Nonsense - S.jy

My name is Abed.

I’m a survivor from Gaza, holding on to hope in a world that has fallen apart around me. 💔

The life I once knew — my home, my family, my sense of safety — has been shattered by war. Today, I live among the ruins, trying to find a path forward through the rubble and heartbreak. 🏚

Every moment is a battle against fear and uncertainty. What was once ordinary — a safe place to sleep, a future to dream of — now feels like a distant memory. 🕊️

I share my story not to seek pity, but to keep hope alive — to believe that even in the darkest places, kindness can still find a way. 🤍

If my story touches your heart, please consider sharing it or offering support. Every voice, every act of care, brings me one step closer to safety. ✨

Thank you for taking the time to listen. 🙏

Post Link

i’ll keep you in my prayers <3 sending light love and hope for better days! 🫶🏼🫶🏼

min’s tracklist

⤑ lee heeseung (이희승)

──. ♬ ݁˖ mix 1: you broke me first

⤑ park jongseong (박종성)

ׂ╰┈➤ producing mixtapes…

⤑ sim jaeyun (심재윤)

──. ♬ ݁˖ mix 1: nonsense

⤑ park sunghoon (박성훈)

ׂ╰┈➤ producing mixtapes…

⤑ kim sunoo (김선우)

ׂ╰┈➤ producing mixtapes…

⤑ yang jungwon (양정원)

ׂ╰┈➤ producing mixtapes…

⤑ nishimura riki (西村力)

──. ♬ ݁˖ mix 1: anxiety

MORNING.ᐟ

pairingᝰ.ᐟ nishimura riki x reader

genreᝰ.ᐟ smut

warningsᝰ.ᐟ somnophilia, unprotected sex, overstimulation, fingering, oral (f), etc.

natty's notesᝰ.ᐟ request, mdni, hate comments will be deleted.

the morning stretches out lazily around you, golden light slipping through the curtains in gentle slivers, casting soft shadows across the room. outside, the world is quiet—only the faint chirping of birds and the occasional rustle of wind threading through the trees. it’s peaceful, calm, the kind of morning that wraps itself around your limbs like warm silk. but inside, beneath the covers, the mood is anything but tranquil.

riki lies beside you, body tense, breath uneven. he’s been tossing and turning for what feels like hours, his sleep fractured by the ache pulsing between his legs and the impossible heat of your body so close to his. every time he shifts, every brush of the sheets, every accidental graze of his skin against yours—it only makes it worse. his cock is hard, throbbing beneath the thin fabric of his boxers, the pressure almost unbearable now as it presses against the curve of your back.

you’re still sleeping, soft and unaware, your breath slow and even. your body’s curved in toward him just slightly, warm and inviting beneath the blanket, and it’s driving him insane. his mind won’t stop racing—images of you from the night before, the way your lips had looked when you pouted, the way your shorts had ridden up your thighs, the sound of your laughter echoing in his ears. now, with nothing but a few inches of space between you and the weight of morning silence, those thoughts spiral deeper, darker, more desperate.

his hand moves without fully thinking—slow, cautious, trembling. it finds your waist first, fingers brushing lightly against your bare skin. he freezes for a moment, just listening to your breathing, waiting to see if you stir. but you don’t. so he lets his hand drift lower, tracing the soft curve of your belly, the warmth there making his throat go dry. his thumb strokes back and forth gently, almost soothing, but his mind is anything but calm.

his hips shift closer, and you feel it then—the hard press of him against your lower back, thick and unrelenting, even through the barrier of clothes. he sucks in a quiet breath, biting down on his lip as he fights the urge to rut against you, to let the friction offer him even the smallest bit of relief. he doesn’t mean to wake you, doesn’t mean to take advantage of the moment. he just wants to feel you, wants to pretend for just a second longer that you’re his—that he can have this, have you, without consequence.

he knows he shouldn’t. not without you awake. not without you looking at him with those sleepy, soft eyes and whispering his name the way that drives him fucking crazy. but the temptation is unbearable, gnawing at him from the inside out. he wants to test it—to see just how much he can get away with before you stir, before the dreamlike quiet of the morning shatters into something heavier. something messier.

he’s desperate to feel you. to feel the way your walls flutter and clench around him, warm and wet and so fucking perfect. the thought alone makes his hips twitch forward instinctively, grinding the length of his cock against the curve of your lower back in a slow, pathetic thrust that drags a needy whine from his lips. he bites down hard on his tongue, trying to keep quiet, but the friction barely helps—it only makes him crave more. need more.

his hands tremble slightly as they slide down your sides, slow and careful, brushing over your skin like he’s trying not to wake you. when his fingers hook into the waistband of your shorts, he hesitates for just a second, eyes flicking to your face. still soft. still sleeping. so he tugs—gently at first, then more confidently—until the thin fabric slips down your thighs, pooling at the edge of the bed, forgotten. he adjusts one of your legs, just enough to part them slightly, enough for him to fit between.

he works his own sweats down with practiced ease, dragging them past his hips and kicking them off without a sound. his cock springs free, flushed red and dripping, the cool air of the room making him hiss quietly. one hand wraps around the base, fingers squeezing just enough to make his stomach flutter. the other reaches for you, settling on the curve of your ass, kneading the soft flesh there like he’s starving for it. you’re so warm, so pliant, your body molded perfectly into his as he scoots closer, chest pressing firmly to your back, pelvis nudging into you.

your ass is pushed up now, a beautiful arch formed in your sleep, and he takes it as an invitation he can’t resist. his hips shift forward, his cock nestled right between your folds, the thick head gliding along your slit, smearing his precum into the slick already gathered there. he groans, quiet and strained, the sound muffled as he buries his face in your shoulder. it’s too much. it’s not enough.

then—he pushes in.

slowly. painfully slowly. the tip of his cock parts you, stretching your entrance as your walls begin to welcome him in, warm and wet and perfect. his breath catches, and his eyes clamp shut, brows furrowed as he sinks in deeper, inch by inch. your walls hug him so tightly it almost hurts, and his mouth falls open in a silent moan, his teeth catching his bottom lip as he fights to stay quiet. it’s like your body knows him—even in sleep. like it wants him.

he chokes back a louder sound when he bottoms out, hips pressed flush against your ass, cock fully buried in your warmth. he stays still for a moment, trembling with restraint, the pleasure so sharp it nearly brings tears to his eyes.

“fuck,” he breathes, barely a whisper. “you feel… s-so good…”

his hips move forward in a slow, deliberate thrust, every inch of him dragging against your slick, warm walls as he sinks back in with a quiet gasp. he’s trying—trying so hard to take it slow, to feel every tight pulse of your cunt wrapped around him like it was made to keep him there. the pace is lazy, drawn-out, but it’s laced with desperation, with the kind of need that makes his muscles tremble as he grinds deeper into your body. your skin is soft under him, your warmth pulling him in further with each slow, aching roll of his hips.

you stir beneath him, the smallest shift of your body, a soft sigh that escapes your lips—but he doesn’t stop. he doesn’t even flinch. he’s too far gone, too wrapped up in the way your pussy clenches around him so perfectly, like it knows exactly who he is and what he wants. his head falls forward, breath shaky against the back of your neck as he presses his hips in again, groaning low as your warmth swallows him whole.

his hands slide up beneath your shirt, palms gliding across your stomach, trailing higher until they find your bare breasts. his breath stutters the second he realizes you’re not wearing a bra—just bare skin, warm and soft in his hands, like you knew this would happen. like you wanted it. he groans against your ear, the sound deep and raw, vibrating against your skin.

“fuckkk…” he breathes, fingers curling around the swell of your chest, thumbs brushing over your nipples as his cock drags deep inside you again. your walls flutter around him at the same time, and it pulls another moan from his lips, louder this time, more unrestrained. your body feels too good, too tight, too perfect for him to stop now.

“ri…ki…” your voice is soft, barely above a whisper, cracked and sleepy as you shift slightly beneath him. your body arches into his touch, back curving as your eyes slowly blink open, adjusting to the morning light. a tiny whine leaves your throat, breathy and high, and your thighs twitch slightly as the sensation finally registers—he’s inside you. already moving. already moaning for you.

he lifts his head, hair sticking to his forehead with sweat, pupils blown wide as he looks down at you with a mix of guilt and lust so thick it nearly chokes him.

“oh fuck, princess…” he groans, louder now, voice breaking at the edges as your gaze meets his, still hazy and dazed but not fighting him. not stopping him. the way your lips part with another breathy whimper—your hips shifting ever so slightly against his—makes something in him snap.

you feel it—every lazy, deliberate push of his cock inside you. the stretch is slow, deep, almost unbearable in the way it drags against your walls, thick and long and so much that it steals the breath straight from your lungs. he moves with a kind of unhurried hunger, like he’s savoring every second he’s buried in you, like he’s memorizing the way your body reacts with each twitch of his length. and you do—feel every twitch, every pulse, every tremble. it makes your mouth fall open in a soft, broken moan, your body arching instinctively, overwhelmed by how full you are first thing in the morning.

your hands slide up beside your head, fingers curling tight into the pillow as your thighs tremble beneath him. there’s no time to fully process the shock of waking up like this—not when his cock is already thrusting inside you so slowly, so sweetly, and his breath is hot against your ear, murmuring your name in that low, needy voice that makes you clench around him without meaning to. the intrusion of him, the way he fits too perfectly, like your pussy was made to take every inch of him—it’s too much. and yet not enough.

he groans sharply, voice thick with restraint, his rhythm faltering for half a second as your walls squeeze down around him again. “fuck… i’m gonna cum if you keep doing that, baby…” he pants, his voice cracked and breathless, like he’s seconds away from losing all control. his head drops to your shoulder, lips brushing against your skin as his body trembles above yours. his eyes roll back, lashes fluttering as the tight heat of your pussy milks him, and he can barely keep himself grounded.

you don’t stop.

you can’t.

the way he feels inside you—the way his cock presses so deep, twitching uncontrollably with every thrust—it has you dizzy, whimpering into the pillow as your body pushes back into his without thinking. and he feels it. the way you’re not holding back. the way you want it just as badly. his hands grope blindly until they find your breasts again, palms warm and shaking as he squeezes them tight, fingers rolling over your sensitive nipples like he needs something to hold onto before he falls apart.

his moans grow louder, raw and wrecked and deliciously desperate. “shit—oh my god…” he chokes out, hips stuttering as his balls tighten, heavy and aching with the pressure building inside him. he’s so close, you can feel it—the way his body tenses, the way his breath catches with every roll of his hips. and it only makes you clench around him harder, wanting him to lose it. needing him to.

“fuck—yes, riki…” your voice comes out breathy and cracked, your head thrown back against the pillow as your thighs tremble beneath him. you can feel yourself unraveling, pulled taut around him, every nerve alight with how deep he is. he’s pressed up against you completely, his chest slick with sweat against your back, his cock buried to the hilt, so far inside that every thrust has him dragging right over your sweet spot—over and over again, so precise, so perfect it has you gasping.

his pace doesn’t falter. if anything, it gets rougher, more determined, like he needs to hit that spot until you break. his hips snap forward, driving into you again, and again, and again—and every time he does, your body jerks with it, helpless and eager. your fingers tighten around the sheets, back arching when the head of his cock grinds against that sensitive bundle inside you, making your vision blur.

you hear him groan, close to your ear, low and trembling, and it sends another wave of heat crashing through you. “oh fuck… i’m close… fuck, ‘m close, baby…” he whines, his voice strained, wrecked, soaked in desperation. his arm stays locked around your waist, holding you tight against him, while his other hand snakes down your body, urgent and shaky, fingertips sliding right between your legs.

and then he finds it—your clit.

you cry out when his fingers brush over it, soft at first, then firmer as he starts to circle it with slow, deliberate pressure. your walls flutter violently around his cock, your body reacting instantly to the extra stimulation. he moans with you, voice cracked and high, lost in the feel of you squeezing him tighter than ever before.

“fuck, fuck… fuck! ‘m cumming, baby—oh my god, fuck—” his voice breaks into a groan, then a whine, one hand clutching your breast, the other still working your clit as he falls apart.

you feel it before you hear it—his cock twitching hard inside you, pulsing with thick, hot spurts of cum that spill deep into your pussy, coating your walls as his hips stutter helplessly. he doesn’t stop thrusting, not right away. not even as he cums. his body moves on instinct, chasing the aftershocks, wanting to stay buried in your warmth as long as he can. you hear the slick sound of him still moving inside you, still throbbing, still moaning through it.

his breath is ragged against your neck, panting harshly as he comes down from it, his fingers softening but never leaving your clit. his cock twitches one last time, a broken groan falling from his lips, and then he collapses against you, body shuddering, flushed and drenched and completely spent.

but riki doesn’t stop. not even as his chest heaves and sweat drips down his spine, not even as his cock twitches one last time from the intensity of his orgasm. the need for you is still thrumming through his veins like a drug—hot, addictive, insatiable. he pulls out slowly, groaning low in his throat as your walls cling to him, fluttering around nothing, the slick sound of your bodies parting making his breath hitch. he hisses through his teeth at the sight—your pussy clenching from the emptiness, still pulsing, still hungry for more.

you barely register the loss before he’s moving again, quick and desperate, hands firm as he grabs your legs and spreads them apart, settling between them like he belongs there. and he does. his mouth is on you instantly, no hesitation, no teasing—just tongue and lips and hot breath as he dives in, devouring your soaked cunt with unrelenting hunger. he groans the moment he tastes you, loud and guttural, the sound vibrating right against your clit. his tongue flicks over it again and again, then presses flat and slow, dragging upward to collect the mess dripping out of you. a mix of your arousal and his cum coats your folds, and he drinks it down like it’s the sweetest thing he’s ever had.

his hands grip your thighs tighter as he sucks hard, his mouth working your clit in slow circles before his tongue darts down again, fucking into you just to taste more. the wet sounds echo between your legs, obscene and slick and so good it has your head thrown back, your fingers clawing at the sheets. you’re trembling, legs already shaking, overstimulated and still climbing higher.

he pulls away with a soft pop, breathless and flushed, his lips and chin glistening with your slick. his eyes are wild, blown wide and glossy, but they don’t leave the mess between your legs. his cum is still dripping out of you, thick and warm and pooling at your entrance, and the sight alone makes him moan again.

“fuck, look at you, baby…” he breathes, voice wrecked, as he reaches down and slips two fingers into you without warning.

you gasp, your back arching off the bed as his fingers slide in easily, the intrusion messy and loud. his cum spills out around his knuckles, dripping over his hand as he thrusts deep, curling his fingers immediately to find that sweet spot again. and when he does—fuck, it’s over. your thighs jerk, your stomach tightens, and a moan tears from your throat, high and broken.

“riki—fuck, riki, i’m gonna cum—” your voice breaks into a loud, desperate cry as your body coils tighter and tighter, your walls clenching around his fingers like you’re trying to pull them deeper.

he growls, low and full of heat, his fingers moving faster now—relentless, pounding into that spot over and over again until you’re seeing stars behind your eyelids, tears pricking at the corners of your eyes. the wet sounds only grow louder, slick dripping down to the sheets as your body starts to tremble violently.

“that’s it, baby,” he pants, watching your face twist in pleasure. “cum for me. fuck, let me feel you—come on, just give it to me.”

your body’s burning—everywhere—with the kind of pleasure that comes in waves, crashing over you again and again without giving you a chance to breathe. riki’s fingers are merciless, fucking into you with speed and precision that has your legs trembling uncontrollably on either side of his head. the pressure is building fast, dangerously fast, coiling low in your stomach, a tight, unbearable ache that has you gasping for air, your moans spilling out freely now, loud and high and wrecked.

he never lets up. not for a second. his fingers curl again, and this time, he stays pressed there, dragging over your sweet spot with every thrust. his mouth latches back onto your clit, sucking hard—filthy, wet sounds echoing in the room, your slick dripping down his wrist and coating his chin. he moans into you again and again, desperate and unashamed, like the taste of you is making him drunk.

“riki—fuck, oh my god—don’t stop, i—i’m gonna—” you can’t finish the sentence. your whole body locks up, your legs snap shut around his head, and your hips jerk forward without warning as the orgasm hits you like a train.

your vision whites out.

you scream his name, voice breaking into a sob as your walls clench down hard around his fingers. your back arches off the bed as the pressure explodes, and a gush of slick shoots out of you, soaking riki’s hand, his mouth, the sheets beneath you. the pleasure is so sharp it’s almost painful, your thighs twitching violently as you squirt all over him, completely helpless to stop it.

and riki fucking moans.

loud.

needy.

his tongue doesn’t stop—if anything, he’s messier now, chasing every drop with frantic licks, letting it spill down his chin and moaning against your clit like he’s been starving for this moment. his eyes are fluttered shut, face buried between your thighs as he grinds into the mattress, rutting into the sheets like he can’t take it anymore.

“fuck, baby—holy shit—you’re so wet, fuck, you taste so good,” he whimpers, his voice completely fucked out, high and breathless. his fingers keep moving, just a little slower now, easing you through the high while his lips press wet, open-mouthed kisses along your trembling inner thighs.

your body is limp, twitching, legs spread wide and shaking as he finally slows down. you're still dripping, thighs slick with cum and spit and everything in between, your cunt fluttering from the aftershocks, clenching down around nothing now that he’s pulled his fingers out with a slick pop.

he doesn’t move far. just rests his cheek against your thigh, breathing hard, lips still parted like he’s dazed.

“you squirted so much for me,” he murmurs, almost in awe, fingers idly rubbing the slick between your folds. “fuck, you’re unreal…”

his eyes flick up to yours, and the look on his face—flushed, wrecked, completely pussy drunk—is enough to steal your breath all over again.

and when he leans in again, tongue flicking out to lap up the mess between your thighs, you know he’s nowhere near done.

you’re still gasping, your lungs aching for air as they try to keep up with the rapid, uneven rise and fall of your chest. your limbs are trembling, boneless, completely limp beneath the weight of your own release. your fingers twitch uselessly against the damp sheets, the fabric twisted and soaked beneath you. your whole body feels like it’s buzzing, like your nerves are short-circuiting—caught somewhere between exhaustion and the lingering high of your orgasm.

your thighs are still spread, sticky and weak, barely able to hold themselves up as they tremble with the aftershocks. you feel them ripple through you—those deep, involuntary pulses of your pussy still fluttering around nothing. your clit throbs violently, so sensitive that even the ghost of cool air brushing over it makes your whole body flinch. every inch of you is soaked—your inner thighs, the base of your spine, the space beneath your ass—slick with your cum, his spit, the remnants of everything he’s already pulled out of you. and yet, somehow, you know it’s not over.

because riki doesn’t move far.

he stays between your legs for a moment, face just inches from your overstimulated pussy, lips parted, breath ragged. his chin is glistening, his mouth shiny, and the look on his face is something between awe and obsession. he looks dazed. fucked out. starved. the sounds leaving his throat are low, nearly silent—tiny, shaky whines that sound like he’s barely holding himself together. and then he moves.

he crawls up your body slowly, like he’s climbing out of a dream, kissing every inch of skin he can reach along the way. his lips find your inner thigh first, then your hipbone, then the soft swell of your stomach, leaving wet, open-mouthed kisses on the places you’re still twitching. he mouths at your skin like he’s trying to stay grounded, like if he stops touching you, he’ll forget how to breathe. his hands roam again, slower now, sliding up your waist and beneath your shirt, fingers splayed as they glide over your ribs before cupping your breasts again like he needs them. he groans when he feels how sensitive they still are, thumbs brushing over your swollen nipples until you arch into him with a shaky gasp.

his face finally reaches yours, and he pauses—hovering over you, flushed and panting, his bangs sticking to his damp forehead. his cheeks are dusted a deep, lust-drunk pink, his lips puffy and wet. he looks at you like you’re unreal, like he can’t believe he gets to have this, have you. his eyes flick down to your lips, then back up, and the kiss he gives you is slow and deep and messy—tongue sliding against yours with the same desperation he just had between your legs.

you moan into his mouth, still dazed, still trembling, the taste of yourself on his tongue only making your stomach flip. your body jerks when his cock brushes your folds again—hot and heavy, pressed between your slick thighs. even through the haze of overstimulation, you can feel how hard he still is, how needy he’s become.

“you’re so fucking perfect,” he whispers against your lips, his voice hoarse, broken. “you drive me fucking insane…”

he doesn’t even have to line himself up. your pussy is soaked—wet and loose from how hard you came, slick and swollen and so ready that the thick head of his cock just slides right back into you with barely a push. you both gasp at the feeling—your body arching off the bed, his hips faltering as he sinks all the way in.

“fuck—still so tight,” he groans, voice cracking, his forehead pressing to yours as his cock stretches you open again. you sob out a cry, your walls fluttering violently around him as your body tries to adjust.

the overstimulation is immediate and brutal.

your cunt is already twitching from the last orgasm, so sensitive it’s almost painful—and now it’s full again. his cock drags against every part of you, the friction sharp and overwhelming. you whimper into his shoulder, fingers curling around his arms, nails digging into his sweat-slicked skin.

“riki—ah, f-fuck—it’s too much,” you breathe, voice high and shaking, your head falling back against the pillow. “i can’t—i can’t—”

but he doesn’t stop.

he thrusts slow but deep, grinding into you with a slow roll of his hips that makes you feel every single inch. his cock presses against your sweet spot on every thrust, dragging across that soft, swollen bundle deep inside you like he knows exactly what it’s doing to you.

“i know, baby,” he pants, kissing your jaw, your neck, your collarbone. “i know it’s a lot—but just give me one more, yeah? just one more. i need it.”

his hips snap harder now, a wet slap echoing with every thrust. your bodies are so slick, so sticky, that the sounds are obscene, soaking the sheets beneath you as your cunt tightens around him with every movement. you’re so full. so overstimulated. so close to falling apart again.

his hand slides between your bodies, fingers finding your clit without hesitation, rubbing tight little circles, fast and precise. you cry out, your voice loud and broken as your hips buck up against him.

“c’mon, baby,” he groans, his breath stuttering. “make a mess for me again. i know you can. squirt all over me. fuck—i want it.”

your moans are pure sobs now, high-pitched and uncontrollable, the pressure building faster than you can handle. your thighs spasm. your nails dig deeper. your body starts to curl inward, desperate to find something to hold onto as the wave builds harder, deeper, dangerously high.

“riki—fuck, i—i can’t—i’m gonna—!”

“do it,” he growls, mouth hot at your ear, his voice falling apart. “cum for me. fuck—soak me, baby. show me how good i make you feel—please—”

your body breaks in waves, shuddering beneath him as that unbearable pressure finally snaps—ripping through your core with the kind of intensity that robs you of your breath and leaves your vision flashing white. it hits you so fast, so hard, it almost doesn’t feel real—like your body’s floating and falling at the same time. your mouth opens in a cry that doesn’t fully form, your voice caught in your throat, too overwhelmed to even scream.

your hips jerk uncontrollably. your back arches off the soaked sheets, spine curving in pure reflex as the orgasm explodes from deep inside you. and then it happens—your whole body convulses as a violent gush of slick sprays out of you, splashing over his hips, your thighs, the bed, everywhere.

riki moans like you’ve just touched heaven itself.

his head snaps up from where he’s been kissing your shoulder, eyes wide, lips parted, absolutely drenched in the sight of you falling apart for him. “fuuuck—oh my god, baby,” he gasps, breath hitching on every syllable like it physically hurts him to see you like this and not lose it. “you’re—fuck, you’re squirting, you’re actually—holy shit.”

he sounds delirious. undone. pussy drunk in the truest sense of the word.

you feel him twitch inside you, feel his hands grabbing at your waist like he needs to anchor himself, like if he doesn’t hold you he might just fucking break apart. and the overstimulation only gets worse from there—his cock still buried inside, still grinding into your fluttering walls, dragging through the sensitive, soaked mess you’ve made with every tiny movement of his hips.

your thighs are trembling violently, muscles spasming with aftershocks you can’t control. your hands grip at his shoulders, his hair, the sheets—whatever you can find, whatever keeps you tethered while your body spirals through the afterglow of your release. more slick gushes out of you, another uncontrollable burst that sprays between your legs, soaking his abdomen and the bed beneath you. it just keeps coming—wet and warm and messy—and riki is losing his fucking mind.

he moans again, louder this time, voice trembling as his eyes roll back for just a second, completely overwhelmed. “that’s it, baby, fuck—keep going, don’t stop—soak me,” he groans, and then he’s kissing you, his mouth crashing against yours in a desperate, open-mouthed kiss full of tongue and need. his hips are stuttering now, thrusts sloppy and shallow, fucking you through the mess, like he doesn’t know how to stop. like your pussy is too good. like your body owns him.

and in that moment—it does.

his hand slips between your bodies again, fingers finding your clit even though it’s throbbing, swollen, unbearably sensitive. he rubs soft circles, drawing out every drop, every twitch, and your legs jerk hard, another sob ripping from your throat as your vision blurs with tears. the overstimulation has you screaming, crying his name, your body convulsing beneath him with each new burst of pleasure that has no place being this strong.

“shhh, baby, you’re okay, i’ve got you,” he whispers, but his voice is broken, thick, like he’s crying too. “just let it out—god, you’re so fucking perfect—look at how much you’re cumming for me…”

another wave hits, and this one has you sobbing.

you feel it gush from you again, slick pouring out of your overstimulated pussy in rhythm with the clenching of your walls. you can’t stop it, and you don’t want to. you want him to see, to feel everything, and riki is right there, taking it all in like it’s the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen.

he’s whispering against your skin, his lips moving from your cheek to your ear to your collarbone, repeating soft, broken things like “you’re so good,” and “mine,” and “gonna remember this forever.”

he thrusts one last time—slow, deep, dragging his cock through your still-spasming cunt before finally collapsing on top of you, his arms wrapping around your shaking body, his breath completely wrecked. he doesn’t pull out. doesn’t move. he just holds you there, his chest pressed to yours, his cock still twitching inside your soaked, ruined heat.

the room is silent except for the sound of your breathing—shaky, uneven, like you're still learning how to inhale again. riki’s heart is pounding in his chest against yours, fast and wild. his hands are everywhere—stroking your hair, rubbing your back, cupping your face as he peppers soft kisses over your cheeks.

he lifts his head to look at you, his eyes glassy and so full of emotion it makes your breath catch. “you… you’re unreal,” he whispers, voice hoarse, lips brushing yours. “you came so hard for me, baby. you soaked me—fuck, you wrecked me.”

and still, he stays inside you.

still full.

still hard.

still kissing you like he’s never going to stop.

natty's notesᝰ.ᐟ hope y'all liked it !!

overthink this, overthink that - reader x ni-ki

warning: cursing, little angst, slow burn, suggestive content.

flirting was something you were unexpectedly good at, especially to your crush ni-ki... even though you knew you didn't stand a chance.

you love giving him compliments, spamming hearts on his posts, teasing him, staring at him like you're so in-love, sometimes you'll playfully touch him.

ni-ki though, he just ignore you. every single time, because to him, there's no way you're serious about what you're doing... there's no way you're serious about him.

and you knew he gets annoyed and will just straight-up walked away from you but it wasn't like you had any grand expectations.

you just liked him too much to stop.

you and jay were waiting for everyone to arrive, casually teasing each other like always but he was pushing it today, so you decided to bite back.

plus, let's be honest, your friend was looking a little too good right now. "i'd totally kiss you right now if you don't stop." you groaned before rolling your eyes at him.

it's a joke. a normal joke between the two of you.

except, of course, ni-ki just had to walk in right at that moment and the second your eyes met, you froze, eyes widening like you'd been caught doing something you weren't supposed to.

see? it would've been easy for him to believe you actually liked him if it weren't for the way you acted with everyone else.

ni-ki shook his head like he was disappointed in you.

…seriously, why do he always catch you at the bad time?

like that one time you haven't showered and the moment you stepped outside looking like a complete mess, you bumped into him.

and you must've look so bad that he started blushing and chuckling before walking away. you ran straight back inside and swore to never ever leave the house again unless you looked presentable.

though sometimes, it's like "fuck it!" you'd do whatever you want whether he's gonna be disappointed or not. it's not like he's gonna like you anyway, right?

"tsk, tsk. you pissed him off again," jay chuckled at ni-ki's reaction.

"i didn't!" you rolled your eyes. "you know he's always like that when he sees me, i haven't even talked to him yet."

jay just shook his head and if you were a guy, he'd probably smack you for being this dumb.

you went inside and spotted ni-ki sitting on the couch, scrolling through his phone and the second he saw you coming, he turned his back on you.

so you sat down right in front of him.

"what are you doing?" you grinned, leaning close.

"get out of my face."

you frowned. "tsk, you've got attitude now?"

he ignored you, pretending to laugh at whatever was on his screen then you tried to peek but he quickly moved his phone away.

"why are you-"

"go awaaay!" ni-ki groaned, trying to push you but you made yourself heavy and slid your head right into his chest.

you grinned, looking up at him. "i don't want to. i wanna be with you."

ni-ki rolled his eyes. "yeah, says the one who's for everybody."

your jaw dramatically dropped, looking around the room and at him like, who's everybody?

"you must be everybody," you shot back, pushing your face way too close to his.

ni-ki's heart started racing uncontrollably, tip of his ear were turning red again cause you were staring at him like he was the only person in the world.

and he hates it. you're the one who likes him yet he's the only one feeling these things... and you were probably just joking.

so he wished you would stop messing with him.

frustrated, ni-ki pushed you away with a little force, enough to make you fall back onto the couch while laughing.

"oh my... where are you going?" you called him out but he just walked away.

and today was just not it.

not enough sleep and you haven't eaten yet.

you were also late, your quiz results were bad, and to make things worse, you just got scolded.

oh, and because the universe clearly had it out for you today you forgot your wallet too, so now you had to walk home and your legs were killing you.

ni-ki was standing with a group of friends when he spotted you in the distance, walking alone with your head down.

you heard the familiar voice even when you were so lost in your thought. how could you not? that's your source of strength after all...

but out of all the days, how about he mess with you instead this time?

just as you were about to call him out, he pretended not to see you, leaning closer to one of the girls beside him as she playfully shoved his arm. his eyes were sparkling, his grin stretched so wide it practically lit up his face.

and you thought, that's definitely nothing like how he is with you.

your heart ached again as you watched, then you felt foolish, your cheeks burning as the weight of your behavior settled in.

you really have been chasing after someone who clearly doesn't feel the same way and worse, you wondered if you had made him uncomfortable.

you felt sorry for ni-ki and... yourself.

so you started to avoid him. you didn't think about whether he noticed or cared, you knew he might but still, you just needed to stop bothering him.

you would leave early and walk longer distances just to make sure you wouldn't bump into him whenever he'll take jogs in the morning. you would pretend to fix your bag or look at your watch so you wouldn't see him if he's hanging outside with others, though your heart still aches after hearing his voice.

sometimes, ni-ki's eyes would scan rooms without even realizing who he was searching for and when he didn't find you, he'd shake it off and move on, assuming you were just busy somewhere.

you became content to yourself staying in your own little bubble, no more hanging out these days with everyone, and no more forcing yourself to someone.

and now, ni-ki noticed because when he walked out of the house and he saw you pass by, your head was tilted slightly down and you were completely immersed in whatever it is you're reading.

and your class ended a while ago, you didn't expect that it'll rain today and had forgotten your umbrella.

the rain was relentless, pouring down heavily as you stood under a little roof near the gate, the only bit of shelter from the downpour but it did not help to keep you dry, your clothes were already soaked. you just hoped that the notebooks in your bag are still safe.

you wiped your face, trying to brush the water off from the wind that pushed the rain sideways but it was useless, the rain kept coming, cold and unforgiving. and despite the chill, you didn't panic or try to shield yourself. you just stood there, staring out at streets, waiting patiently for it to stop or at least slow down.

it's going to be okay.

most of the other students had already left, leaving the school grounds quiet. ni-ki walked towards the gate, then his steps slowed down when he saw you standing there with your figure illuminated dimly by the glow of the streetlights.

and his first instinct was to stop and turn back. the memory of how you used to call out to him, how you'd run up to him with your usual energy, it flashed through his mind.

to be honest, he didn't find you annoying, he was just overwhelmed and shy. a defense mechanism, maybe? he's overthinking, maybe?

he stepped to the side, hiding behind a nearby pillar. he wasn't sure why he hid though. he watched you rub at your nose, visibly shivering as the rain continued to drench you.

ni-ki hesitated for a moment, completely torn between staying hidden and stepping in but when you sneezed, "shit." he muttered under his breath, running a hand through his hair as he let out a sigh, totally frustrated with himself.

finally, he walked towards you. you didn't even notice him until he spoke, "you'll get sick if you stay like this." he said, dropping his umbrella and started to remove his jacket.

you blinked at him, water dripping from your lashes as you hugged yourself. you watched him for a second then slowly, ni-ki handed you his jacket. you muttered "thanks."

ni-ki also studied you for a moment, waiting for something. maybe a look? a word? just anything that resembled the way you used to act around him.

but nothing came, you simply adjusted the jacket around your shoulders with your calm and detached expression as if he's just someone you knew.

"i can walk you home." ni-ki said, his voice was loud enough for you to hear through the sound of heavy rain.

"you sure?" you asked, wiping your face again.

he smiled and nodded.

ni-ki glanced at you as you both hurried down the sidewalk, you were both dodging puddles and rushing towards the nearest shelter. and each time you reached one, you would stop for just a moment to catch your breath before rushing out with him again, running through the rain like you were playing some kind of game.

but you haven't said anything at all. the rhythm of your movement, the way you picked up the pace never looking back, told him that you were just determined to get home as fast as possible.

ni-ki was thrilled, his heart was beating fast as he dashed forward with you on his side. you both stopped just under the roof, he's panting slightly, grinning but it faded when he looked at you standing a little further away like you're not exhilarated by the chase.

he didn't even had the time to dwell on it because soon enough, you were ready to move again to head towards the final stretch before your place.

when you reached the familiar corner near your home, you stopped, ni-ki looked at you. "i'll walk you the rest of the way."

you shook your head, taking off his jacket. "no, i'll take it from here." you said, slipped out his jacket to hand it back to him.

ni-ki opened his mouth to protest, "keep it..." he said quietly but you already turned away.

"thanks!" you said. ni-ki stood there for a moment with the jacket in his hands, watching you as you disappeared into the distance.

next day, at lunch, he was just about to head to cafeteria. his eyes were wandering again when he saw you, you were sitting on the steps with your back pressed against the wall, burying your face in your hands.

you were startled slightly when you heard footsteps, you quickly bowed your head to acknowledge him, hoping he would just walk past, but he didn't.

instead, ni-ki stopped in front of you and sat close enough that his knees were now brushing against yours.

you dodged slightly when you saw his hands reach out. "what are you doing?" your voice was hoarse, weak.

he didn't answer. instead, he gently grabbed your other hand and pressed the back of his against your forehead after noticing how red your cheeks and lips were.

"i knew it." he sighed and held out his hand. you hesitated but he didn't give you much choice, gently but firmly pulling you to your feet. "come on."

he led you to the clinic and guided you to sit on the bed, the bed's height put your legs directly in his line of sight and he stared for a moment, swallowing hard, before looking away.

you watched as he leaned over you, reaching for the blanket folded at the head of the bed and his face came so close to yours that you could hear his breath.

so close...

ni-ki froze for a moment, his eyes locked with yours, he cleared his throat and draped the blanket over your shoulders.

"can you walk home?" the nurse asked as she will send you home.

"yeah."

ni-ki skipped class to take you home, he noticed your wobbly steps so he removed the backpack from your shoulders to carry it instead.

you didn't protest when he took the bag and the two of you started to walk side by side but after a few more wobbly steps, he gently placed your hand in his arm, offering you support.

ni-ki stayed silent, he wanted to be annoyed and he wanna start scolding you but at the same time he can't even seem to stop himself from smiling, and when you got home, he was spamming you with messages.

love of my life: hey, you good?

love of my life: are you alive?

love of my life: oiiiii

love of my life: yeah, stop talking to me.

he threw his phone onto the bed.

you're always like this, right? so, he's done. he's not going to text you anymore. if you didn't even bother replying, then why should he-

a notification sound cut off his thoughts.

you: my head and my body hurts.

ni-ki sat up immediately, fumbling to unlock his phone before getting out of bed in search of jay.

"hyu-hyung…" he called out, clearing his throat.

jay raised a brow at him.

"i heard your friend was sick," ni-ki muttered before looking away.

jay blinked confused, then shrugged. "yeah? and i heard you took her home."

"yeah!" ni-ki forced a laugh. "uhh… you gonna visit her?"

jay shot him a confused look again. "why would i?"

"i don't know…" ni-ki mumbled.

he snorted. "she's got a mom, you know. she'll be fine." he turned back to his phone, already moving on from the conversation.

ni-ki hesitated before speaking again. "remember when you guys freaked out when i got sick? imagine her mom being alone and taking care of that idiot."

jay froze. "oh, shit." he got up from his seat. "okay, i'm going."

"wait, wait, wait!" ni-ki grabbed his arm. "you don't need help?"

jay narrowed his eyes. "do you wanna come?"

ni-ki crossed his arms. "i mean… if you need help, then, yeah, i'll go."

jay forced a smiled, totally done with the both of you. "...right."

you started hanging out with them again, just laughing in the background, blending in, and not standing out like you usually did.

it was weird to ni-ki.

"the hell's wrong with her? is she feeling sick again or something?"

when he saw you alone on the balcony, he didn't hesitate to walk over. he stood beside you quietly, resting his arms on the railing while staring ahead. "so you don't like me anymore?"

you turned to him, confused. "huh?"

his eyes widened slightly like he hadn't meant to say that out loud. "nothing!" he blurted out, immediately annoyed at himself.

you stared at him, completely lost. "what's your problem? so you like it when i annoy you?"

"what? no. hell no."

he pushed off the railing, leaving before you could ask any more questions.

at home, you couldn't help but text him.

you: were you waiting for me to flirt with you today? lmaooo

love of my life: you're full of shit.

you: i was kidding. who said i stopped liking you?

ni-ki read the message twice with a smirk forming at his lips.

you: i just don't wanna make you uncomfortable. lemme move on in peace, okay?

his smirk dropped.

love of my life: so you can flirt with someone else instead, right?

you: stop that.

love of my life: why? cause it's true?

he leaned back against his bed, waiting for a reply, fully expecting you to argue back but the screen stayed blank, removing his smile completely.

ni-ki sighed, tapping the edge of his phone against his palm. did i go too far? he started typing, then deleted it. typed again, then erased it.

you: can you come get me?

love of my life: where are you?

his heart skipped a beat, grabbing his jacket without any second thoughts.

"i can't believe you…" ni-ki muttered, staring at you as you shivered in the cold, wearing nothing but thin layers.

"i didn't know it was gonna snow today!" you protested, rubbing your arms.

he said, slipping off his inner jacket and made you wear it, muttering about how stubborn you were. especially since you'd just recovered from being sick.

your eyes lit up as you spotted something. "can we stop there?" you pointed at a bench near a tteokbokki stall, where the warmth from the steam cleared the air.

ni-ki grabbed your hand and shoved it into his coat pocket as he led you there.

your heart started going crazy. "you're so gonna make me delusional." you murmured. "i'll think i have a chance."

"everyone has a chance with me."

you rolled your eyes, "you're the only one who has a chance with me." is what you wanted to say.

"and yet you say i'm for everybody?" you scoffed. ni-ki pulled your hand away and placed it back in your lap.

"no, no, i'm sorry, hold it longer, please?" you pouted, tilting your head. "just this time? riki?"

"wha-" he was flustered after hearing his real name from your mouth. then he sighed heavily, "fine," he said before taking your hand again and shoving it back into his pocket.

you giggled, and ni-ki smiled while shaking his head, watching you like you were the biggest idiot alive.

"seriously," you sighed, "i don't like it when you keep pushing the idea that i flirt with other people…"

"but you do," he shot back. "and you keep bullshitting me. you don't like me."

your chest tightened. "i like you," you muttered, "i just… i don't know. what more do you want me to do?"

the two of you held each other's gaze, eyes were searching for... honesty? sincerity?

ni-ki's jaw clenched. "forget it," he muttered, looking away.

you pressed your lips into a thin line, swallowing back the words you wanted to say.

jeongseong: really? that's so funny.

you: what's so funny??? guys are so fucking complicated like? i was moving on and he'd just do all that for nothing.

jeongseong: maybe stop messing around so you'll also be taken seriously.

you: i don't mess around.

jeongseong: you don't even know what's his favorite color, his favorite food, what's the name of his pet... you just flirt with him.

you: omg??

jeongseong: yeah... tsk. don't talk to me.

next day, you just stopped messing with everyone.

"y/n, you look good today."

and you walked past them like you didn't hear it.

ni-ki watched as you brushed off the attention you once entertained so easily. you weren't laughing with them, weren't throwing back flirty comebacks.

are you trying to impress him or something?

love of my life: where are you spending your summer break?

you: secret.

he didn't reply so you folded.

you: at my aunt's.

love of my life: alone?

you: yeah. need to relax, too.

love of my life: can i go too?

you nearly choked before replying.

you: i don't know if my mom will allow that…

love of my life: i'll ask her myself.

love of my life: unless you don't want me to come?

"are you crazy?" you muttered under your breath while looking at the screen.

mom said yes immediately, too... and she wouldn't stop talking about ni-ki.

"you're not actually thinking he'll go, right? besides, how could you even allow that?" you asked in disbelief as she unpacked groceries, acting completely unfazed.

"allow what?" she asked, faking her innocence.

"letting ni-ki come with me! i was supposed to go alone!"

she chuckled, clearly amused by your frustration. "oh, come on. it's your chance."

"my chance for what?" you snapped, crossing your arms. "i am moving on from him. that was old news."

"oh, really?" she mused, her smirk growing wider. "sure."

you groaned. "and how could you even think this is a good idea? letting a girl my age go off with a boy?"

she simply shrugged. "i guess i trust you."

ni-ki texted you that same night.

love of my life: so, any updates on our trip? should i bring snacks?

you: please tell me you're just kidding.

love of my life: no, why?

you: because this is supposed to be my trip, not ours.

love of my life: don't care, i'm great company. you'll thank me later.

you stared at his message for a long moment before tossing your phone onto your bed.

why is he doing this?

the train station felt busy, you stood there near the entrance, clutching the train tickets in your hand while waiting patiently for ni-ki.

and like always, he stood out from the crowd, dressed cool in a leather jacket over a tank top that hugged his figure, paired with a baggy jeans and sneakers.

his hair was slightly messy because of the wind but he looked so annoyingly perfect. time seemed to stop when ni-ki smiled andwalked towards you.

you shook your head, quickly turning away and started walking inside without even waiting for him.

ni-ki's smile dropped when he saw you turn your back on him. his steps quickened in panic. "y/n! wait up!" he called out, hoping you're not mad at him for being a few minutes late.

inside the train, the two of you stood a just few meters apart. you leaned against a railing, your eyes were fixed on the view outside the window while ni-ki was also leaning against the railing opposite of you.

your eyes would often meet and each time, you'd both quickly look away, pretending to be deeply invested in the passing scenery, and ni-ki would sip from his drink, as if he was very thirsty.

the train doors opened when it reached the next station. people rushed and the once spacious carriage was quickly filled, making ni-ki move closer to you.

then the crowd surged, pushing everyone closer. "sorry." he apologized when he slightly bumped at you but before he could step back, he was pushed forward again.

you found yourself pressed against the metal railing near the seats. ni-ki's arm shot out, gripping the bar to steady himself but also accidentally caging you beneath him. you gulped, feeling your boobs lightly pressed against him.

ni-ki froze when he also felt it, it's like a soft cushion underneath him.

his face heated as he realized the position you were in. his ears burned and he immediately tried to move backwards.

the crowd behind him didn't make it easy but he also didn't care. he leaned back just enough to give you some space, even if it meant pushing someone behind him.

shortly after, the train swayed again. forcing him to lean into you once more and you placed a hand on his chest. ni-ki's hand slightly brushed your shoulders as he pressed his hands against the door for support.

he quickly grabbed your hand and placed it on his arms instead... hoping you didn't feel his heart that was pounding so hard.

his eyes flicked down to your boobs for a split second before he quickly looked away. just making sure that you can breathe...

the two of you stayed like that, pressed far too close in the packed train car and every slight movement and every accidental brush of your body against his, made you both nervous.

when the train finally reached the next stop and the crowd thinned, ni-ki stepped back as much as he could, exhaling a deep breath through his pursed lips, his cheeks puffing out briefly before blowing air.

"sorry… about that." he muttered, feeling nervous.

you smiled weakly, your own face were still burning. "it's fine." you said quickly right after.

you're aunt was totally pleased by him, and later that night, you wandered into the bathroom to brush your teeth.

and when you looked around, you saw niki leaning against the wall nearby who's towel-drying his damp hair, wearing a plain white t-shirt that has a fabric so thin you could see his body underneath.

he was scrolling through his phone but the moment he noticed you, he set it down and crossed his arms.

"what?" you asked, your voice muffled by your toothbrush.

he didn't say anything, just kept watching you.

feeling self-conscious, you jokingly covered your butt with your hand. "stop staring."

ni-ki's mouth dropped open in exaggerated disbelief. "you actually think i'm checking you out?"

you shrugged, spitting into the sink.

"for your information, i was just proud that you finally took a shower"

you rinsed your mouth and glanced at him with a smirk. "that's unbelievable." continuing with, "goodnight, ni-ki."

he chuckled, running a hand through his hair, watching as you walked past him. "goodnight."

you stirred in your bed, it was midnight. the thin sheet clung to your sweaty skin because of the unbearable heat. you sat up while groaning softly, your damp hair were sticking to your neck.

"auntie?" you called out, voice cracking slightly.

no response.

sliding your feet into slippers, you got out of your room. the house silent except for the faint creak of the ceiling fan spinning. you made your way to the living room, the sliding door to the balcony was open, letting the cool breeze enter the room.

and just as you passed by his room, the door creaked open, a hand shot out, fingers wrapping around your wrist then pulled you back.

you gasped softly, barely catching yourself from stumbling as you turned to see ni-ki standing in his doorway.

"what are you doing?"

"it's too hot in my room." you whispered, "i couldn't sleep."

ni-ki's grip loosened, but didn't let go. his eyes flickered to the open balcony door, then back to you. "sleep here."

you blinked at him, still flustered but nodding slowly. "o-okay…" you mumbled, though in your mind, you had already made a plan. you'd agree for now but the moment he'll let his guard down, you'd slip off to your own room and lock the door.

but ni-ki saw right through you and the second you took a step, he gently grabbed your arm and tugged you back again. "are you planning to escape from me?"

you rolled your eyes, brushing past him and pushing him gently out of your way.

and once you're in his room, you immediately flopped onto his bed, pulling his blanket over you.

the soft fabric smelled just like him, you tried so hard to ignore the way your heart raced at the scent.

"you're really gonna use the blanket? it's also a bit hot in here."

you didn't respond, just pulled the blanket tighter around you.

ni-ki shook his head as he remove his shirt over his head and tossed it onto a chair in the corner.

he likes to sleep naked.

"you're such an idiot." he muttered, half-laughing. "it's already hot and you're over there cooking yourself like a steamed dumpling."

you didn't dignify him with a response. instead, you stayed silent, hoping he'd eventually leave you alone.

but then, you felt the weight of his head pressed gently against your back through the blanket.

"why are you hiding under that thing?" he asked, his voice were soft but teasing.

"shut up, i'm fine." you mumbled, your voice muffled by the blanket.

ni-ki scoffed. "fine? you're gonna pass out in there. what are you even hiding from?"

"i'm not hiding."

"oh, really?" he said, shifting slightly to get more comfortable.

you groaned, peeking your head out just enough to look back and glare at him. "maybe i just like the blanket, okay?"

ni-ki tilted his head, smirking. "or maybe you're trying to avoid looking at me because i took my shirt off."

"no, i'm not!"

"so you did notice... y/n, you're so obvious." he sighed, "if you're so uncomfortable, just say so. i'll put my shirt back on."

"i'm not uncomfortable, take that off."

"right." he said and rolled his eyes. ni-ki still stood up and wore his shirt again.

you removed the blanket in a hurry, "i said take it off!"

soft sunlight shone through the window as you sat at the edge of the bed while stretching your arms above your head with a yawn.

you don't know why but after you finished washing your face and brushing your teeth, you went back to his room.

ni-ki also woke up and did his thing. he went back and threw himself on the bed "morning."

then a knock came from the door before he could tease you further. both of your heads whipped towards it and your eyes widened in panic. "ni-ki, are you awake?" your aunt called out.

you immediately turned to him, your voice a frantic whisper. "she can't see me in here. she's going to get the wrong idea."

ni-ki raised an eyebrow, "the wrong idea, huh?"

"ni-ki, seriously!"

your aunt knocked again, louder this time.

he jumped out of bed, "hide here." he said, opening the closet and gently shoving you inside. giving you a thumbs up and quickly closed the door, leaving you in darkness.

he ran a hand through his hair, smoothing it down before opening the bedroom door to face your aunt, who stood there with her arms crossed.

"where is she?" she asked, her eyes scanning the room suspiciously.

"wh-who?" ni-ki asked, yawning.

"y/n.. she's not in her room, so i assumed she was here." your aunt said, stepping into the room.

ni-ki shrugged, leaning against the doorframe. "i don't know, auntie. i haven't seen her this morning."

just then, your phone started to buzz from inside the closet.

your aunt turned towards the sound. "what's that?" she asked, walking closer to the closet.

ni-ki quickly stepped in her path, his hand resting casually on the closet door. "oh, uh, that's probably coming from her room." he said smoothly. "she must've left her phone there."

your aunt raised an eyebrow. "really?"

before she could question further, ni-ki's phone buzzed in his pocket. he pulled it out and read the text from you:

you: tell aunt i just went to convenience store. i'll be back soon.

he quickly turned the screen toward your aunt. "look, she just texted me. she's at the convenience store. said she'll be back soon."

your aunt glanced at the text and sighed. "thank you, tell her to come see me as soon as she gets back."

ni-ki nodded. "will do."

once your aunt finally left, ni-ki closed the door and hurried to open the closet. you stumbled out, brushing yourself off and leaned against the closet door, pressing your back against it. you hands were tucked behind you, gripping your phone tightly.

ni-ki crossed his arms, raising an eyebrow. "i just told her you must've left your phone in your room and then you'll text that you're outside? you're lucky she didn't get suspicious." he sighed, shaking his head.

you shrugged, trying to play it cool. "it's fine. thanks for covering for me."

"why did you even sleep here in my room?" he asked, rubbing his temples in mock exasperation.

you scoffed, "you're the one who insisted, remember?"

ni-ki smirked, clearly enjoying your frustration. "yeah, blame me." he took a step closer, his eyes locking onto yours and slowly, he brought his hands up to press against the closet on either side of your head, his smile faded.

and instead of you pushing him, you actually welcomed it, when his lips neared yours, you leaned in to meet him halfway.

the kiss was warm and unhurried, both of you were smiling into it like you couldn't help yourselves.

it wasn't just a kiss, it was a moment just for the two of you. his lips pressed on yours again and again, the smiles were there as if neither of you wanted it to end.

you both let out soft, breathless laughs.

"ni-ki! i need your help!" your aunt called him out again.

he glanced towards the door. "one second!" he answered, then turned his attention back to you with a smile.

"i'll distract her." he whispered, leaning in to steal another quick kiss.

"go." you whispered, grinning against his lips.

he pulled back slightly, then pressed one more before he fully stepped away, running a hand through his hair as he walked to the door.

you couldn't help but laugh softly, leaning back against the closet door, biting your lips while looking down.

you sat at the dining table with ni-ki and your aunt, attempting to follow her story about something that happened at work.

his leg would brush against yours under the table. at first, you thought it was an accident, but when it happened again and his lips formed a smile.

and when your aunt went on about a particularly dramatic coworker, ni-ki boldly held your hand on his lap.

you froze for a second, glancing at him in surprise, but he just gave you a soft smile and squeezed it gently.

luckily, your aunt didn't seem to notice because she's too engrossed in her own story.

you couldn't focus at all. every time you tried to pay attention, your eyes would drift to ni-ki, who listened to her attentively while tracing and caressing your wrist.

you forgot how to breathe as he completely derailed your thoughts.

you looked away and pretended to be absorbed in your aunt's story but it was no use, your heart was racing and the warmth of his touch wasn't helping.

when your aunt finally excused herself to grab something from the kitchen, you took a deep breath and let out a quiet laugh while shaking your head.

if the you from a few months ago could see this, she'd be so jealous.

after saying goodbye to your aunt, you and ni-ki boarded the train home. and just like before, it was packed, leaving no room to breathe.

this time, your back was pressed against his chest, and you held onto his arm for balance while he gripped the handle above you for support.

ni-ki saw a few strands of your hair brushing against your cheek. slowly, he reached out with his free hand and gently pushed your hair to the side, exposing the side of your neck.

he stared at it for a moment and without hesitation, he leaned in closer and pretended to bite your neck, his teeth grazed the air and before you could respond, he leaned in again and pressed a quick, soft kiss to your neck, making your grip on his arm tighten slightly.

now, you were both exhausted, tangled up in his bed, and it's so warm that the room felt even cozier.

ni-ki's arms were wrapped around your waist, his head were resting against your chest as you played with his soft black hair.

your legs were draped over his waist while his hands traced your thighs, caressing your skin absentmindedly.

"have you seen my new post?"

"yeah, i liked it."

"you didn't even comment."

you commented three fire emojis but ni-ki was already happy with that. you were both laughing, whispering stories with quiet chuckles, and were too tired to keep talking but also too content to stop.

ni-ki's breathing has slowed, and just when you thought he had drifted off his sleep...

"y/n?"

you hummed in response, caressing his neck.

"…i love you."

a/n: this might be 7k words or more, sorry :3

マスターリストm.list

hopeless ☆ heeseung lee

☆ horrendously down bad! heeseung x fem! reader ☆ summary: absolutely no one would have expected the dark, brooding, and rough heeseung lee to be hopelessly head over heels in love with the sweet, oblivious you. especially you. even with the help of practically the entire year, it's almost pathetic the way heeseung struggles to utter three, simple words to you, let alone look you in the eye. ☆ genre: fluff!!! pining, SUPER WHIPPED HEESEUNG, high school! au, non-idol! au, a lot of 01 liner idols + the rest of enha make appearances, btw this follows the asian school system, SO MUCH FLIRTING OMG, heeseung is kinda pathetic and awk ☆ warning(s)? swearing and dumb characters lol, there is one SA scene, but it is not graphic + very minor violence ☆ word count: 10.8k ☆ this is extremely based off of "danger" by bts, especially the lyric "you're cute, and i'm pathetic" lol enjoy!

Heeseung Lee was stressed. 

No. He was distraught. 

Distraught about how fucking cute you looked today.

Ever since he was a kid, Heeseung loved Halloween, because he loved Trick-or-Treating with his older brother and cousins. However now, at the age of seventeen, he found himself resenting it. Not because there was any issue with the holiday, but because today was Halloween. 

From across the classroom, Heeseung found himself staring, all dazed and empty-headed, at you, who was clad in your cute bunny costume. The way the fluffy, white ears stuck out from the top of your head, as well as the fluffy white coat draped around your shoulders, made you look so soft and cozy and adorable. The way your nose crinkled as you laughed with your friends, sweet sounds coming from your lips as you threw your head back. 

Were you real? How could anyone be so goddamn beautiful and not be an actual angel sent from above? What country did Heeseung save in his past life in order to get to be in your presence in this life?

"Dude, you're staring," a new voice interjected.

"What?" Heeseung tore his eyes away from you. "I wasn't."

Beomgyu Choi was one of Heeseung's classmates. And, like everyone else in their year, Beomgyu knew how enamored Heeseung was with you. Other than yourself, of course.

"I'm tellin' you," Beomgyu plopped down onto his seat, which was beside Heeseung's. He slid his chair so that he would be closer to his classmate, before throwing an arm around Heeseung. "You need to make a move. Like, now."

Heeseung glanced over at his classmate. If he ignored the fake blood on Beomgyu's chin, as well as the fake, plastic vampire teeth and the god-awful Spirit Halloween Dracula cape, he'd know that Beomgyu was 100% correct. 

Everyone (and seriously, everyone) knew that Heeseung Lee had the biggest, juiciest, most obnoxious crush on you. In fact, your own friends had even tasked themselves with the job of putting in a good word for Heeseung, saying things like "Isn't he so cool?" into your ear to hopefully guide you straight into his arms. It's such a well-known fact that some of your teachers have purposefully placed you and Heeseung next to or near each other in order to help him with his more-than-obvious crush. 

With such a big, school-wide effort, it should be expected that at least some progress was made.

Wrong!

Not even a single stroke of progress has been made.

Probably because there was one teensy, weensy, eensy, problem: Heeseung was an absolute mess around you. Heeseung was known as this tall, blunt, and rough guy at school. When he wasn't silently judging everyone, he hung out with his group of friends, who had a reputation for being delinquents. Heeseung Lee, clad in his iconic black leather jacket, was intimidating, and usually had no problem speaking up for himself. But around you? Absolutely not.

If anyone thought that Heeseung Lee could easily speak to you, they were out of their goddamn mind. There were too many instances where your classmates would push Heeseung and you together, only for him to blow it because he was completely incapable of looking you in the eye without turning red. 

In Heeseung's defense, you were the most beautiful person in the world— How is he not supposed to get nervous?

"You know I can't," Heeseung murmured, clenching his fists.

Beomgyu rolled his eyes. "Whatever, Hee. What happened to banger Heeseung Lee? Heeseung Lee that beats up kids? I didn't think you'd be scared of talking to girls."

"First of all," Heeseung frowned, "I'm not a banger and I don't beat up kids. And also, I'm not scared of talking to girls."

His classmate quirked a brow. "Really?" Heeseung nodded. "Because the last time I remember, you could barely get a word out in front of [Name]."

At the sound of your name, Heeseung jerked in his seat, reaching out to grasp Beomgyu's arm. "Shhhh, don't say her name so loud!" he hissed, eyes quivering over to where you were with your friends.

"What?" Beomgyu looked around indiscreetly. "It's not a secret to anyone how you feel about [Name]."

"Shhhh! Shut up!"

When the bell rang, everyone scurried to their seat, and class began. As Beomgyu tuned out the sound of the teacher's voice, he couldn't help but notice the way Heeseung's eyes were completely glued to you. It was almost laughable, the way the boy's eyes were wide, staring at you like you were some god.

Oh god, Heeseung Lee was hopeless.

"Heeseung-hyung, are you free tomorrow?"

It was lunch time. Heeseung and his friends liked to hang around the rooftop of the school, because it was always empty. And plus, no one wanted to be where Heeseung and his friends were— they were too scary!

Heeseung looked at his younger Australian friend, Jake Sim (or Jaeyun Sim, as his official documents stated), who had just asked that question. Heeseung took a bite of the instant ramen that they bought from the vending machine.

"Yeah, why?"

"Good. Because you have a date with [Name] tomorrow."

Heeseung choked. As he coughed, his other younger friend, Sunoo Kim, let out a whine.

"Hyuuunggg!" Sunoo pouted. "Why'd you tell him?"

"It was supposed to be a surprise!" Riki Nishimura, the group's Japanese foreign exchange student friend, added, elbowing Jake in the ribs.

"Whatever," Jake crossed his arms. When Riki nudged him again, Jake opened his mouth to holler, "Jay, back me up!"

Jongseong "Jay" Park was another one of Heeseung's friends, probably the closest person to him. 

"You guys know Heeseung-hyung is going to fuck it up either way, right?" Jay said. "Remember last time?"

"Yeah," Sunghoon Park joined in. "No matter how much we prepared him, Heeseung-hyung still acted like a fucking idiot."

"I'm right here!" Heeseung shouted, still hitting his chest to dislodge the ramen that he choked on. 

Jungwon Yang, the seventh person in their friend group, put a hand on the older boy's shoulder, his lips lifting up into a half-teasing grin, revealing sharp canine teeth, "Hyung, don't listen to them. I think you'll really impress [Name] tomorrow."

It was Heeseung's turn to elbow Jungwon in the ribs.

When Heeseung finally finished coughing up a storm, his friends were already onto another topic, making plans for the next weekend.

"Hey, hey!" Heeseung grumbled. "Aren't you guys going to explain this so-called 'date with [Name]'?"

"What's there to explain?" Riki said. "You're going on a date with [Name]. End of story."

The eldest of the group's face contorted. "What are you guys even saying—"

"Well, it's not technically a date," Sunghoon said, taking a sip of his juice box. "You're, like, hanging out with [Name] though."

That still didn't answer Heeseung's question. 

"When? Where? What time?" he spluttered, eager for answers.

Jake huffed exasperatedly. "Do we have to explain to you everything? It's not that deep, man."

Jungwon rolled his eyes. "Hyung, [Name]'s friends are the presidents of the Environment and Ecology Club, and there's a social tomorrow. It's like birdhouse painting, or something. [Name] is attending to support her friend, so we signed you up, too."

"Birdhouse painting?!" Sunoo's features morphed into confusion. "I thought they were making bracelets?"

"No, I thought there were weaving baskets?" Riki frowned.

"Whatever it is, it sounds lame as hell," Jay remarked.

Jungwon rolled his eyes again, earning a punch on his arm. "Whatever it is, it'll be a great opportunity for you to talk to [Name]." 

The younger boy offered Heeseung a reassuring smile, only to receive a pensive one in return.

When classes resumed, Heeseung felt light-headed and distracted the entire time as he processed the fact that he was going to be around you tomorrow.

Oh god, he sounded like a total loser. Did the mere thought of being in your presence make him nervous? Yes, yes it did. You were just so pretty and sweet, he had no idea what to do. Poor boy, his teeth dug into his bottom lip, clammy palms pressing into the underside of his desk. His knee bounced, and there was absolutely no way that he could even make out a single word the teacher was saying.

Heeseung was going to pass out. 

"Hey, Heeseung?"

That's your voice. It was so pretty and nice on his ears. Was he in heaven? He wouldn't be surprised if your voice was the voice of an angel.

"Heeseung?"

Heeseung was convinced that he was in heaven now. What he wouldn't do to hear your voice every second of his life.

"Heeseung!" another voice interjected. That's what snapped Heeseung out of his daze. Too deep in his head, Heeseung hadn't noticed that the class period ended, and the short passing period had already begun.

At his desk stood Yunjin Huh, Minjeong "Winter" Kim, and... oh my god... you. The three of you had somewhat matching Halloween costumes: Yunjin was a gray mouse, Winter was a cat, and you were a bunny. And now that he looked at it, you all were holding a bag of candy.

While your two friends were giving him the"Are you serious?" looks, you looked at him with wide, kind eyes.

"Heeseung?" your beautiful voice said, fingers reaching into the candy bag that you were holding. "Would you like candy?"

He stared at you. You were giving out candy to everyone in class because it was Halloween... You're such an angel... What did the world do to deserve you...

Winter stepped on Heeseung's foot, snapping him out of his daze once again. The boy let out a small yelp in pain, and as the embarrassment settled in, he heard you let out a small giggle, lips raising up to show off your teeth.

Oh my god, he was going to die.

"Y-Yeah," he stammered out, cursing himself internally. Heeseung couldn't help but feel everyone in class's gaze glued to him. When you handed him a piece of candy, your hand brushed up against his. Heeseung could feel his ears becoming hot, the warmth rising to his neck.

You smiled at him, before saying in a sing-songy voice, "Happy Halloween!"

Heeseung had to force himself not to stare like an absolute fool.

He was really hopeless.

hee: jay i don't think i can do it tomorrow

It was 2AM when Heeseung texted Jay. He spent the entire night thinking about the "date" (probably the least necessary word at the moment), and he simply couldn't sleep.

Heeseung had embarrassed himself too many times in front of you. Like that one time you and him were on cleaning duty together, and he was so distracted by you that he tripped over a bucket of water. Or that one time he sat next to you for a few weeks and his shoes kept squeaking against the floor, making it look like he was farting. Or when he tried to look cool and suave in front of you at some social your friends invited him to only to rip a hole in his pants. And then what happened today... He could not embarrass himself again.

hee: like i think i'm going to die if she sits next to me tomorrow

It was only a matter of seconds when his friend texted back.

jay: you'll be fine trust

Heeseung frowned.

hee: stop lying to me

hee: you know how i am around her

jay: i believe in you

jay: like srsly

hee: that's blind faith

Jay typed for a little bit, before stopping altogether. Heeseung huffed. Did his friend just leave him on read? A few minutes later Jay sent a Wikihow article.

'How to talk to your crush,' it was aptly named. Heeseung deadpanned.

hee: are you being fr right now

jay: give [name] your sexy heeseung charm and you'll be walking off into the sunset hand-in-hand with her in no time

jay: read the article btw

How was this guy an actual person?

hee: kill yourself

jay: give her that passionate, sexy, boiling hot, hotter-than-the-sun, steaming hot heeseung that makes her just want to come up to you and give you the fattest, juiciest kiss on the mouth, i know you can do it soldier

hee: DIE

Heeseung couldn't sleep all night.

At school, the entire day was just plagued with anxiety for what was to come. It didn't help that your friends kept turning around and giving him knowing looks throughout the day. When school finally let out, Heeseung went to the classroom where the birdhouse-painting-bracelet-making-basket-weaving social would be held. His friends told him to go there the moment that school ended, but when he came, there was literally no one there.

Until someone yanked him into the classroom.

"Hey!-" he yelped, before the door slammed. In front of him stood two people that he recognized: Sumin Bae and Sieun Park, two of your friends who also coincidentally were the co-presidents of the Environment and Ecology club.

Sumin cocked a brow at him, crossing her arms. "I hope you're not as hopeless as everyone says you are."

Heeseung opened his mouth to respond, but Sieun cut him off.

"Ugh, that doesn't matter," she pinched her nose-bridge. "We told [Name] to sit near the front, so you better sit there, too."

"Right-" 

Sumin cut him off, too.

"[Name]'s favorite color is pink, and her favorite Sanrio character is Keroppi," Sumin asserted. "And she really likes things that are cute, so like fruit patterns, hearts, stars, yada yada."

Heeseung blinked at them. "And this is relevant how...?"

Sumin and Sieun shared a look.

"You are completely hopeless."

As it turned out, they were giving him details about design-elements that you liked, so that Heeseung could somehow impress you with his birdhouse painting abilities (Jungwon was right, it was birdhouse painting). After info-dumping on him, they kicked him out of the classroom to actually prepare for the social.

As Heeseung was pushed out of the classroom, he bumped into someone. Just as he was about to say, "Watch where you're going," he realized that it was you. 

"Oh, hi, Heeseung!" you greet him cheerfully, your eyes pressing into thin slits as you smile. 

Quick! What does he do? "Hi... [Name]."

"Are you here for the social, too?" The way your eyes gazed at him made him feel shy already.

"Y-Yeah...."

"I didn't know you were interested in the Environment and Ecology club..." You remarked, and Heeseung panicked— Was it obvious that he was here exclusively for you?— but what you said next made him sigh in relief. "That's great! I'm so happy that I finally have someone familiar with me here!"

He's going to faint.

When the social began, you invited him to sit next to you. Heeseung felt stiff as he sat beside you, watching the way that you happily painted your small, wooden birdhouse. Heeseung wanted to start a conversation with you, but each time he thought of something to say, his voice caught in his throat. Sumin and Sieun had given him two dirty looks already, so he needed to make a move now or their efforts would be in vain.

"W-What's that?" he finally stuttered out, pointing to the glob of green on your birdhouse. 

You laugh airily, leaning closer to him so that he can see it better. "Can you guess?"

Heeseung tries to concentrate on guessing, but it's hard when you're close to him. Quick! What's green and something that you like?

"Is that... K-Keroppi?"

"Yeah!" Your face lit up, flashing him a cheeky grin. You nudged him with your elbow, raising your brows at him playfully. "Awww, Hee, you smarty pants! How'd you know?"

Hee?

OhmygodohmygodohmygodyoucalledhimHee.

You stopped laughing, pulling away from him. "Sorry, do you not like being called Hee? Beomgyu sometimes calls you that, so I thought-"

"No, I like it!" Heeseung blurted, a little louder than he wanted to, earning a few questioning looks from people around him. The boy felt abnormally warm, embarrassed at his outburst. "I-I'm okay with you calling me that..."

"Noted!" you said, before your lips curled upward. "Now... are you going to tell me how you could tell that this green blob was Keroppi?"

"Oh uhm..." Heeseung's lips were moving faster than his head, "Y-You dressed up as Keroppi last year for Halloween with Yunjin."

Almost like you were a cartoon character, you perked up at his statement. "You remember?"

Of course he did. How could he forget? You wore a cartoonishly-big red bow around your neck like Keroppi, and had a green Keroppi-style headband. You looked adorable, especially when you went around showing off a Keroppi keychain that you got at the Cinnamoroll Cafe in Hongdae to anyone that was willing to listen.

Heeseung found himself chuckling. "Of course I'd remember your massive red bow."

You stared at him for a few moments, before a bashful grin broke out on your face. You then buried your face in your hands, letting out a groan. "Ughhhh, that's so embarrassing!"

"How?"

It's going good so far, Heeseung thought. Just don't mess it up!

You pouted cutely, your bottom lip jutting out. In the light, he could see the gloss shining off of it so prettily. "My makeup was so fucked up last year, ughhh, it looked so bad."

You? Look bad? Impossible.

"What are you talking about?" Heeseung asked, his doe-like eyes scanning your embarrassed face. "I thought you looked cute."

You stared at him. It took a few pulses for Heeseung to realize what he just said. His face instantly turned three shades warmer and panic was evident in his expression.

"I-I mean— You jus—You were really—"

He shut his mouth when you began laughing. Laughing so hard that you clutched onto his knee, keeling over yourself. His cheeks burned.

You're laughing at him, aren't you? Did he fuck up?

When you noticed the sulky expression on his face, you stopped laughing.

"Sorry, Hee," you said, giving his knee a reassuring squeeze. "It's just... You look so intimidating, when you're really just a sweetheart."

If Heeseung was red before, he was quietly literally the color of a tomato. It was a wonder that the entire room’s temperature didn’t rise given the sheer amount of heat radiating off his person.

"A s-sweetheart?"

"Yeah!" you happily respond. "You're just the cutest, y'know? Like a little puppy."

As much as Heeseung wanted to die happily now that you called him cute, he needed to keep this conversation going. Sucking in a sharp breath, the boy looked at you in the eyes. "W-Well I think the same about you... [Name]."

You looked at him curiously, so he continued, his voice soft and sheepish, "I... also think that you're the cutest."

You blinked at him a few times, before the widest smile that he'd ever seen spread across your cheeks, stretching ear to ear. If only Heeseung wasn't too busy grappling with his shyness, he'd notice the way you let out a soft, bashful giggle, shaking your head and squeezing your eyes shut to keep yourself from being too visibly flustered. Slowly, with all the courage that you had left in you, you raised your hand and placed it on Heeseung's head. You ruffled his soft locks, gushing, "God, you're so cute, Heeseung!"

The rest of the social is filled with soft chatter between the two of you, but Heeseung was honestly too captivated by you to notice the time passing. With his heart on his sleeve, and a sloppily-painted birdhouse in his hands, Heeseung mentally high-fived himself.

Heeseung's friends never heard the end of it. The moment that he got home, Heeseung spammed their groupchat, giving them paragraphs and paragraphs of the events that ensued.

hee: and then she called me cute. like CUTE CUTE, not even like she was alluding it, she used the word CUTE

hee: oh my god i think i'm gonna faint

His friends don't have it in them to flame him. After all, this was progress.

Unbeknownst to him, you were feeling the same things. Everyone knew that Heeseung liked you, except yourself. You had the opposite case: you've had the biggest crush on Heeseung since middle school, but never told a single soul about it. You're a naturally expressive and sweet person, so it was so incredibly hard hiding your feelings for him. 

After all, under that handsome and brooding outer shell, you saw his softness. This past year, you've had so many miscellaneous interactions (at least, it seemed miscellaneous-- everyone but you knew that those interactions were set up) with Heeseung. At the beginning of each interaction, he'd act all mysterious, but as time passed, he'd speak so softly and slowly unravel. 

It was so, so cute. Heeseung was so cute. To say you wanted him would be an understatement. No words were sufficient to fully express the nights that you stayed awake thinking about him, or the makeup looks that you intricately practiced to impress him, or the sheer number of times that you had to hide the fact that you were staring at him.

Maybe you couldn't hide it any longer.

"Wait, what?!"

Heeseung's heart dropped to his stomach the moment he heard the words leave his friend's lips. Chenle Zhong was one of you and Heeseung's mutual friends, and according to him, someone had confessed to you via a letter today.

"Are you serious?" Heeseung asked, pulling his bottom lip into his teeth, chewing pensively. "Do you know who wrote it?"

"Nope, but I'll try to get more info on it," Chenle frowned. "Yunjin says that [Name] laughed at the letter."

When Heeseung didn't say anything, Chenle continued. "Hey, man, that could be a sign, y'know?"

When Heeseung's face morphed into a confused expression, his friend added, "Like, maybe [Name] thinks it's a joke? Maybe she doesn't care for it."

That's what Heeseung hoped for.

Later, Chenle texted him a screenshot of the love letter. To say that Heeseung was appalled would be an understatement. The letter read,

'To my dearest [Name], you're as beautiful as the plum blossoms in the spring. Your lips are soft like pillows, pillows that I would love to fall into an eternal in. I love you, I love you, I'll love you until this paper decomposes and becomes a part of the earth, and maybe then they will be able to force me to forget you. Love, your admirer.'

Heeseung immediately sent it to his groupchat.

jakey: yo who invited shakespeare???

hoon: i had a stroke reading that

sunoo: "your lips are soft like pillows" is crazyyy

hee: chenle gave me updates, apparently [name] knows who the sender is

jay: AND WHO IS THE SENDER??

hee: i don't know

hee: but minjeong says that it's someone from class 2

niki: class 2 is full of snobs

jungwon: i'm still in shock because of "i'll love you until this paper decomposes"

hoon: WHAT IF IT'S JUNGSU HYUNG

niki: oh it's SO over for you heeseung-hyung

As it turned out, it was not, in fact, Jungsu Kim from Class 2, thanks to your friends, who were quite wonderful info-brokers. But he still didn't know who it was.

Laying in bed, Heeseung felt weight on his chest. You laughed at the letter. While that could mean that it was a joke, it could also mean that you thought the person writing the letter was funny... which could mean that you liked them back. Just the mere thought of you with someone else made Heeseung frown deeply. This entire time he was worried about how to act around you, completely ignoring the fact that you yourself could be interested in someone else! God, he was so stupid.

Heeseung needed to know who it was that sent it, and more importantly, if you were romantically interested in them.

Fear makes man do crazy things.

Like walking one's crush to school.

Look, Heeseung was mulling over the situation as he walked to school, when he saw you across the street, walking in the same direction as him. In what could only be called an adrenaline-high, Heeseung ran across the street up to you.

"[Name]!" he called out.

"Heeseung?—Oh my god!"

Poor boy was breathless, flushed in the face. It took him a few moments to catch his breath. Flashing you a grin, Heeseung said, "Let's walk to school together, [Name]."

You're silent for a few moments, before you return the smile. "Of course."

The walk was silent, only the sound of early morning traffic, footsteps against the concrete sidewalk, and the occasional sniffle courtesy of you filling the cold air between the two of you. Speaking of which, your sniffles began to get louder and more frequent. Now out of adrenaline, Heeseung was back to being shy.

Clearing his throat, Heeseung forced his voice out. "Are you— Are you sick?"

You sniffled again, bringing your hand up to swipe your nose. The two of you were at an intersection now, so you pressed the pedestrian button. "No, I just get sniffly when it's cold."

That's. So. Cute. Was what Heeseung was thinking. The way you were rubbing your hands together made you look so adorable, he just wanted to put you in his pocket. 

He must have been staring at you for a while, back in his you-loving daze, because Heeseung did not notice that the streetlight changed, and it was time for the pedestrians to pass.

Not to worry!

Heeseung was completely kicked out of his daze when your smaller hand grabbed his, pulling him along the street. His eyes were glued to the two of your hands, especially where they connected. For someone sniffly, your hands were warm. He liked the way that they fit in his.

Even in the cool morning air, Heeseung suddenly felt warm all over.

You were in the middle of the sidewalk when Heeseung stopped. Feeling bold, he dropped his schoolbag, and began slipping off his thick, black, leather jacket, before draping it over your shoulders. 

When you looked up at him with those curious doe eyes, all his boldness went away.

"Y-You're cold aren't you?" He avoided looking you in the eyes. "Just... Just take it. Y-You can give it back later... or whatever."

You giggled, slipping your arms into the sleeves.

God, you looked so cute in his jacket. Heeseung was going to melt.

And he did melt, because you began doing cute twirls to show off the jacket, posing for him.

"How do I look?" you cheekily asked, popping your leg up. 

Heeseung was speechless, his mouth just left agape. He had to force himself to speak.

"Cute..." he answered, barely audible.

A grin was growing on your face. "Sorry, I didn't hear you. How do I look?"

Heeseung squeezed his eyes shut, huffing. "I said you looked cute!"

The sight of Heeseung's pink cheeks and his cute little pout was enough for you to be satisfied. Before the boy could realize what he said, you picked up his school bag for him, shoving it into one of his hands, before snatching his free hand. You pulled him gently to continue walking, but Heeseung was frozen in place, eyes too busy on you.

"Heeeeee," you elongated your syllables. You squeezed his hand twice, tugging him again. "We can't be late to class, can we?"

Heeseung audibly gulped. "Y-Yeah. You're right.."

You guys began walking again, neither of you wanting to let each other’s hands go.

"And then she held my hand— Isn't that crazy?! She held my hand!"

"Heeseung-hyung, please, I am peeing right now."

It was the lunch period once again. As Heeseung and Sunghoon traversed the hallways to get to the stairwell, the older of two chatted about the events that morning.

"So you held her hand?" Sunghoon asked half-heartedly, barely listening. "And then what?"

Heeseung perked up. "And then we walked to class together, and then she—"

"That's cool and all," the younger friend was walking in front of him. Sunghoon turned over his shoulder. "But did you get any more information about the letter fiasco?"

Oh. 

No, Heeseung didn't.

When they reached the rooftop, his friends gently nudged him to get more information about the letter. 

"You don't want to have one of those 'too late' moments, right?" Jungwon said, chewing on his rice ball. "What if by the time you gather the courage to talk to her, [Name] is already walking off into the sunset hand-in-hand with her secret admirer?!"

"What's with you guys and walking off into the sunset..." Heeseung muttered, running a hand through his hair. 

"I'm serious, hyung!"

"I second that," Jay said lazily.

"I second that," Riki mocked in a squeaky voice, earning him a soft smack at the back of his head.

"Well, what am I supposed to do?" Heeseung asked, frustrated. "I can talk to her or her friends later, but not right now."

Jake scoffed. "What's stopping you from going back inside and talking to [Name] right now?"

The eldest boy didn't have an answer. That's true. There wasn't anything stopping Heeseung from talking to you right now. All the boys were now watching him for an answer, ready to pounce on him for being a coward.

"I don't know!" Heeseung finally said. "I've used up all of my bravery today... I don't think I have it in me to talk to her!"

His friends stared at him questioningly, until the silence was broken by Sunoo taking a loud and very obviously fake phonecall.

"Hi! Yes! Mhm. He's right here. Yeah. Mhm. Thank you!"

Sunoo hung up loudly, and looked at Heeseung with a cocked brow. "I was just on the phone with Yunjin. She says you should probably go talk to [Name]."

Heeseung looked at Sunoo incredulously, but the expectant expressions on his friends' faces made him groan.

"Fine!"

As Heeseung creeped down the school hallway, he came to the classroom that you hung out in at lunch: your homeroom. Standing outside the door, the boy took a deep breath.

Relax, it's just [Name], he had to tell himself, as if that helped at all. What was he even going to say? 

'Hey, are you dating the person that sent you that letter? If you aren't, do you want to get married to me? Haha.'

????

Just as Heeseung was about to slide the door open, he heard a very familiar laugh from inside. Of course he could recognize it. After all, it was you. 

"Yuri is so cute!" he heard you giggle. "She wrote me that little letter as a joke, but I think I'm actually in love with her."

In.

Love.

With.

Her.

"Awww, Yuri, come here and give me a kiss!"

Come.

Give.

You.

A.

Kiss.

"I'm gonna marry you, Yuri!"

Marry.

You.

Yuri.

To Heeseung, everyone was an enemy. No matter their gender or class, the moment that he heard that you got a love letter, everyone became a suspect. It all made sense now. Yuri Jo, the 'Yuri' that you were talking about and to, was from Class 2. He knew that you and her were friends, but he didn't know that you were romantically interested in her. 

Jungwon was right. Now you were going to walk off into the sunset hand-in-hand with her!

hee: guys what if [name] is already taken :(

jakey: what are you on about this time

There was something scary about a 6-feet tall guy mulling around and sulking all day, so luckily no one got in Heeseung's way as he brooded. Unfortunately, he felt his heart hurt whenever he looked at you. Almost cartoonishly, he'd turn away, close his eyes in dramatic pain, and pout. Although he acted a little bit theatrical, it was no doubt that Heeseung felt sad. He really thought he had a chance with you, and now he felt stupid.

Except, he was stupid.

But for a different reason.

"Jesus Christ, you're actually hopeless, Heeseung."

After school, your friends cornered him, somewhere where you wouldn't see. His friends were somehow in close communication with your friends.

"I can't believe you thought me and [Name] were actually dating!"

Heeseung scowled, crossing his arms over his chest, as he leaned against a locker. Before him stood Yunjin, Winter, Yuri, along with a few other of your friends, Hitomi and Minju. 

"I don't know!" Heeseung huffed. "Everyone is an enemy to me—” he glanced at Yuri— “Including Yuri.”

Yunjin scoffed in disbelief. "You're insane."

Soooo... You weren't in any romantic relationship with anyone. Yuri sent you that letter as a joke, and you were just really close to her. Good.

"I don't know how I feel about this guy getting with our [Name]," Winter muttered to Hitomi and Minju, but loud enough for Heeseung to hear.

"Hey!"

"I know, he's a total dumbass," Minju grumbled back.

"Dude, I'm right here!"

Hitomi rolled her eyes. "Whatever. Well, are you free on Friday after school?"

"Yeah, why?" They always asked Heeseung that question when they had some crazy plan up their sleeve. Not like he was any better.

"Wellll," Hitomi began in a sing-songy voice. "[Name] really wants to go to that Cinnamoroll Sweet Cafe in Hongdae on Friday, but none of us are available."

Heeseung nodded slowly. 

"I think it'd be a good way for you to get closer to her, dontcha think?"

And that's how Heeseung scored his first (unofficial) date with you

When your friends told you that Heeseung would accompany you to Hongdae, you almost jumped for joy. Almost. Friday couldn't come any faster. The plan was that you'd meet Heeseung at the train station at 4:30PM, meaning that you had a bit of time to change and get ready. You didn't want to get too ahead of yourself and call it a date, but oh boy did you want to.

What were you going to wear? What if you were too formal? Should you go for a casual look or something more put-together? You needed to impress him!

When Friday came, you practically ran home to get ready. You perfected your makeup, and put on your prettiest outfit. Spraying yourself with your signature perfume, you looked in the mirror. Hopefully, he'll like how you look. 

At the corner of your eye, you spot a black, leather jacket. His black, leather jacket. Without even thinking, you slinked toward it, slipping into the jacket. It smelled like him, the faint scent of his cologne lingering on the leather.

With a final glance in the mirror, you left for the train station.

On the other hand, to say that Heeseung was nervous for the date was an understatement. His heart was about to fall out of chest. He changed into something more casual, made sure to brush out his disheveled hair, and reapplied his cologne. He came to the train station 20 minutes early, just in case something went terribly wrong. He glanced at his phone. For the date, he managed to get a hold of your number, for “communication purposes.” He’d wanted to text you all week, but didn’t have the courage to.

“Hee?” your soft voice calling his name got his attention. Behold, you standing there before him, all dolled up and pretty. This must be the sight he’ll see when he enters heaven, he thought. 

“Hi,” he said, his eyes glazing over your face. You were so pretty. Did you dress up for him? He didn’t want to get ahead of himself, but the idea that you wanted to look good for him made Heeseung’s heart skip a beat. “You look…”

He didn’t mean to say that. You smile bashfully. “I look…?”

“So pretty,” Heeseung breathed. “You look so pretty.”

“Thank you,” you smile. Your fingers reach for the hem of his shirt, playing with it, which sends his heart racing. “Well, I think you look handsome, Hee.”

“Th-Thanks.”

The two of you stare into each other’s eyes for a few moments, and Heeseung swears that you’re looking at his lips. You spoke up, breaking the silence. “You notice anything about me?”

Heeseung grasped the collar of his jacket gently with both hands. “My jacket.”

“I was going to give it back to you earlier,” you begin, eyes trained on his lips, “But I think I’ll keep it for today, yeah? Since I look so pretty in it.”

“Oh fuck,” Heeseung cursed under his breath, loud enough for you to hear it and giggle. “Yeah, you can keep it for as long as you want.”

“As long as I want?” you purred, taking a step closer to him. Although it wasn’t clear to anyone else, you were a mess inside. Your heart was palpitating so hard that you could hear it in your ears. Your throat felt dry, and your hands were shaking with mere anxiety and excitement. “What about forever?”

Heeseung cracked a grin. “Do whatever you want. You’re pretty.”

If it wasn’t for the train announcement, you thought you would have kissed his pretty lips right then and there. Taking Heeseung’s hand, you led him to your train cart. 

“Let’s go, Hee.”

The train is much more packed than you expected, but it was the beginning of the weekend after all. The trip from Gyeonggi Province to Hongdae should take no less than an hour. Unfortunately, because of the amount of people in the train, you and Heeseung had to stand for the majority of the time. It should have been uncomfortable, but it simply wasn't. Because you were with Heeseung.

Standing only a few inches away from the boy, your chests almost pressed against each other. You could feel his breath fan your cheeks. The both of you held onto the pole, hands barely brushing against each other when the cart shook against the rails. 

At some point, the shaking was a lot more aggressive than it had previously been. Instinctively, your hand reached for his broad shoulders for stability. Likewise, Heeseung reached for your waist, holding you in place. You and Heeseung shared a long, drawn-out look, eyes getting lost in one another's, before you both avert your gazes shyly, muttering, "sorry." Yet, neither of you moved your hands from their newfound positions.

As minutes passed on the train, your eyes were glued to Heeseung, at least when he wasn't watching. 

You loved the reddish blush that naturally decorated his under-eyes, and the natural corally red at tinted the tip of his ears. His glossy eyes and heart-shaped lips had to be your favorite feature of his, if not for his large, yet delicate hands, so gentle and soft.

You were deep in thought when you suddenly felt a hand creeping on your leg. Nimble fingers from behind, brushing up against the hem of your dress. From the corner of your eye, you saw an older man. He looked unkempt and scruffy, like a delinquent– but nothing like Heeseung. Heeseung looked much better than him.

The man reeked of cigarettes and musk. A nasty grin spread across his face as he peered down at your exposed legs. His hands creeped toward them again, now slightly pushing your dress up. Your teeth sunk into your bottom lip, your entire body stiffening. Your heart began to pound in your chest, your cheeks and skin feeling hot. 

Panic overtook your system. Your once soft breaths became much shorter and quicker, inhaling and exhaling shallow air.

You’ve never been in a situation like this; you’d  never wished, thought, or even considered something like this happening to you– why would you? You had no idea what to do, and were not at all prepared for this. The train was packed to the brim, this man was much bigger and stronger than you, and you did not know how to fight.

The hand moved past your skirt, now under it and directly in contact with your skin. The hand felt dirty, brushing against you. A small frantic whimper escaped your lips when the man’s hand squeezed your bare thigh. It was a small sound, barely audible in the vast bustle of the subway. However, someone did hear it.

Heeseung, doe-eyed and lost in his own world, immediately darted his eyes over to you the moment he heard a sound of discomfort. 

When your eyes met, you could only signal helplessly. Your gaze was wide, pupils dilated, with fear and panic. Heeseung’s eyes narrowed, staring into your eyes for a moment before analyzing your expression. The way you were extremely tense and overwrought casted a sense of suspicion in his head, and your eyes that were seemingly pleading him made him think.

Help, your eyes said.

Heeseung’s dark eyes flickered from your face, to your entire body language, and back to your face, before he spotted a few, foreign fingers creeping around your leg area.

Your shifty eyes kept moving from Heeseung’s to the side, but now that he looked at it, it was like they were pointing behind you. And lo and behold, behind you was a musky pervert, who was shamelessly touching you.

“[Name]…” he whispered. His fists clenched, teeth gritting. He sucked in a deep breath, feeling anger build up in his stomach. You whimpered again in response. He brought a hand to ghost over your shoulder, pushing you very, very, gently to the side. “Move.”

He wound up his fist and sent the hardest punch he could muster to the man square in the jaw.

The man lurched back immediately, his hand moving far, far, away from you. A groan left his lips, his head being thrown back in pain. The man’s fall had pushed a few other people down as well. Other bystanders watched on in shock. Some took out their phones to record and take pictures, others to tell their friends.

You just stood still, leaning into Heeseung, whose fist was a faint red color. With a very careful hand, he brushed the lifted hem of your dress down, which had been messed with earlier.

The man quickly got up once he noticed the new and tense silence over the subway cart.

“Hey!” he shouted, pushing himself up from his downtrodden position. “You little punk, who the fuck do you think you-”

The train announcer called for the stop. Heeseung, ignoring the man, took your arm, pulling you out the door. Before he himself left, Heeseung landed a kick to the man’s crotch, muttering, “Fucking bastard.”

"W-Wait, Hee-!"

Heeseung was silent as the train doors opened, only pulling you along with him. When the two of you were far from the train, he finally stopped, turning to you.

"Are you okay?" was all he asked. You shifted uncomfortably at the thought of what happened earlier.

"Y-Yeah..." you played with the hem of his jacket sheepishly. "Thanks for what you did back there."

Heeseung jolted up at the mention. He didn't love using violence, despite his 'delinquent' reputation, especially in front of you. His hands joined yours at the hem of his jacket, shyly brushing up against yours. 

"Next time," he began, beginning to play with the zipper, "I'll fight every person on that train so that you can sit."

You smiled softly. "You don't have to do that, Hee."

Heeseung slowly zipped up his jacket on you, meeting your eyes, before straightening out your collar. 

"But I want to," he breathed. You gazed at him. His hands were still on the collar of the jacket, close to your face. You noticed the red smudges on his knuckles from punching the man on the train. You took that hand, opening it up, and nuzzling your cheek into it. You took his other hand. To Heeseung's surprise, you pressed soft kisses on his knuckles, rubbing them with your thumb.

"What are you..." his breath hitched when your eyes flickered to his, holding steady eye-contact. 

You pressed one last kiss on his palm. "Thank you, Hee. Really."

"Of course, [Name]," he finally whispered. "Anything for you."

And so, your first date with Heeseung began.

The sweet scent of cinnamon and pastries hit your noses the moment you guys stepped into the Cinnamoroll Cafe. When you were seated, you took a look at the menu. So far, the date was going smoothly. Other than the run-in at the beginning, the chemistry between the two of you was sparking. The conversation was flowing, and if that already wasn't a dream come true, you kept touching Heeseung. On your end, you were practically vibrating in your seat with the sheer amount of excitement you had bubbling in you. You couldn't believe you were on a date with the Heeseung Lee sharing a strawberry banana parfait. 

"Hee," you said, motioning him to come closer to you. He did, so you cupped his cheek, bringing your thumb up to wipe a stray piece of the parfait from his cheek. 

"Oh-" Heeseung's face reddened. How embarrassing! Did you think he was a slob now? You only giggled, bringing both hands up to hold his face. You squished the boy's cheeks, laughing at the way his brows cutely crashed into each other.

"You're so cute, Hee," you said, playing with his cheeks. "The cutest."

That's all you, he thought. You're going to drive him crazy.

Or, at least he thought he thought.

Did he just say that out loud? Heeseung groaned when you threw your head back laughing, hiding his own face in your palms. You chuckled.

Feeling bold, you cupped his cheeks again. You leaned closer, holding his face close to yours. You kissed a soft and chaste kiss on his nose. You couldn't help the heat that rose to your cheeks as the boy flopped over the table, hiding his face in his arms. You ran your fingers through his hair comfortingly, cooing at his cuteness.

"You can't do this to me," Heeseung murmured.

You laughed. It wouldn't hurt to tease him a little more, right? You leaned down, giving the boy another kiss. This time, though, you kissed the top of his head.

"Hee, baby, you're just the cutest, you know that right?"

Heeseung combusted.

After the Cafe, Heeseung and you walked around the Hongdae Festival Street. By now, it was beginning to get darker outside, the air cooling down. It was cold, but to Heeseung, it was perfect, because now he had an excuse to hold your hand. As the two of you walked and talked, you enjoyed the sight of the lights and bustling street. 

Suddenly, a new voice interrupted the two of you's conversation. Turning around, you saw two guys who looked around your age. They were holding a camera and a microphone.

"Hi!" they said, smiling. "We're interviewing couples in Hongdae, would you guys like to be in it? We’ll blur your faces."

Heeseung glanced your joined hands, then back at the two guys, then back at your hands, "O-Oh, we're not a coupl—"

You cut him off. "Of course, we'd love to!"

You flashed Heeseung a grin, squeezing his hand twice, almost as if to say, 'Just go with it.' His ears began to burn, his neck prickling with warmth, before clearing his throat. "Y-Yeah..." he squeezed your hand, "We'd love to."

The two guys cheered, turning on their camera. "All right, first question. How did you guys meet?"

"We went to middle school together," you were quick to answer. "I thought he was really cute, but we didn't start talking until this year."

You didn't know what the fuck you were saying. Was it risky to be so truthful for an internet interview, right in front of your long-time crush? Absolutely. But your heart was pounding so hard in your chest, simply waiting for Heeseung's response.

On the other hand, Heeseung's mind was in complete shambles. Were you telling the truth? The way you answered so smoothly with absolutely no hesitation made it almost seem natural.

"And you?" the interviewer asked. "What did you think about her when you first met?"

"I—" Heeseung's breath hitched. "I thought she was the most beautiful person I'd ever seen."

The way you glanced at him made Heeseung's heart feel like it was about to fall out. "I.. I still think that."

Your expression was unreadable, your lips pressing into a thin line. Then, a huge smile broke out on your face.

"Awww, Heeeee! I didn't know you thought about me like that!" You squeezed his hand again, and he squeezed it back.

"How long have you guys been together?" the interviewer asked.

"We just started dating!" You answered enthusiastically, a weird, surprised sound coming from Heeseung.

The rest of the interview went smoothly, with you mostly answering the questions. You quietly thanked the interviewers, and you and Heeseung were on your way.

Your words kept ringing in Heeseung's head.

Especially your answer to the question, "Why did you like him?"

You answered, "Because he's so perfect."

Heeseung? Perfect? He couldn't believe his ears! Were you telling the truth?

A calm silence fell over you and Heeseung as you walked the bustling streets of Hongdae. That question lingered in his mind, and before he knew it, his mouth was moving faster than his mind.

"Did you mean anything you said?"

His voice seemed to reverberate against the night air, ringing in his ears. You chewed on your lip. Then, you sucked in a sharp breath.

"Of course, Hee," you finally answered. "If it's you, I mean everything."

Heeseung sucked his bottom lip into his teeth, biting down so hard he drew blood. Once again, his hands found home on the hem of his jacket draped over you. 

"Good." He couldn't meet your eyes, not with the knowledge that you meant everything you said. He forced his attention onto the hem of the leather jacket that you were wearing, too shy to look at you. 

Heeseung only looked up when he felt your thumb pressing against his lip, eyes widening.

"Don't bite your lip too hard, Hee," you said, a smile in your voice. You thumb swiped against his lip, wiping off the small blotch of blood on it. "You'll bleed, and I'll have to kiss it better."

Heeseung's tongue darted out to swipe over his bleeding lip, brushing against your thumb. "What if I want you to kiss it better?"

"Well, then you better not keep me waiting."

His eyes flickered to your lips. He wanted to kiss them so bad. They looked so soft. What would they taste like? You liked strawberries— maybe they'd taste like that. When he didn't say or do anything, you changed the topic, unable to hide the disappointment in your face.

"Did you mean it?" You asked. "When you said that I was the most beautiful person you'd ever seen?"

"Oh my god, yes," Heeseung said under his breath, eyes still trained on your lips. "Always."

Another silence fell of you two, simply getting lost in each other's eyes. Maybe it was something in the Hongdae air, but Heeseung felt brave. His hand slithered to your waist, bringing you closer to him. When you slid your hands up his chest, resting them on his shoulders, Heeseung audibly gulped. Your faces inched closer and closer, until you could feel his breath against your cheek. You wanted to lean in and close the gap so bad. And you could tell that he wanted to, too.

Just as you were about to, however, the sound of a car honking and tires screeching interrupted you. Heeseung instinctively pulled away, his head whipping around to look at the commotion.

Oh hell no.

You were not going to let that stop you.

You snatched Heeseung's hand, before pulling him with you. You don't know how much you ran, or for how long, but you ran and ran until you found an empty alleyway.

You pushed him against the hard, concrete wall, a bit harsher than you expected too. Holding him by his shoulders, you put all your weight on him, caging him against the wall.

"You'd let me kiss you, right?" you rasped, out of breath.

Heeseung, also breathless, stared at you, lips parted. 

"I thought I already said," he breathed, "Do whatever you want. You're pretty."

With that, you crashed your lips onto his. His lips were soft, a little chapped. It felt so surreal. The scent of his cologne made you feel dizzy. When you pulled away, it was evident that he was feeling the same as you were. 

It was a chaste kiss, but the tension was so thick in the air. Somehow, that made it even more intimate.

"Wow..." was all Heeseung could utter. Under the moonlight, with you pressed up against him, you looked so goddamn pretty. Your face was illuminated with the pale light, making you look like an angel. Was he in heaven? Did he die yet? He wouldn't mind if he died right then and there, now that you (you!) kissed him. "Fuck, you're gonna kill me, [Name]."

"But you'd like it, right? Because I'm so pretty." The teasing tone in your voice would normally make Heeseung melt, but all he could do was grin. 

"You know I would."

The rest of the night, you and Heeseung don't kiss anymore. Not because you guys didn't want to kiss, but because the adrenaline wore off, and now the both of you were shy. It was almost comical, the way both of you completely reverted back to your bashful and sheepish selves, barely able to make eye-contact with each other.

"Thank you for tonight, Hee," you hummed, as you and Heeseung walked to the train station, hand-in-hand. "I had a lot of fun."

He scanned your face. The slight curve on your lips (oh god, your lips, the way the corner of your lip had a smudge of lipstick from kissing him earlier —how badly he wanted to kiss them again) was contagious. "Of course. I had a lot of fun, too."

The train ride back was quiet. You eventually began dozing off, resting your head on his shoulder.

"You did what?!" was the collective reaction of both you and Heeseung's friends. After that Friday together, you called together all of your friends to your house, to spill the beans. Likewise, Heeseung forced every single one of his friends into his living room.

"Ouuu, you little flirt!" Yunjin exclaimed. Currently, Yunjin, Winter, Hitomi, Yuri, and Minju were seated on your bedroom floor, while you dramatically flopped around on your bed. 

It was now that you explained to your friends your long-time crush on Heeseung, much to their pleasant surprise.

"And then what happened?" Minju asked, filing her finger-nails. "Did you profess your undying love for him?"

You groaned into your pillow. "I can't!"

"Why not?" Winter quirked a brow. "You guys literally kissed."

You let out another groan. "What if he doesn't like me like that?"

Your friends deadpanned.

Heeseung Lee didn't like you. He loved you. They would know better than anyone.

"[Name], honey, you're overthinking it," Yuri nudged you with her foot. "He gave you his jacket. I think that says enough."

"Well, what if I'm just getting ahead of myself and he's just being nice?"

"Girl..."

Heeseung had a similar reaction.

All of his friends stared at him like he just punched their grandmothers.

"You can't be serious right now, hyung..." Sunghoon said, pinching his nose-bridge.

All of his friends were piled onto one couch, while Heeseung laid out on the one across from them, almost like they were in a therapy session. 

"What if she just thinks I'm a good friend?" Heeseung used his hands to speak, theatrically moving them.

"What makes you think that?" Sunoo asked incredulously. 

Heeseung groaned. "[Name] tells Yuri Jo that she wants to marry her and they're good friends."

"Okay, and?"

"Well," Heeseung huffed. "What if [Name] kissed me because she sees me the same way that she sees Yuri?"

"Well, I'm good friends with Jungwon-hyung and I don't kiss him," Riki said matter-of-factly.

"Right..." Jungwon nodded his head slowly. "Hyung, do you really think a good friend would pin you against a wall and kiss you?"

"Do you think a good friend would kiss you three times and then call you cute like a bajillion other times?!" Jake chimed in.

"Let alone choose to keep your jacket?!" Jay sounded tired.

Heeseung clasped his hands together, thinking for a few moments.

"Yes."

All of his friends groaned in defeat.

"You're hopeless."

After a lot of urging and cross-communication between friend-groups, both of your friends managed to convince both you and Heeseung to confess to each other the next Monday.

"What if I faint the moment she says my name?" Heeseung catastrophized to Jay in the school bathroom. 

"Uh, I doubt that, hyung."

Heeseung texted you to meet him under the stairwell, and that was when he was going to confess. On your end, the moment that he texted that, you decided that you'd confess to him then.

When the time came, Heeseung headed out to the stairwell. His hands were clammy, and even when he wiped him on his uniform pants, he couldn't stop the trembling of his hands. What if everyone was instilling false hope in him? Gosh, Heeseung thought he was going to throw up. His stomach was churning, he was going to collapse if he saw you right now—

"Hee?" Your voice broke him out of his internal spiral. Seemingly, there was a halo around you, a light so bright that Heeseung was blinded.

"H-Hi," he stammered, straightening out his posture and clearing his throat.

Your hands were clasped behind your back, leaning forward toward him. "You wanted to talk to me, yeah?"

Heeseung couldn't bring himself to meet your gaze, his shoes suddenly becoming interesting. "Y-Yeah..."

The hallway where the stairwell was located was beginning to feel stuffy. Heeseung had never felt so nervous in his life. He was light-headed, barely able to even balance himself.

"Hee," you reached out to touch his arm, noticing his discomfort. "Let's go outside, okay?"

Going outside should have helped him cool down, but when you shrugged on his leather jacket to combat the cool air, Heeseung realized that there was no way in hell that he was going to get through this confession without dropping dead. 

The two of you walked around the school yard for a few minutes in silence. 

How should he start this confession? He had Sunghoon and Jake write out a script for him, and he spent the entire night memorizing it, but now in your presence he couldn't remember a single word. Should he have written a letter like Yuri Jo? Heeseung couldn't possibly contain himself.

"Hee," you finally said, disrupting the silence. "I have something to tell you."

Heeseung's mind wandered to the worst case scenario. 

You're going to tell him that you're moving across the world to marry the love of your life, aren't you? You're going to say that he's a great friend and that you just got a boyfriend, right? 

No, he needed to tell you his feelings first! If he didn't now, he'd never, and he'd burst into a million pieces!

"M-Me too!" he blurted, stopping in his tracks. 

You blinked at him, then smiled.

Oh, no! It's actually happening!

He could already hear your voice saying, "Hi, Heeseung, my boyfriend just proposed to me and you're invited to the wedding."

You sucked in a breath, parting your lips to speak.

He needed to tell you first! The little demons in his head kept replaying the scene of you asking him to be your groom of honor at your wedding with the love of your life next Saturday. He could hear the marriage officiant announcing, “I now pronounce you husband and wife” at your wedding, and he imagined himself sitting in that little wedding venue holding back tears.

Oh my god, he needed to say it now, or he'll never say it ever!

"Hee, I really--"

Heeseung cut you off. He squeezed his eyes shut, hands balling into fists.

"I like you, [Name]!" he yelled.

.

.

.

You stared at him in disbelief. Or were you flustered? Heeseung couldn't tell. With too much adrenaline in his veins, Heeseung threw away all the preparation and drafted scripts he and his friends made for this very moment.

"I-I.. I like you so much, I'm scared that I'm going to explode!" Heeseung continued shouting at you. He had no idea what he was saying. All he was doing was telling you the thoughts he'd had about you all this time. "You're so, so, so pretty and I can't believe that you're an actual, real, physical, person, and you make me feel so fucking stupid, I can't take it."

Your eyes were bulging out of your head at this point, your jaw dropped. 

"I've never liked anyone like I've liked you, a-and I just wanted to tell you this before you... you go off with someone else!"

Heeseung kept his eyes shut when he was done confessing, letting out a labored breath. There was no way that he could face you. The silence that fell over the two of you made Heeseung's heart sink to the bottom of his stomach. He squeezed his eyes in embarrassment. He gripped the hem of his shirt to relieve the bubbling anxiety inside him. Gosh, he was going to puke.

After a few moments, nothing happened. You didn't say a word. Did you just leave him there standing? Of course, you did. You were probably too kind and angelic to outright reject him. He was a fool to think that he had a chance with you—

Heeseung heard footsteps, and before he could react, he felt a pair of lips on his.

His eyes shot open.

You.

Were.

Kissing.

Him.

!!!

After he confessed!

Poor boy was so stiff, eyes wide.

Did that mean you liked him back?

You pulled away.

Usually, you had a reassuring smile on your face by default. Even during times where you were embarrassed, you almost never showed it on your face.

But this time, your entire face was painted with a flustered expression. Your cute lips jutted out in a mini pout, while your eyes were glued to the ground, avoiding his gaze.

A few pulses passed.

"I... I like you, too... by the way," you murmured.

Another few pulses passed.

You. Liked. Him.

Nonononono wait, was he dreaming?

You.

YOU.

The beautiful, angelic you. 

Liked him.

Without thinking, Heeseung stepped forward, gently grabbing your face.

"You're real, right?" he breathed. When glossy eyes stared back at him, Heeseung felt warmth spread across his chest. Your lips looked so appealing right now, he was craving them again. "I'm not dreaming, yeah?"

You blinked at him a few times. The corners of your lips quirked upward.

"Why, because I'm 'so pretty that you can't believe I'm real?' " your voice had a teasing tone in it, referencing his earlier confession. Heeseung chuckled, letting go of your face so that he could slide his hands to where they belonged: around your waist.

"Just kiss me," he mumbled, looking at you with lidded eyes.

You grinned. "Gladly."

With that, you smashed your lips onto his. Instead of the chaste, soft, kisses that you shared earlier, this one was different. You shoved your tongue into Heeseung's mouth, exploring all its crevices. Poor boy was so surprised that he squeezed your waist, letting out a small whine. The feeling of you smirking against his lips gave him butterflies.

You finally pulled away breathless, but gave him no time to breathe. You grasped his chin, giving you easy control. 

"You drive me so crazy," he murmured against the shell of your ear.

You pressed a kiss at the juncture between his neck and ear. "I drive you crazy?" you cocked your brow.

"You," you muttered. You began pressing kisses down his jaw. 

“Drive.” 

Kiss.

“Me.” 

Kiss. 

“So-” 

Kiss.

"Fucking-" 

Kiss.

"Crazy."

Before you could pounce on him with more kisses, Heeseung, red in the face, flopped over you, hiding his face in the crook of your neck. He let out a cute groan.

"What, are you getting shy on me?" you teased him, running your fingers through his hair. He shook his head against your shoulder, making you coo.

"I can't believe you like me back, that's all," he mumbled, muffled by your shoulder. 

You laughed. "How? I feel like I was so obvious."

Heeseung looked up at you with pink cheeks, frowning. "You don't even want to know how hopelessly in love with you I was."

You quirked a brow at him. 

"Yeah?" You pecked his forehead. "Try me."

Heeseung let out a breathy chuckle. He attacked your lips.

"How about I show you?"

FIN.

likes, comments, and reblogs are appreciated :)

wrong number

𓇼 pairing : roommate's best friend!jake x reader

𓇼 summary : a mistaken text might not always be a bad mistake.

𓇼 genre : smut, angst. sexting, nudes, lots of talk ab being stretched out, degrading, slight spanking ;)

𓇼 wc : 12.3k!

𓇼 taglist : @jaehoonii @ikeuverse @soobinsnovia101 @river-demon-slayer @criminalyun @idkmaybeimgay @flowerlvrs-blog @miszes @koralira-kira  @dreamiestay @vevelu @niniissus @i2sunric @belovedsthings @yeonzzzn  @littlefluu @breadlover01 @kookify @j3nnypng @crpasta @isabellah29 @starggukies @fakeuwus @yongbokified @jjakeylattee @shiningnono @lilifiedeans @simpjay @kirinaa08 @hoonneyyzz @hwanchaesong @cupidscourt @luvsweet78 @jayshadoww @cha0thicpisces @eloelooo

mdni

your roommate, sunghoon, had just said goodnight to you as you both headed off to your separate bedrooms for the night. there had been a long awaited movie night for the both of you and somehow both of you had managed to stay up so late, that both of you were going to be exhausted for university tomorrow. 

as soon as your head touches your pillow and your blanket pulls up to your chin, your phone vibrates from your nightstand. you sigh, wanting to ignore the notification, but the curiosity of who was texting you after midnight intrigued you so much that you just had to reach over and look. 

unknown : [image.jpg] [12:46]

instantly your jaw drops as you realize what the image was. this was the last thing you had expected from an unknown number. 

in the picture, was obviously a man’s hand covering his apparent large bulge in his black boxers. you could see the tan skin of his defined abs in the light glow of the room he was in. the picture showed up to his neck, his face being cut off. you wondered briefly if his face would have distracted you more than his bulge. 

unknown : [i told you i was good at taking pics, vera ;)] [12:47]

vera? you had no idea who vera was but you were definitely not her and this picture was definitely not for you. after debating on what to do about this mistaken text, another one rolled in. 

unknown : [what? cat got your tongue now?] [12:50]

you sigh but decide to answer, your thumbs moving briskly across the keyboard of your phone. sleep completely leaving your mind now as your eyes keep glancing up at the stranger’s picture. 

you : [hey, uh, this isn’t vera? so sorry] [12:50]

it only took a second after pressing send for the stranger’s texting bubble to pop up, indicating that he was typing. your nervously sat up in bed, brushing your hair out of your face. 

unknown : [oh my god i’m so sorry] [12:50] unknown : [my idiot friend gave me this number saying it was this girl vera im so sorry] [12:51]

you chuckle to yourself at his texts, feeling his obvious stress through the screen. his excessive apologies were relaxing you, knowing this wouldn’t have to be more awkward than it was. until, 

unknown : [but you must’ve thought i was good at taking pics too, i mean you stared at the pic for so long ;) ] [12:52]

you had no idea who this was but he was so cocky. but he was so right. you couldn’t take your eyes off of his picture for more than a minute. the angle it was taken at teased you to want to see more of his body. it felt wrong since the picture was obviously not meant for you. but how could you not look at a picture that made him look this good. still, you cursed yourself for having read receipts on. 

you : [i wasn’t looking at it] [12:53] you : [but it’s definitely the most interesting wrong number i’ve ever gotten ] [12:53] unknown : [oh really? how many wrong numbers do you get?] [12:54] you : [not many, but def not ones with ab pics] [12:54] unknown : [with hot ab pics?? ;)] [12:55]

your jaw drops again. how many wink faces will he send? but you sigh, because you know he’s right. 

you : [fine, not many with hot ab pics] [12:56] unknown : [glad i could be your first ;)] [12:57] unknown : [sorry i guess i’m pretty… self assured?] [12:57]

you roll your eyes at him now. this guy was definitely something else. how could he not be so embarrassed that he sent such an intimate picture to not only the wrong person, but a complete stranger at that. 

you : [i think i would use the word cocky instead] [12:58] unknown : [heyy be nice, you got that hot pic for free!] [12:58] you : [yeah well thanks a lot, now i can’t sleep] [12:59] you : [i’m wide awake bc of you] [12:59] unknown : [you’re welcome!] [1:01] unknown : [i couldn’t leave a pretty girl like you being tired!] [1:01]

you scoff at his text, but it was true. you didn’t think you could lay back down and fall asleep with this much adrenaline running through you. you were curious about this boy. he seemed to be so different compared to you. you couldn’t guess what his next text or reaction would be. you were intrigued and had nothing else to do at 1am, so you texted him again. 

you : [how do you know if i’m pretty or not??] [1:03] unknown : [i’ve got a good feeling ;)] [1:04] you : [yeah? what else does your good feeling tell you about me?] [1:04]

you realized your text could have sounded a bit flirty. maybe a bit cringey, but you figured if this stranger could be so indifferent and flirtatious then why couldn’t you?

unknown : [that you’re into dirty, nasty things] [1:06] unknown : [like riding a guys’ abs, getting yourself off] [1:06]

you felt your eyes bulge out of your head as you read his texts. your mouth felt dry as you realize he was right. you couldn’t stop staring at his pic. the way the abs were so defined just in a picture you couldn’t imagine what they looked like up close. 

you : [were you planning to get vera to do that with you?] [1:08] unknown : [nah] [1:08] unknown : [just with you] [1:08]

you have to reach over to your bedside table to get some water. you gulp it down as you keep your eyes on his texts. reading them over and over, not believing they were real. 

unknown : [would you want that?] [1:09]

you hesitantly type back. 

you : [maybe] [1:10] you : [but i usually only fuck guys with big cocks] [1:10]

you felt like you had to lower his ego somehow with the way he has been so cocky (self assured) over these texts. you could tell from the bulge in his accidental picture that he wasn’t lacking in the size department. but letting him think that it was, would justify your need to decrease his ego. 

unknown : [you don’t think i could fill you? haha] [1:11] unknown : [i would stretch you out so good] [1:12]

you would be lying if you said his texts weren’t turning you on. because truth be told, you hadn’t had sex in a while. you had gone on dates, went to parties, tried to talk to your mutual friends but no one ever seemed worth your while. 

except for this complete stranger that accidentally texted you. 

you : [hmm maybe you’ll get to show me some day] [1:13] unknown : [oh i definitely will ;)] [1:13]

after another minute another text comes through. 

unknown : [since you have a pic of me to drool over] [1:14] unknown : [how about you send me a pic? ;)] [1:14]

you instantly knew that you would not be sending this guy a picture tonight– maybe even never. you liked flirting with him. and you definitely liked his picture. but no way in hell would he be seeing you tonight. 

you : [hahaha] [1:15] you : [goodnight :)] [1:15] unknown : [goodnight] [1:16]

with that, you slid your phone onto your bedside table again and laid back down in bed. you thought of his texts and his forwardness and how it was something that you almost admired in a way. you thought that maybe it wouldn’t have been the worst idea to send him a teasing picture. you might not ever meet the guy or know who he is. but before you could think more of him and his texts, sleep crept onto you finally.

the next day, you had practically forgotten all about the flirty stranger from the night before. 

you ended up being late to class since you had slept in from staying up late the night before. which meant that you had forgotten your textbooks on your kitchen table at home. which meant each class of yours was messed up since you didn’t have your books.

you were completely frazzled the whole day, seemingly never being able to catch a break. 

you felt mentally and physically exhausted when you finally got to lay down for bed that night. you were ready for sleep when the same event happened. your phone vibrated from a notification on your bedside table. 

you sighed and reached over, not lifting your head from your pillow as you did so. and there on your phone’s screen, is another text from the unknown number.

unknown : [i can’t stop thinking about you and this convo] [10:36]

you couldn’t help the smile that grew on your face. the sleep that once consumed you was leaving your body once again due to this stranger’s text. you thought for a second, and then texted back. 

you : [what exactly have you been thinking about?] [10:38]

he was quick with his reply, no hesitation to your question. 

unknown : [what your voice sounds like] [10:38] unknown : [what it sounds like when you whisper my name] [10:38]

you : [what would i be whispering to you?] [10:40]

unknown : [all the things you’d let me do to you] [10:41] unknown : [i’ve been thinking about how much i wanna kiss you and touch you] [10:41] unknown : [make you feel good] [10:41]

after the day you had, you thought maybe this would be a good ending to it. you could feel yourself get more aroused by each of his texts coming through. 

you : [hmm] [10:42] you : [and what if i told you i’ve been thinking the same things] [10:42]

unknown : [then we definitely have to do something about it] [10:43] unknown : [sooner, rather than later] [10:43]

you : [and what exactly did you have in mind?] [10:44]

you tapped your fingers on your phone as you waited for his reply. you were getting anxious for some reason as you waited for his text longer than usual. you had wondered if he had fallen asleep or had completely forgotten about you and this convo. 

unknown : [image.jpg] [10:50]

you pressed the picture notification faster than you’d ever admit to anyone. you weren’t disappointed at the picture to say the least. 

it was a downview angle, portraying his abdomen and legs laying in bed. he was wearing nothing but a set of light gray boxers. his bulge was so very evident in the picture that it made your thighs tighten together. 

unknown : [i think it’s only fair for you to send me a pic now ;)] [10:51]

you bit your lip as you read his second message. knowing that he was right. it would be only fair at this point. 

you thought for moment of what to send him. you sat up and took your shirt off, leaving you in only your bralette. you slid your thumb to the camera on your phone and held it up. making sure to leave your face out of it, you took a picture of your breasts pushed together in your pretty bralette. 

thinking that you couldn’t do any better you sent it. and you waited for his answer which came surprisingly quick. 

unknown : [holy shit] [10:55] unknown : [you’re so hot] [10:55] unknown : [i’m actually so hard right now] [10:56]

you : [i’m so wet right now] [10:56]

you weren’t lying, you could feel your panties start to drip at the situation you were in. his texts and pictures made it easy for your panties to start to get soaked. you haven’t had any action lately, which made it even easier for you to get so wet. 

unknown : [god i bet you are] [10:56] unknown : [i wish i was there right now] [10:57] unknown : [are you touching yourself?] [10:57]

you : [yes] [10:58] you : [with my fingers] [10:58]

unknown : [let me see] [10:59]

this time, you moved with a little less hesitance. you sent a picture of your body laying down on your bed. your fingers covered by your panties as they circled your clit. he could see exactly how you were touching yourself now. 

unknown : [fuck me] [11:02] unknown : [your body’s perfect] [11:02] unknown : [image.jpg] [11:03]

you pressed the image he sent quickly. his hand was wrapped around the base of his cock as the camera pointed down at it. you could see it unveiled for the first time. it was definitely better than you would’ve ever thought. it was long, and veiny and the tip was pink and leaking precum. 

when you clicked out of the photo, he had already continued texting you. 

unknown : [it’s a shame that i’m not there with you rn] [11:03] unknown : [your thighs look so soft and warm i wish i was between them] [11:04] unknown : [i’d kill to have my tongue between your thighs] [11:04]

you tried to think of what his face would have looked like with his body and cock looking so delicious. you figured his face would have to compare to them. 

you : [i want it so bad] [11:05] you : [i want your tongue and your cock and you] [11:05] you : [i need it] [11:06]

unknown : [god i can tell how naughty you are] [11:06] unknown : [i know you like it rough] [11:06] unknown : [you wanna be pounded into the mattress] [11:07]

you continued to massage your clit in quick, small circles as you watched him type out everything you thought of. everything that turned you on, he seemed to know. 

unknown : [i have a feeling you like to be choked] [11:08] unknown : [do you want me to do that to you?] [11:08] unknown : [choke you while i fuck deep inside of you?] [11:08]

you : [god i’d love that] [11:09] you : [i wanna feel you deep inside of me] [11:09] you : [i’d take it like a good girl] [11:10]

you decided to record a video of yourself to send it to him this time. you knew he’d continue texting you as you swiped to the camera app again. you record yourself, thinking completely and only of him, even though you don’t know what he looks like or his name. 

you focus the camera on your hand in your panties. the microphone picks up on your heavy breaths and whines and the wet sounds your pussy makes as you continue your movements. 

“please sir, i want your cock deep inside of me. i know you’d stretch me out so fucking good!” you moaned loudly for him, your fingers not stopping as you stopped recording and sent it to him. 

as he watched your video, you looked back on the texts he had sent you. 

unknown : [yeah you’d be such a good girl for me right?] [11:11] unknown : [i’d have to slide my fingers into your first i bet] [11:12] unknown : [so you’d be able to take my cock] [11:12]

you : [video.mp4] [11:13]

unknown : [sir?!?!] [11:15] unknown : [god your voice is so hot] [11:15] unknown : [you’re such a dirty girl] [11:16] unknown : [you even sound so wet and creamy fuck] [11:16]

you almost laugh at his texts as you start to slide your fingers into your pussy. your middle and ring fingers easily find your g spot everytime you push them back into your core. you try to image they are this stranger, pleasuring you. 

before you could answer him, he sent a video of his own. you instantly pressed it, wanting to see him, to hear him, so bad. 

it was a video of his hand wrapped around his cock. you could see his cock glistening in the flash on his camera from his precum and most likely his spit. his hand was moving up and down his cock at a decent pace. a grunt left his mouth when his hand glided over his tip. 

you thought the video was over, but then he spoke. 

“you’re making it so hard for me to not cum. i could cum any second, but i want to hear you cum first. i wanna see it. i wanna see your- fuck, fingers soaked with your juices.” 

you replayed the video once more, needing to hear his low voice grunt out each word as he continued to pleasure himself to the things you had sent him. 

you : [you’re so fucking hot] [11:20] you : [i’m so close to cumming] [11:20] you : [i’ll cum whenever you want, sir] [11:20]

unknown : [keep pleasuring yourself baby] [11:21] unknown : [do you have your fingers deep inside of you??] [11:21] unknown : [you know they won’t stretch you as much as my cock can] [11:22]

you could tell by the pictures and his video that he was definitely telling the truth. the stretch that his cock could do had your fingers moving faster, your palm rubbing against your clit as you pushed your fingers in and out of you. 

unknown : [you’re so nasty i bet you’d like to be choked] [11:23] unknown : [my one hand on your throat] [11:23] unknown : [and my other one would be rubbing your clit] [11:23] unknown : [as i fuck you] [11:24]

you : [fuck] [11:24] you : [that’s all i want sir] [11:25] you : [can i cum for you?] [11:25] you : [please sir] [11:25]

unknown : [fuck, you cum baby] [11:25] unknown : [let sir see you cum] [11:26]

not a second later, you’re recording yourself again. making sure to get a good shot of your fingers entering and leaving your pussy. making sure he can see just how wet he has gotten you. you can’t help but whine and moan as your hips buck against your fingers. 

you’re so desperate for an orgasm. you’ve been so deprived of anything recently that you knew from the start it wouldn’t take long or much to get you to cum. but this man, this stranger, seems to know exactly what to do to get you to cry and shake and moan. 

“fuck, sir!” you cry out to him. your hips bucking against your fingers more at the thought of him watching this. at the thought of him touching you, choking you, slapping your clit, his cock stretching you so fucking good. “i’m cumming! fuck i’m cumming just for you!” 

you let your camera record your entire orgasm, pressing stop with your body still shaking and your chest heaving to catch your breath. you watch as the recording sends to him. 

it takes a minute for him to respond. your eyes becoming sleepy but your heart racing at the same time with anticipation. 

unknown : [omg] [11:30] unknown : [fuck im so close] [11:30] unknown : [fuck you’re so hot] [11:30]

you : [please cum for me sir] [11:31] you : [i wanna see it so bad] [11:31] you : [i wanna see your cum drip all over you into a little mess] [11:31]

another minute passes before you get a response and you don’t hesitate to press play. 

unknown : [video.mp4] [11:33]

the video has him jerking his cock faster than he was in the previous video. his grunting has turned into moans that are almost whiney. he’s hissing and cursing under his breath as his camera shakes. his hips are practically fucking into his hand. 

you were drooling at his video. 

“fuck you’re such a dirty slut.” he grunts out, his voice like honey despite the situation. “i- i’m so close. i wish you were here to lick up my cum.” his admission makes you wish you could lick it up. you wondered if it would taste sweet on your tongue. you feel like you’d do anything to pleasure him now, without even knowing what his face looks like. 

“fuck baby, i’m cumming.” he grunts out, his throat getting tighter as his cum spurts out of the red tip, landing on his sheets, his thighs and fingers. he curses some more as his hand comes to a halt on his cock. he moves his phone in for you to get a closer look at his mess. his breaths heavy in the microphone. “this is all for you baby.” he says finally before the recording unfortunately ends. 

you wanna watch it again but he’s already texting you again. 

unknown : [that was so good] [11:34] unknown : [i haven’t came that hard in so long] [11:35] unknown : [you’re so hot] [11:35]

you : [that was really good] [11:36]

you catch yourself smiling at your phone. between your thighs still a mess as you lay on your bed. you feel relieved in a way. you’ve been so pent up for so long that you really needed this and you didn’t even know. 

unknown : [so] [11:37] unknown : [since you made me cum so hard] [11:37] unknown : [will i get to know your name?] [11:37]

you bite your lip as you read his question. you figure that he was right, you both had seen and heard such intimate parts of one another. he had made you cum so hard, too. 

you : [y/n] [11:38]

instantly he replies. 

and his replies make your heart sink to the bottom of your stomach. 

unknown : [holy shit y/n?] [11:38] unknown : [its jake] [11:39]

you sit up in your bed, your hand gripping onto your phone tight with sudden nervousness as you take in his messages. your other hand holds your loose hair out of your face as you try to take in all the information. your brain trying to process it all. 

unknown : [holy shit] [11:39] unknown : [fucking dumbass sunghoon gave me the wrong number] [11:39] unknown : [holy shit] [11:40]

you’re reading his messages as they come through but you can’t stop yourself from hyperventilating in your bedroom that is right next door to sunghoon’s. 

the supposed stranger that you had just sexted. that had heard your moans and see your body shake from pleasure. that you had imagined their cock inside of you. was your roommates best friend. 

your roommates best friend that you were strictly told to absolutely, under no circumstances, to get involved with in any way besides friends. 

though you weren’t even sure if you and jake were friends to begin with. 

sure, you had hung out a few times when sunghoon or other mutual friends were present. you had gone to the same parties. you had said hello in your hallway before he left with sunghoon to go somewhere else. you had heard a few of his drunk stories. 

and there was that one time you had made out in his kitchen. 

you swear you had only made out for two minutes before sunghoon called jake’s name, causing both of you to pull apart before sunghoon could catch you. thankfully, sunghoon was so drunk that he didn’t sense the awkward shock that was between you two when he walked in the kitchen. 

though, those two minutes were something you thought about often, though you would never admit that to anyone. 

it was lustful and passionate and you knew you shouldn’t be doing it. you have no idea how it started, but you know it was amazing. his plush lips on your own as you let his tongue enter your mouth. you didn’t fight for dominance, letting him take over so easily. his hands roamed your body and rested on your ass, pulling you closer to him. your arms wrapped around his neck so naturally, keeping his face against yours. 

sometimes, you let yourself think about what might have happened if sunghoon hadn’t walked in. would he have taken you to his room? would you have let him? or would you have both come to your senses at some point and realize that you definitely shouldn’t have been doing that? 

you and jake had met sunghoon separately at different parts in sunghoon’s life. jake had grown up with sunghoon in their small town. while you had met sunghoon during your freshman year at university. sunghoon and you had the great idea of moving in with each other since you got along so well. he was basically your best friend. you told him everything (except for you making out with jake), he had seen you cry, he had seen you blackout drunk and he really cared about you. 

when jake started going to your university a during sophomore year, sunghoon had told you to not get involved with jake with anything more than friends. he cared about both of you equally.

you understood where he was coming from, both of his best friends dating could potentially be a disaster for him if things went wrong. he would become the middleman, and could lose both of his friends. it’s just an uncomfortable position. 

so, you knew that you could not have any feelings for jake at all before you even met him. but that was so hard since he was so attractive (and now because you knew what he sounded like when he orgasms). 

after trying to piece at least some of it together you glance back at your phone. 

unknown : [are you still there?] [11:44] unknown : [i swear i didn’t know it was you y/n] [11:44] unknown : [but you are really so hot] [11:44]

you suddenly felt like crying. you feel like you had betrayed sunghoon and his trust. but you feel like you were betraying yourself by not allowing yourself to do what you want. which you want to allow yourself to give in to jake. 

you never knew your exact feelings for jake since you always told yourself it was forbidden. but now that you’ve explored it, you know you want- need more. 

you feel like ripping your hair out. but you decide to do what is right. 

you : [night jake ] [11:45]

jake : [night y/n :( ] [11:46]

you decide to not think about what the sad face meant in his text and turn off your phone completely, putting it in it’s spot on your bedside table and rolling over for the night. you want to scream into your pillow, but you don’t. you force yourself to go to sleep, just like you force yourself to ignore anything you feel or think about jake. 

you’re doing what’s right. for the sake of your friendship with sunghoon, who was asleep just meters away from you. you could hear his snoring through the wall.

you go to bed early friday night. 

you decline sunghoon’s offer for another movie night. you practically crawl into bed, shutting your phone off completely before falling asleep, finally escaping the thoughts of jake and your betrayal to sunghoon. 

you manage to stay in bed all of saturday. you haven’t been able to face sunghoon since you apparently sexted jake a few days ago. you knew jake would not tell sunghoon about your texts, but that didn’t exactly clean your moral code. you felt wrong for lying to sunghoon while sleeping under the same roof with him. 

it’s late into the afternoon when there’s a quick, faint knock on your bedroom door. you mumble into your pillow for him to come in, knowing it was sunghoon. 

when he pushes the door open his hair is wet over his forehead and he has a towel wrapped around his slim waist. a sight that you were used to. 

“hey,” sunghoon smiles at you with a concerned expression on his face from the doorway, “you feeling alright? you’ve been in bed all day.” 

you wanna tell him that that’s the point but instead you say, “yeah i’m fine, just tired.” 

sunghoon nods and then leans on the door frame with his muscular arms crossed over his bare chest, water droplets trailing down his skin from his shower, “well we’re going to a party tonight, i wanted to see if you wanted to come.” 

you want to groan at the thought of being a party, especially at a party that jake would certainly be at, but instead you shake your head at your roommate, “nah i’m okay, i just wanna get some rest tonight, hoon.” 

sunghoon pouts at you, “aw, okay.” 

“i’m sorry, you know you’ll have fun whether i’m there or not.” 

he shrugs, “yeah, jake and sunoo will be there, too, so.” 

you smile at him, noting that you were right that jake would be at the party. he’s always at a party and he’s always with sunghoon. 

“okay, have fun, hoon.” 

“have a good rest, y/n.” 

sunghoon teasingly waves his fingers at you as he closes the door again, leaving you alone in your dark bedroom. you cover your face with your hands as you let out a groan. you hate the feeling of hiding something from someone. and this was exactly that. 

what are you supposed to do in this situation? lie to your best friend and not tell him about sexting his best friend? or tell him that you betrayed his trust? 

you roll over and go back to sleep, the darkness in your room and the tireless thoughts racing in your mind make it easy. 

you wake up again a few hours later to laughter coming from outside your bedroom, probably from your living room. you search for your phone and notice that it’s the time that sunghoon usually leaves at when he goes to parties. 

instead of only hearing sunghoon, you hear another person as well. you can tell by the two distinct voices talking back and forth, the multiple footsteps walking around your apartment. you briefly wonder who it is and stand up to go look. 

your hand wraps around the doorknob when you still, your body tensing when you hear the all too familiar voice that you were supposed to be avoiding and pretending never existed. 

“what’s taking so long, i wanna leave!” jake’s voice whines out, obviously annoyed with how slow sunghoon gets ready. 

“ok! ok! i’m coming, let’s go.” sunghoon’s voice replies, sounding like he’s walking right past your room and into the living room on the other side of your door. 

“and, uh, why isn’t y/n coming?” you hear jake ask. your name coming out of his mouth makes your heart pick up its pace. 

it takes a second for sunghoon respond, probably busy putting his shoes on, “i don’t think she’s feeling well, she seemed pretty tired when i talked to her earlier.” 

you don’t hear jake reply to sunghoon’s explanation about your absence. just some more shuffling and murmuring and then the front door to your apartment closing and locking after they leave. it’s then that you can let out the breath you didn’t realize you were holding. your palm sweaty as you finally let go of the doorknob. 

you feel so confused and alone. you have no one to talk to about this problem since the problem includes your best friend– your best friend and roommate that you tell everything to. every problem you have, you go straight to him. 

you know you couldn’t possibly keep avoiding hanging out with sunghoon, not going out and pretending jake doesn’t exist. sunghoon would catch on too quick. he knows you too well. he’s probably already suspicious as to why you didn’t want to go out tonight. 

you sigh as you try to sort out your brain. but since the apartment was now officially empty for at least a few hours, you could leave your isolated bedroom to at least get a drink of water.

you are halfway through your third episode of Gossip Girl when your phone vibrates in its usual spot on your bedside table. without tearing your eyes away from chuck brushing blair’s hair behind her ear, his lips leaning close to hers, you grab your phone. 

you glance down at it, expecting it to be an insignificant notification, but you jolt when you read the name “jake”. you’re slamming your laptop shut in an instant, pausing it when blair is about to cuss chuck out for kissing her. your entire focus is on this message now. 

jake : [hey] [12:07] jake : [hoon told me u aren’t feeling well??] [12:07] jake : [but i wanted to tell u that i wish u were here] [12:07] jake : [i’d do anything to have ur lips on mine rn] [12:08]

you want to text back and tell him that he shouldn’t be texting you this or texting you at all. that he can’t be thinking of you like this. especially when he’s out drinking with sunghoon right now. you wonder if sunghoon could see jake’s texts right now. 

jake : [can i come over?] [12:09]

your mouth goes dry when you read his text. you contemplated every single con of him coming over right now. leaving the party he’s at with sunghoon, drunk, and coming over to your apartment where there’s tension between you two when there definitely shouldn’t be. 

you : [sure] [12:10]

jake : [i’ll be there in 10] [12:11]

you had ten minutes to clean up your room that you had rotted in all day, to brush your hair and put on a clean shirt. you didn’t know what jake wanted to come over for, but you assumed it wouldn’t do you any good with fixing the betrayal you had done to sunghoon. if anything, letting jake inside this apartment right now would only make things worse for you and your roommate. 

but sure enough, ten minutes later, you let jake inside your apartment after he softly knocked on the door. 

he’s wearing a black shirt that clings to torso and dark jeans that fit him well. his hair is tousled, as if he ran his fingers through it a few times during the night. he smells like his familiar cologne mixed with a faint smell of alcohol, instantly reminding you of the party he came from. 

“i’m sorry if i woke you,” jake speaks first as you close the door behind him. 

“it’s fine,” your voice comes out quiet and shaky and both of you pick up on how anxious and reserved you’re being. so different from your usual self. you clear your throat, “was the party not fun enough for you?” 

jake scoffs as he leans against the back of the couch, so confidently, as he looks at you practically folded into yourself, “it was fine. i just couldn’t stop thinking about you.” 

you shake your heads thim, “jake, we can’t do this. sunghoon would be really upset.” 

jake moves closer to you, his scent getting stronger. his voice is soft but intense when he speaks, “sunghoon isn't here right now. it’s just us.” he looks around the apartment to prove a point, “and i want you y/n. i want you so bad.” 

you take a step back, your back hitting the closed apartment door, your heart is racing as you look up at him. “he’s our best friend, jake. this,” you gesture between your bodies, “could really mess things up with our friendship with him.” 

jake steps forward again, closer to you. he slowly, almost hesitantly, reaches out and gently cups your face, almost scared you’re gonna disappear on him. it’s the first time jake and you have touched since you’ve made out so many months ago. “i know, but i can’t stop thinking about you,” his voice gets deeper, “ever since i’ve heard the way you moan and beg for more, i need you.” you gasp quietly at his words, your eyes not being able to leave him as he finishes, “don’t you feel the same?”

your resolve weakens as you look at his puppy-like features, “jake, i do. you know i do. but it’s complicated.”

“it doesn’t have to be. just one night. let’s see where this goes. we can figure out the rest later.” jake tsks at you, his whole body pressing against yours now, pinning you against the door. when you don’t (can’t) answer, jake smiles, his lips brush against your ear, “let me show you how good i can make you feel, baby.”

you close your eyes, feeling the pull of desire overpowering you, “jake… i…” 

jake starts kissing your neck softly, whispering into your skin, “just say yes y/n. i’ve been thinking about this all week. all i want is you. i wanna know how you taste.” 

you can’t help the moan that escapes your lips, your arms wrapping around his neck, “please.” 

you feel jake smile against your skin. he’s lifting you up and carrying you out of the living room in a second. your squeal of shock and excitement fill your shared apartment. 

jake puts you down onto your bed. his lips meet yours with fast passion. they’re moving against yours with need. you can slightly taste the alcohol on his breath mixed with a mint flavour. both of you can tell that you’ve been wanting this forever. 

“can i take this off?” jake asks you, his fingers pulling on the bottom hem of your tank top. you nod in response, lifting your back off the mattress for him to pull it off completely. it leaves your chest exposed to him, his eyes widening as he stares at you. “fuck you’re so perfect.” 

before you can respond jake leans his head down and starts to nip and suck at one of your nipples. his other hand tweaks your other nipple with his fingers, pulling on it gently. he gets both of your nipples erect and hard, the feeling of them having attention makes your stomach tighten with pleasure. 

“are you gonna show me how much of a naughty girl you are, y/n? or were you just being a tease in those texts?” jake asks you, his voice deeper than ever. 

“what i said in the texts were true.” you tell him, your hands staying at your sides. 

“yeah? so you want my tongue, baby? want me to taste your pretty pussy?”

“please, wanna feel your tongue on me so bad.” 

jake presses a soft kiss onto your lower abdomen with a smirk before he starts to undo the string on your shorts and pull them down alongside your panties. you’re completely bare and exposed just for him, while he’s still completely dressed on top of you. 

the tension between you two is unmatchable as jake’s eyes switch from looking at your wet core to your eyes. he lets out a guttural groan as he leans down to press his tongue flat onto your pussy and licks a strip right up. you let out a moan of relief as you finally get to feel him. 

“oh fuck, you taste better than i imagined,” jake groans out before diving back in between your legs. he keeps his hands on your thighs, making your legs stay spread apart for him to pleasure you. his tongue does circles around your clit quickly. he alternates circling your clit with sucking it into his mouth and moving his head side to side. his pace is quick and rough and it’s all that you’ve wanted. “do you know how many times i’ve thought about this?” 

“fuck, probably as much as i have.” you hate how your voice already sounds out of breath. 

jake is licking long stripes up your entire pussy, making sure to get all of it wet, making sure to taste all of it. he groans out against your clit at your answer. 

“i’ve wanted my tongue on you since before i even met you– since sunghoon showed me a picture of you.” jake confesses, you aren’t sure if he’d tell you this if he wasn’t intoxicated, but you don’t regret hearing it. “and then it turns out i got to see your dirty pictures, got to read your dirty texts.” 

you moan out, you throw your head back as he continues to lick and suck in between his sentences. he’s really making such a mess in between your legs. his salvia mixed with your juices and spreading it all over. 

“you don’t know how many times i’ve looked at the pictures you sent me, y/n. they get me so hard so quick.” jake moves his tongue around and around your clit, hard and fast. 

“oh fuck, that feels so good, sir.” 

jake groans out at the name, his eyes closing as he continues to eat you out. he’s practically making out with your core at this point. he’s moaning into your pussy, his tongue and lips are sucking and swirling everywhere. his chin and lips are shining with your juices and his saliva. he almost looks beautiful. 

you reach down and let your hand tangle in his hair, pulling his face even closer to you, wanting and need more. 

“do you like the way i taste, sir?” 

“fuck, i love the way you taste. wish i could taste you forever.” jake moves his head up and down as he drags his tongue all over you. your inner thighs feel drenched, you’re sure there’s a wet spot on your blanket below you. 

jake pulls away for a second, his hand gliding around your thighs and abdomen, “fuck look at this little pussy– so fucking tight. you know you won’t be able to take my cock properly right?” 

you nod down to him, your fingers tweaking your nipples for pleasure, “fuck i know, sir. i need to be stretched out so bad. need to be stretched out by you.” 

jake bites his lip as he lets out a groan, your words obviously having an effect on him. his fingers pinch your lips together gently, “fuck it’s so small.” he can feel his cock twitch in his pants against your mattress. 

“please sir, i need you in me. i’ve wanted it for so long.” 

“okay, baby, okay.” jake nods and starts to slide his middle finger into you slowly. his finger glides in easily with how wet you are. he moves it out slowly again, warming you up for his big cock. “you tell me when i find your g spot, okay?” 

you nod at him, your fingers continuing to tweak your nipples, pulling on them gently as you watch him concentrate on making you feel good. his finger continues to prod until it hits your g spot, making your thighs spasm for a second. 

“fuck, right there, sir.” 

jake’s finger hits the same spot again, “right there?” 

“mhm,” you nod to him, “right there feels so good.” 

jake then eases another finger in alongside the first one. even the smallest stretch from his fingers makes you cry out. his fingers are so much wider and longer than your own. it’s been so long since you’ve been touched, stretched out, pleasured. 

“fuck! oh my god,”

jake leans down and starts sucking your clit into his mouth. his fingers pick up their pace slowly, making sure to hit your g spot everytime. he keeps one of his hands on your lower abdomen, keeping you from moving your hips too much. 

“i want you to cum for me, baby.” jake speaks into your pussy, his lips massaging you core. 

“i’m so close, sir. i want to cum so bad!” you figure if you weren’t so touch deprived and turned on, the higher pitch and desperation of your voice would humiliate you. but for right now, all you could think about was cumming on jake’s fingers and mouth. 

“give it to me, cum for me, let me see how much of a slut you can be.” jake grunts out to you. 

jake’s fingers start to pump faster and harder into you. the squelching noises of your wet pussy filled the room, mixing with your cries of pleasure and jake’s name. his tongue starts to flick your clit side to side before circling it and repeating. your grip on his hair tightens as your stomach starts to convulse with pleasure. 

“fuck i’m cumming, oh my god!” 

your body stills as waves of pleasure start to wash over you,jake never stopping his movements, wanting you to ride out the pleasure. you gasp and cry as your mind goes numb, the orgasm hitting you harder than ever. 

when the final wave of pleasure finishes, jake pulls away from you. your body is high on adrenaline and pleasure and all you can think about is jake’s cock finally filling you up. 

“fuck that was so hot,” jake stares at you with his mouth agape. 

you laugh breathlessly at him, “thank you?” 

jake leans over your body, pressing his lips to yours. the kiss is different this time. it’s sweet and nice in comparison to how dirty your actions were just seconds before. you can taste your juices on his lips and can feel how wet his chin is from eating you out. it’s so passionate that if your head wasn’t consumed by the thought of his clothed, hard cock rubbing against your bare pussy, that it would’ve scared you. 

“i wanna feel you inside of me,” you pull away from him, your hand cupping his jaw. 

jake bites his plush lip, “god this is like a dream.” 

you push him away, rolling your eyes with a laugh. jake stands, pulling his shirt off of his body first. his tan skin visible to yours eyes, allowing you to scan his upper half. you’ve seen him shirtless before. like last summer when you all went to the beach. of course, you couldn’t have checked out his body as freely as you can now– sunghoon wasn’t here to reprimand you. 

jake bends over to pull off his pants and boxers in one go– his cock springing free and hitting his stomach. it’s so much bigger in person than in the pictures and videos he had sent you. 

you wonder if it would even fit inside of you. if the teasing jake had said about it being too big for you was real instead. 

“are you sure you wanna do this, y/n?” jake’s voice brings you out of your thoughts. his head is tilted to the side as he looks down at you. 

you bite your lip as you nod your head, “i do, i want this. it’s just…” you trail off, not being able to form the words while he’s so concentrated on you. 

jake kneels onto the bed right beside you, your legs touching. “what is it, pretty girl?” jake’s hand brushes your hair behind your ear. 

you sigh, “it’s just, it’s been awhile since… i’ve had sex.” jake smirks instantly at your confession. you groan at his expression and cover your face, “stop!” 

jake laughs as he pulls your hands away, wanting to see the blush on your cheeks, “it’s okay! i’m not making fun of you!” he moves so he’s over top of your laying body. “you’re so cute.” he leans down so your lips meet. it’s a soft kiss, like neither of you are naked and needy right now. 

he pulls away and rests his forehead on your own, looking into your eyes, “do you trust me y/n?”

his chocolate eyes are so pretty and warm like his body on yours that you don’t hesitate to nod, “yeah, i do.” 

“then let me make you feel good, you know i wouldn’t hurt you.” 

you nod again, your lips touching his again, letting him know that this is what you want. 

jake brings his hand up to your mouth, “spit.” 

you do as he says, letting a pool of your spit collect in his hand from your lips. he brings it to his cock, wetting it by mixing your spit with his precum. 

you lay on your back again as jake moves closer to you, spreading your legs. the air on your exposed, wet pussy makes you shiver. he holds onto your legs as he spits down onto your pussy, making you moan out as his actions degrade you. 

while he keeps one hand on your thigh, the other one holds his cock, guiding it to your pussy. he slowly, teasingly, drags his cock up and down your slit, wetting his cock more. you let out a hiss when he glides over your clit. 

“tell me how much you want my cock,” jake tells you, his eyes switching from your cunt to your face. 

“i want it so bad, sir! i’ve thought about having you inside of me so many times, i need it!” you admit, his cock being so close to your hole making you more desperate than ever. 

“rub your clit for me, baby.” 

you snake your hand in between your legs, starting to rub slow circles onto your already sensitive clit. 

you feel the tip of jake’s cock start to enter your hole. you can already tell that it’s gonna be a tight fit. you try to focus on the pleasure aspect instead. 

“oh my god,” jake groans out, his own eyes rolling to the back of his head as he eases inside of you. “fuck you’re so tight, baby. feels like heaven.” you can only nod in response, your voice gone as he fills you up completely. 

once he’s fully inside, his stills, letting you both adjust to the feeling. he leans down over you, his mouth pressing kisses into your neck. your hand moves slow circles on your clit, distracting you from the feeling of your walls adjusting around him. 

“i told you i’d stretch you out good.” jake chuckles into your ear. 

“shut up,” you say breathlessly, “just fuck me.” 

jake’s lips meet yours before, “as you wish.” 

jake sits up, his cock still lodged inside of you. he slowly moves his hips back, pulling his cock out until only his large tip is inside of you. he picks up one of your legs, holding it to keep your legs spread and pussy exposed to him. 

jake gradually sets a pace, sliding in and out of you with the help of your saliva’s mixing with your juices. he makes sure to hit your sensitive spots every time he slides back inside of you. when you start being unable to keep your moans quiet, he reaches down and encircles your neck with his hand and squeezes. 

“i knew you like being choked,” jake nods down at you, “you know how?”

“how?” you asked him, remembering his texts to you about how he would fuck you, how he would choke you and make you cum. 

“because i know you like being treated like a whore.” 

jake continues to thrust in and out of you as his hand leaves your neck and instead cups your jaw, his thumb pushing past your lips to enter your mouth. you don’t hesitate to suck on his thumb, using it to cover your moans from how well he’s fucking into you. 

you keep both of your hands on your nipples as you look up at him. his bangs are pushed out of his forehead, and his eyebrows are pulled together as he concentrates on making both of you feel good. 

your tongue swirls around his thumb before sucking on it, a moan leaves his lips at the feeling of your mouth around his digit. 

“god i wish i could feel your mouth around my cock, i know you’d make me cum so fast.”

he pops his thumb out of your mouth and puts his hand on the mattress, holding himself up. 

“i’d suck you until you couldn’t take it anymore,” you tell him honestly, his pace picking up at your admission.

“fuck baby, you’re so dirty it turns me on so much.” jake groans out, his hips moving faster now that he’s holding himself up with both of his hands. his head leans down so we can watch where both of your bodies are meeting. your pussy spread open just for him. the mess between your legs glistening in the faint light in your room. god, he’s wanted this for so long. wanted to feel what your walls would feel like around him. 

jake wants more, he wants to do everything he’s ever thought of with you, and he knows that tonight may be the first and last time he ever gets you, “ get up and turn around, baby.” jake tells you, the thought of your ass makes his cock twitch. 

you roll over, propping yourself up on your elbows and knees, your entire lower half being visible to him. jake’s hands land on your ass, making you cry out in pain and pleasure. 

“holy shit, this looks so good,” jake groans out at the sight, “who’s pussy is this?” he spanks your ass again, the skin starting to turn red now. 

“i-it’s yours sir, only yours.” you tell him, looking at him over your shoulder. his whole demeanor was dominant and masculine as he grips his cock and slides it back into you. the stretch this time less painful than before, your walls practically suck him in. 

jake starts to thrust in and out of you. his balls slapping against your clit every time he shoves himself back inside of you. his alternates slapping your ass and gripping your waist so he can pull himself harder into you. you have to grip onto your sheets to not move up the bed from how hard he is fucking you. 

“god i love your pussy, fucking made for me, stretched out just for me to fit in perfectly.” jake grunts out to you. 

“fuck!” you cry out into your sheets, “i love your cock, sir, please keep fucking me.” 

jake places his hand on your back, holding your body down against the mattress as he fucks into you. your bedroom is filled with so many wet noises, skin slapping, and both of yours and jake’s moans. 

jake grabs both of your hands, putting them so they are on your ass, “hold your pussy open for me while i fuck you.” jake demands you. your fingers curl over the slope of your ass, pulling the skin so your pussy is more exposed for him to see how much he is filling you up. “that’s it, that’s a good girl just like that.” 

jake’s hands grip your waist, using it as a leverage for him to start fucking into you. he finds your sensitive spot better with this angle, making you cry out his name, want him to keep going and never stop. your fingers tighten on your skin, the pleasure making you need to have a hold of something as he fucks you. 

jake pulls out of you, his hands staying on your waist as he leans down and spits right onto your pussy. the action makes you cry out, makes you feel so dirty that it turns you on even more. 

your hands leave your ass as jake slides back into you again, his cock so hard and wet and heavy inside of you. your one hand goes underneath you and starts to rub your clit back and forth as jake continues as his hard and fast pace.

“fuck that’s a good girl,” his accent strong as he watches you rub your clit. 

“i’m gonna cum, sir!” you cry out, looking up at him from your head on your mattress. 

“that’s right, fucking give it to me like a good girl, cum all over my cock.” he nods back at you, his thrusts getting harder as he fucks right into your g spot. 

it only takes a few more thrusts for you to come undone on his cock, loud moans leaving your agape mouth. your eyes close as the pleasure washes through you. 

jake stills inside of you as he feels your walls compulse over his cock, his own moans increasing as he feels you cream all over his cock. he pulls him closer to his own orgasm. 

when the initial pleasure of your orgasm subsides, jake pulls out of you again, gently turning you over onto your back again. he starts to kiss all over your face and neck, wanting you to not drift off into subspace.

when your mind feels less hazy, you cup his jaw with your hand, bringing his lips to yours. you make out sloppily for a minute as your body recharges from the sensitivity of two orgasms. 

“want you to cum, sir.” you tell him, your voice quiet as you look into his eyes. 

jake doesn’t say anything as he kisses you again before he leans up. he grips his cock as he pushes inside your used pussy. a loud moan leaves his mouth once he’s back inside of you. 

“fuck you’re so creamy, baby. makes me feel so good.” he nods down at you, his cock starting to thrust in and out of you again. 

“just for you sir, only you.” you mumble to him, your hands gripping his upper arms that cage your body. your nails dig into his skin as he fucks you, getting himself off with your walls wrapped around him. 

“that’s right baby, only sir can fuck you this good, can stretch you out so fucking well.” his thrusts start to get sloppy as he continues to moan out to you, his thumb starts to flick your clit back and forth. “where do you want sir to cum, baby?”

your back arches at his touch on your clit, “on my face, sir. want you to make a mess all over me. make me a dirty girl.” 

“oh fuck,” jake grunts out, “you’re such a slut, such a fucking slut just for me.” jake could feel your walls start to tighten around him again, “you gonna cum again, baby?” 

you nod to him, your head moving against the mattress, messing up your hair even more. your body was sweating all over, his thumb on your clit drove you insane as he cock filled you up like never before. “yes sir, g-gonna cum.” 

this orgasm, your third one, was a lot softer than the first two. you made no noise as you came, the pleasure taking over your body so strongly. 

“fuck, that’s it, that’s it.” jake encouraged you, your walls suctioning around his cock, squeezing and creaming all over it. 

before you could even come down from your high, jake was pulling out of you. his hand jerking his cock at a fast pace as worked himself to an orgasm. 

“let me see your face,” jake demanded. you scrambled to your knees, lowering your face so his hard, red cock was over your face. “look at me.”

your eyes locked with his as you opened your mouth, wanting to catch some of his cum as he finally came. his grunts loud and mixed with curses and your name. his warm cum spurted and landed all over your face and tongue. 

“oh my god,” jake groans, watching his cum paint your face. he felt like he could cum again just from the sight. “fuck you’re such a good girl for me.” 

jake taps his sensitive cock on your tongue, letting your mouth enclose around it. you gently start to circle your tongue around the tip, wanting to clean up some of the mess he made. you could tell he was so sensitive, the way a long hiss left his mouth as he watched you. 

you popped his cock out of your once there was no more left over cum on his cock or in your mouth. jake leans down and kisses you, brushing your sweaty hair out of your face. “i’ll be right back, y/n.” 

you lay back on your bed as jake leaves to go to the bathroom. after a minute he comes back, a wet cloth in his hand. “let me clean you.” 

he starts with your face and neck, smearing off all his cum before it dries all over you. the sight of it makes his used cock twitch. then he trails the cloth down your body, teasing you almost before he spreads your legs. he gently wipes all the wetness in between your legs before he presses a kiss into your stomach and closes your legs again. he turns and leaves your bedroom. 

your eyes start to droop closed, tired from the activity that just occurred. 

you feel jake lay beside you, completely naked like you as he covers both of your bodies in your blanket. you feel his warmth beside you, and see how his bare chest moves up and down with each one of his breaths. 

jake’s the first one to break the silence. 

“i swear you’ll be the death of me.” 

you turn to look at his face, slightly sweaty with a red hue on his cheeks, “what do you mean?” 

“you’re just so hot, and sexy and cute. i never cum as hard as i do with you.” 

you bite your lip as you look at him, “you make me feel really good, jake. i’ve never came three times before.” both of you laugh, the feeling of your sore pussy leaves for a second as you hear his melodious giggle. 

jake’s eyes met yours and they turned serious, you heard him swallow harshly before speaking, “look, y/n,” his voice is soft but steady, “do you think we could do this again? i mean, i’d really like it if it could.” 

his question hung in the air, heavy with unspoken emotions. you thought about if it would be a good idea. thoughts of sunghoon and your friendship with him crossed your mind. but jake’s warm hand grazing across the thigh and the ache in your body reminded you that jake makes you feel good. “i want to, jake. but…” your voice trails off. 

“but what?” 

“but what about sunghoon?”

jake nodded against your pillow, “i get it. he’s our best friend, and i don’t want to hurt him or our friendship.” 

you sigh, your hand wrapping around jake’s bare torso, feeling unsure of when you would ever get to feel him again. “i know, it’s complicated. but i don’t want to give this up, jake. i want to see you again, wanna feel you again.”

jake leaned closer to you, pressing a kiss on your forehead. “we’ll be careful then. don’t worry about it, he won’t find out.”

you nodded against his chest, “okay, we’ll keep this between us for now– whatever this is.” 

you could feel jake smile on the top of your head. his arms wrapping around you and pulling your body against his. you hold each other close as sleep pulls you in. both of you tired and needy for each other. 

sunghoon crosses your mind for a second before you fall asleep. 

meanwhile, jake takes in the scent of your shampoo and laundry detergent, thinking about how lucky he is to have finally gotten you in some way. he’d like to call you his girlfriend one day– but he’ll take what he can get. and if sex and sneaking around behind sunghoon’s back is all you can give him, then he wouldn’t complain, as long as he gets to hold you close like this.

the morning light stream softly through your curtains. you stir in your bed from the sun hitting your eyes. you feel something warm wrapped around your waist and your eyes flutter open to see a tan arm tucked in. you suddenly remember your actions with jake from the night before. and how he is still currently in your bed. 

your eyes follow his arm to where his face was pressed against your pillow beside you. he is still relaxed in sleep, his dark hair tousled and a gentle smile playing on his lips. jake has always been very attractive, but right now he looks so handsome that it makes your stomach feel weird. 

from your subtle movements, jake’s eyes flutter open, meeting yours with a sleep affectionate gaze. "good morning," he murmurs, his voice husky from sleep. you hum back to him in response, your own smile on your face. 

but reality soon intruded on the serene moment. your heart skips a beat as you remember sunghoon. he must be home by now, and he would be awake any minute. panic flares in your chest, and you sit up abruptly, pulling the covers off yourself. "jake, we need to go," you whisper urgently, your eyes wide with alarm. "sunghoon can't know you stayed over."

jake's eyes widens with understanding, and he quickly moves to get dressed. you both scramble around the room, trying to be as quiet as possible. you glance at the clock, your heart racing. you have to be quick to avoid waking up sunghoon.

once you are both dressed, you tiptoe to the front door of the apartment. you open it slowly, making sure it doesn't creak. jake gives you a quick, reassuring kiss before slipping out. you watch him go, your heart heavy with a mix of longing and anxiety. you feel confused towards your feelings with jake. as soon as jake disappears around the corner, you close the door quietly, hoping you haven't made too much noise.

just as you are turning to head back to your room, you hear a voice behind you. "what are you doing?" sunghoon asks, emerging from his room and stretching. your heart skips a beat, but you quickly compose yourself, turning to face him with a casual smile.

"just...getting some water," you lie, trying to sound nonchalant. "i'm going back to bed now."

ou force a chuckle, feeling the awkwardness settle in your chest. "that sounds great. i'll see you later," you say, your voice slightly strained. you make your way back to your bedroom, closing the door behind you and leaning against it with a sigh of relief from avoiding sunghoon. but now, you need to think about what it is that you want with jake. 

a relationship that may or may not ruin your friendships with sunghoon? or a secret friends-with-benefits thing that seemingly would keep everyone happy? 

you sigh and know that it has to be the latter– despite the feelings in your heart that tell you you want more than just friends with jake.

a few weeks into your mutual-friends-with-benefits relationship with jake, your living room buzzes with laughter and chatter as you and sunghoon's friends gather for your a movie night. you and jake sit on opposite ends of the room, doing your best to act like just friends. it’s a delicate balance, hiding your feelings amidst the group. jake’s eyes occasionally flick over to you, a silent longing in his gaze that he tries to mask with casual conversation and laughter. you hope no one picks up on his staring. 

halfway through the movie, you feel your phone vibrate in your pocket. you discreetly pull it out and glance at the screen.

jake:[you look so good right now][8:57]

you bite your lip to suppress a smile. you look over at jake, who is watching you with a mischievous glint in his eyes. from across the room, you mouth, "stop." to him. 

jake:[please i need you so bad][8:58]

jake:[want my cock in your mouth][8:58]

you sigh, feeling your stomach start to flutter and know that you’re giving into him again.  you stand up, feigning a wince. "hey guys, i'm not feeling too well," you announce to the group, your voice wavering just enough to be convincing. "i think i'm going to head to my room and lie down for a bit."

concerned voices rise in a chorus, but you assure everyone you are fine and just need some rest. as you leave the room, you can feel jake's eyes on you, a promise that he will follow. you make your way to your bedroom, closing the door behind you, sitting on your bed and waiting for jake. 

the minutes feel like hours as you wait, the muffled sounds of the movie and your friends' laughter barely reaching you through the walls. eventually, you hear the sound of the movie ending and the goodbyes being exchanged. your heart races in anticipation to see him, to feel him.

finally, the apartment door clicks shut, signaling the departure of the last guest. moments later, your bedroom door creaks open, and jake slips inside, closing it softly behind him. the tension in the room shifts immediately, replaced by a charged, intimate atmosphere. jake crosses the room in a few quick strides, pulling you into his arms.

“hoon thinks i left,” he whispers, his breath warm against your ear. you laugh, burying your face in his shoulder. 

“i can’t stand seeing you and not being able to touch you.” you confess to him, your heart palpitating. 

“i know,” jake replies, pulling away to look at you, “i feel the same.” jake’s hand traces your jaw. 

you can’t look at him when you speak again, “i miss you when you aren’t with me. i think, i like you a lot more than just friends jake. a lot more than just hiding and, doing what we are doing.” 

jake feels like he could faint when the words leave your mouth. he’s had serious feelings for you since sunghoon had introduced him to you. it’s been so hard for him since he always thought you would never look at him more than just sunghoon’s other friend. but here you are, confessing your feelings to him first. 

jake doesn’t answer at first, he only pulls you closer to him, leaning down to kiss your now oh so familiar lips. you don’t reject his kiss, only allow yourself to relax into him. 

“i’ve liked you for so long, y/n. you have no idea.” 

“r-really?” 

“yes, since the day i met you.” 

you press your lips to his again, happiness filling both of you as you are hidden away in your room, away from the rest of the world and sunghoon. 

“now can you please suck me off? i’ve been hard since you walked out in those little shorts.”

you don’t hesitate to drop to your knees for him.

the next week, you and jake find yourselves feverishly making out on your couch. sunghoon has gone to the gym, giving you and jake a precious window of time to be together.

as soon as jake’s hands start to travel underneath your shirt, he front door opens unexpectedly. sunghoon steps in, gym bag slung over his shoulder, his eyes widening at the sight before him.

you and jake jump apart, your faces flushing with a mix of embarrassment and fear. you know you have been caught. sunghoon has seen the kiss, and there is no way to hide it now. "sunghoon, we can explain," jake begins, his voice filled with anxiety after a moment of silence between the three of you. all of you taking in what is happening. 

sunghoon sighs deeply, dropping his gym bag on the floor and sitting down in the chair across from you. "i know you guys have been seeing each other," he says, his tone surprisingly calm. a rush of guilt and anxiety washes over you and jake. you exchange worried glances, both certain that your friendship with sunghoon is over. 

"we're sorry," you say, your voice trembling. "we know you wouldn't want us together, and we didn't mean to betray you."

jake nods in agreement. "we just didn't want to hurt you or our friendship."

sunghoon shakes his head, a small, sad smile on his lips. "i'm not upset that you guys are together." you and jake look at each other in surprise.

"you're not?" you ask in unison, disbelief evident in your voices.

"no," sunghoon replies, his eyes meeting yours. "i'm upset that you guys didn't tell me. that you were sneaking around our apartment together and not letting me know."

you feel a pang of guilt. "how long have you known?" you ask, your voice barely above a whisper.

sunghoon sighs again, leaning back in his chair. "since i came back from that party when you were 'resting.' i heard you guys in your room."

you and jake feel a deeper sense of remorse. sunghoon has known from the beginning, and you underestimated him. "we felt like we couldn't tell you because we didn't want you to be caught in the middle if things went bad between us," jake explains, his voice filled with regret.

sunghoon shakes his head, a look of understanding in his eyes. "i don't care about that. i just care that both of my best friends are happy."

you stand up and move toward sunghoon, pulling him into a heartfelt hug. jake joins you, and for a moment, the three of you stand there, wrapped in an embrace that feels like a renewal of your friendship. you feel like the three of you can start fresh, but differently. differently in a good way. 

"we promise to tell each other everything from now on," you say, your voice thick with emotion.

"and no more sneaking around the apartment," jake adds with a chuckle, his relief evident.

sunghoon smiles, the tension lifting from his shoulders. "deal," he says, squeezing you both tightly. “but could you guys give me a warning before you guys have sex from now on, i’m so tired of putting earplugs in at 3am.” 

you cover your face in embarrassment, not being able to look at either of them as they burst out laughing together. 

maybe the mistaken text was a bad mistake after all if you have to deal with them making fun of your moans any longer.

@ taeghi, 2024. do not repost or reuse in anyway.

PLEASE REBLOG IF YOU ENJOY, AS LIKES MAKE IT HARD FOR WORK TO BE SPREAD AND ENJOYED BY OTHERS :)

stay safe everyone :)

‼️announcement‼️

i do not use ai or condone the use of ai for writing, actual writers are getting targeted because of this, meanwhile the ones who shamelessly use it get respect for writing well. make it make sense.

FULFILLED.ᐟ

pairing ᝰ.ᐟ sim jaeyun x reader

genre ᝰ.ᐟ smut

warnings ᝰ.ᐟ fingering, pussy eating, unprotected sex, tit play, daddy kink, etc.

natty’s notes ᝰ.ᐟ mdni, hate comments will be deleted.

you had always kept to yourself, preferring solitude over pointless small talk and meaningless interactions. socializing never appealed to you—why waste energy caring about people’s lives when they were just as irrelevant as the next? you were content in your own world, detached from the gossip, the hierarchy, the petty dramas that surrounded you.

but if there was one person who could pull you out of your quiet indifference, who could bring out the worst in you, who could make your blood boil with nothing but pure, unfiltered rage—it was sim jaeyun.

the golden boy. the poster child of perfection. the captain of the soccer team and the walking, breathing ego that came with it. jaeyun was obnoxiously charming, devastatingly good-looking, and painfully aware of it. you hated to admit it, but he was infuriatingly hot—the kind of attractive that made it even worse when he opened his mouth and let that cocky, self-assured, utterly insufferable personality spill out.

and yet, no matter how much you tried to ignore him, he was always there—always in your space, always testing your patience, always pushing you toward the edge of absolute hatred.

like right now.

the distant shrill of a whistle cut through the air, a cruel reminder that karma had decided to be your enemy today. all you wanted was a moment of peace to focus on your studies, yet the universe had other plans.

your fingers gripped the edge of your notebook, trying to block out the noise, but curiosity—or perhaps masochism—had your eyes drifting from the pages to the field below.

and there he was.

jaeyun stood in the middle of the field, black compression shirt clinging to his body like a second skin, accentuating every toned muscle, every sharp dip and curve of his figure. his sleeves stretched tight around his biceps, flexing every time he moved, and his broad shoulders carried the kind of natural confidence that made it impossible not to look.

his hands—god, his hands—looked buffer than ever, fingers flexing as he wiped the sweat from his brow. damp strands of hair clung to his forehead, framing his face in a way that was unfairly attractive, his jaw clenched in focus, lips parted as he caught his breath.

and just like that—you hated him even more.

you hated how good he looked. hated how someone so cocky, insufferable, and utterly arrogant managed to crawl his way under your skin with nothing but a smirk and a well-timed stretch. hated how, despite everything, your body reacted to him in ways that made you sick with frustration.

because no matter how much you despised sim jaeyun, there were nights where you couldn’t help yourself.

nights where the memory of his voice—low, smooth, teasing, always dripping with mockery—played in your mind like a broken record. nights where your fingers gripped the sheets, your body aching, your mind clouded with filthy, shameful fantasies about how he’d be in bed.

rough. harsh. demanding.

a man like him wouldn’t settle for anything less than full control, wouldn’t be soft or hesitant, wouldn’t let you get away with your usual bratty attitude. his cock—of course it’d be big, thick and veined, the kind that made your thighs clench just thinking about it. and he’d know exactly how to use it, how to ruin you, how to make you choke on his name the same way he always made you choke on your words when you argued.

there had been too many nights where you’d touched yourself too much, too desperately, too often, chasing a high you could only ever reach by thinking about him. remembering the way he spoke to you, taunted you, tested you. he never even had to do anything overtly sexual—just the sound of his voice, the way he said your name with that condescending smirk, was enough to make your stomach twist with something you refused to name.

maybe it wasn’t hate. maybe it wasn’t even anger. honestly, you didn’t know what the fuck it was.

but you knew you were fucked.

and he knew it too.

because the moment your gaze lingered for too long, the moment you let your eyes betray you, his head snapped up, locking onto yours with deadly precision. his lips curled into a smug, knowing smirk, one that told you he could read your thoughts, see the way your thighs subtly pressed together, feel the heat burning under your skin.

and then he did something unforgivable.

his hands dropped to the hem of his compression shirt, fingers teasing the fabric, dragging it up slowly—too slowly—revealing the toned ridges of his abs, the sharp v-line disappearing beneath his shorts. his skin glistened with sweat, muscles flexing as he wiped a hand over his face, and that was it. that was your breaking point.

your thighs clenched before you could stop them, heat pooling between your legs at the intrusive, unholy thought of grinding against his abs.

but your face? your face remained impassive, indifferent, perfectly annoyed.

except he saw right through you.

his smirk widened, and then—because he was a menace, a fucking devil—he lifted two fingers, forming a V, and flicked his tongue between them, slow and deliberate.

your breath caught, a sharp gasp nearly escaping, but you swallowed it down, forcing yourself to glare.

because this was his favorite game.

he loved to push you, tease you, provoke you, just to see how far he could take it before you snapped. and you? you hated that it worked.

hated that your body betrayed you every time.

hated that instead of looking away in disgust, your mind ran wild with images of that tongue on you, between your legs, ruining you in ways your own fingers never could.

because the truth was—as much as you hated his teasing, hated his smug expressions, hated the way he knew exactly how to get under your skin…

you hated even more that it turned you on.

you couldn’t take it anymore.

the heat pooling in your stomach, the unbearable ache between your legs, the way jaeyun had looked at you like he knew everything you were thinking—it was too much. you needed to get away, needed space, needed somewhere secluded where he wouldn’t find you, wouldn’t push you further, wouldn’t see just how much he was affecting you.

gathering your belongings in a flustered haze, you left the bleachers, forcing yourself to walk, not run, as if that would somehow keep him from noticing your sudden, desperate retreat. the moment you stepped inside the girls’ bathroom, the tension in your shoulders loosened, the silence finally giving you a moment to breathe. it wasn’t ideal, but it was private, safe, far away from him.

or at least, it should have been.

but even as you reopened your notebook, pretending to refocus, your mind was already wandering. drifting back to the way jaeyun had looked standing on that field, his sweat-slicked skin glistening under the sun, his shirt riding up just enough to drive you insane.

you exhaled sharply, pressing your thighs together, feeling the uncomfortable stickiness between them. you couldn’t take it anymore. and though it was a reckless, dangerous thing to do here—on school grounds, in a public bathroom where anyone could walk in—you didn’t care.

your fingers trembled slightly as you set your books aside, reaching down to drag your skirt up, revealing the dampened fabric of your panties—soaked, ruined, completely exposing how badly he had affected you. the cool air against your heated skin made you shiver, but it was nothing compared to the fire burning in your core.

hesitation didn’t exist.

your fingers traced over the damp fabric, pressing down on your clit through your panties, delivering soft, teasing strokes that made your body twitch, thighs clenching involuntarily. your bottom lip was pulled between your teeth, suppressing the moan that threatened to spill out as you circled your fingers again, testing the sensitivity, reveling in the fact that it was all because of him.

never in your life did you think you’d be getting off at school, but you had one person to blame.

and that same person was going to pay for it later.

your mind drifted, unraveling into dark, forbidden thoughts—starting first with his hands, the way they flexed when he wiped sweat off his face, the veins running along his knuckles, his fingers long and thick, so perfectly built for touching, gripping, fucking. you imagined those same fingers curving inside you, pressing deep, dragging along your walls, knowing exactly where to touch, how to break you apart with just his hands.

“fuck…” the word slipped past your lips, soft, breathy, needy. your fingers picked up their pace, rubbing tight circles over your clit, imagining him doing it instead.

then your mind wandered lower.

his thighs—thick, strong, built from years of training—the way they’d feel underneath you, how he’d let you grind down against them, flexing just to make you feel it harder. you could almost hear him in your head, that low, mocking voice filled with amusement as he teased, “is this all you can do, baby? i thought you hated me.”

your breath hitched, your fingers working faster, needier, the tension tightening in your stomach, winding tighter and tighter, threatening to snap at any second.

your mind spiraled deeper into the fantasy of him, completely lost in the intoxicating thought of jaeyun ruining you. his plump lips—the same ones that always curled into a cocky smirk, the ones that taunted you endlessly—now pressed against your body, leaving open-mouthed kisses along your skin, sucking harshly just to claim you. you could almost feel the bruises he’d leave behind, marking you up just to prove a point, just so everyone could see that you were his.

but then it was his tongue—your mind whirling at the filthy images of him trailing it over every inch of your body, slow and teasing, cruel in the way he’d drag it across your skin with no urgency, knowing you’d squirm under his touch. especially when he finally settled between your legs, hovering, smirking at how soaked you’d be for him.

he wouldn’t give in easily—no, jaeyun would make you beg, make you say his name the way he wanted before rewarding you. you could picture it too vividly, the way he’d flick his tongue over your clit in agonizingly small strokes, just enough to tease but never enough to satisfy, forcing you to writhe beneath him. you’d grip his hair, try to push him closer, but he’d only laugh, his voice thick with amusement as he murmured, “desperate, aren’t you?”

and the worst part? you would be.

but nothing—nothing—would compare to the thought of his cock.

his thick, veined length, the way he’d stretch you open, the way he’d find pleasure in watching you struggle to take him in. your mind twisted into filthier images, ones that made you ache with need, thinking about him forcing himself past your lips, groaning as he watched your mouth stretch around his size, watching you choke, struggle, drool as he shoved himself deeper.

he’d mock you for it, for your watery eyes, for the way you tried to take him so obediently despite the tears threatening to spill down your cheeks. “what’s wrong, baby?” he’d taunt, “too much for you?” but he wouldn’t let up. he’d hold you there, letting you suffer with your mouth full of him, finding twisted amusement in your helplessness.

“fuck, jaeyun—” the moan escaped before you even realized it, his name falling from your lips with ease, your fingers working faster, deeper, more desperate. the sound of wetness echoed off the bathroom walls, mixing with the heavy, uneven breaths slipping from your lips. but you were too far gone to care.

your mind whirled into new possibilities, wondering—which position would he love most?

doggy?

would he want you on all fours, back arched for him, ass perfectly presented as he pressed his cock deep into you, one hand fisting your hair while the other came down in harsh, stinging slaps on your skin?

the image alone had your body tensing, your core tightening, the thought of him commanding you, ruining you, owning you tipping you dangerously close to the edge.

“shit—!”

your body jerked, pleasure crashing into you, breaking you apart as your orgasm ripped through you, leaving your thighs shaking, your breathing heavy and uneven.

your fingers slowed, the aftershocks pulsing through your body as the last waves of pleasure settled deep in your core.

but as the high faded, as the reality of what just happened sank in, only one thing lingered in your mind.

you needed to get back at him for this.

as the waves of pleasure slowly faded, leaving behind a lingering buzz of sensitivity, you fumbled for the toilet paper, wiping the slick from your fingers with shaky hands. your breathing was still uneven, erratic, the aftershocks of your orgasm pulsing faintly through your body as you reached for your phone. the screen lit up, the time glaring back at you—past 4.

you needed to get out of here. now.

with slightly trembling fingers, you tugged your sticky panties back into place, the damp fabric clinging uncomfortably against your sensitive core, a stark reminder of what you had just done. pressing down your skirt with forced nonchalance, you exhaled slowly, trying to steady yourself, trying to act as if nothing had happened.

your bag swung over your shoulder, your belongings clutched tightly in your hands as you pushed open the stall door—only to freeze.

your breath caught in your throat.

what the actual fuck.

there he was.

jaeyun.

leaning casually against the sinks, his arms crossed over his chest, his head tilted downward in what looked like bored amusement.

but then—he lifted his gaze.

his smug, infuriating, cocky gaze.

the second he heard the stall door open, his head snapped up, lips curling into a slow, devastating smirk.

his eyes—dark, knowing, utterly unreadable—swept over you in a way that made heat prickle down your spine, that made your heart slam against your ribs.

and in that moment, you knew.

he had been here the entire time.

your entire body locked up, every muscle in your frame going rigid as a sudden, burning heat crept up your neck, flooding your cheeks, settling deep in your stomach. the air in the bathroom felt thick, suffocating, the weight of jaeyun’s gaze alone pinning you in place, rendering you completely, utterly speechless.

your mind scrambled, trying—desperately, frantically—to piece together some kind of snarky response, something sharp and biting, something that would make it seem like you weren’t caught red-handed. but the words never came, vanishing before they could even form, leaving you stranded in the unforgiving silence that stretched between you.

his presence felt all-consuming, taking up every ounce of space, every breath of air, every single thought in your head. and you knew. you fucking knew there was no talking your way out of this.

because you had been caught.

completely. undeniably. irreversibly caught.

jaeyun let out a soft scoff, the sound laced with amusement, disbelief, as if he couldn’t believe what he had just witnessed—but was entirely enjoying it. he shifted, his posture straightening, his hands lowering to press against the sink counter, his grip firm, calculated, like he was settling in for a show.

but his eyes—sharp, teasing, deadly—never wavered from yours.

“had fun, baby?”

his voice was smooth, lazy, dripping with pure, unfiltered arrogance.

and it was deadly.

“i-i don’t know what you’re talking about..”

the words tumbled out, weak, unconvincing, betraying you before you could even attempt to sound believable. your voice stammered, breath still uneven, the aftermath of your orgasm clinging to you in ways you couldn’t hide. it was pathetic, really—grasping at the thin veil of denial, desperately gaslighting yourself into believing that maybe, just maybe, jaeyun had heard nothing.

he hadn’t walked in on you touching yourself to the thought of him.

he hadn’t heard the breathless, wrecked moan of his name spill from your lips as your fingers worked you to the edge.

and he sure as hell hadn’t been standing there, watching, listening, waiting, while you fell apart over him in the most shameless way possible.

right?

jaeyun pushed himself off the counter, his movements slow, deliberate, like he had all the time in the world to watch you crumble. his gaze dragged over your face, taking in the way your lips parted slightly, the way your eyes darted away, flustered, panicked, guilty.

he knew. he fucking knew.

his steps were unhurried as he made his way toward you, closing the space effortlessly, like a predator playing with its prey. his hands stayed tucked in his pockets, a move that would have seemed casual if not for the way he subtly angled his hips, discreetly camouflaging what you already knew was there.

“no?” he echoed, voice mocking, smooth, his head tilting slightly, lips curling into something dangerous.

he stopped just close enough, forcing you to look up at him, the space between you nonexistent, suffocating.

“are you sure about that?”

his voice dropped lower, his tone dipping into something dark, knowing, completely unforgiving.

you were fucked.

“i have t-to go…”

your voice barely held steady, coming out in a breathless, shaky whisper, but you forced yourself to move anyway, clutching your bag like it was some kind of lifeline. your body screamed for an escape, your mind racing for any possible way out of this mess, but the second you tried to squeeze past him, it was over.

jaeyun’s hand shot out, gripping your wrist, spinning you effortlessly before your back collided with the cold, unforgiving wall. the force made you gasp, your bag slipping from your fingers, its contents spilling onto the tiled floor, but you barely noticed—not when he was this close.

your breath hitched, sharp and uneven, your chest rising and falling too fast as he closed the distance, his body just inches from yours, pressing into you without actually touching. but the heat radiating off him, the sheer intensity of his presence made it feel like he was everywhere.

his breath—hot, teasing, deliberate—cascaded over your ear, sending a shiver straight down your spine.

“why don’t i make it happen?”

his voice was low, dark, dripping with suggestion, and before you could even process his words, his tongue flicked out—a teasing, feather-light lick against the shell of your ear. your body jolted in response, heat coiling low in your stomach, a betrayal to your own desperation to resist him.

his hands slid down, coming to rest on your waist, fingers firm, possessive, gripping you like he was testing just how badly you wanted to run.

except you didn’t.

you couldn’t.

you never thought—not even in your wildest, filthiest fantasies—that this would actually happen.

you had dreamed of this—had spent too many shameful nights lost in the thought of him, picturing his hands gripping you just like this, his lips ghosting over your skin, his voice laced with the same dark amusement he carried now.

but you never thought it would go this far.

you never thought he’d know.

“i heard it all, y/n. don’t lie to me.”

the words sent a shockwave through you, making your stomach drop, your body locking up instantly.

he was so close now, so unbearably close, his breath ghosting over your cheek, his voice low, smooth, completely in control.

your wide, stunned eyes met his—dark, full of lust, unreadable in the worst way. your lips parted, chest rising and falling in sharp, shallow breaths, every ounce of air in the room suddenly gone.

the tension was suffocating. electric. devastating.

you weren’t even sure which one of you was breathing harder.

but you knew one thing—you couldn’t take it any longer.

your hands shot up, sliding over the firm lines of his neck, your fingers gripping him desperately as your lips crashed into his.

he didn’t hesitate.

his mouth moved against yours just as urgently, his grip on your waist tightening, grounding you, pulling you flush against him.

the kiss was messy, rushed, uncontrolled, tongues colliding, fighting for dominance, a battle neither of you were willing to lose.

jaeyun tilted his head, deepening the kiss, pressing into you with more force, more hunger, his fingers digging into your hips, like he was staking his claim.

his lips broke away from yours, leaving your mouth swollen, tingling, but before you could even whimper in protest, he was already moving—trailing hot, open-mouthed kisses down the column of your neck.

his tongue flicked out, dragging over your pulse, his lips following with a sharp, lingering suck before his teeth sank into your skin, biting down just enough to make you shiver.

“fuck, jaeyun—”

his name slipped from your lips in a breathless moan, your fingers burying themselves into his damp hair, tugging him closer, harder, as if you could make him devour you faster.

his hands slid under your shirt, rough and impatient, fingertips pressing into your ribs before curling around the fabric.

and then—he ripped it off.

the shirt was discarded somewhere, anywhere, his breath hitching as his hands immediately found your tits, cupping them in his palms, squeezing just enough to make you arch into him.

his thumbs rolled over your nipples, watching in dark fascination as they pebbled under his touch, slick from the heat between your bodies.

“fuck—” he groaned, his thumbs brushing, teasing, rubbing, eyes fixated on the way your tits bounced every time he played with them.

he had thought about this too many times, too many nights spent fisting his cock to the idea of it, imagining your tits wrapped around him, squeezing him, his cock sliding between them while your mouth was open, tongue flicking out to catch his tip.

and now, you were here—real, warm, desperate beneath him.

his hands moved behind you, unclasping your bra in one swift motion, tossing it aside without a second thought.

his gaze devoured you, drinking in the sight of your bare skin, your chest rising and falling rapidly, your nipples hard and begging to be in his mouth.

and then—he dove in.

his lips wrapped around one of your nipples, tongue swirling, flicking over the sensitive bud before his teeth caught it, tugging just enough to make you gasp.

“so fucking pretty,” he muttered against your skin, his breath hot, damp, intoxicating.

he sucked hard, determined to leave bruises behind, claiming you in deep, dark marks that would take days to fade.

his mouth trailed higher, pressing kisses up your collarbone, along the curve of your throat, before descending again, this time onto your other tit.

“mm—fuck, jaeyun—” your head tilted back, eyes fluttering shut, your panties soaked, sticky, unbearable with how badly you needed more.

but he didn’t give in—not yet.

“jaeyun, please—” your voice broke, your fingers tightening in his hair, tugging hard, trying to ground yourself, trying to make him move faster, harder, give you more.

but he only smirked against your skin, his grip on your waist tightening as he murmured, smug and cruel—

“beg better, baby.”

he lowered himself slowly, sinking to his knees before you, his lips dragging over your stomach, leaving a trail of fire in their wake. his hands found the hem of your skirt, fingers gripping the fabric as he pushed it up, letting it bunch around your waist, exposing just how much you needed him.

his hands guided your trembling thighs over his shoulders, positioning you perfectly, his face so close, too close, his breath hot, teasing, fanning against your soaking, ruined panties. his eyes darkened at the sight—your slick glistening through the thin fabric, staining it completely, proof of how wrecked you already were for him.

“fuck—” jaeyun groaned, his fingers hooking into the waistband, yanking harshly, tearing them away in one swift movement. the ripped fabric was tossed somewhere, forgotten, and before you could even process the loss, his hands grabbed at your ass, grounding you, keeping you balanced as his mouth descended upon you.

his tongue darted out, licking one slow, deliberate stripe through your folds before thrusting inside you, his mouth sealing around your dripping heat as if he were starving.

“ah—!” the scream ripped from your throat, your thighs clamping down around his head, your fingers flying to his hair, gripping tight, pulling hard.

but jaeyun didn’t care—he wanted it.

he wanted you to hold him there, wanted you to lose control, wanted to feel your body breaking apart in his hands.

his tongue moved in long, devastating licks, his lips wrapping around your clit, sucking, flicking, devouring. he moaned into your heat, the vibrations shooting through you, making your body jolt, shudder, tremble.

“fuck—jaeyun, please! please—!”

your hips rocked against his mouth, chasing the friction, chasing relief, and he let you, let you use him, let you grind down on his face, his tongue fucking into you, licking you so deep, so perfectly, every flick of his tongue making the coil in your stomach tighten, tighten, tighten—

his hands squeezed your ass, pressing you even closer, his mouth slurping, messy, loud, and he groaned against you, the sound deep, guttural, pure sin.

“so fucking sweet, baby,” he rasped, his voice thick with desire, his lips wet, glistening, ruined with you.

“gonna eat this pussy till you cry for me.”

your head slammed back against the wall, the dull ache barely registering over the overwhelming pleasure flooding your senses. the way jaeyun’s tongue worked inside you was nothing short of sinful—precise, merciless, devastating. every flick, every deep stroke of his tongue sent you spiraling, your thighs trembling violently atop his shoulders, threatening to give out completely.

your pussy clenched around the relentless movements of his tongue, soaking him, ruining him, making him groan into you like he was addicted to your taste. you could hear it—the obscene, wet sounds of him devouring you, drinking you in, savoring every drop like you were the best thing he’d ever had.

“jaeyun, please—c-can i cum? please, can i—i?”

your pleas turned to whimpers, then to sobs, your voice breaking under the weight of your impending climax, under the unbearable need to let go. your fingers gripped at his hair, desperate, pulling, tugging, trying to ground yourself, trying not to fall apart too soon.

jaeyun only chuckled against your heat, the vibrations sending shockwaves through you, making you twitch, gasp, tremble even harder.

“aww, you wanna cum, baby?” his voice was mocking, condescending, yet dripping with pure filth, his hands digging into your thighs, pressing them harder around his head. “wanna make a mess on daddy’s face?”

the word—that fucking word—sent a shudder through you, a sharp, visceral reaction you couldn’t suppress.

your moan was loud, desperate, wrecked, your body jerking involuntarily, the filthy nickname feeding into every sinful fantasy you’d ever had.

“please, please, daddy—”

your voice cracked, high-pitched, teetering on the edge of ruin, your climax hanging by a thread, so dangerously close, so impossibly unbearable.

jaeyun groaned against you, tongue flicking faster, his hands spreading you open wider, his movements completely unrelenting.

“then cum, baby,” he murmured against your clit, voice dark, commanding, merciless. “make a fucking mess for me.”

the second the words left his lips, you broke.

your orgasm crashed into you with full force, a violent, breathtaking release that tore through every nerve in your body. a loud, uncontrollable scream ripped from your throat, your entire form convulsing, trembling, muscles tightening so hard that for a second, you felt like you might black out from the intensity.

jaeyun groaned, his grip on your ass tightening, fingers digging in as he held you in place, his mouth devouring every drop of your release.

“fuck, baby—”” he rasped, voice thick with pure, ravenous hunger, the vibrations against your clit sending aftershocks ripping through you, making your thighs spasm uncontrollably around his head.

but he wasn’t done.

his tongue licked long, deliberate strokes, lapping up every bit of your arousal, cleaning you up with slow, torturous drags, drinking you in like he never wanted to stop.

“oh fuck—” your moans came in shaky, gasping breaths, your chest heaving aggressively, body still shuddering in the aftermath.

and yet, he still didn’t let up.

his mouth was relentless, his tongue dipping back in, pressing another slow, suffocating lick through your folds, his lips wrapping around your clit just to feel you twitch again.

but before the overstimulation could truly wreck you, he finally lifted himself off you, his face slick with your release, his lips glistening, wet, ruined.

and yet, he didn’t wipe it away.

he licked his lips—slow, deliberate, greedy.

“so fucking good, baby.”

his voice was hoarse, rough, completely wrecked.

and his cock—fuck, his cock was aching.

his hunger for you was insatiable, he could spend hours between your thighs, ruining you over and over with his tongue alone, but the ache in his pants was now painful, throbbing, unbearable.

he wanted to feel you. all of you.

finally.

his hands moved with ease, picking you up effortlessly, his strength barely faltering as he carried you off his shoulders, setting you down onto the cool, porcelain sink.

his hands gripped your thighs, spreading them apart just enough to take in the mess he made of you.

his cock twitched in his shorts, straining painfully, the evidence of his arousal obvious in the thick wet patch covering the front of his sweats.

he didn’t waste another second.

with one hand, he dragged his shorts down, his boxers following, both pieces of clothing pooling at his ankles as he finally freed himself.

and fuck—your assumption had been right.

he was huge.

his cock stood heavy, thick, angry, his veins prominent, his slit already leaking precum, twitching with need as he gripped himself at the base, giving himself a few rough pumps.

“you’re doing so fucking good for me, baby,” his voice was pure sin, filled with dark satisfaction as he fisted himself, teasing his tip against your soaked, pulsating entrance. “such a good fucking girl.”

your body shuddered, still raw, overstimulated, desperate, but you wanted him more than anything.

“are you gonna take me well, baby?” he murmured, his voice taunting, teasing, his cock dragging along your folds, smearing his precum over your entrance. “gonna show daddy just how fucking desperate you are for his cock?”

your only response was a soft, wrecked whimper, your body too dazed, too lost in the haze of pleasure to form a coherent thought.

but jaeyun wasn’t feeling patient.

one hand slid up to your breast, squeezing it harshly, his fingers pinching your nipple as he finally pushed in.

the stretch was instant, breathtaking, overwhelming.

your walls clamped around him, your body struggling to take his sheer size, your head tilting back, mouth falling open in a silent scream as he pushed deeper, filling you inch by inch.

“oh fuck, baby—” his groan was deep, strained, broken, his grip on your breast tightening, fingers digging into your skin as he bottomed out completely.

his cock throbbed inside you, buried to the hilt, your tight walls gripping him so perfectly, so sinfully, so impossibly tight.

“shit—” he gritted out, his jaw clenching as he held still, letting you adjust, reveling in the way your body wrapped around him, sucked him in.

he had waited for this.

and now, he was going to ruin you.

his other hand moved to your neglected breast, fingers gripping, kneading, squeezing with just enough force to make your back arch deeper, a series of soft, low grunts escaping his lips as he drank in the sight of you.

“gonna fucking ruin you…” his voice was husky, dark, dripping with sin, his breath hot against your skin as he leaned in, his lips brushing against your ear before he snapped his hips forward.

“i’ll have you begging for more, baby.”

and then—he slammed into you.

his thrusts were merciless, brutal, unrelenting, each one hitting deeper, harder, sharper, the sheer force making your entire body jolt against the sink. your fingers desperately clawed at his back, nails digging into his skin, leaving burning, red trails that only made him groan louder.

“fuck—” your eyes rolled back, pleasure crashing over you as he found your sweet spot instantly, his cock pushing into you so deep, so perfectly, stretching you so good that your thighs trembled violently, your breath coming in shaky, uneven gasps.

and then—his hands left your tits.

only to come slamming down onto your skin.

hard.

the sharp sting of his palm meeting your flesh made your body jolt, your head tilting back as a loud, broken scream spilled from your lips.

“fuck, daddy!”

your cry echoed in the small space, your hands flying up, searching for something—anything—to hold onto as the pleasure overwhelmed you.

your fingers latched onto his broad back, nails raking down the sculpted muscles, leaving deep, red scratches that only fueled him further.

“fuuuck—” jaeyun groaned, voice thick, slurred, completely wrecked.

his head tilted back, his jaw clenched, his stomach flexing beautifully, sweat dripping down his abs as he pounded into you harder, the force of it rocking the sink beneath you.

“this pussy—taking me so fucking well—”

his words were half-spoken, half-moan, his voice drenched in pleasure, his hips never faltering, never slowing.

“you love this fucking dick, don’t you, baby?”

his hands gripped your thighs, spreading them even wider, pushing himself even deeper, watching as your body shuddered beneath him, completely ruined, completely his.

“fuck yes! yes!”

your scream echoed through the small space, bouncing off the bathroom walls as your body convulsed, every muscle tightening, your core clenching around him like a vice. each ruthless, punishing thrust sent you spiraling closer, the coil in your stomach winding tighter, tighter—

“gonna cum on my dick, baby?”

jaeyun’s voice was thick, strained, completely wrecked, his breath hot and uneven against your skin. his grip tightened around your legs, his fingers digging into your flesh as he lifted them higher, pushing them closer to the mirror behind you.

“oh—s-shit!”

your head snapped back, a scream ripping from your throat as his fingers descended, pressing against your swollen, overstimulated clit, flicking harsh, precise strokes over the bundle of nerves.

“wet my dick, baby,” he groaned, his voice hoarse, shaking, desperate.

his cock twitched violently, the feeling of your tight, spasming walls squeezing around him, sucking him in, milking him for everything he had sending him dangerously close to the edge.

you could barely breathe—barely think—your body thrashing, pleasure swallowing you whole as the dam finally, violently shattered.

“fuck, jaeyun—!”

your hands shot down, gripping your own thighs, holding them open, wide, vulnerable, and then—you snapped.

your orgasm crashed into you like a violent wave, knocking the air from your lungs as liquid pleasure gushed out of you, squirting harshly, uncontrollably against jaeyun’s lower stomach and soaking his cock.

“oh, fuck—yeah, baby—fuck!”

his moan was loud, shameless, raw, his rhythm stuttering, his hips snapping forward in a series of fast, erratic thrusts.

his cock throbbed aggressively, the feeling of your release covering him, dripping down his abs, your walls still fluttering around him sending him spiraling right after you.

“fuuuck—” he gasped, his voice wrecked, trembling as his head fell forward, his grip on your thighs turning bruising.

and then—he came.

thick, hot ropes of cum spurted deep inside you, coating your walls, filling you completely, stuffing you full, each pulse flooding you even more.

his hips jerked in tiny, shallow thrusts, riding out the last waves of his climax, his chest heaving, his body shuddering, both of you a mess of tangled limbs, hot skin, and ruined breaths.

but when he finally pulled out, a soft whimper of protest left your lips, your walls clenching around nothing, already missing the stretch of him inside you.

his low, satisfied groan sent another shiver down your spine as he watched, completely enthralled, entirely mesmerized, as his cum spilled out of you, thick and messy, dripping down your thighs.

“fuck, baby—look at that.”

his fingers traced over your wrecked entrance, pushing some of the cum back inside, watching it slowly ooze out again, a dark smirk curling on his lips.

you were completely spent, body trembling, breath still unsteady, but in the back of your mind, one thing became clear.

maybe—just maybe—your hate for him had never been real to begin with.

maybe it had always been masked by something deeper, something filthier, something much, much worse.

and now?

it had been completely, irrevocably fulfilled.

natty’s notes ᝰ.ᐟ i hope you all liked it !!

the Heeseung fic ‘you broke me first’ got me on my knees like….😮‍💨🫠😩🤗🫣🤩😌🥹🙇🏽‍♀️🧎🏽‍♀️

Hoping to have more Hee fics from youuuuuuuuu🙏🏼🫶🏼 (but ofc the rest of en- members too)🤩

THANK YOU OMG it was my first time writing in a long time im so glad you enjoyed it ◡̈ <3

1.8k NOTES WHAT OMG 😖🫶🏼

you broke me first - l.hs

pairing: virgin!lee heeseung x experienced fem!reader

synopsis: you and heeseung are the school’s golden pair — popular, admired, and constantly shipped. the only problem? you can’t stand him. from competing on exams to gym class, you’re always neck and neck, and no one gets under your skin like he does. but while you see a rival, he sees the love of his life. when you overhear a hushed conversation that breaks you, will heeseung be able to win you back?

featuring: all of enha, winter from aespa, yuqi from (g)i-dle, and keeho from p1h

genre: angst... slow burn, some fluff, kissing, skinship, SMUTTTT, college au, first love trope?? sorta? one sided enemies to lovers

warnings: smut so mdni (18+), alcohol consumption, vandalizing property, Sexual Tension, everyone is around the same age (21-23), lowercase intended <3

playlist: you broke me first by tate mcrae & what was i made for — billie eilish

(smut warnings under cut!)

wc: 13.271k

a/n: first fic is here! plsplspls leave feedback as anything helps!! was listening to you broke me first and got inspo for a kinda angsty fic pls bare with me :3 anyways! enjoy the read <3<3

smut content: mention of toys (but no use), fingering, squirting, unprotected sex (not for you), dry humping, switch! hee and reader, riding, mating press, too much kissing, masturbation (m.), breeding kink, slight dacryphilia, oral (m. & f.), deepthroating, belly bulge, creampie, size kinkish, big dick! hee, not much aftercare but it's like fluffy, y/n has a “reputation” that she gets around, VIRGIN HEESEUNG (but no one knows…) i think thats it? lmk if i missed anything ◡̈

not proofread!

lee. fucking. heeseung. you hate him. you can't stand him. he always knows what to say just to piss you off. you might be wondering, "why don't you just try to avoid him?" the issue is... you do. you try with ALL your power but to no avail, he's in the same friend group as you.

your friends, knowing you hate him, decided to combine friend groups to see if you and him could mend things. spoiler alert: it failed miserably.

you felt safe in your small circle with keeho (the man you deemed to be your biological older brother — you aren't related), yuqi (your junior high best friend), and winter (your literal wife).

you guys were well known around the entire city of seoul for being the "it group" — always partying, hooking up, and somehow still acing every class (while nursing massive hangovers).

however, heeseung's friend group consisted of the golden boys in decelis university: park jongseong (known as jay, he hates his given name), sim jaeyun (known as the australian transfer student, jake), park sunghoon (the insanely hot figure skater), kim sunoo (the bubbliest person you've ever met), yang jungwon (the boy with feline features, however you've made a special note to never piss him off cause he has a black belt), and nishimura riki (known as ni-ki because he wanted to be different).

you loved riki. he was like your younger brother — chaotic, blunt, and always three steps ahead of everyone. you’d even joked once that if you had to suffer heeseung’s presence, at least you got riki out of it.

unfortunately, riki had the worst habit of instigating chaos.

“truth or dare?” he asked one friday night, grinning like he already had your life planned out. everyone was crammed into jay’s ridiculously large basement, music low, snacks half eaten, and bodies sprawled on beanbags and plush carpet.

you should’ve said “truth.” you knew you should’ve. but you weren’t a coward.

“dare,” you answered, arms crossed, eyes sharp.

the group erupted in ooooh's in perfect synchronicity.

riki’s grin only widened. “i dare you to sit on heeseung’s lap for five minutes.”

you almost lunged across the room.

“riki,” you hissed, “you are so dead.”

he just wiggled his brows suggestively. “i’m a baby. you wouldn’t hurt me.”

the worst part? he was right.

you looked over at heeseung, who was watching you like a cat watching a cornered mouse — lazy smirk, fingers casually drumming against his knee. “scared, sweetheart?”

“i’ll kill you in your sleep,” you said sweetly as you stalked over and dropped yourself into his lap like he was made of cardboard and air.

he oofed, not because you were heavy, but because he wasn’t expecting you to actually do it.

“wow,” he murmured, lips near your ear. “you smell like citrus and bad decisions.”

you resisted the urge to elbow him in the ribs.

five minutes. you just had to survive five minutes.

but then his hands casually settled on your waist, and you felt it — the spark. the electric, traitorous, goddamn spark that told you this was a very, very bad idea.

because maybe, just maybe, your hatred wasn’t as pure as you thought- no. what are you thinking??? you immediately shook the feeling that was buzzing inside you and blamed it on the alcohol swimming in your blood.

you definitely. hated heeseung. yup, yeah, you really did.

heeseung on the other hand? he was just praying to every god he could think of that you couldn't feel how sweaty his palms were getting.

because he was panicking. full blown, internal screaming, oh-no-she’s-sitting-on-me-and-she’s-warm kind of panicking. he hadn't expected you to actually follow through on your usual threats, much less practically straddle him in front of your mutual friends.

but now? now he was just trying to not pass out from the sheer force of your perfume and presence and the weight of years of unresolved tension that sat heavier than you ever could.

"you're sweating," you said flatly, side eyeing him with that expression that usually meant murder or mockery — or both. "you good?"

"totally," he croaked. "i always nearly die when beautiful people threaten me. it's, like, my thing."

you blinked once. twice.

"did you just call me beautiful?"

"i said what i said," he muttered, then immediately regretted everything.

your brows lifted in slow, dangerous amusement. "you feeling okay, heeseung? you hitting on me while i’m threatening you?”

“wouldn’t be the first time,” he said, almost too quiet for you to hear.

and there it was again. the spark. like a lighter flicked too close to your frayed nerves.

you looked away, choosing to focus on literally anything else, but his grip on your waist tightened just slightly, grounding you, almost daring you to acknowledge it.

“how much longer do i have to sit on this assholes lap?” you questioned under your breath, reminding yourself, reminding him, that this was temporary.

"4 minutes!" jake sang back as his accented voice rang in your ears. fuck, it's only been one minute? you thought to yourself... until he spoke.

“i could ruin us in three,” he whispered, warm breath tickling your ear. he was so close you could practically feel his labored breathing against your back. you craned your neck to the side so you could look him in the eyes, "what did you just say???" heeseung was at a loss for words — his brain only drawing blanks.

did he say what he thought he said in his head out loud? impossible. he's hidden it so well, no one in your guys' shared friend group had even suspected his overbearing attraction towards you.

so heeseung did the only thing he could think of. he gulped.

just as your gaze dropped to his adams apple, sunghoon cleared his throat, reducing the fiery tension between you two to reduce to a simmer. "time's up" he stated. and just like that, the warmth you once shared was gone.

as the game progressed, the most interesting things to occur were jake kissing sunghoon on the cheek, riki vandalizing an old alley way that never saw the sun, and winter lady-and-the-tramping a twizzler with keeho.

you and heeseung never dared to even spare a glance in each other's direction for the rest of the night.

───

you laid awake, staring at the ceiling in jay's basement while trying to get comfy on the leather couch that probably cost more than your entire wardrobe. you couldn't sleep. and the reason? none other than your self-proclaimed arch nemesis: lee heeseung.

your friend groups slept on different floors to prevent you and heeseung arguing and waking up the entire house. you slowly got up, attempting and (barely) succeeding to not step on a sleeping figure sprawled on the floor.

as you walk up the stairs from the basement, you hear two people whisper shouting at each other.

you glance at the time displayed on your phone.

a measly 3:16 am stared brightly at you. who's awake at this hour?? as you step closer to the hushed voices, you think you can make out the unmistakeable deepness of riki's voice and heeseung's annoying(ly hot) whispers, tinged with sleep.

"why the fuck would you dare HER of all people to sit on MY lap????" heeseung shouts quietly, clearly frustrated. riki bursts into a fit of giggles. "dude, don't tell me you feel something for her, don't you guys like hate each other?" he says between snide little chuckles.

heeseung freezes. there's no way riki really caught on to what he was supposed to never let slip through the cracks... right?! so he musters up all the dignity he has left and defensively grunts a series of defenses "nowhywouldieverseeherlikethatsheisn'tmytypeandithinkshe'sgross"

riki blankly stares back at heeseung's panicking eyes, "okayyy," he drags the word out, "you don't need to put her down like that, she's like my older sister, dude" riki spits back.

your lips twitch in a small smile, just for a second. just long enough for riki to catch your eyes peeking behind the corner. he nods once, subtle and solid. always in your corner.

but the comfort dies as soon as heeseung opens his mouth.

"i could never love someone like her."

and the world stops.

he says it so casually. almost like it’s a joke. like it's just another throwaway comment tossed between drinks and half-meant insults. but it lands with the weight of something cruelly true — or at least, something you believe he means.

you feel the breath hitch in your throat. just once.

riki's gaze is drawn to your frozen frame. and that's when everything freezes. heeseung whips around to see you standing there. eyes blown and glossy.

riki shifts, but he doesn’t move to try and console you — he knows better. knows this is something that'll bruise. something you need time to process, alone.

you bite back tears. “right,” you say, quietly. “of course.”

heeseung’s expression flickers — confusion, regret, something else — but you’ve already masked the pain. emotion draining from your face like you’ve trained for it. like it’s a sport. like if you stop moving, the hurt will catch up.

“i didn’t mean it like that,” he says, a little too late, a little too soft.

you readjust your posture, fixing your shirt.

“you meant it exactly like that,” you reply, and it’s not even bitter. it’s worse. numb.

riki’s there before heeseung can say anything else. standing between you like a wall. like a shield.

“walk away,” he tells you gently, and you do.

because if you stay, you might ask him why not. and you’re not sure your heart could take the answer.

riki turns back to heeseung, flames he's never seen before burning in the younger boys irises that are normally filled with mischief and teasing glints. but all of a sudden none of that is there anymore. it's pure, unfiltered anger. raw emotion.

heeseung wants him to yell at him. say something, anything. but nothing comes. riki just walks upstairs like he doesn't even know who heeseung is anymore.

and maybe he doesn't.

───

the next morning, when heeseung wakes up, it's almost peaceful. until rain begins to tip tap on the roof and everything comes crashing down. his chest is tight and immediately swells with regret. so much he thinks it'll spill out of him just like the rain outside.

he needs to talk to you. make sure you're okay. but he knows he's the last person you want to see right now. still, he has to try

as he descends down the stairs, he doesn't smell the usual feast jay would prepare them: eggs, bacon, toast, orange juice and cereal for jake since he claims, "it doesn't hurt his tummy," (his words).

he actually doesn't see jake. nor sunghoon, sunoo, jungwon, jay, winter, yuqi, or keeho.

after last nights events, he expected not to see riki as he was probably with you.

how did he go from having the girl of his dreams sitting on his lap, to making her hate him even more?

it's simple, really: he fucked up.

he moves through the house like a ghost — rooms too quiet, air too still. no laughter, no music playing off someone’s phone. just him and the rain.

the basement still has the blanket you’d curled up with last night. your mug — half full. he picks it up, and it’s cold. like him.

he tries to call riki. no answer.

he tries to call you.

it goes straight to voicemail.

he types out a text. deletes it. tries again.

“i didn’t mean what i said. i didn’t mean to hurt you. i'm sorry, y/n”

he stares at it. sends it.

and immediately regrets it. because what if you never answer?

as he packs up all his belongings, ready for the uncomfortable drive home, someone enters the house.

heeseung's heart rate picks up. what if it's you? he bolts down the stairs and is ultimately disappointed when he's met with a very disapproving jay.

they stand across from one another, staring into each others eyes.

heeseung's the first to break. he collapses on the bar stool at the counter and drops his head into his hands like it weighs a ton.

jay just sighs and sits down next to his friend.

"is she okay?" heeseung mumbles, his face buried in his hands.

jay’s jaw tightens. "why do you care?" he snaps. "you sure as hell didn’t last night when you said you could never love someone like her."

the words hit hard — harder than jay intended — and heeseung shatters.

the sobs break out of him like a dam giving way, loud and raw. tears stream down his face, and the sound of it makes jay flinch, caught off guard by how real the pain is. how broken heeseung suddenly looks.

still, jay moves without thinking, reaching out and rubbing slow circles on his friend’s back. it doesn’t fix anything, but it softens the edges of the moment.

they sit there in silence, the storm outside echoing the one inside, as heeseung cries himself hoarse.

by the time he’s able to breathe steadily again, nearly an hour has passed. his eyes are red, his voice barely there. he lifts his head and meets jay’s gaze; tired looking into just as tired.

neither of them says much. there’s no need.

finally, jay sighs and stands. “go grab your stuff,” he says quietly. “you’re in no shape to drive. i’ll take you home.”

heeseung doesn’t argue.

because for once, he knows jay’s right.

───

your phone dings.

dni: i didn't mean what i said. i didn't mean to hurt you. i'm sorry, y/n

you stare at your phone. gaze void of emotion. you've cried out everything you could muster.

you don't even know why heeseung's words echo in your head.

were you really that intolerable to be around? surely you weren't. all of heeseung's friends enjoyed hanging out with you and same with your little group.

so why did hearing your supposed enemy say he could never love someone like you hurt so bad?

you suppose you need to distract yourself from thinking that heeseung's words have any sort of impact on you. and that's when your door swings open. riki, yuqi, winter, keeho, sunghoon, jake, sunoo, and jungwon walk into your apartment with food, video games, board games, coloring books, skincare — everything you needed at the moment.

a break.

a break from your spiraling thoughts and endless questions you didn't want answered.

there's a knock at the door, jay comes in after he dropped heeseung off, with a freshly made cake, red velvet. your favorite.

you don’t move at first.

the warmth of your friends floods the apartment — laughter, chatter, the familiar rustle of takeout bags and the buzz of game controllers syncing. but it feels distant, like you’re underwater, watching from behind a thick pane of glass.

yuqi wraps her arms around you from behind, cheek resting on your shoulder. “we got your favorite pork buns,” she says softly.

you nod. you don’t trust your voice.

riki’s the one who notices your phone still clutched in your hand. screen glowing. that message. his message.

he doesn’t say anything, but he takes the phone from you gently, pressing the lock button, letting the screen fade to black. and you’re grateful. because if you kept staring at it, you might’ve started crying again, and you didn’t think you had anything left in you.

“movie?” sunghoon offers, holding up a stack of dvd's none of you ever returned to the library.

“coloring?” sunoo chirps, already spreading out gel pens across your coffee table.

“face masks?” winter insists, already tearing them open.

you let them distract you. you let them love you in the only way they know how — loudly, messily, unconditionally.

there’s a moment, in the middle of the chaos, when keeho makes a stupid joke and jungwon snorts soda out of his nose, that you laugh. actually laugh.

and then it hits you like whiplash — how easily heeseung could’ve been here. how almost close you came to letting yourself believe there was something soft behind his smirks and eye rolls. how you’d dared to hope that maybe, just maybe, the tension between you wasn’t just one-sided delusion.

but then he said it. “i could never love someone like her.”

and even with the people you love surrounding you, something in your chest hurts. like a bruise that won’t stop blooming.

later, after everyone’s settled into pillows and half-finished coloring pages, riki sits beside you. he doesn’t speak for a long time.

then, quietly, “you don’t have to pretend around me.”

and that’s when your lip trembles. just slightly.

“i don’t know why it hurts this much,” you whisper. “i knew he hated me. i knew. so why do i feel so broken?"

“he didn’t have to say it like that,” riki replies, voice firm. “he didn’t have to break something just because he couldn’t admit he wanted to hold it.”

you nod, finally letting a single tear trail down your cheek. riki wipes it away before it can fall too far.

he squeezes your hand.

“he messed up,” he says. “that’s on him. not you.”

you hold onto that — his words, their presence, the comfort of being chosen and cared for.

and for the first time since last night, you breathe. not easily. not painlessly. but it’s a start.

───

heeseung didn't know how hard it would be to try and get any information about you.

how you were doing, if you were okay. anything

your mutual friends? after hearing how massive he fucked up, they sided with you.

sure, jay, jake, sunghoon, sunoo, and jungwon would text him and hang out with him occasionally, but they wouldn't utter a word about you. most of the time heeseung saw them, it would be for awkward movie nights or when they would game together when none of them could sleep.

when he was alone, his mind ached, his chest twisted in pain, but mostly... his body ached.

he tried to stop it, he knew it was wrong.

but when you sat on his lap, something in him shifted.

sure he knew you were pretty (breathtakingly stunning), but he never imagined something he thought about constantly would ever become reality.

he thought back to those 5 minutes. the tension. surely it couldn't have just been made up in his head, right?

the way your entire body tensed when his hands rested on your hips. normally he wouldn't have touched you, but you were shifting and he needed to stop his growing problem before you noticed.

and thankfully it worked.

however, he was already hard as a brick.

his breath hitched as he remembered the look in your eyes — uncertain, but not scared. curious, maybe? or was he projecting again?

he swallowed hard, his hands now clenched at his sides like if he let them loose, they’d betray him again.

five minutes. that’s all it was. but it looped in his head like a damn broken record.

you hadn’t said a word. but your thighs had tensed. and when he shifted, trying to regain his composure, you hadn't moved away — not immediately, anyway.

maybe it meant nothing. maybe you hadn’t even noticed the way his breath had gone shallow or the way he was holding back like his life depended on it.

but god, his body remembered.

he shifted in his bed now, alone, frustrated, angry at himself. this wasn’t who he was supposed to be. he wasn’t supposed to want this — to want you — not like this. not in silence, not in secrecy, not in pain.

but the damage was already done.

and the worst part?

he wasn’t sure he even wanted to stop anymore.

as he stared at his chase atlantic posters, he thought to himself. any guy would get hard when a pretty girl sits on his lap, right? surely it isn't just because he's a pathetic virgin who's had to lie to his entire friend group about how he "gets around."

soon enough, his thoughts were interrupted by the rapidly increasing ache between his legs.

his hands trembled slightly as they hovered over the tent in his shorts. his breathing was shallow, lips parted, eyes half-lidded as if he were caught in some fever dream he didn’t want to wake up from.

he hated how much he needed this.

how much he needed you.

with a low, strangled groan, he finally gave in, palming himself over the thin fabric. the relief was immediate, but it wasn’t enough — it never was. not when the ache ran deeper than just skin. not when every nerve in his body was screaming for more.

he slipped his hand beneath his waistband, hissing through clenched teeth as his fingers wrapped around his thick length, already twitching with need. he was so hard it hurt, painfully stiff and dripping at the tip, slicking his palm almost instantly.

your name burned on his tongue, but he swallowed it back.

he couldn’t say it. shouldn’t say it.

but in his head, it echoed over and over again. your laugh. your voice. the way you looked at him — or didn’t. the way you moved. god, he remembered everything. he was haunted by it.

he shut his eyes tight and let his hand move — slow at first, starting at his base and dragging his fingers up each vein decorating the sides. his patience wore out quicker than he'd ever admit, starting to move up his length, then down with just enough pressure to make his thighs twitch. he bit his lip, hard, trying to hold in the sounds. but as the memory of you shifting in his lap played behind his eyelids like a cruel fantasy, a soft whimper escaped.

he was losing it.

desperation clawed at him with every stroke, every flex of his hand. his hips lifted off the mattress as his muscles tensed. he imagined your fingers replacing his, your body hovering over his, your breath against his neck.

“please,” he gasped into the dark — not even sure what he was begging for. forgiveness? permission? you?

he pumped harder now, faster, chasing that high like it would save him. his other hand gripped the sheets, knuckles white. he was right on the edge, falling apart with nothing but the echo of your presence and the throb of need coiled deep in his belly.

“i need — fuck, i need you,” he moaned, broken and breathless. his body was hot, slick with sweat, twitching under his own touch.

he could feel it. the band threatening to snap at any moment.

he swirled his fingers around his tip, hitting that spot that made his vision go white. he was close.

all it took to unravel him was an image of you, mouth replacing his hand. trying to fit as much of him into your mouth while he just laid there and took it.

eventually the thought was too much, his seed spilled over his stomach in thick, messy ropes, his fist slowing only when the aftershocks wracked his frame like a wave of guilt and pleasure colliding all at once.

he laid there for a moment, chest heaving, skin flushed and sticky.

and then it hit him.

he still wasn’t satisfied.

because it wasn’t your touch. it wasn’t your voice, your kiss, your heat. it was just his hand and a fantasy he couldn't let go of.

and no matter how many times he did this, no matter how many times he used the memory of you…

it was never going to be enough.

───

you’ve held it together for as long as you could — smiled through movie nights, laughed at keeho’s stupid impressions, even ate something other than ramen yesterday. but it’s all surface level. the moment you're alone again, the cracks split wide open.

there you are, sitting on your couch, drowning in your thoughts. 

the faint glow of the streetlamp filters through the windows, further highlighting the text message staring back at you

“i didn’t mean it.” 

it replays in your head over and over like a broken record until your vision starts to blur. tears flood your waterline but you make no effort to stop them. 

you don’t sob. you just sit there, hurting so quietly it’s almost peaceful.

until it isn’t. 

your lip trembles slightly, then it all comes pouring out. 

“why? why did you say that? what the fuck. did i do to deserve those words?” 

riki hears your quiet words from the bathroom. he comes rushing out, empathy and sadness twirling in his eyes. 

“hey, hey, hey, talk to me y/n. yell at me if you need to, yeah?” he says. voice barely above a whisper. all you can choke out is a tiny “no, none of this is your fault.” 

riki sits next to you, holding you, trying to piece you back together as if he were the one who broke you.

disrupting the mellow silence lingering in your apartment, there’s a knock at the door.

not wanting the worst case scenario, you answering the door to heeseung, riki gets up and makes his way to where the sound came from. 

to both of your dismay, a tired heeseung stands in the doorway. 

his hair is messy, dark bags under his usually teasing eyes, looking like he hasn’t slept in days.

he freezes when he sees you. your puffy eyes, shaking hands, the way you curl in on yourself like you’re trying to disappear. 

riki steps in front of you, but you give him the signal to back down. you and heeseung can handle this alone. what’s another argument anyways? 

as riki walks away, heeseung starts slowly “yn…” 

you look at him. and no matter how hard you could have tried, nothing could have stopped you from snapping at him.

“why are you here?”  “i had to see you. i had to say–”  “you already said enough, heeseung.” 

god. the way you say his name. all he’s thought about since you last saw each other was you saying his name. and now, he doesn’t wanna hear it ever again. 

he opens his mouth to speak, but you beat him to it. 

“do you know what it felt like to hear you say i wasn’t lovable? that someone like me could never be enough for you?” 

as if you could read his mind, you shake your head, dismissing whatever he was about to spit out. 

with every last ounce of energy you can gather, you scream. “you don’t get to feel sorry now. you made your choice the other night. i knew we had a mutual hatred, or at least some twisted distaste, but i never even thought about saying something like that to you.”

he doesn’t respond right away. just stands there, frozen. then you hear it. soft sniffles. ragged breathing. sobs.

he breaks.

because this is the first time he gets it. really, truly understands what he did. what he said. what it cost you.

“i’m sorry,” he chokes out, voice cracked and barely audible. “truly. what i said last week… i didn’t mean it. even thinking it broke me.”

you stare at him for a long, quiet second. and then you say it — flat, but shaking.

“you broke me first, heeseung.”

his breath catches. your words land like a punch to the gut, because they’re the truth. maybe the first truth spoken between you in a long time.

heeseung, who’s always so calm. so composed. the one who rolls his eyes at everything and makes everything feel like a joke. he’s crumbling in front of you now. not fighting. not defending. just falling apart.

and then it hits you. maybe he’s always been like this.

watching you. listening. never the first to strike, only ever the one to react. maybe he was never the villain in this story.

your breath hitches. maybe, just maybe, you were wrong.

you don’t know why the realization crashes down now. maybe it’s the sound of his sobs. maybe it’s the way the silence has more weight than anything he’s ever said. but something inside you shifts.

and for the first time, you see him — not as the enemy. but as the boy who let you hate him, because he didn’t know how to ask for anything else.

you replay every argument like a tape stuck on rewind. you were always the one who started it.

the snide comments. the sideways glances. the venom you dressed up as jokes.

heeseung never really fought back. he always matched your energy, sure, but he never escalated it. never crossed a line. not until that night.

your chest tightens. you realize you don’t even remember what the first fight was about. some hallway bump? a misunderstood glance? maybe it was never about anything. maybe it was just you, projecting every piece of your brokenness onto the only person who saw through it and stayed.

god, had he always stayed?

you remember in elementary school, how he used to bring you extra snacks when you forgot lunch. how he gave you his hoodie that one time you were shivering during morning assembly, even after you’d spent the entire week roasting him in front of your friends.

you remember the way his gaze always lingered—not in a way that felt invasive, but like he was always checking. watching over you without saying a word.

and now here he is. slumped into his knees. back pressed against the wall, crying over you.

you were so busy building walls with your bitterness that you didn’t notice it was slowly breaking him. 

the quiet way he tried to reach over them.

you sink to the floor across from him, not close enough to touch, but close enough to feel the weight of everything between you.

for a long moment, you don’t speak. neither does he. you just breathe in the silence together — like it’s the only language you both understand.

“i didn’t know how to stop hating you,” you whisper, voice catching. “because if i stopped… i think i would’ve started needing you.”

heeseung lifts his head. eyes red, lashes wet.

“i already did,” he says. “i never stopped.”

your heart fractures in a way that doesn’t feel sharp, just tired. heavy.

“i don’t know what to do with that,” you admit.

“you don’t have to do anything,” he murmurs. “not tonight.”

you nod. once. then you help him get up. both your legs feel numb, but you walk him towards the door. your hand rests on the handle, taking a second to look up at him. really look at him, and you’re tempted to say something. 

but instead, you give him the quietest thing you can offer: a small, broken sort of smile. not quite forgiveness. not quite goodbye.

then, he steps out into the night. and just like that, the quietness of everything settling in takes over. no more lies. just the truth.

as you’re deep in thought, riki walks in with two mugs of hot chocolate — extra marshmallows, your favorite. 

-ˏˋ⋆ 3 years ago ⋆ˊˎ-  

it’s a chilly summer night. you and riki are sprawled out on the roof of his parents' house, the shingles warm beneath your backs from the day’s lingering sun. crickets hum below. the stars blink overhead, careless and constant.

you shift slightly, seeking warmth, and without a word, riki lifts his arm. you curl into the space beside him, head on his shoulder, fingers tucked into the sleeve of his hoodie. his arm settles around you like it belongs there.

“do you think we’ll ever feel like this again?” you murmur. “peaceful. like nothing’s wrong.”

he hums low in his chest. “you mean without chaos or boys who don’t deserve you?”

you let out a breath, half a laugh. “exactly.”

there’s a pause, the kind that feels thick with unspoken things.

riki’s voice is soft when he finally speaks. “i think… the people who make you feel heavy, like you're constantly questioning yourself, that’s not love, y/n. that’s something else.”

you turn your face slightly to look up at him. he’s gazing at the stars like he’s afraid of admitting he craves the one thing he’s always sworn to never care about. 

“love should never hurt,” he says, quieter this time. “not the kind that stays.”

you don’t say anything right away. you’re too busy memorizing the way the night folds around his words. the way he’s always been a comfort for you, the one to pick you up when you’re falling. 

and in that moment, you believe him. you really do.

you nod once. “then i hope… when it’s my turn, it feels like this. safe.”

riki swallows. “me too.”

-ˏˋ⋆ present time ⋆ˊˎ- 

and now, back in your bedroom, the silence left in heeseung’s absence is deafening.

your gaze flicks toward the window, rain still threading down the glass like tear tracks. your mind lingers on that rooftop — the stars, the safety, the version of you who still believed in soft things.

before all the hook-ups, parties, and one-sided confessions. 

you pull the blanket tighter around your shoulders and whisper. either to riki or yourself, you don’t know.

“you said love should never hurt. i think heeseung missed that memo.”

and god, how you wish you could go back to that night — before the spiral, before the ache.

before the boy who made you feel like an afterthought.

before you let yourself fall over someone you thought you didn’t care about. 

riki leaves after making sure you’re alright, mumbling something about dance practice. 

and again, it’s just you. in the quiet. 

then, almost without thinking, you rip a blank piece of paper out of your journal.

you don’t plan it. it’s just instinct — fingers gripping your pen, waiting for permission your heart hasn’t quite given. but then you start writing.

dear heeseung,

i hated you before i knew how badly i could want you. maybe that’s where it all went wrong. because at some point, i stopped seeing you as the boy who annoyed me and started seeing you as someone i wanted to understand. as someone i wanted to look at me and see me. and for a while, i thought maybe you did. i thought maybe the way you pulled me into your lap, the way you whispered near my ear, the way your hand rested on my waist — i thought maybe it meant something. i thought i was stupid for hating you. turns out i was just stupid for hoping. you said you could never love someone like me. and god, that broke something in me i didn’t know was still whole. because even when i told myself i hated you, there was always that small, traitorous part of me that wondered: what if he doesn’t hate me back? what if it’s more? but it wasn’t. and now i can’t unhear it. you probably didn’t even mean it — not in the way it came out. maybe it was fear, or pressure, or ego. but it doesn’t matter, does it? words don’t get erased just because we didn’t mean them. they echo. and yours… yours are still echoing inside me like a song i can’t shut off. i don’t think i’m mad at you anymore. i think i’m mad at myself. for letting you get close. for not guarding the parts of me i only let out in small doses. for thinking i was different to you. i wish you hadn’t said it. but mostly, i wish it hadn’t mattered so much to me that you did. – y/n

you take out an envelope, neatly fold the paper and stuff it inside, writing a neat ‘heeseung’ on the front of it. 

some truths aren’t meant to be sent. some confessions are only meant for the rain to witness.

and tonight, that’s enough.

───

the second the door shuts behind him, the silence hits like a punch to the ribs.

heeseung stands there for a second too long, staring at the wood grain of your door like it might open again. like maybe you’ll come running after him. like maybe that small, broken smile you gave him wasn’t the end.

but it doesn’t open.

and it was the end.

he starts walking. he doesn’t even remember moving his feet, just that suddenly he’s outside, and the rain greets him like an old friend. cold, sharp, unforgiving. it soaks through his hoodie in seconds, but he doesn’t flinch.

he deserves it. every drop. every chill. every echo of your voice in his head.

“not quite forgiveness. not quite goodbye.”

god, what did he do?

how did he take someone who was literally sitting in his lap, trusting him with the fragile thread of something real — and turn that into this? this mess of silence and space and words he can’t take back?

“i could never love someone like her.”

he had said it so carelessly. so cruelly. trying to deflect the attention off himself in front of your friends, like a coward. like a boy who still thinks protecting his ego is worth more than protecting a heart.

especially your heart.

he wipes his face with the back of his hand, unsure if it’s tears or rain. it’s probably both.

he thinks back to your eyes right before he left. the way you looked at him like he was someone you used to know. like whatever thread was between you had finally snapped.

and the worst part?

he couldn’t even beg you to stay.

because he knows — he knows — he doesn’t deserve it.

he walks home in silence, the city around him buzzing and breathing like it doesn’t care at all about the wreckage inside his chest. his phone buzzes a few times in his pocket, probably jay or jungwon checking if he made it back safely.

but none of it matters.

because there’s only one person he wants to hear from.

and you’ve already said everything you needed to say. in the way you didn’t ask him to stay. in the way you didn’t cry. in the way you simply closed the door.

so when heeseung finally steps into his apartment, soaked to the bone, trembling from more than just the cold, he collapses on his bed, stares at the ceiling, and whispers:

“i didn’t mean it. i swear i didn’t mean it.”

but there’s no one left to listen.

not tonight.

───

heeseung isn’t the center of your world anymore.

not in the way he used to be.

in the weeks that follow, your friends become your anchor. riki never leaves your side. winter brings over matcha lattes and blankets. sunoo paints your nails while jake tells bad jokes. you laugh again. slowly, but surely.

you start writing more letters.

some are angry. some are soft. some are nothing more than wordless scratches of ink on paper.

but one night, you write a letter that feels different.

you don’t even realize what you’re saying until it’s already down:

i wanted you. for a long time. maybe even when i said i hated you. maybe that was the only way i knew how to say it without crumbling. i masked want with rage. affection with sarcasm. love with loathing. you made it easier to run. but i wanted to stay. god, i wanted to stay.

you fold that letter gently. tuck it into your drawer. it doesn’t matter if he reads it. not now.

because healing isn’t about him.

it’s about you.

and you’re getting there.

lately, the weekends have felt lighter. your apartment has become a familiar gathering place again, only now, it’s just the people who stayed. who showed up. who chose you. heeseung hasn’t come around in weeks, and no one really talks about it. not in a cruel way, just in the quiet, understanding way that friendships shift when someone slips out of the picture.

you used to dread saturday nights, used to flinch every time the group chat lit up with plans. used to wonder if he’d show up, if you’d have to spend the night pretending not to notice the weight of his silence, the way your laughter dulled around him. but somewhere along the way, those nights started to feel easier. not because you stopped missing him — but because you started remembering how to miss him without hurting yourself in the process.

your living room is alive with warmth and laughter. the scent of popcorn and mango smoothies drifts through the air. blankets are piled high on the couch, soft pillows strewn across the floor where riki is dramatically throwing himself down after losing yet another round of mario kart to sunghoon, who’s grinning like he just won the olympics.

“cheater,” riki groans, pointing an accusing finger without lifting his head.

“just admit i’m better,” sunghoon replies smugly, stretching his legs across the coffee table like he owns the place.

in the corner, winter and yuqi are dancing barefoot to a chaotic mix of early 2000s pop and indie throwbacks — somehow still synced up to choreography you’d all made up back in sophomore year. their laughter is contagious, unfiltered and bright, and it tugs a smile onto your face before you even realize it.

keeho is halfway through teaching jungwon and sunoo a tiktok dance in the kitchen doorway, voice loud and arms flailing with exaggerated energy. they’re laughing too hard to get the moves right, collapsing into each other every time they mess up. jake, unfazed by the chaos, is blending something suspiciously green in the kitchen, wearing a headband that reads “chef vibes only.”

you’re curled up on the loveseat, blanket wrapped around your shoulders, a half-finished smoothie in your hands. and for once, you’re not scanning the room for him. you’re not wondering what he’d say or how he’d look at you or if tonight would be the night he pulled you aside and finally said something real.

you’re just… here. and it’s enough.

someone throws a pillow at your head, probably riki, based on the cackling, and you lunge to retaliate, laughing as the pillow war erupts across the living room. it’s messy, loud, ridiculous. and it’s yours. this little world you’re rebuilding, one laugh, one night, one breath at a time.

there’s still a part of you that misses him. maybe there always will be. but tonight, that part is small. quiet.

outnumbered by joy.

meanwhile, heeseung is alone in his apartment.

the place is dim. quiet. it hasn’t felt like home in a long time. he's been staring at his phone for an hour now, hoping for a text that doesn’t come.

he thinks about the group chat. the silence from everyone. he thinks about the night he ruined everything. and how, somehow, he still wants to fix it.

he knows an apology isn’t enough. not this time.

he needs to show you, all of you, that he’s not the same guy who let his fear speak louder than his heart.

he just doesn’t know how yet.

but he will. he has to.

because he doesn’t just want forgiveness.

he wants to deserve it.

───

somewhere in the chaos, one of your unsent letters goes missing.

riki finds it by accident. tucked under a cushion, edges worn. he doesn't mean to read it, but your handwriting draws him in, and before he knows it, he's holding your heartbreak in his hands.

he doesn't say a word. just slips it into his pocket and walks away.

a day later, heeseung finds the letter folded on the seat of his car.

he doesn’t recognize the paper at first. but the second he sees your handwriting, his heart drops.

his hands shake as he unfolds it. the silence around him is so loud, he can hear his pulse in his ears.

and then he reads it.

every word. every line. every raw, aching truth you never meant for him to see.

i thought maybe the way you pulled me into your lap, the way you whispered near my ear, the way your hand rested on my waist — i thought maybe it meant something. turns out i was just stupid for hoping. you said you could never love someone like me. and god, that broke something in me i didn’t know was still whole.

heeseung sits there, completely still. letter trembling in his grip.

"fuck," he whispers. "fuck."

he shows up to the next group hangout like his life depends on it.

he doesn’t talk to anyone. not really. not until you walk in.

you freeze when you see him. part of you wants to turn around and leave.

but he doesn’t let you.

he stands. crosses the room.

"can we talk?" he asks, voice low, not demanding, but pleading.

you don’t say anything.

"please. just five minutes. if you still hate me after, i’ll leave you alone. forever."

there’s a long pause.

you nod.

he takes you outside, away from the noise, into the quiet night.

"i read it," he says.

you blink. "read what?"

he reaches into his jacket and pulls out the letter. your letter.

your stomach drops.

"i wasn’t supposed to see it, i know. but... i’m glad i did."

"heeseung—"

"no. let me say this. please."

his eyes are desperate. glassy. his words shaky.

"i lied. that night. i said that because i was scared. because i felt too much, too fast, and didn’t know what to do with it. i thought if i pushed you away, i could kill whatever it was before it killed me."

he takes a step closer.

"but you weren’t just someone i hated. not really. you were someone i couldn’t stop thinking about. you were the highlight of every party, every night, every moment. i was an idiot. but i never stopped wanting you."

your throat is tight.

"you broke me," you whisper.

he nods.

"i know. and i’ll spend every second proving to you that i’m sorry. not with words — with time. with actions. with everything you’ll let me give."

there’s silence.

then you take a breath.

"you’ve got a lot to prove, lee heeseung."

he gives the smallest, hopeful smile.

"then let me start now."

and he does.

not with fireworks. not with promises he can’t keep. but with the small things. the consistent things.

the next morning, there’s a text from him. simple. 

“did you sleep okay?”

you stare at it for a while before replying. 

“yeah. you?” 

“not really. kept thinking about you.”

you don’t answer that. but your heart stirs anyway.

a few days later, he’s waiting outside your class with a drink in his hand, the one he used to make fun of you for ordering (“that’s basically sugar and foam, y/n”), but now buys without hesitation. he doesn’t try to walk you home. doesn’t push. just hands you the drink, offers a soft “you looked tired,” and walks away before you can respond.

he lets you come to him.

at the next hangout, he doesn’t hover. doesn’t sulk. he helps jake in the kitchen, jokes with jungwon, lets the others tease him without biting back. when you walk in, his eyes find you — but he doesn’t pull you aside. just offers a quiet, careful smile. like he’s waiting. like he’s learning how to stay.

one night, you’re struggling with your laundry, balancing way too many bags and a basket of unfolded clothes, and he appears without a word, grabbing half the load from your arms. you glare at him, but you don’t tell him to stop.

he walks with you to the laundry room, helps you separate colors, folds your towels when you’re too tired to finish. “i owe you way more than this,” he says softly. you don’t look at him. “yeah,” you murmur. “you do.”

he doesn’t reply. just keeps folding.

you start to notice it more after that. the way he lingers behind after group dinners to help clean. the way he listens, really listens, when you talk, even if it’s just about the books you’re reading or the music you’ve been into lately. the way he starts learning your rhythms again, not to manipulate them, but to respect them.

one night, you find a note slipped into your bag.

“this isn’t about getting you back. it’s about being someone who deserves to stand beside you. i don’t expect anything from you. just… thanks for letting me try.”

you don’t know what to do with that. but you keep the note anyway.

and maybe the biggest moment doesn’t feel big at all. it’s late. you’re sitting on the floor of your apartment, overwhelmed with everything—assignments, memories, feelings you’ve tried to ignore—and he shows up.

he doesn’t say anything. just sits beside you. close, but not too close. his shoulder brushes yours. your hand trembles. and without looking at you, he says, “you don’t have to talk. just let me sit here.”

and you do.

because he’s not trying to fix you. he’s just showing up. and maybe that’s what love looks like now.

quiet. patient. real.

you don’t forgive him all at once.

but some nights, it’s harder to pretend you don’t want to.

like the night it rains, and you forget your umbrella. you’re standing under the campus archway, clutching your books to your chest, half-considering just running for it, when a quiet voice says, “hey.”

you turn. heeseung’s holding out his umbrella, expression unreadable, hair already wet from the walk over.

“you’ll get soaked,” you mumble, surprised. “i don’t mind,” he says. “but you hate the rain.”

you want to tell him to leave. want to remind him that knowing those things doesn’t mean he’s forgiven.

but instead, you step under the umbrella. shoulder to shoulder. hearts too close. you don’t say a word the whole walk home. but you remember how he always matched his pace to yours. he still does.

───

there’s another time. movie night.

everyone’s over again, sprawled across the living room. you end up between yuqi and jungwon on the couch, but at some point, someone moves, and when you shift, you realize you’re next to him. again.

the movie plays. people whisper and pass snacks and argue over the plot twist. but all you feel is the space between your knee and his. the ghost of warmth where your arms nearly brush.

you don’t move away. neither does he.

and at one point, you laugh at a stupid scene. without thinking, you glance at him, wanting to see if he found it funny too. he’s already looking at you. and for a second, everything stills.

you look away first. but your heart doesn't stop racing for a long, long time.

───

the third moment is softest of all.

it’s late. everyone’s left. you’re cleaning up alone, stacking plates in the kitchen.

you don’t hear him come back until he’s beside you, rolling up his sleeves.

“thought i’d help,” he says gently. you nod. don’t speak.

you’re both quiet for a while, working in sync. something about it feels… familiar. domestic. like home.

then, as you’re drying the last cup, you glance over. he’s watching you, and there’s something in his eyes. something tender. careful. full of things he hasn’t said yet.

“i miss you,” he says softly. 

your breath catches.

you set the cup down.

“heeseung–”

“i’m not asking for anything,” he interrupts, voice thick. “just… i miss you. and i wanted you to know.”

you swallow hard. there’s so much you could say. but instead, you whisper, “i know.”

he nods once. and then he leaves. because he meant it — he wasn’t asking for anything. but that’s the moment you know: you don’t hate him anymore. you never did. 

───

it happens a week later.

a rooftop. stars overhead. winter’s birthday, most of your friends are tipsy on alcohol, sugar and too many karaoke songs. you haven’t had a drop of alcohol, wanting to truly feel everything.

heeseung finds you leaning against the railing, eyes on the sky.

“hey,” he says. you nod and let him stand beside you.

the silence isn’t awkward anymore. it’s soft. steady.

“can i ask you something?” he says, barely audible.

you hum.

“do you still feel it?” he asks. “whatever it was… whatever we had.”

you don’t answer for a long time.

and then, quietly… “i never really stopped.”

he turns. slowly.

your eyes meet. and in them is every apology he’s ever whispered with his actions. every moment he gave you space. every time he showed up when he didn’t have to.

you reach for him first.

your hand brushes his. his fingers curl around yours like a prayer.

and then, finally, he kisses you.

soft. aching. full of every unspoken word, every almost, every could’ve been. this isn’t the kind of kiss that demands anything. it’s a promise. a beginning.

you pull back first, just enough to whisper, “i don’t wanna do this while you’re intoxicated, i don’t want you to regret it.” 

he stares at you before mumbling into your lips.

“y/n, i haven’t had a drink, but it feels like i’m drunk when i kiss you.” 

your heart stops and everything fades into the background. “don’t break me again.” you plead, face inches away from his. 

he presses his forehead to yours.

“never again,” he breathes.

and this time, you believe him.

as he reconnects your lips, his hands tremble slightly where they find purchase on your waist. the night air is cool, but your skin is burning—flushed, alive, and aching in a way you haven’t let yourself feel in so long.

he pulls back just enough to look at you. his eyes flick between yours and your lips, like he’s still not sure this is real.

“we don’t have to,” he murmurs, voice hoarse. “just say the word.”

but you don’t want him to stop. not tonight. not after everything.

so you slide your fingers into the collar of his jacket, tug him closer until your lips brush his again.

“take me home, heeseung.”

and he does.

his apartment is quiet when you get inside, the chaos of the earlier party gone, the night still humming with something electric. you barely have time to kick your shoes off before his mouth finds yours again. hungrier now, more desperate. like all the restraint he’s shown is unraveling, thread by thread.

his hands are everywhere — your hips, your waist, your jaw. like he’s relearning you. memorizing the weight of you against him.

you tug his jacket off, fingers fumbling with the zipper, and he lets out a low, breathless laugh against your neck.

“still impatient,” he teases.

“still hot when you shut up,” you shoot back, and he groans.

you barely make it to the couch.

he sits first, pulling you into his lap like it’s instinct, like he’s needed this for months. your knees straddle him, bodies pressed chest to chest, your hands tangled in his hair as he kisses you like he’s starving for it.

he tilts his head, deepens the kiss, and it’s filthy. slow. wet. your hips roll against his without thinking, and the noise he makes, low and guttural, goes straight to your core.

“fuck,” he groans. forehead against your collarbone. “you’re gonna kill me.”

you arch into him, tug his shirt over his head, and he follows suit, fingers slipping under the hem of yours, eyes flicking up for permission. you nod, and he peels it off slowly, reverently, like unwrapping something precious.

his hands trail over your skin like he’s trying to remember what it feels like to deserve you.

and then his mouth is on your neck, your shoulder, trailing down until you’re gasping his name, your back arching as he presses kisses across your collarbones.

“you’re so beautiful,” he whispers, like it hurts.

as you reach for his belt wanting to make him feel good, he puts his hand over yours. “there’s something i need to tell you.. before we take anything further.” he says like he doesn’t even want you to know. 

“what is it, hee?” 

god. that nickname. 

it’s what all his close friends call him, however when you say it. he wants to lay the world at your feet. 

“i’m.. uh– a vir-virgin…” he mumbles. you would have missed it had you not been paying close attention. 

you laugh. 

heeseung leans back into the couch, hoping, praying, wishing it to swallow him whole. 

as you observe heeseung, you realize he must be serious. “you’re a virgin? but you– you always used to talk about your hook-ups and how every week it was like you had someone new hanging off your arm??? what do you mean you’re a virgin?” 

he whimpers. he fucking whimpers. “i’m not proud of it, okay? i always came really close to hooking up with girls but i um. i couldn’t you know.. get it… up.” 

you sit there quietly, giving him time to compose himself and continue. 

“everytime i tried to lose my virginity, i couldn’t get hard unless i thought she was you,” he speaks, not gaining enough courage to look you in the eyes. 

you stare at heeseung for a moment, trying to process what he just said. the weight of it settles between you like a delicate secret, and suddenly the playful teasing tone you’d had before feels completely inappropriate.

you can see it in his doe eyes — how embarrassed he is, how much he wants to crawl out of his own skin. the corners of his lips are tugged in a tight line, as if holding in every emotion that threatens to spill out. but you can’t help the smile that creeps onto your face. it’s soft, gentle, but laced with a teasing warmth.

“you’re a virgin?” you ask, letting the words linger a little longer than they should, pretending to be surprised as if he hadn’t just told you, twice.

heeseung’s face reddens, and you see him shrink further into the couch. you could almost feel his desire to hide, to escape. but you don’t let him. instead, you move closer, shifting between his legs, and place your hand on his thigh. a gentle, reassuring pressure.

“god, heeseung,” you tease softly, your lips curling into a smile that isn’t cruel, but playful. “how could you keep that from me? you’ve been all… big talk and ‘i get all the girls,’ and here you are, this nervous little thing, blushing at the thought of being with me?”

his eyes flicker with uncertainty, but you lean in just enough to press your lips to his ear. you feel him tense under the touch, and the subtle shiver runs through his body, telling you everything you need to know. he’s not as confident as he makes it seem.

“you should’ve told me sooner, you know,” you whisper, your voice low, just enough to make his breath hitch. “i would’ve been patient. we could’ve taken it slow.”

heeseung groans softly, his hands gripping the fabric of the couch like he’s holding onto some semblance of control. you smile knowingly, watching the struggle on his face. but it’s not discomfort — it’s desire. you can feel it in the way his eyes refuse to leave yours, in the way his body reacts to the gentleness in your touch.

“i… i don’t want you to think less of me,” he mutters, barely audible, but you catch it anyway. “it’s just… with you, it’s always felt different.”

you gently trace your fingers up his chest, watching as his breath quickens. you’re giving him space to breathe, to process, and then you lean in, brushing your lips against his in a soft, teasing kiss.

“stop worrying about that,” you say quietly, your lips just barely touching his. “i don’t think less of you. if anything, you’re hotter right now than ever before.”

the vulnerability in his eyes shifts. he’s still nervous, but the weight is lifting. and for the first time in a while, you see him start to believe that he doesn’t need to hide anything from you.

then, you shift your focus, teasing him once more with a playful grin. “but you know, heeseung… i could help you with that. we could take this slow, maybe help you get comfortable with what it feels like to be with me. you trust me, don’t you?”

he nods, slowly, not trusting his voice. he’s ready. maybe more than he thought.

and you take that as your cue. you kiss him again, deeper this time, letting the heat between you grow. his body responds to you almost immediately. hands shifting from nervous to eager, pulling you closer as his mouth moves hungrily against yours.

“let me take care of you,” you murmur, your hands trailing down to his belt. this time, you don’t hesitate. you undo it slowly, giving him time to react, but he doesn’t stop you. instead, he leans back into the couch, chest rising and falling with each shallow breath.

heeseung’s eyes search yours one more time, a silent question in them. you nod gently, giving him permission to be vulnerable, to trust you fully.

and when your hands pull his pants down, you can feel the heat of him, see the evidence of his desire. you take your time, enjoying the way he reacts to each touch, savoring the way he trembles under your hands.

you start by rubbing over his bulge when your eyes widen. 

he just stares back at you, not blinking, but incredibly nervous. “is– is something wrong?” he stutters out. 

“wrong? no, heeseung. you’re huge.” 

he blushes and hides his face in his hands. his veiny hands. you’ll definitely need to put those to use later. 

you softly drag his hands away from his face and tell him to never hide from you. you think he’s beautiful like this. 

after he calms down, you look back into his eyes that resemble a deer, and he nods. signaling you to continue. 

you finally trail your eyes down to his raging hard on, you can almost see it pulse. 

his breath quickens the longer you take to begin touching him.

you start by teasing his swollen tip, arousal evident in the stain on his gray boxers. he sighs heavily, tipping his head back.

as you rub your hand down to his base, you get a feel for how thick he truly is. 

he’s hard. aching. even at the slightest touch, his eyebrows furrow and he holds back soft groans. 

you rip your hand off his clothed bulge. “if you want me to continue, you need to let me hear you, baby.” 

that was his breaking point, he quickly nods his head yes looking at you with pleading eyes, “c—can you please touch me? it hurts.” 

not wanting to tease him any longer, you rip his boxers off his thighs and his throbbing length slaps against his lower abdomen reaching just above his belly button. precum smears on his abs and you get the urge to lick it off.

so you do.

you gently move his dick away from his toned stomach, swiping your wet muscle along his abs, sucking to leave light marks. 

the noises he makes are downright pornographic, and you think you’ll never be able to hear them enough.

moving your attention back to the hardness in your grasp, you begin to lick up his shaft, tracing each vein with the tip of your tongue. his head is still tipped back, frustrating you a bit because you want his attention on you. 

so… in one swift motion, you take him down your throat until his tip hits the back. his head shoots up and he moans. loud. 

heeseung is in heaven. the feeling of your throat constricting around his cock, he never wants you to pull off of him. he gently pulls your hair into a ponytail, hands shaking when you start moving.

his apartment is filled with filthy noises: wet, loud, and obscene. 

he can hear and feel your gag reflexes kicking in but you don’t budge. you continue to move up and down, not wanting to stop until he cums. 

his tipping point was you somehow taking him even further down your throat, nose brushing his pelvis. he thought you were going to take a break for air but you didn't. 

you stay.

swallowing around him.

the pressure in your jaw is almost unbearable but when you feel his thighs shaking, you know he’s close. and you need to ruin him. 

hollowing your cheeks, you swirl your tongue around his engorged tip, hands coming up to play with his heavy balls. he can’t hold back anymore. the sensation of you taking his whole cock down your tiny throat and the stimulation of his balls in your hands. he groans. 

desperate. low. deep

and spills down your throat. warm, wet, and sticky ropes, pour out of his tip. taking up all the space you had left, some spilling out from the corners of your mouth.

you swallow all that you can, then pull off from his dick. 

heavy breathing is the only thing that can be heard. heeseung threw an arm over his eyes, chest heaving, trying to regain control of his senses.

meanwhile, you haven’t stopped clenching your thighs together. 

you didn’t even notice you were staring until he clears his throat. he just looks so gorgeous all fucked out.

“wow. did you– swallow.. it?” he asks through pants. 

you answer him like it was the most natural thing in the world, “yeah, because it was you” 

he moans, again. and that’s when you notice he’s still hard, still aching. 

as you move to straddle his lap, he grabs your thighs and wraps your legs around his waist. “not here, i want our first time to be special” he says softly, with a kiss to your temple. 

he carries you to his bedroom on wobbly legs and gently lays you down on his bed, hovering on top of you. he plants wet kisses all over your face, trailing down to your neck, collarbones, until he reaches your covered chest.

looking at you with big, lust filled eyes, he waits for your green light. you nod and he fumbles with your bra clasp, eventually tearing the fabric away. 

“you’re stunning,” he says completely awestruck by your half-naked form. 

as he continues staring, he licks his lips, slowly lowering his head wrapping his soft lips around one of your perky buds. 

you instinctively arch into his touch, one of his hands wrapping around your waist as his other hand gently kneads your other boob. soft gasps and whines slip from your lips as you try to grind up in search of any friction where you need it most. 

he senses your desperate pleas and starts moving his body to slot between your legs, face in front of your clothed core. you wiggle your hips trying to convince him to speed up and touch you where you need it the most. 

“can i…?” he practically begs, “yeah” you sigh as you relax into his plush sheets. he drags your sweats down your soft legs planting kisses along the inside of your thighs, all the way down to your calves. he makes his way to your panty clad pussy, pressing a soft kiss to your bundle of nerves aching for him. 

you don’t think you’ve ever been this turned on before.

he looks so good between your thighs, you want this image ingrained into your brain forever. 

he brings his thumb up to press on the wet spot that’s formed on your panties, groaning, “fuck, you’re so wet.” 

“all for you.” 

he replays those words in his head and his patience snaps. tearing your underwear in half, he wastes no time. tongue lapping and the wetness between your legs, like he’s been deprived of any liquid all his life.

you’ve never met someone this desperate to eat you out. or anyone for that matter.

he mumbles against your core, “guide me, please, wan’ you t’feel good, mmh.”

your hands take place in his silky soft roots, gently tugging on the strands. 

through whimpers, you tell him to focus on your clit, and surprisingly (for a virgin), he finds it fairly quickly. 

he briefly sucks on the nub, flicking it with his tongue to soothe it. “fuck, hee” you moan out into the space of his bedroom. 

he groans against your pussy, carefully bringing up his fingers so he can push his tongue into your awaiting hole. the moment he starts fucking you with his tongue, you arch your back and grind into his face, needing more. 

he heard his friends talking about “prep” and “stretching girls out,” so he wonders if you need to be stretched out to take him. you said he was huge, did you mean it? he has no idea, he’s a pathetic virgin who has only shoved his dick into his right hand. not even a pocket pussy or fleshlight. 

to your dismay, he pulls away for a brief second asking if he should use his fingers. “please, i need you to stretch me out, i can’t– take you without prep,” you rush out feeling your high not far away.

“shit, okay baby,” he mutters back before bringing his middle finger up to spread your juices around. 

your hips jerk up when he focuses on your clit, surprised by the stimulation. 

slowly, he pushes his finger in, getting used to the warm sensation of your walls. 

you clench around his thick digit, feeling fuller than when you finger yourself. as he pumps it in and out, you tell him to add another one and he does. 

moaning in relief, you arch into his touch as his tongue finds its way back to your sensitive clit. 

between him lapping like a dog and the feeling of two of his fingers pumping in and out of your tight hole, you feel a familiar band in your stomach building up.

your moans increase and heeseung feels dizzy, taking in all that you give.

he curves his fingers all while sucking on your bundle of nerves, causing you to tip over the edge and that band in your stomach to snap. 

you come crashing down, chanting his name like a mantra as heeseung helps you ride out your high. 

as you lift your head and meet his gaze, he looks more fucked out than you do. hooded eyes, tongue lolled out of his mouth, gaze consumed with lust. you pull him by the collar of his shirt until your lips collide in a mess of tongues and teeth. 

your makeout session unfortunately doesn’t last long as heeseung starts whining into your lips. 

that’s when you realize his cock found your bent knee, not so subtly grinding against it, trying to relieve some of the ache. 

“feeling needy, are we?” you tease, earning a playful roll of the eyes from heeseung. 

pulling back, you drink in his bare torso– he’s always been muscular as he was very popular with the ladies (until he got into bed with them). 

dragging your hand up his chiseled abs, his stomach tenses and his dick twitches. 

you found his second biggest weakness, besides you. his abs. 

deciding to end the teasing there, since you’re also becoming increasingly impatient, you flip him over so you land on top of him with a quiet, “oof.” 

as you settle your bare core on his rock solid cock, you start grinding, placing your hands on his chest for support. 

he can’t hold back the guttural groans spilling from his mouth. not believing you’re really on top of him right now. this isn’t just one of his wet dreams. 

he thought this couldn’t get any better, but when he struggles to get out a weak ask for a condom, you just respond with “no, i’m– on the pill. need to feel you. all of you.” 

and to that, he moans, not believing his ears. 

it’s his first time. and he’s about to have sex with YOU. raw. he thinks he’s dreaming. there’s no way you’re real.

you gently angle his dick towards your awaiting hole, sinking down until his fat tip is inside you.

instantly, you both sigh in relief, starting to feel the pressure ease up. 

if you feel a stretch at his tip entering you, you don’t know how you’re supposed to fit all of him inside you. he’s the biggest you’ve seen and he doesn’t even know it.

your attention is drawn back to the man consuming your brain when he whines. “m-more, please.” he’s becoming needier the longer you stay at just his tip but you don’t know how to tell him you’ve never taken a size like him before.

“hee-heeseung i need a sec, you’re– fuck. so thick,” you say between moans. 

his grip on your hips tightens, a silent way of telling you to take your time. 

when you finally deem yourself ready, you sink lower, wanting to speed it up, bracing the stretch to come. 

you feel him pulsing inside you and that’s all you need to sink all the way down, him bottoming out inside you. 

it’s his first time feeling anything other than his hand wrapped around him, and he whimpers, loud. it’s overstimulating in the best way possible and before he knows it you move up to his tip and bounce back down. his dick twitches and you feel it. every vein, every pulse, every movement, even his heavy breathing. 

heeseung, not in control of his movements, bucks his hips up, making another non-existent inch fit inside your stretched out core. 

you moan soft and loud, eyes rolling back, as the pain turned into pleasure. bouncing faster on his girthy cock, you uncontrollably clench around him, causing heeseung’s grip to tighten. you know it’ll bruise tomorrow, but at the moment, he feels too good for you to care. 

the room smells of sex, and the only sounds that can be heard are skin clapping and your shared noises. 

heeseung must notice your legs becoming tired because before you know it, you’re flat on your back with heeseung on top of you, cock never slipping out from your pussy. 

his large hands grab each of your thighs, pressing them to your chest.

his pace is slow at first, testing the waters, getting a feel for a rhythm. 

as his hands stay pressed to your thighs, he slowly drags out and pushes all of his dick inside you. 

you feel him deeper in this position, a bulge forming in your lower belly. 

when he notices, his eyes stay glued there.

you wonder what he’s looking at but the moment you look down, you’re met with his hand pressing slightly on the bulge causing the loudest moan to leave your lips. 

he signals you to hold your thighs as one of his hands holds himself up and the other focuses on how he can feel his dick inside your guts with every thrust. 

his pace suddenly quickens when you clench hard around him, making his hips stutter briefly. 

endless praises leave his pretty lips, telling you how good you feel, how hot you look laid underneath him, taking whatever he gives you. 

feeling a familiar, yet new sensation building rapidly, you try to warn him that you’re close but somehow, he already knows. “i know baby, let go whenever you want.” he mutters back, feeling just as close to his high.

“fuck– where do you want it?” he rushes out, not wanting to cum inside you if that isn’t what you want. 

but apparently, all the gods are smiling down on him as you release your thighs from the grip you had on them and wrap your legs around his waist. “inside,” you moan. 

and at that, he cums. hard. ropes of his hot, gooey, cum spill inside you. tipping you over the edge.

with a loud groan, clear liquid comes rushing out from you, spraying all over his sheets and lower abdomen. soaking his dick. 

heeseung moans. again. raw and unfiltered at the fact that you just squirted all over him (he’s seen enough porn and heard too many stories from your shared friend group to know what squirting is). 

as you come down from your high, heeseung is somehow still cumming. it spills out of you, creating an even stickier mess on his bed. but he doesn’t care. 

not when you’re beneath him, chest rising rapidly, trying to catch your breath. 

heeseung’s cock is still lodged inside you, holding half of his cum inside you, not wanting it to go to waste. 

as he collapses on top of you, he places a soft kiss on your forehead, holding your trembling body close to his.

you were the first to speak, “i didn’t even know i could do that,” talking about how you squirted all over him. “guess we both had firsts today,” he softly chuckles. 

his breath is warm against your skin, his arm tightening just a little around your waist as if anchoring himself in the moment. you don’t respond right away, too caught up in the quiet thrum of your heartbeat, the lingering warmth between you, the way his fingers begin tracing gentle, absent-minded shapes against your spine.

“i didn’t expect it to be like this,” you murmur, your voice almost lost in the hush of the room.

“like what?” he asks, voice low, like he’s afraid to shatter the calm.

you shift slightly to face him, resting your head more comfortably on his chest. “soft. safe.”

Hheeseung lets out a breath that sounds like relief and something deeper, something reverent. “yeah,” he whispers. “me neither.”

for a while, neither of you say anything. he pulls the blanket higher over both of you, his other hand brushing your hair back with such tenderness that it makes your eyes sting. he presses a kiss to your forehead, lingering like he means it.

“you okay?” he asks, voice still rough from earlier, but softer now, like the edge of him has been smoothed by your touch.

you nod, then glance up at him. “are you?”

heeseung meets your gaze, and something in his expression shifts. vulnerability bleeding through the cracks he used to hide behind. “i am now.”

your heart squeezes.

he licks his lips, nervous. “i’ve been so stupid with you. all this time, i kept pushing and pulling, thinking maybe if i kept it messy, it’d be easier to walk away if i had to.” he pauses, his voice thinning. “but tonight just… made me realize i don’t want to walk away.”

your breath catches. “heeseung…”

“i don’t want this to be a one time thing,” he says, eyes searching yours. “not the sex, not the closeness. i want you. the fights, the tension, the way you drive me crazy and still somehow make me want to be better just by being around you. i’m so in love with you, it hurts.”

your lips part in surprise, and he laughs quietly, self-deprecating and shy. “too much?”

instead of answering, you lean up and kiss him, slow, deep, and full of all the things you couldn’t say until now. when you pull back, you rest your forehead against his, smiling as his thumb brushes over your cheek.

“i’m in love with you too, idiot.”

he grins, wide and a little teary-eyed, and pulls you closer like he’s never letting go.

and you know he won’t have to.

pls reblog & leave feedback <3 hope you enjoyed the read ◡̈

[ @jaeyuniversal ] prod. 250417