Ned: How Come Humans Don’t Lick To Show Affection?

Nah. I cut my own fringe blind and cut my fingernail in a pencil sharpener

reblog if u too have shaved off your eyebrows bc u were like 12 and deficient in impulse control

Bucky: Nice hands, Nat.

Nat: Thanks?

Bucky: But they'd look better around my-

Sam: BIBLE! WRAPPED AROUND THE BIBLE! PRAISE RHE LORD JESUS! AMEN!

Tony: It fits -_-

Tony: Guys, I’m stuck on a word

Harley: What is it?

Tony: Another word for bottom, 5 letters.

Harley: Peter.

Peter: Wait-

I carry around a lot of random stuff.

Levy, DMing: You lose your balance and fall backwards. As you land, you hear something in your bag break.

Gajeel, remembering he had four jars of live bees in his bag: Oh no.

Please reblog this if fanfiction has been beneficial to your mental health.

Todoroki: I’m pretty sure you broke the hero code as well

Iida: Wait! We can't break school rules!

Midoriya: Iida, we've broken the law.

Loki: I’m like a candle.

Thor: In what way?

Loki: I’ll burn your house down if you leave me alone.

Thor: Again, that’s called arson. It’s illegal.

Loki: Name a more iconic duo than my fear of abandonment and instinct to self isolate.

Loki: I’ll wait.

Thor: You and me.

Loki: *tearing up* a-alright.

Alternatively

Loki (female): I like men how I like emotions

Thor:...how?

Loki: Buried

Thor: Pretty sure that’s called murder. It’s illegal

Loki: Only if they find the bodies

Loki (currently female): I like my men how I like my emotions

Thor: ...how?

Loki with a grin: Buried deep inside me

Thor: *sighs* I really should have seen that coming

Oof