✨that’s The Point✨ But In The Meantime I Get Free Shit From Gcpd Cars And Get Stabbed Once A Week

GUESS WHO GOT A (SORT OF) JOB BITCHES

So I’ve recently started volunteering at my local aviary shelter, doing the more maintenance jobs, like cleaning, washing food bowls and toys, changing light bulbs from time to time, fixing broken appliances, re teaching the owner how to use TikTok, things like that. I also help set up our stands and hand out flyers, and get attention to any of our fundraisers, which we sometimes do because other shelters need help. AND NOBODY THOUGHT TO TELL ME, THAT THE PENGUIN COMES IN REGULARLY . So I’m helping clean up for the night, and get asked “hey, can you stay with me a few more hours. Mya (one of our parrots) is sick, and I could use the extra help with whatever might come up, as she’s supposed to be under constant watch.” I get it, I really do, and I was worried about our sweet Mya just as much as they were, and so I agreed. The lights in the front started flickering, so I go up there to check on it/clean up. BUT GUESS WHO THE FUCK I SAW. THE ARCTIC BIRD HIMSELF, AGAIN. I’m confused thinking “are we getting robbed” when he smiles, waves and asks “not surprised you work here! I assume your helping keep an eye on Mya? Where is she?” I’m still a little baffled, so I just point to the back and he thanks me, meanwhile dialup noises are playing in my head as I try to figure out what the FUCK is goin on. So I go into the back and find him helping watch after Mya.

It’s been two hours. We’ve been sitting here talking about birds the whole time, and at some point the riddler showed up to “pick up his boyfriend” and we’ve started talking about the genetic relationship between vultures and storks

I just saw Riddler and Scarecrow making a deal with a bunch of 9th graders that if they all made A’s on there tests today, they would teach them how to hack into the GCPD

Update: GUESS WHAT I LEARNED TODAY (even though I’m in 11th grade)

I just figured out why my gay ass likes goth women.

They’re more confident

Let me explain. Almost every goth/emo boy I have ever met is the whiniest little fucker with the biggest victim complex, and purposely ignores people thinking they actually need help, tries to get them that help, just so they can keep upping the whole “nobody understands me” thing even though there parents are doing everything they can to try.

But almost every goth girl I’ve ever met has been shot down CONSTANTLY, always being told they’re never getting a boyfriend, they’re ugly, so on and so forth. And yet they still have the energy and courage to say “fuck you” crush you under their platform boots, deck you in the face, and reapply their midnight rose lipstick afterwards. They don’t give two FUCKS what you think.

Now obviously there are exceptions, but I’m talking generally speaking.

So in conclusion goth women are generally more confident, and confidence is a very attractive trait. Thank you for coming to my Ted-talk

Thanks for the spam, @jaystellarbirb

Hey Everyone! Sorry for not posting the results Saturday, but here we are!

Two-face. And let me tell you, he was in a BITCHY mood last week

Go to my pinned to see how to fight this

Hey the next time you wanna commit a crime and then talk about it, don’t. Rats have connected words relating to homicide to food, and will not only tell all their friends about it, but the random fucker that can UNDERSTAND THEM

Look I’m not a snitch, but I know about way more than I’d like to. Pigeons are chatterbox’s, stray cats will spill for a decent bowl of food and a warm bed, and raccoons will sell you out for a literal corn chip.

My boss asked me why Red Hood stopped by today, and I didn’t know how to explain without basically asking to be arrested, so Red Hood, if you get a card saying “I’m sorry for your loss” don’t question it there’s an edible arrangements gift card in there

It’s me, ya boi

GOTHAMITES IF YOU SEE THIS YOU HAVE TO MAKE A PICREW OF YOURSELF RN HERES THE LINK https://picrew.me/image_maker/1170750

HERES MINE😎

Hate it when cis people ask unnecessary and invasive questions like "are your experiments ethical?" And "where is that screamimg coming from?"