Kaanha-ki-barkat - There Is No Charm Equal To Tenderness Of Heart.

The angst is killing meeeee!

I’m going absolutely feral thinking about Crowley’s reaction to the bookshop fire and not being able to find Aziraphale because here’s the thing:

Crowley had absolutely no way of knowing how the fire was started or by who. All he knows is that the bookshop is on fire and Aziraphale is Gone.

Crowley knew hell was after him and it’s not a hard leap for Crowley to think they might have been after Aziraphale as well. So it’s absolutely logical for him to assume that the fire burning down the bookshop is Hellfire. Holy Water for Demons and Hellfire for Angels as we know destroys them completely — no second chances or re-corporations to spare. Crowley sees the bookshop on fire and thinks Aziraphale is destroyed and gone forever.

Secondly, the last call Aziraphale placed before the fire was to Crowley, Crowley was having his own issues yes, but he hung up on Aziraphale moments before the fire began. So for all Crowley knows, Aziraphale could have been calling him for help, for backup, to save him, and Crowley let him down.

So in those hours after in the bar, after the fire: Crowley thinks Aziraphale is gone forever, and that it’s his fault.

ALADDIN (2019) dir. by Guy Ritchie

good omens + richard siken quotes

“and you’re trying to choke down the feeling, and you’re trembling, but he reaches over and touches you like a prayer for which no words exist, and you feel your heart taking root in your body, like you’ve discovered something you don’t have a name for”

The new-TV-GoodOmens fanon tendency to take Aziraphale’s very-soft presentation as unadorned truth is be/amusing to me. 

He was the angel left to guard one of the Gates to Eden and he did in fact have a flaming sword. He is also the one who WOULD have shot Adam, had Madame Tracy not intervened. 

He is also the angel who’s response to “wait I need to get back to Earth to stop Armageddon” is to do something that clearly SCARED THE SHIT out of the other angels who watched him do it, with a malicious-glee-glint in his eye, who hopped disembodied down to earth, and then floated around to try to find the right place. 

He also, well. Fucked around with Heaven at all. There’s such a thread of comic corporate-absurd involved that it can be easy to miss, but what we’re shown is that the hierarchy of Heaven is just as happy as that of Hell to murder, torture, restrain, make captive and otherwise punish its own in the most horrible ways possible and in fact they’re far more effective at it. They just have a lot of Rules they follow, whereas Hell acts on a whim. 

And there’s Aziraphale running around lying to them and pulling the wool over their eyes and so on. Something which, very clearly, none of those other angels are interested in doing. 

Fundamentally Aziraphale is a stone cold agent of divine wroth. 

He just doesn’t want to be. 

He doesn’t like being like that. He doesn’t like suffering, his own or other people’s. All those times Crowley saves him, it’s important to keep in mind that Aziraphale’s in no more fundamental danger than he is when he loses his corporal form in the bookshop fire: if Crowley hadn’t shown up to save him in the church, for example, all that would have happened is that either a) he would have been discorporated and had to wait in line for a new body (or risk being reassigned) or b) Aziraphale would have had to do something Nasty to the Nazis there in order to save himself that trouble. 

He doesn’t like either of those options! Those are both crappy options. But they’re not existential threats. 

I’m the nice one he snaps when Crowley’s too busy having his Moment over his Bentley to take care of dealing with the soldier. 

Aziraphale doesn’t like having to be cruel, or mean, or scary, or stone cold. He doesn’t enjoy it and given the choice he will in fact choose not to be. 

What Crowley saves him from, over and over again, isn’t actually being killed. 

Because what interests Crowley in him, and we see that, all the way back, is that very first instance of Aziraphale choosing not to be that person. That first time when what Aziraphale was supposed to be was Stern and Frightening and Judgemental and Harsh and Terrifying … . and instead he chose to court potential punishment (and actual existential threat) to give the people he was supposed to Terrify a way to protect themselves from all the scary things. 

Aziraphale doesn’t want to be an instrument of judgement and wrath and what Crowley keeps saving him from is having to be. Crowley condemns the bloodthirsty executioner, so that Aziraphale doesn’t have to; blows up the Nazis so Aziraphale doesn’t have to. 

Lets Aziraphale be the nice one, in fact. 

Which I think is frankly far more fucking adorable. 

But never let it make you think that Aziraphale is the safe one, or the helpless one. 

He’s the one who, when faced with the apparent choice between killing a child and the end of the world, chooses to kill the child. Actually chooses to do it - not just plan, not just talk about, not just contemplate, but do it - and is only saved from having done it by sharing the body of someone who won’t let him. 

Aziraphale is soft and slightly silly and gentle and non-confrontational and all of those things because that’s what he wants to be. He has fought for a long time to get to be that. 

This is important. 

why arent they married yet

a helpful tutorial

I was taking with my friend about good omens and we were wondering how the hell aziraphale-as-crowley managed to get into that bath without getting his socks wet and so I drew this ‘helpful’ guide.

I like to imagine that all the demons had to just awkwardly stand around watching him clamber around getting into this bathtub… @neil-gaiman can you confirm?

i ate chef boyardee and began to cry bro that shit was so bad… i had noodles i could have eaten those

On a few occurences in the book, it gets mentionned that Aziraphale has manicured hands, and I’ve been fixating on it ever since. I wrote this small fic focusing on this very detail, hope you guys enjoy !

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Aziraphale, as it was, was not exactly into fashion. However, he did like the idea of expressing one’s personnality through what they were wearing. But, unlike Crowley, he couldn’t bring himself to just change radically every decade. It wasn’t very Aziraphale. The change. Not when it was too drastic, at least. The idea came to him when the first nail salons blossomed in London.

Keep reading

So tonight I joined my parents, and the neighbours, at the local pub quiz. We won, and won the bonus round, much to the annoyance of the other teams. Apparently my parents and their friends win every other week. Nerds. So to prank them the landlord had a special “Super Hard Pub Question” for us for double or nothing on our prize (vouchers for a gallon of beer) to let the rest of the pub feel better because we were “guaranteed to lose” since there was “no way we could know the answer.” I got picked to answer it because I’m the youngest and have less General Knowledge.

The question?

“What is the word for beer in Ancient Egyptian?”

Pub: *loud raucous laughter and cheering*

Landlord: *looks smug*

Me: Do you want that in English or in the original Hieroglyphs?

Landlord: The hieroglyphs of course!

Pub: *more laughter*

Me: *scribbles quickly in the 10 seconds I had to answer*

Landlord: Fuck. Me. 

Pub: *utter silence broken only by someone at the back exclaiming WTF* 

Landlord: How did you even know that?

Me: You picked the one person here who can read them?

Landlord: Oh shit it’s you isn’t it?

Dad yelling from the back: SURPRISEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

It’s safe to say we’re simultaneously fucking legends/not very popular at the local right now.

“Monochrome Across the Centuries: A Lookbook by Anthony Janthony Crowley”

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Reblog, don’t repost!