You started a scam religion for a quick buck. You begin to panic when your fake god was actually a real forgotten one awakened from new worshippers, declared you it's high priest, and granted you the power of healing.
Rabbit sized Bunnyblade riding a hound into battle. Adversaries laughing until they learn to fear the bunny.
He is three years old and yearns for blood carrots. Philza promises both to him.
Philza gets captured and manages to send a secret distress message. Technoblade comes and beats everyone up, but doesn't kill them. Philza is still caged.
Technoblade demands more carrots before he opens Phil's cage. Phil tells him he doesn't have any on him. Technoblade leaves him there.
Luckily, with his captors wounded, Philza is able to escape on his own. He immediately sets up a "Philza Ransom Fund" which is just an additional fund that Technoblade can only access if he rescues Philza from being captured.
Technoblade starts throwing Philza at enemies in the hope he gets caught so Technoblade can get the Rescue Phil award.
Philza has to then stipulate that Techno can't have the Rescue Fund if its his damn fault Phil got captured in the first place.
Technoblade is unamused.
Losing it at all of this qdsuiqjkljkdqj that's so fucking funny.
Techno is going to have a field day trying to find some sort of loophole of a situation he can put Phil in that is subtle enough it can't be traced to him but also dire enough to make him legible for the Rescue Phil fund.
Don't stop him Phil, this is bunny enrichment!
hc that tubbo is REALLY insecure about his missing eye, so he wears an eyepatch in new l’manberg and absolutely hates it. it’s too big and garish, it rubs up on his wounds all wrong, he hates seeing himself with it. it makes him feel weak. ranboo notices (of course he does) and thinks that tubbo deserves to feel handsome again. they set off after a cabinet meeting to see if ghostbur has any books on prosthetics.
it should be noted that ranboo has no fucking clue what they’re doing. in the weeks after the plans inception, he has amassed over fifty handcrafted glass eyes, of which exactly zero will work. they’re too big, too small, not the right color. he even managed to make one with a rectangular pupil before they thought better of it. it's a shame, too, that was his best one yet. they're tired and frustrated and the eye collection is really starting to creep him out. ranboo considers asking for help.
ranboo remembers the tumultuous political state of new l'manburg.
ranboo thinks this may be a one-man project.
it really shouldn’t be a surprise that tubbo finds out. they've been practically attached at the hip since ranboo joined, and he was never any good at keeping things from tubbo anyway. they're popping over to ranboo's to get supplies for whatever adventure they're going on today, and the little chest labeled SECRET DO NOT OPEN is too full, propped open with dozens of lumpy glass spheres. tubbo notices (of course he does) and gets halfway through a i can't believe you have an eye fetish before he realizes. ranboo thinks it's a bad sign when he goes silent and an even worse one when his eye goes all misty and aw shit he made the president cry.
he's stuttering through an apology when tubbo's one eye meets their two and he asks is this for me? did you make these for me? ranboo nods and tubbo smiles like a kid on christmas, watery and bright. they've missed that smile. before he knows what's happening, tubbo's tackled them into a hug, sending both of them careening to the ground. ranboo vows there and then to give the man anything and everything he desires now and forever, just so he can feel like this again. not a veteran, not a politician, just tubbo, carefree and kind.
yeah, that sounds like a good life.
as quickly as ranboo went down, he's being pulled back up with tubbo insisting that they try every single eye, previous adventure abandoned. they spend the day like that, going through the chest, laughing at some of ranboos earlier attempts, and screaming with excitement when one managed to fit.
he looks beautiful. more confident, brighter, somehow. they burn his eyepatch that night. ranboo had already gotten him a better one anyway.
i think he does this sometimes
aromantic and interested in shipping in much the same way people are interested in superheroes. like man wouldnt it be cool if dating was real. id love to imagine what i would do if dating was real. here's my tierlist of the best kinds of dating. number 4 may surprise you.
Ultimate besties!!! I wanna see Shadow and Tails getting along more they're too cute 😭
this was basically the prison arc right
and here we see the Philza in his natural habitat, trying not to eavesdrop on his best friend's new secret oganization
and here we see the Technoblade in his natural habitat, dragging the Philza inside.
He knows too much. He will be taken care of in the name of the Syndica-
-nope, they're hugging, they're doing forehead bonks, i apologise for the lies, this has taken a wholesome turn. The Philza will live today
mimimimiMirror pronouns | english and spanish | but mostly spanishmultifandom, pero me guio mas por estos:mcyt • unbreakable bond only • cotl
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