝒯𝒶𝓈𝓀 𝐹𝑜𝓇𝒸𝑒 𝟣𝟦𝟣 𝓅𝓊𝓉 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝓉𝒽𝓇𝑜𝓊𝑔𝒽 𝓉𝒽𝒶𝓉 𝒽𝑜𝓇𝓇𝒾𝒷𝓁𝑒 𝓉𝓇𝒶𝓊𝓂𝒶𝓉𝒾𝒸 𝑒𝓍𝓅𝑒𝓇𝒾𝑒𝓃𝒸𝑒 𝒻𝓇𝑜𝓂 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝑒𝓍𝒶𝓂 𝓉𝑜 𝑔𝒶𝒾𝓃 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝒶𝒸𝒸𝑒𝓈𝓈 𝓉𝑜 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝐵𝐵𝒞 (𝐵𝒾𝑔 𝐵𝑜𝓎𝓈 𝒞𝓁𝓊𝒷 𝒶 𝓃𝒶𝓂𝑒 𝓉𝒽𝒶𝓉 𝒫𝓇𝒾𝒸𝑒 𝒸𝑜𝓂𝑒 𝓊𝓅 𝓌𝒾𝓉𝒽 𝑒𝓋𝑒𝓃 𝓉𝒽𝑜𝓊𝑔𝒽 𝒾𝓉'𝓈 𝓁𝑒𝑔𝒶𝓁 𝒸𝑜𝓅𝓎𝓇𝒾𝑔𝒽𝓉𝑒𝒹 𝓃𝒶𝓂𝑒𝒹 𝑜𝒻 𝐵𝓇𝒾𝓉𝒶𝒾𝓃 𝐵𝓇𝑜𝒶𝒹𝒸𝒶𝓈𝓉𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝒩𝑒𝓌𝓈 𝒩𝑒𝓉𝓌𝑜𝓇𝓀). 𝑒𝓋𝑒𝓃 𝓉𝒽𝑜𝓊𝑔𝒽, 𝓎𝑜𝓊'𝓇𝑒 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝓃𝑒𝓌𝑒𝓈𝓉 𝓇𝑜𝑜𝓀𝒾𝑒 𝑜𝓃 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝒻𝑜𝓇𝒸𝑒𝓈 𝓌𝒾𝓉𝒽 𝒸𝒶𝓁𝓁𝓈𝒾𝑔𝓃 "𝒮𝓊𝑔𝒶𝓇𝒸𝓊𝒷𝑒" 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝒸𝑜𝓊𝓁𝒹𝓃'𝓉 𝒷𝓇𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝓎𝑜𝓊𝓇𝓈𝑒𝓁𝒻 𝓉𝑜 𝓉𝓇𝓊𝓈𝓉 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝒷𝑜𝓎𝓈 𝒹𝑜𝓃𝑒 𝓉𝑜 𝓌𝒽𝒶𝓉 𝓉𝒽𝑒𝓎 𝓅𝓊𝓉 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝓉𝒽𝓇𝑜𝓊𝑔𝒽 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝓌𝒾𝓉𝒽𝒹𝓇𝒶𝓌𝓃 𝓎𝑜𝓊𝓇𝓈𝑒𝓁𝒻 𝒻𝓇𝑜𝓂 𝓉𝒽𝑒𝓂 𝒷𝓎 𝒹𝑜𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝑒𝓍𝓉𝓇𝑒𝓂𝑒 𝓉𝓇𝒶𝒾𝓃𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝓉𝑜 𝓅𝓊𝓈𝒽 𝓎𝑜𝓊𝓇𝓈𝑒𝓁𝒻 𝒽𝒶𝓇𝒹𝑒𝓇 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝑔𝒾𝓋𝑒 𝓎𝑜𝓊𝓇𝓈𝑒𝓁𝒻 𝓈𝑜𝓂𝑒𝓉𝒽𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝓉𝑜 𝒹𝑜 𝓊𝓃𝓉𝒾𝓁 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝐿.𝒯 𝓉𝒶𝓁𝓀 𝓉𝑜 𝓎𝑜𝓊

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It's been weeks since you've been through that traumatizing experience that the 141 Task force and its members put you through. You keep having recurring night terrors replaying the memories of König giving you actual electric shock torture. and Captain Price firing his gun against your forehead loaded with blank bullets to scare the living shit out of you. The nightmares felt real, altering little details between the two experiences, events, and memories together. To the point you feel yourself bleeding, injured, burned, electrocuted, or even dead.

And each time you feel yourself dying from your dream injuries or slipping into unconsciousness of darkness warm hands on you. Your body response by jolt your wide awake sometimes makes you stand up on your bed. Making sure that you're still alive with heavy breathing, rapid heart beats, and night sweats of anxiety trying to cool you down. Even though you're the only rookie that joined the task force and wakes in their bunker in the middle of the night in their own barracks. Sleep won't come back easily to your body due to the nightmares that affect you both emotionally and mentally. 

You get yourself dressed in your workout clothes/training uniform, then sneak your way through the occupied barracks of your fellow members and avoid your fellow peers on night duty. silently making your way out to the field behind the base that's been used as a running track for training and drills. The dim light of the moon and nearby lampposts give you some illumination in the area. Without even thinking or your body switching on autopilot, you started to run laps around the semi-moist grass field until you couldn't anymore. Feeling the exhaustion, pain, and aches from the late night run. You slowly, and quietly make your way back to your barracks.

Being cautious with your surroundings and not to wake anyone up. After some time you made it back to your room, closing the door behind you, removing the workout clothing you wear for the run to switch back to your uniform, climbing back into bed, and letting the friendly return of sleep slowly return to your body. closing your eyes and letting it embrace you as an old friend. To help you get some rest and relaxation to your exhausting body.

The time is now 0645. You wake up an hour earlier to get yourself dressed and not looking like shit before heading out to the training area. Luckily for you no one knows about your late night run, and you're thankful for that piece of calmness for your mental health. Now you and fellow soldiers are waiting for the instructor to show up to begin your day. You try brewing yourself some relaxing tea, reading, and even some form of mental activities to keep your mind busy but all seem to temporarily work. To keep the nightmare and demons at bay you have been forcing on your training more and improving your skills.

Avoiding the boys any chance you could get except for team briefings and training to improve team trust and bonding. In all honesty you still hated them for the mental fuck up they give you. You didn't know when or how this happened but you started to slowly withdraw from your duties on base and eat a bit under your normal calories intake during meal time. Even sitting alone at the table to give you some form of inner peace from your mental battle. There are times that some of the members will ask you if you're feeling alright Or if you have a heavy load of duties around base that keep you out of sight for half the day. 

You always response to these questions with a "yea, yes sir" 

Even jokingly respond with "Yea, just this workload is just making me feel like I'm doing overtime but I ain't complaining about it. Everyone has their role around here to keep the base functional and I'm just doing my part either major or minor. Beside you can't operate something that's missing parts to make it function." 

Keeping the conversation at a minimum and not taking too much time with their busy schedules. So far the response you give seems to satisfy them enough to not disturb you any further. But that didn't help prevent potential spread of worry among some in base. You've been on autopilot and repeating the same thing you do day in and day out. Working out in the base gym, doing extra target practice and drills in your free time, late night laps around the base past curfew, and asking for additional duties on and around base to be added on your schedule. Just to keep yourself busy and avoid the negative voices in your head and the glares of the team.

You kept this little coping method going for the next few weeks, until it wouldn’t be kept at the bare minimum in the public eyes any longer. Captain Price starts noticing your lack of attendees in both team related training and meetings. While Soap and Gaz try to get you to open up and share what's bothering your mind these past weeks, back asking you if you want to grab a drink at the local pub with them. You alway politely decline the offer due to you not being much of a drinker and smoker each time they ask and it’s starting to annoy you a bit. Lieutenant Ghost seems you aren't your usual self since after the exam and been taking mental notes of your changes of character and body language. 

To the point that you feel his glance watching over you like a hawk every hour throughout the day. While you’re working, and doing some extra training throughout the week. Seeing you pushing yourself to your limits being a bit reckless with your body not giving it time to recover. It got to the point that you almost passed out during one of your drills with sergeant Gaz. That he and some of your peers have to carry you to the medical bay to get examined and receive a lecture by the nurse hours after you regain consciousness. Price and Gaz come in to visit you after the nurse takes their leave.

“You’re alright Sugarcube? Gaz here was just explaining to me that you passed out during training this evening. Is there something that you would like to tell us?” Price asks you to keep his voice steady and calm.

You look up at both of them feeling a bit faded still, but hestanted to respond at first. not knowing if you sure tell him the truth or keep pretending that everything is fine for his sake. Since he was the one to put you through that fucked up exam in the first place. Sighing you look up at them trying to find the words that make this situation make sense.

“Captain, Sergeant, I have something to confess, I…” 

“Go on Rookie, you have the floor.” Price encourages you by giving you one of his famous warm smiles. While Gaz left the room to give you both some privacy to make things easier for you. You honestly wish that he should have stayed in the room, and not leave you alone with the captain. Wishing that this was a nightmare and that you’re still unconscious. 

“Captain, I have been trying out a new health diet and supplement pills that were shipped from home. I guess it wasn't for me in the long run and I should probably send them back or toss them in the trash, and send a letter to my folks. They aren’t really tech savvy but it’s best to tell them the truth, I’m truly sorry that I worry you guys. It’s just that I've been dealing with some personal issues lately.”

The captain stares at you for a bit making you feel like a moth in a jar being watched. It wasn’t a complete lie that you told him. Your family from overseas keeps shipping you items from home every month to help you with homesickness. At first it was a sweet gesture but now it’s being a bit of an annoyance. Since some of the items are either personal or false advertisements, the guys like to make fun of you for it. Price let out a sigh, breaking your trace of thoughts and seeing him lifting up his hat slightly from his forehead.

“Alright, Sugarcube, I’ll put you on a week-long break from any field and base duties while you sort your personal issues. But that doesn’t mean you can skip out on your training. I’ll temporarily assign someone to watch over you until then don’t be a weak muppet alright?”

“Aye sir, and thank you.” you respond to him respectfully hiding a bit of your anxiety from your voice that hasn't settled down during your conversation with him.  

Then he left the room leaving you alone with your thoughts.

**************

The cold early morning temperature reminds you of home when you have to wake up early to help the family out with apples and orange harvesting. It was the last thing you did with them before you were called into service in the task force. Of course family say their heartfelt goodbyes and remind you to eat well, behave well, and do what you were told by your commander. You take a deep slow breath, steady your aim and fire your sniper to the paper target. Firing 3 rounds before getting up and examining your accuracy skill, the three shots hit the paper target in the right places. But you ain’t improve with the lack of bullets used in this exercise.

Since the objective was to provide sniper support with the usage of a limited amount of ammo to either kill or disable your target at a far distance. You rip the paper target from its place, replace it with a brand new one in its place in a different angle and position. Ghost was observing you from the corner not saying anything to you after you came back to your assigned position. You both haven’t talked since the coffee date, and at the end of the exam it was a shock to you that he was the one who knocked on your door. Waking you up from your slumber, asked you to get dressed, and meet him at the gun range well it was more of an order than a ask. Knowing and hearing stories and rumors about him from the others around the base, you did what he asked you to do either due to fear or uneasiness on what he planned to do with you.

You set your sniper down on the table as a signal to the lieutenant you're ready for your next challenge. And take a few steps away from the table with your back turned. Ghost walks up towards the table assembling and adding a random amount of bullets in the sniper mags. Both of you don't speak letting the silence linger between you two then it was required. You know the lieutenant is a strong muscular person with similar experiences in the military like Captain Price. You heard the rumors by others on base why he wears a skull balaclava ranging from honoring an dear old friend to hiding his identity/face due to some naughty injury or legal shit that only he and Price know about.  It wasn’t your place or business to know about the details so you leave it alone.

That was then and this is now and it doesn’t help that there's a possibility Ghost will get on you and give you an hardcore training routine. Or a write up and lecture from Price for the slightest disobedience or out of line tone. Back in boot camp you and your fellow peers learned to be obedient dogs, never question or judge your ranking officers’ orders even if it resulted in death. You’re starting to even question your choices with the demons coming back to attack you once again. You were so deep in your thoughts that you didn’t notice the lieutenant finished with the sniper on the table and placing his hand on your shoulder lightly.

“Oi, you’re alright Sugarcube? You seem a bit out of it for the past few weeks bloody hell, almost a month. What’s eating you alive inside?” he asks you with a bit of concern that leaks out of his rough voice and let go of your shoulder cause you to snap out of your traces. Not knowing how to respond to him properly.

“Aye, I’m alright lieutenant, just been deep in the woods about some things, it’s nothing too corcering to share about tho. Let’s just continue with the exercise and call it a day alright?” you say lying through your tongue trying not to worry him more. You went to grab the sniper off the table. And repeat the process again; find a good position, take everything in account, take deep breaths, steady yourself, aim, and fire on the paper target repeatedly until there’s no ammonation left. And set the snip down against the wooden wall of the range. You seem a bit disappointed with the result but it can be fixed with a bit more practice. You’re about to change the paper target again when Ghost stops you and places his hand in face of you.

“Rookie, you have been withdrawing from your responsibility and training in and around base, along with avoiding team briefing and training that involves mandatory attendance. You’re also been avoiding your teammates as well. Look, whatever you told Price won’t work on me. So I’ll ask again, are you alright?”

You feel your face flaring up in anger, shame, and embarrassment that you can’t escape now or even pretend that everything is alright. That you know deep down you aren’t okay and need to talk to someone about it. Sighing deeply you look up, staring at his brown color eyes there’s not turning back now. You told him everything about the aftermath of the exam and how it fuck up your mental and emotional state. And the reason why you were withdrawn for your duties and avoiding the 141 as a whole. Along with the whole nightmare of being torture being so real. After you’re done telling him what’s on your chest, you look away feeling stupid and small for letting this shit bother you for so long.

Ghost didn’t say anything while you told him your troubles listening and saying no words during this ordeal. He knows what you've been through and what you have endured during the exam. He told Price to go easy on you when he saw you and didn’t pull the “traumatize the rookie even more” card. Even though Price reassured him that it’ll be fine he still did anyway. All of them were surprised that you passed it without cracking under the pressure. But he’ll have to pay König a visit when he returns to teach him some less lethal torture methods to use on the new batch of recruits. 

Ghost looks around to make sure that both of you are truthly alone, and gently offers you a quick hug being careful with not hurting you or your body due to his buff form and strength. You were shocked by the action then slowly hugged him back gently and slowly feeling the floodgates of tears about to open. He holds you a bit closer against his body and gently rubs your back. After a long tearful silent comforting session between teammates, both you and the lieutenant left the gun range with everything back to their rightful place and a bit of clean up. With him leading you toward the office of one of the base therapists to help you get a fresh start on your recovery journey. Along with fresh new start on trust, developing bonds, and friendship among your peers throughout your new career within the military.