Salad Is Born Of Violence

Sam and Prince Frodo rizzing each other up when ever Frodo visits the shire

(Sam definitely offers to move the Erebor to assist in the new horticultural endeavors Bilbo has set up)

My husband is a genius

writing is hard but coming up with a cunty title and catchy summary will slay even god's strongest soldier

Wow I’m literally so sorry

Scary queen 😭

Guys

I watched the first two hobbit movies with my partner but I can’t bring myself to watch the last… in his mind.. everyone is still alive.. and I just can’t… I’m too weak

Bilbo Baggins may be Barrel rider

But I am simply ‘Barrel survivor’

I can not stress that enough that when I was a wee lad I was almost killed by a barrel. I have beef with barrels. Man fuck barrels dude

A little slice of a fic im working on

Post the Battle. It’s a nobody dies/everyone lives, Dw I wouldn’t hurt you all like that.

“How are you feeling, my boy?” Bilbo asked after a drawn out pause.

“Fucking terrible,” Kili groaned, his voice labored and raspy as though he wasn’t getting quit enough air, “Like I've been run over by an oliphant.”

“I'll bet… oh my bravest boys,” Bilbo heaved himself onto the bed edge and wrapped his arms around the raven-haired Durin son, “I was so scared. I thought I had lost all of you. Please don't ever scare me like this again. My heart can't take it, Kili, it really can't.” He wept.

Kili did his best to hug the hobbit to his side, his bruised fingers curling against the back of bilbos coat, the dwarfs somber expression made him look so much like his uncle that Bilbos' heart clenched painfully, and he hiccuped, holding the boy's bruised face in his hands “I am so proud of you” he kissed Kilis forehead.

Kili bumped his forehead against Bilbo’s in response, and they held there, sharing breath for a moment, eyes closed before Bilbo pulled away, gently pushing the boy's hair back out of his face. When Kili's eyes finally opened, they were glassy with tears.

“Please rest, my brave boys.” He reached down and pushed the hair out of Fili's sleeping face. They both suddenly looked so small in his eyes, so wounded and afraid.. it aches Bilbos heart, made his throat painful and tight and his eyes sting.

Kili sunk into the bed with a wince and rested his head against his brothers. Bilbo helped cover them up to their chests with a heavy fur blanket and kissed them again on the forehead, vowing to return as soon as they asked. Kili nodded, closing his eyes

Bilbo: *faffing around with Sting accidentally cuts some of his hair*

thorin:

“Ha!.. awww” <- my very loud reaction

sam, reading bilbo’s book: “well now, i’m sure he had a very nice voice, but that’s hardly a reason to go on an adventure with someone you just met”

sam: turns page to an illustration of thorin, with his dark hair and blue eyes

sam: “understandable, good for you mister bilbo”

That last chapter of SanSûkh almost got be gang. I’m still ugly crying