You Know, I've Never Really Thought About Mother Goose Poems In Years (outside Of References To Such),

trying to decide if i'd rather be a tortoise or a turtle. on the one hand I prefer dry land, on the other hand turtles can breathe out of their cloacae so. it's tricky

Picture a vampire who delivers blood bags for the Red Cross. They’re surrounded by living blood bags whenever they leave their truck, and by literal blood bags while on the road. It’s relatively easy to “lose” a bag here and "discard” an “expired” bag there, even easier if expired blood can still be eaten. However, if something unforeseen occurs, they may have to take a little - or a lot - extra. The higher ups don’t like when donated blood goes missing...

And maybe there are the other vampires who try to steal blood bags, impulsive or desperate people who risk outing themselves for food. How would they see the delivery vampire? How would they be seen?

Companies are starting to use drones to deliver blood to hospitals, ever since Zipline launched in Rwanda in 2014. Would this be an opportunity, or an obstacle? On the one hand, it’s even easier to make blood disappear when you’re the only one with records of where it’s going, and you don’t even have to go outside. On the other, the vampire risks getting replaced at their job, and not being able to adapt to drone work quick enough to get the job. After all, once you’ve gotten used to three meals a day, it’s hard to go back to scrounging or hunting for your dinner...

I need this story like I need air.

Actually, I want to see this, but with a toddler or elementary school-aged demon trying its damnedest (pun intended) to act like a real, grown-up Corruptor of Souls, just like Mommy! Bonus points if at least one summoner is genuinely fooled.

in an attempt to summon an "ancient demon," the summoners neglect to account for the fact that demons age at a different rate than humans. hence, they end up accidentally kidnapping a baby

... yeah, that sounds horrible enough to be Hell

meteorologically speaking, Hell’s atmosphere is mostly composed of fire and brimstone, right?

The point of officially naming a pet is not to actually use that name but to have a baseline from which to come up with every conceivable nickname to call them instead.

You're thinking too small. Among Us, the hit new animated series! All the gorn of Happy Tree Friends but with even more merchandising opportunities! Collect all 16 Among Us action figures™

super looking forward to the Among Us movie adaptation

I spent 15 minutes looking up how to pickle bodies, and now that's stuck in my search history. Incidentally, I look forward to your new bog mummy form

in death I wish to be pickled

please Gaud have mercy

meteorologically speaking, Hell’s atmosphere is mostly composed of fire and brimstone, right?

you hear about recovery not being linear (”there are ups and downs”), but actually it’s more like a game of wack-a-mole. this is not a bad thing