Bonds Are Burdensome.

“Hiding your hurt only intensifies it. Problems grow in the dark and only become bigger and bigger. But when exposed to the light of truth, they shrink. You are only as sick as your secrets. So take off your mask, stop pretending you’re perfect and walk into freedom.”

— Rick Warren

“Change your conception of yourself and you will automatically change the world in which you live. Do not try to change people; they are only messengers telling you who you are. Revalue yourself and they will confirm the change.”

— Neville Goddard

“Sometimes letting go is the only way to find out who you’re meant to hold on to.”

— J. Sterling, The Perfect Game

"What cannot be said will be wept"

~Sappho

Saying the truth aloud could free me from this burden.Or will it not?

It's all new to me,what I'm feeling does not fall under any of the categories I've explored so far. I've fallen in a deep calm, like a lake without shores.

All I've collected in my life so far surrounds me.

I can't tell its purpose.

It does not feel as if it's trying to drown me,or even coaxing me into drowning myself.

It's distracting and compelling.

A friend told me something which is not far from the truth.The lake promptly absorbed it,and I could not see the end of what its raw form meant to me,not as I would've intended to.

It all weighs heavy on my soul.

I'm transitioning from my self-created alter ago to what I believe is my true self.

Is it hurting?I can't tell.

True pain does not feel as this does.

Maybe I'm not in pain.

It's not an option I can exclude.

Let's wait and see how this longed metamorphosis will take place.

2021/19/01

I find myself opposed to the view of knowledge as a passive copy of reality.

- Jean Piaget 1896-1980

How do we learn things? The answers to this age-old question have been examined and analysed by many scientists. There are plenty of prominent theories explaining cognitive development and helping us to understand the foundation of knowledge.

One of the most prominent answers to the question has come from a Swiss psychologist, Jean Piaget.

The legacy of Jean Piaget to the world of early childhood education is that he fundamentally altered the view of how a child learns. And a teacher, he believed, was more than a transmitter of knowledge she was also an essential observer and guide to helping children build their own knowledge.

As a university graduate, Swiss-born Piaget got a routine job in Paris standardising Binet-Simon IQ tests, where the emphasis was on children getting the right answers. Piaget observed that many children of the same ages gave the same kinds of incorrect answers. What could be learned from this?

Piaget interviewed many hundreds of children and concluded that children who are allowed to make mistakes often go on to discover their errors and correct them, or find new solutions. In this process, children build their own way of learning. From children’s errors, teachers can obtain insights into the child’s view of the world and can tell where guidance is needed. They can provide appropriate materials, ask encouraging questions, and allow the child to construct his own knowledge.

Piaget’s continued interactions with young children became part of his life-long research. After reading about a child who thought that the sun and moon followed him wherever he went, Piaget wanted to find out if all young children had a similar belief. He found that many did indeed believe this. Piaget went on to explore children’s countless “why” questions, such as, “Why is the sun round?” or “Why is grass green?” He concluded that children do not think like adults. Their thought processes have their own distinct order and special logic. Children are not “empty vessels to be filled with knowledge” (as traditional pedagogical theory had it). They are “active builders of knowledge-little scientists who construct their own theories of the world.”

Piaget’s Four Stages of Development

Sensorimotor Stage: Approximately 0 - 2 Infants gain their earliest understanding of the immediate world through their senses and through their own actions, beginning with simple reflexes, such as sucking and grasping.

Preoperational Stage: Approximately 2 - 6 Young children can use symbols for objects, such as numbers to express quantity and words such as mama, doggie, hat and ball to represent real people and objects.

Concrete Operations: Approximately 6 - 11 School-age children can perform concrete mental operations with symbols-using numbers to add or subtract and organizing objects by their qualities, such as size or color.

Formal Operations: Approximately 11 - adult Normally developing early adolescents are able to think and reason abstractly, to solve theoretical problems, and answer hypothetical questions.

Albert Einstein once called Piaget’s discoveries of cognitive development as, “so simple only a genius could have thought of it”. As the above shows, Piaget’s theory was born out of observations of children, especially as they were conducting play. When he was analysing the results of the intelligence test, he noticed that young children provide qualitatively different answers to older children.

This suggested to Piaget that younger children are not dumber, since this would be a quantitative position – an older child is smarter with more experience. Instead, the children simply answered differently because they thought of things differently.

At the heart of Piaget’s theory then is the idea that children are born with a basic mental structure, which provides the structure for future learning and knowledge. He saw development as a progressive reorganisation of these mental processes. This came about due to biological maturation, as well as environmental experience.

We are essentially constructing a world around us in which we try to align things that we already know and what we suddenly discover. Through the process, a child develops knowledge and intelligence, which helps him or her to reason and think independently.

For Piaget his work was never just for a closeted coterie of scholars and researcher but had real world application. Piaget was able to put his work in a wider context of importance. He said, “only education is capable of saving our societies from possible collapse, whether violent, or gradual”. Piaget’s theory centres on the idea that children, as little scientists, need to explore, interact with, and experiment in order to gain the information they need to understand their world.

I need a father. I need a mother. I need some older, wiser being to cry to. I talk to God, but the sky is empty.

Sylvia Plath

The scariest part of a depressive episode isn't crying due to the intense sadness and pain, but when you can't.

Art by Claralieu

05/28/2021

Fear and excitement.

Greatest oxymoron to have ever lived inside of me.

There is such a lack of balance in my soul,emotions seem to be extending their roots further and further in that which is my tangible existence.

A grandiose future awaits me,every cell in my body and every sliver of my being seems to be propelling themselves so as to reach the right spot in time.

It feels preternatural,as if what life made me go through is not anywhere near describable as pain,it is no more than the path i had to go down to in order to achieve my current standing.

I am no more than myself,thus I am all there is to live.

Welcome Me

Lately I’ve found myself… lost.

I mean everyone has been in their own way over the past year and half. Been there, said that. 

But when I feel stuck…or lost..or wandering…it’s not good. Not that it’s great for anyone. I just tend to spiral.

I’m losing touch of what makes me happy and honestly maybe what’s even scarier to me is that I’m losing a sense of what I want. And I don’t mean in life. I’ve never had any answers to that question. But rather whenever I make a decision lately, no matter how small or large, it’s like I’m looking at myself from outside my body. It’s a stranger making that decision. 

Maybe thats imposter syndrome. I’ve heard the term thrown about a few times here and there. But I’m trying to walk away from labeling myself, those around me, and behaviors. I feel like we as a society are teetering on the edge of the toxic thought process: “If we label it, we understand it.” Right now, I’m not caring too much about the diagnosis and more about the symptoms. 

Interestingly enough, I just remembered a take on relationship communication that connects nicely to that thought process. They (@kyleleejenner on tiktok) said that “more often than not, when your girlfriend is sharing a problem with you she’s probably talking about an emotional one….what she is feeling about the problem is actually more important to her than the problem itself. Therefore listening to her feelings will solve the problem. She doesn’t want your practical solutions right now.”

I don’t necessarily care about the label or maybe even to the solutions right now. But I do care that I feel this way. I care that it feels like I’m someone I’m not. I care that I’m worrying about regretting decisions. I care that what I think I’m feeling is not really how I’m feeling. 

I’m hoping writing my feelings will help to acknowledge how I’m feeling or even to discover how I’m truly feeling. Next steps will come later.