Latest Posts by jaystellarbirb - Page 4

HELP, WHATS THE NAME OF THAT ONE SONG, I THINK IT’S IN RUSSIAN, AN ANIMATOR MADE AN ANIMATIONMEME WITH IT ABOUT AN OWL DUDE THATS THE GOD OF BURIAL, I CANT REMEMBER THE NAME OF THE SONG

I swear to FUCKING GOD, if I get interrupted during a test ONE MORE TIME by jokers BULLSHIT, THERE WILL BE BLOOD. I HAVE GRADES TO UPHOLD DAMNIT!

So I play lots of video games, and I ENJOY lots of video games. Here’s the problem.

I’m a shit shot. I cannot, for the LIFE of me, aim a virtual gun. Now I still have options. Games that don’t require guns, Minecraft and other creative games, etc.

but once in a while, I like to play games like TF2. But I don’t wanna drag my team down with my bad aim. So what do I do? Healers. I try to be a healer of the team. And can I just say, for someone who just threw a tantrum because the didn’t have the common sense to MOVE OUT THD WAY WHEN YOUR GETTING SHOT AT, y’all be talking mad shit to your healers. NEWS FLASH, we can let you die. We’re nog bound to heal you. We determine whether your dumb ass live or dies. Respect your fucking healers

Kookaburra enjoying itself

I just found out that you don’t have to pay for an ambulance in Europe.

Capitlism is bullshit

Hey Everyone! Sorry for not posting the results Saturday, but here we are!

Two-face. And let me tell you, he was in a BITCHY mood last week

Guys, when I say kaeya carry’s my damn team, I mean that if I didn’t have him, every beefed hilichurl I came across would’ve wreaked my shit a LONG time ago

This goes to the bitch who said “You still have kaeya in your team? What are you poor?”

Lisa: Gay culture is sitting in a chair and immediately finding a way to get your feet off the floor.

Kaeya, with his feet on the table, knowing full well he’s just been called out:

"You dare talk to me like that? Who do you think you are?"

"The person tired of your bullshit."

“You lay your head upon a pillow made from the skin flayed off the bones of your enemies and yet you do not even lose a wink of sleep at night.”

He took a long sip from his juice box and said in calm voice barely concealing the anger within it, “First off, I have insomnia so it’s better to do a fact check before making random assumptions about people barely know, Asshole. ”

I just saw Riddler and Scarecrow making a deal with a bunch of 9th graders that if they all made A’s on there tests today, they would teach them how to hack into the GCPD

Update: GUESS WHAT I LEARNED TODAY (even though I’m in 11th grade)

So, here’s a fun fact.

Riddler will go out of his way to avoid fucking up the school. Hell, he’s ENCOURAGED us to go to school. So it’s really funny when another villain makes us miss school, because he gets really mad. And its always the new people that do it to. I don’t know if I’m making much sense, so here’s what my classmate heard when they got kidnapped:

“Who you got?”

“Some school boy, I don’t know. He’s dressed all nice like, so his parents are probably rich.”

“Nice knowing you.”

“What?”

“Your making this kid miss class.”

“So?”

*Gunshots*

“Ah, that’d be Riddler.”

Our favorite green question mark was really ready to get in a fist fight with GOD over the disruption of this child’s education.

Lady’s, gentlemen and others, I have gathered the votes, and here’s this week’s edition of

“Who’s gonna fuck up public transit the most”

Starting at 10$, we have Two-face. He’s been inactive lately, so it makes sense

At 7$, we have, Surprisingly, Riddler. Then again, school started about two weeks ago, so, you know, tis the season

And at 2$, we have Joker. He’s just been put back in Arkham, so we have a good two days to a week before he starts fucking shit up

That’s it for this week everyone, I’ll post the results on Saturday!

Only in Gotham does Bane escort you and your friends to school when the bus can’t be bothered to show up

Dadwald Headcanons

Especially with all the scenes with little Martin recently, I cannot stop thinking about what an amazing Dad™ Oswald Cobblepot would be (a Murder Dad, I admit, but still). 

Like he hates all children generally but he would love his own Child so much. His mother was loopy but always made sure he was loved and cared for and always stood by him and if you think for a second that Oswald Cobblepot would not do that in turn for his own Child you are fucking wrong.

Oswald Cobblepot is 100% the scary villain who turns to fluff at his Baby’s crayon stick figures. (Basically this ProZD Vine) He would never miss a parent-teacher conference (even though the teacher is dumb and he threatens to murder them once his child isn’t listening).

On “Bring your child to work day” Oswald Cobblepot sits at the head of the table with his baby on his lap and he glares down at all the Crime Lords as a reminder of the long ass “don’t you dare swear in front of my baby” speech he gave them beforehand. Everyone thinks he’s ridiculous because everyone knows these meetings usually talk about murder or something equally gruesome but they obey because if you so much as utter “fuck” in front of Oswald Cobblepot’s Child you will be the murder victim instead.

Oswald Cobblepot would 100% think his child is the most innocent thing to ever lived and try to protect them from the darkness in the world which confuses everyone because he also casually teaches his Baby how to defend themselves with unconventional (read: not necessarily morally, or legally, correct) means. 

Oswald Cobblepot telling his Baby stories about Grandma Gertrude and dressing up in full apron + chef hat to teach them the Family Recipes.

Oswald Cobblepot telling his Baby that they are the most beautiful/handsome, the most clever, and that he knows they will grow up to be a great man/woman.

Oswald Cobblepot singing his child to sleep after a nightmare.

Oswald Cobblepot dressing up his Son in tiny suits and getting up early to do his Daughter’s hair before school.

Oswald Cobblepot making all of his lackeys buy the cookies from his Child’s bake sale for school because it’s a competition between the kids and goddamn it his Baby is going to WIN that 500+ sales lava lamp. 

Oswald Cobblepot standing in Toys R Us trying to find the best toy for his three year old. He can’t decide between the three he’s narrowed it down to so he buys them all. His child buys him a “World’s #1 Dad” mug and Oswald Cobblepot tears up (even though it’s not really the most original gift).

Oswald Cobblepot being a Shotgun Dad™. He tries to spy on his Teenager’s first date by himself but got caught and his baby got mad so now he has an entire loyal Spy Squad employed to secretly protect them.

Oswald Cobblepot would be The Best Dad and I will fight you if you say otherwise.

Only in Gotham does the school baseball team captain set up practice in front of the apartment building of whoever pissed them off this week

Update: currently hiding from the cops in a dumpster. There’s no fucking service in here.