Me Whenever US Politics Gets Too Upsetting: I Think It Is Time To Reread Red White And Royal Blue

I am but a a simple person.

I lay on my bed, eating oyster crackers, playing my silly little dragon game, listening to Welcome to Night Vale

Why did no one warn me that making sourdough is so complicated?!

Every recipe and website says something different, and there's somewhere between 5 and 37 steps and it's so time consuming JUST FOR ONE LOAF

I just wanted to make bread

Send help T-T

Everyone needs to calm down when the plane lands. You will get off, don't worry! I know the buckle seatbelt sign turned off, and that makes you very excited, but you don't have to jump up and push your way through the aisle yet. The door hasn't even opened! Wait your turn! Complaining and pushing each other won't make the process go any faster

everyone knows the real reason Orpheus turned around was cos he heard some dramatic ass king of ithaca belting about how “all he hears are screams” and he had to check with Eurydice to see if they heard the same thing

Anybody else sometimes wish that limbs were detachable like lego people so you could just swap them out for new ones?

i want to give my inexistent girlfriend tons of forehead kisses till she falls asleep in my arms

Why can't I have a pretty girl lay her head in my lap whilst we watch a movie so I can play with her hair and randomly bend down to kiss her cheek or shoulder...

You know what needs to stop? Premium subscriptions

I ALREADY HAVE A SUBSCRIPTION, I PAY FOR AN ACCOUNT

GIVE ME THE ACCESS

THAT'S THE WHOLE POINT

Premium subscriptions are Bullshit and entirely exist because of greed and I Hate It

Me: walking through the halls of the hotel, carrying 15 tortillas, 4 shirts, a mostly empty jar of peanut butter, a pair of ripped trousers, a bag of bags, and a skull

Me: wow I hope I don't run into anyone because this would not be easy to explain