Do I Contribute Anything To The Rpc? No. Yet I’m Still Here

  sorry for not doing much / being so slow here! i’ve currently got muse for like. five blogs rn so i’ve kinda just been wherever i’ve got the most muse... basically: my brain is everywhere but i’ll reply to stuff eventually!!

edit: OH, re: slav, i’ll be adding him over here at some point, for those interested. he... will probs be the only vld muse there & he’ll be pretty sparse. figured that’s good to add so anyone interested knows what they’re walking into lmao

@grimesucker​:  ( x )

IT’S FINE - dox has spent his OWN time lying on the floor, a handful of various objects floating above him under the influence of his magic - a mushroom, a ball of moss, loose petals from a flower ; like a druidic mobile . the items remain floating even as dox turns attention towards shiro, returned from what was meant to be a simple errand run ;

                     “ s’okay. time is fake. it means nothing to the trees, it means nothing to me.                                                               —were you at the bakery again ?”

  padding across the room, eyes on the objects floating above dox, one of shiro’s ears simply twitches to acknowledge that he’s heard the response. ---THEN a half-second later, the question brings him to a screeching halt, his gaze snapping to dox, looking both STARTLED and perhaps a bit found out.

     ‘ what? --no. ’  the answer is immediate, and shiro internally curses himself for reacting on that denial instinct. it only makes him sound more guilty. in an effort to LESSEN his obviousness, he continues;  ‘ the bakery’s nowhere near where i had to go, why would i... ’

trailing off, allowing the words the HANG in the air like dox’s ball of moss, he realizes it’s no use. dox sees right through him and already knows that yes, he went to stare at the cute bakery boy again. conceding, though not without some embarrassed irritation, the werewolf puffs an exhale through his nose and moves to stand over the prone shaman, DROPPING a bundle of herbs onto his chest.

     ‘ --just take your coltsfoot. ’

on purpose!!! love people on purpose!!! find someone wonderful and love them and tell them it wasn’t an accident, you had a choice, you saw who they were and realized how lovely it would be to love them, and it is!!! i made a good decision! i love you on purpose!!!

grimesucker·.

❝I don’t think you’re as apathetic as you think you are.❞ // @kienokoru·

                                                           just SCREAMS when fifteen tries to bring it up—

@grimesucker​ sent:  [text]: Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a “shady motherfucker.” Can’t argue with that one.

tfln  ☆☆  accepting

[ txt: slum mom ]  you really can’t [ txt: slum mom ]  you’re in a bar in the uc and she picked YOU out of everyone else in that bar [ txt: slum mom ]  i’m not even there and i know that 90% of the crowd is shady looking [ txt: slum mom ]  if someone came up to you specifically to tell you that you look shady, it’s actually impossible to argue

Brandon Sanderson, The Emperor’s Soul

@mekabound​ sent:  “ you’ll be okay somewhere in that vague future tense ” (uc verse? :0)

 cursed suggestion   ☆☆   accepting!!

  at that, he can’t help but snort a weak laugh. it’s not the most REASSURING way to word such a thing, but the fact that it earns amusement might actually make it MORE USEFUL.

     “ i think you need to spend less time with dox, ”  he comments, shifting his position on the couch where they both sit, legs bent at the knees and feet occasionally touching on the middle cushion.  “ you’re starting to SOUND like him. ”

in this case though, shiro doesn’t mind it so much. he minds even less that d.va is HERE, keeping him company on one of the days where his symptoms are flaring up enough that the pain is TOO MUCH for even stand up for long. her company is some which he’s already come to enjoy, but on days like this... the distraction of having another person around helps a LOT.

     “ ‘ that vague future tense, ’ huh, ”  he repeats, tugging on the blanket spread across the both of them in an effort to cover more of himself. there’s no malice whatsoever in his tone as he continues, merely a WRY smile to signify he’s joking, albeit rather darkly;  “ so, the day that everyone in the city GETS ALONG and the barrier is opened? ”

grimesucker​.

TOO LATE, HE’S ALREADY AWAKE. aggravation sees upper-lip CURL, but fifteen should know well-enough that dox’s temper EBBS & FLOWS - he’ll be GROUCHY for some time, but it’s not as though he could actually remain upset with the kids—he KNOWS that he’s, well, their SOLE SOURCE OF COMFORT - if one of them has something that demands they rouse him at UNFUCKLY HOURS, than he’ll get over it & tend to their bullshit. he’s all they got.

                                                                       “ nah, c’mon kid. ”

pushing himself from frankly derelict mattress, dox adjusts into a sitting position & beckons fifteen back over.

                                    “ i’ll be MORE pissed if it ends up bein’ for nothin’.                                                                             what’s goin’ on ?”

  there’s HESITATION, even as dox gestures for him to come back, and shiro simply remains paused in place for a long moment. he really does hate waking dox, and not JUST because it’s rude and the mender gets crabby, but... well, he’s almost an adult. he shouldn’t be waking his effective CARETAKER up in the middle of the night like he’s six.

     “ it’s fine, it’s not... ”  trailing off before finishing the sentence, the boy exhales and shuffles back into dox’s doorway, hand gripping at what remains of his right arm.  “ ...my arm just hurts. ”

something which sounds small and not worth waking someone for, except that with SHIRO... if he feels the need to tell someone that something hurts, it means that it really hurts. used to being in pain more often than he’s not, he won’t bother anyone about it until he’s about in AGONY. tonight, he’s been unable to sleep due to the pain, even having to remove his prosthetic in an effort to ease it.

     “ i can’t get to sleep. ”

collection of prompts  /  starter sentences taken from the  cursedsuggestion  blog 

“ tell me we’ll be safe at least for a little while ” “ no one can hear you and no one can help you ” “ ruin my life and never leave me ” “ haunt me , fucker ” “ leap off the precipice before anyone can shove you ” “ now you know how i feel about you ” “ think of me when you want to come home ” “ you made your choice so live with it ” “ don’t look back on it ” “ family does not guarantee safety ” “ you were an adult for most of your childhood ” “ you’ll be okay somewhere in that vague future tense ” “ what i’m saying is what happened was fucked up ” “ you’re crushed under the spine bending weight of yourself ” “ you fell in love with yourself and projected it onto me ” “ i’m the one with the power this time ” “ i bite off more than i can chew ” “ you ruined your own self ” “ i never say the right things ” “ you didn’t outgrow your misery  ,  you grew into it ” “ i look after me and mine ” “ we’re twin souls ” “ you molded me into something terrible ” “ i’m too rigid to bend back ” “ no one’s coming to fix you  ;  put yourself back together ” “ i’m not even a real person ” “ you don’t love  ,  you just devour what i give ” “ why do you expect others to treat you better than you treat yourself ? ” “ you should try to be you ” “ sometimes fixing something is stopping it from breaking further ” “ you don’t say what you mean  ,  just what sounds good ” “ all you do is watch ” “ i’m a bad habit with a bad attitude ” “ everything you are shown has a purpose ” “ someone else wears your face ” “ my soul is a bit fucked up ” “ i’ll burn the sheets when you go ” “ there is no god that i can see ” “ love isn’t an excuse ” “ scream into the universe until it screams back ” “ i wanted you to stay ” “ the past is with you  ,  for better or worse ” “ this hate keeps me warm in the winter ” “ i’m a wrong number ”

grimesucker‌.

MOST PEOPLE wouldn’t have such a TOUGH TIME picking a weapon - a lot of people came in already with an idea of their FAVORED TYPE - something SHARP ? something BLUNT ? something HEAVY ? —but dox supposes there’d never really been much fantasizing towards PERSONAL COMBAT MECHANICS during fifteen’s time up on MED-LEV. lot less CRIME, lot more KUMBAYA. 

…& in all honesty , he’s pretty surprised he got the kid to AGREE to come weapons shopping—DON’T GET IT WRONG, he’s GLAD that there wasn’t any HEEL-DIGGING, he’d just been prepared with a whole SPEECH that now he feels STUPID for rehearsing over & over in his head.

—though he doesn’t feel this way for LONG, self-criticism making way for something like PRIDE as fifteen’s attention seems caught by a KNIFE - dox’s own favorite type of weapon , & he wonders if fifteen’s into it for the TACTICAL benefits , or because he’s seen dox’s own proficiency & thought it NEAT .

        …most likely the former , but the grimesucker still awards himself a ‘ 6 ′ .

                                                            “ nice choice. ”

praise given sincerely , dox more than a little SMUG in the face of any option taken that involves BLADES— a nod towards cipher, who recites ‘450 counts,’ these of which dox passes off with a quick transaction between cipher’s collection device & his online drive ; during which they make remark, ‘ corrupting the kids again?’ to which dox responds with a shrug , ‘ i’m only equipping them to better handle it. ’

—with purchase made cipher passes over a nylon of which fifteen may attach to his person, the knife nestled neatly inside. as dox loops an arm around the kid’s shoulder & steers him away, cipher bids farewell with ring-adorned fingers waving goodbye in disconnected intervals. half-joking , dox grins in fifteen’s direction—

                                                      “ wanna get some PRACTICE in ?”

  with the knife, neatly sheathed, handed to him, shiro grips it in his hands and continues to eye it with some degree of WARINESS. this is his now. this is something he has to keep on his person at all times. while he may have been living in the undercity for a number of MONTHS now, it’s still difficult for him to grasp just how likely it is to wind up in a violent and dangerous situation at any time of any day. 

giving a slight start when dox’s arm wraps over his shoulders, the boy blinks and PULLS his attention away from the weapon. allowing himself to be steered away, eyebrows raise skeptically at dox’s prompt.

“ that seems UNSAFE, ”  he notes, frowning slightly. yeah, he’s going to have to learn how to fight with the knife SOMEHOW, but armed practice just seems like it’d be asking for unnecessary injury. ---dox’s healing abilities aside, shiro doesn’t want to harm him, and he’d really like to avoid a knife piercing his own skin. he’s still recovering mentally from the first time he experienced that.

     “ maybe some hand-to-hand instead? ”