Confession: I Have A Friend Who Likes To Text Me At Like 4am When He’s Had Nightmares Or He Can’t

Shen Qingqiu: Hey Airplane, stupid question, but mpreg doesn't exist in PIDW, right?

Shang Qinghua: ...

Shen Qingqiu: RIGHT?!

Shang Qinghua: Nah, I don't believe so

Shen Qingqiu, wiping his forehead: Phew, you had me for a moment there

A Week Later

Mu Qingfang: You are pregnant

Shen Qingqiu, stewing in rage: This is all Shang Qinghua's fault!

Mu Qingfang: ...Shang-Shixiong got you pregnant?

would you like a nice glass of

HC—Luo Binghe looks almost identical to Airplane Shooting Towards the Sky. (basically Airplane is hot but doesn’t realize it.)

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Shen Yuan woke up back in modern China after spending sixty years in PIDW, so, of course, the first thing he did was message Airplane.

(That’s actually the second… third?…thing he did. The first was trying reach out to the system. The second was crying.) ((But if Shen Yuan were asked why he was crying he’d scoff. Tears? No way! His eyes were just dry.))

Anyway, he reached out to Shang Qinghua—who, by the grace of God, came back with him—and found out that they both lived in Hong Kong. And not only that, but in the same neighborhood! Which was insane, but also very lucky. Maybe even too lucky? The universe never usually helped them out. Maybe this kindness of them being so near each other was an apology from The System? Whatever it was, it was best not to look a gift horse in the mouth.

The two agreed to meet on a Saturday, when Shen Yuan didn’t have school (being back as a senior in high school sucked).

Here’s the thing, Shang Qinghua sent a long winded text as a warning about how he looked very different. Which…fair. Everyone in PIDW was gorgeous, and people in the real world were not like that.

They agreed to meet at a café. Shen Yuan had sent Shang Qinghua a selfie so the man knew who to look for. It was a decent selfie, one Shen Yuan may have spent too much time on. It was a mirror selfie, showing off a nice outfit and Shen Yuan throwing up a peace sign. The photo showed an older teenager, with black hair that fell to his shoulders, large black eyes, and a silly smile. (He sent the picture to his mom too.) ((Seeing his family again was a whole other story better never to be told. There were a lot of tears and hugs on Shen Yuan’s part. It was a little embarrassing.))

Shen Yuan had gotten to the café early, snagging a corner table and waited with two iced lattes. He watched people out of the window. The streets were busy with both pedestrians and cars, there were delivery bicyclists and people carrying shopping bags. It was crowded. And loud. And dirty.

Being back was weird.

But, having indoor air conditioning was nice. And the internet! Oh God, he’d sell his kidney for the internet back home.

He blinked his eyes, his contacts felt harsh against them. Years without needing them made him forget what they were like. He should’ve worn his glasses, but had honestly forgotten where he put them. Maybe he should buy another pair? It wasn’t like he lacked the funds and he wasn’t sure how long he’d be in the modern world.

It was the chair across from him scrapping across the wooden floor that startled Shen Yuan back into focus.

His phone told him that Airplane was five minutes late.

“About time you showed u—Binghe?” Shen Yuan gapped.

“Close-ish?” Shang Qinghua flushed and adjusted his black framed glasses. His curly hair was kept in an undercut, he had pierced ears and a lip piercing and a sleeve tattoo on his right arm. He had freckles, dimples, and a 5 o’clock shadow too. Which. What? Okay. “Hi.”

That was Shen Yuan’s husbands face looking back at him! Sure, the eyes were black and there was no demon mark, but he intimately knew that face.

“Qinghua?!” Shen Yuan wheezed his name, his heart doing weird things in his chest at the fucking shock. “You look…you’re nearly identical to…”

“Yeah,” Shang Qinghua sighed, “imagine how surprised I was the first time I saw Binghe. The system stole my face!”

The voice was the same as Luo Binghe’s, even though the pitch was a little different.

And the body. Because…Shang Qinghua was tall? And muscular? And he was mother fucking LUO BINGHE.

“What the fuck?” Shen Yuan stared.

Shang Qinghua sighed as he grabbed his iced latte. His nails were painted black.

“My brain can’t—” comprehend this. Shen Yuan’s mind was static. Error 404 bounced around in his brain.

Was this some sick joke? Did The System do this? Was he really back in the bamboo house resting in bed and having a weird as fuck dream?!

“Wanna take this somewhere else?” Shang Qinghua asked, his eyes darted around the establishment uncomfortably. People were staring. At him. Because he was fucking gorgeous.

Shen Yuan had So. Many. Questions.

“Is it as bad as your office at An Ding?” Shen Yuan asked, his lips curled disdain.

Shang Qinghua huffed a soft sound of amusement. “Where do you think Binghe gets his clean freak mentality from?”

“Wait,” Shen Yuan stood up when Shang Qinghua did. “When you said you wrote a self-insert, you didn’t mean Shang Qinghua??? You meant Luo Binghe?!”

“Well, yeah, bro.” It was surreal to hear the word ‘bro’ come out of that mouth. “Binghe is all the good, bad and ugly of me, amped up to eleven. Well…with bad at a fifteen.”

“Wait, what?” The hamster in Shen Yuan’s wheel of a brain began to run faster as thoughts began to practically explode. But there was one that was louder than any of the other:

Did this mean that Shen Yuan basically married Shang Qinghua?!

Tumblr users will see a post mentioning a day if the week and just fucking black out and reblog it

STANFORD COULD NEVERRRR!!!!!

Au where when Saiki was younger, he sometimes ran into Aren's mom injured and helped her out, and he became something like an unofficial medic to her and her little group. Sometimes when Saiki was patching her up, she would vaguely talk about her kid around his age and stuff. Well, she wouldn't mention Aren by name or talk about him out loud but Saiki just reads her thoughts and so he vaguely knows about her little Hoodlum but then she and her gang moved and Saiki being a little too good at Rock Paper Scissors happened and so they got separated and drifted apart.

Only for some odd years later (Like, four or five) and Aren transfers into Saiki's class with his whole trying to be a normie spiel and how he is totally not gonna be a punk anymore. Aren doesn't really look like his parents (In the same way of how Kusuo and Kusuke don't really look like Kurumi) so Saiki doesn't really suspect anything- and neither does Aren, and they carry on. Imagine a similar situation as the street magician Chouno Uryoku and how his ex-wife did not look anything like how the dude thought of her.

Saiki never really got out of his Street Medic habits and Aren sometimes coming to school with some scrapes from gangsters either trying to pick a fight or drag him back into his past only exacerbates Saiki's medic habits. Like, he always used to carry bandages and alcohol wipes and antibiotic ointment, but had talked to just carrying bandages because a whole medkit had been annoying to carry and needless for an esper like him. Though, he had started carrying a bit more for Kaidou and Hairo when they become closer. (Saiki adds the antibiotic ointment back into his repertoire for Aren)

When they gets close enough and Aren invites them to his house is when the fun really starts. Kaidou and Nendo find Aren's baby album and look through it and everything. But Saiki spots a smaller album on the book shelf and is thinking "Better not show too many of these family albums to those two, who knows what we might see" trying not to think about the album collections documenting his parent's dates and stuff.

And when Aren comes back into the room the four are just vibing and hanging out, Aren even bought out some Coffee jelly as an offering thank you for coming ya introverted bean. So, even Saiki is in a pretty good mood. And then they hear the front door open and close with shuffling and stuff with a 'We're home, Hoodlum!' and Aren going to greet his parents like the totally good kid he is, and Saiki is like "??? That voice sounds kinda familar."

And whadduya know!

When Aren's mom turns around from putting stuff in the fridge, Saiki instanting recognizes her and its the same lady he helped all those years ago! I imagine its not a big dramatic moment but there is a "What a surprise" moment. And she's just like "Haha! Little Medic, you're friends with my brat, what a small world! I hope he's treating you and his other friends right."

And Aren is standing there after trying to introduce his friends like "What." Kaidou says "You know Saiki???? But he never leaves his house!" But Nendou is the one to be like "Wow, Aren's Mom, how do you know my buddy?"'

To which Aren's Mom says briefly that Saiki used to get discounts from the stores near her hangouts (Rough part of town, but great prices for stingy child espers) and how he used to help her and some of her girls. Aren is over here dumbfounded, and Kaidou is just like, "wouldn't he have been like, six, a decade ago??" That Saiki pointedly does not confirm.

But Saiki and Aren's mom are over here just casually talking while all the other teenagers are standing there, bewildered. Like, Aren is over here being like "Hold on, I thought Saiki was a goody-goody, He knows my mom?!?" Meanwhile:

Aren's Mom: How's that brother of yours?

Saiki: Moved to Britain and is still a sore loser.

Aren's Mom: Haha, good to know he's not bothering ya! So, how's my little hoodlum doing in class? Not being a brat is he?

Saiki in a true show of open candidness: If he was a bother, he wouldn't still be in my class.

And Kaidou and Aren are nearly shitting their pants from this being like "SAIKI?????" with it just completely flying over Nendo's head.

Then, the rest of the hang out is Aren's Mom sharing stories of tiny Aren while Saiki is eating more Coffee Jelly

To be fair, it doesn’t on automatics scream ‘actually evil’ but more ‘reclaiming being called evil to fwt’ yknow?

Magneto: Are you interested in joining my team of mutants fighting for the end of mutant oppression? :)

A mutant: sure what’s it called?

Magneto: the brotherhood of evil mutants

Mutant: w

Mutant: why’s it called that

yjh who does audio porn to pay the bills and kdj who listens to it to fall asleep. kdj genuinely does not get off to it and he's so embarrassed that this is what he's found to help him sleep. literally nothing else helps and he's been advised to stop taking sleep medication because he was told he’s gonna just build up tolerance and dependency and making him worse

yjh started out trying to do non sexual voiceovers and readings at first, but his viewers kept encouraging him to do more and more sexual ones - and since it was more popular and paid the bills better - it became yjh’s main thing. at first yjh was really uncomfortable at having to do this, he was awkward every recording session and had to focus hard to keep the mood, but these days he's so desensitized he’s playing a game on the side while recording. he has outtakes where he was saying something and interrupts himself to curse about his game, and it comes out somehow that he plays games while doing it so the top tier gets to know what game he’s playing as an extra note underneath

when kdj somehow meets yjh, he wants to pass away but has to pretend everything is fine (he uses his super power of disassociation to get through it).

hsy: so do you get hard listening to him talk lmao

kdj, head in hands: no i just get sleepy :C

yjh thinking that kdj finds him really boring cause he keeps having to fight off sleep every time they interact.

kdj is the only one who wants normal readings (after they get together yjh recording himself reading kdj's favorite webnovel for him to fall asleep to). idk how audio porn and readings work but yjh has some sort of subscription service for fans and kdj is in the top tier. the highest tier there’s a chance that you can request something from yjh to read or (voice)act out, and kdj gets the chance and just requests some fantasy book (maybe once they know each other and yjh learns that kdj likes this book, and the original request stuck in yjh’s mind because it didn’t have anything dirty in it at all, just fantasy with heavy world building)

ehehehe been having thoughts about an au.....