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PENN BADGLEY as JOE GOLDBERG YOU | Season 4

Penn Badgley as Joe Goldberg in YOU (2018- )

✧ PENN BADGLEY as Joe Goldberg in YOU Season 4 Date Announcement \ Netflix

PENN BADGLEY 📷 ICON Magazine

renfarber​:

Ren smiled as her face was peppered with kisses, the fear abating for now. All she felt was safe and warm and happy, and she traced her fingers along his arm, as if to remind herself he was really here. “Good morning,” she whispered, “Just making sure you didn’t sneak off in the night,” she smirked, as though she hadn’t actually been afraid of that. She repositioned herself a bit, a sleepy little hum escaping her as her leg wrapped around his and she gave him a soft kiss. “I called in to work. I need a day to recover.”

-

“Morning,” he replied with a lower tember, a crack rolling in his throat. His body so tired that even if vocal cords were spent. He peeked at her, her angelic face shining right at him in the light shining through the curtains. He fought hard to keep his gaze steady as he stopped kissing her face. He hadn’t intended to wake up now, but she was awake and smirking up at him. He’d gather all strength to see the way she was looking at him now. It made him feel like the sun. He propped himself up to hover over her with more stability. “I can’t sneak off while inside you.” He said with a knowing smirk of his own which ended up growing into a unabashed smile. "You need a day to recover?” He questioned as he returned her kiss. He pulled away wanting to hear her repeat it. Leo looked down at himself with a little nod, giving his lower half silent praise to affect her mobility skills. “Does that mean round twelve then? Or is it thirteen?” He asked so smug and proud of himself as he skated his fingertips on her bare arm. 

PENN BADGLEY as Joe Goldberg Will Bettelheim You | 2.01 A Fresh Start

blakemadden​:

Humming to herself as she dropped tea bags into the two mugs she’d gotten out for herself and Leo to have tea in, Blake glanced over at where the man stood holding his daughter. He was a natural actually, which some might find surprising considering how he’d reacted to becoming a father and the way their daughter had come to be, but as time passed the woman was coming to understand it wasn’t that shocking at all. Leo doted on the baby and had since she was born three months ago, which filled her mother’s heart everytime she watched it. Pausing for a second with a soft smile playing on her lips, only snapped out of it when the kettle clicked signalling the water had boiled, bringing her attention back to the task at hand. She was in the process of pouring boiling hot water into the second mug when the man’s question was asked, making her almost drop the kettle. “I…what…?” Blake faltered as she set it down on the counter to save herself from danger, hand still gripping the handle, not daring to turn around. “What … why does that matter?”

-

Leo watched as Blake froze in place, and he couldn’t help but laugh. It was amusing to him just how doe like Blake still managed to be even though he had met the lustful ridden woman she was inside.“I was just curious,” He said as if it was an obvious reason to ask a question, albeit much too casually. His fire chaotic sign was flaming ever since the passing of his thirty-fourth birthday. “Because Mira’s three months now.” He said bringing his attention to the now sleeping baby girl, he held with just one arm. Mira was now sporting such a full belly now that was covered by a duck onesie. She was denser and no longer felt like the tiny newborn he had met on that fateful day. She was now an infant. He had settled her down slowly in her bassinet for a nap. “That means you should be fine now right? Come on, it’s not an awkward thing to talk to me about.” He encouraged before he moved to sit at a seat nearest to Blake. As soon as he said those words, he heard them, and realized he was asking her to be open with her sex life while he was keeping his closed. But he brushed it off and continued on with his charade. “Spill some tea.” 

closed starter for: @blakemadden​ where: at Blake’s apartment  when: around six in the evening

Leo knew he had to keep last night a secret. He didn’t know why or how, it was just so blatantly obvious to him that he couldn’t tell a soul about what he had done. It was another tally mark to list of things he should feel shameful about. But the thing is, Leo felt like last night was the right thing to do. Every moment of it was perfectly placed. But now as he stood in the apartment of his baby mama while still donning his wedding ring, with his mind completely wrapped around Ren’s body... maybe there was some guilt he should immit. But he couldn’t find any, not while Blake was happy with Beau which was still much to Leo’s dismay. He didn’t like that his daughter had another man in her life that wasn’t him, but there wasn’t anything he could do. Realizing that he had been staring at the same spot on the ground this whole time, he decided to perk up with a question, “So have you had sex yet?” He blurted out.

renfarber​:

who: @le0davis​ where: ren’s apartment, early morning

They’d still been awake when the sun rose this morning. Ren had no idea how long ago that was now. Just after Leo had fallen asleep, she’d texted her boss to say she wasn’t coming in today, and then she’d joined him, sharing her pillow as they slept together - literally, this time. The sun was peeking in now, through the gaps in the curtains, making the remnants of sweat glimmer on their skin. She could feel his breath on her forehead. She wanted to stay here forever. Even if a tiny voice in the back of her head kept telling her that he’d leave, now that he’d got what he wanted from her.

-

“Serenity,” he murmured, his eyes barely opening up a squint before shutting again. His eyelids were heavy from the lack of sleep. He had really exhausted himself. Every single one of his muscles had tensed and relaxed repeatedly throughout the duration of their night together. He couldn’t believe the night to be true even as he was laying on her bed with her scent engulfing him with her skin upon his. He opened his eyes fighting against the fatigue to glance down and see that her eyes were already open. He shut his own again but in favor of losing a sense in order to focus on the way her skin felt on his lips as he kissed her forehead a couple of times. “Why are you up? What time is it?” He asked inbetween peppering kisses.

renfarber​:

She couldn’t help it - she was moved by some otherworldly force that was probably just the ghost of who she’d been nine years ago; some version of herself that existed now as nothing more than a feeling in her gut made her reach out to take Leo’s hand. She was barely aware of her thumbs on his palm as she listened to him speak, but that made sense; it was a motion she’d done so many times when they were together that she could literally do it in her sleep. Whenever he felt tense, she’d reach for him in some small way, like this, and he would unravel just a bit.

He looked up at her, eyes locked on hers, and he told her he wasn’t a good guy. As though that was supposed to be news to her. As though that might put some wall up between them, like she might run from whatever monster he considered himself to be. But she’d always known him - for a thousand lifetimes - and she wasn’t about to run now. 

“Okay, so you’re a fuck-up,” she smirked, with a soft shrug of her shoulders, “so am I. We always have been. You fucked around and you hurt people but you got a daughter out of it. And all of my mistakes resulted in Max. It doesn’t make up for any of the pain we’ve caused, but… good things come from bad things all the time.”

It was only then that she noticed she was holding his hand. She didn’t let go.

“…I punished myself for about eight years for what I did to you. I didn’t think I deserved happiness so I kicked it in the face whenever it came too close. I only stopped because I got pregnant and my focus shifted, and I just… I don’t want you to waste your life like that. I don’t want you to punish yourself. I want… I don’t know what would make you happy, but I think you should go after it. I think you should let it in.”

-

Unlike Ren, Leo was completely aware of her fingertips touching his skin. His hand even threatened to shake as her hold on him had became more confident and firmer. It was like he had completely forgotten what he was upset about or if he was even upset at all. He even set his glass down without taking a sip he had meant to take. His entire mind became wrapped around the fact that she was touching him. How did she manage to do this to him? Create peace in a mind that was plagued with demons? Even her words had made him feel better. Mira and Max were the best things to ever come out of their unique paths. Even if unexpected, Leo couldn’t see it any differently now.

But Leo was confused by her advice. Because instead of advice that would keep him from going with his reckless instincts; they were encouraging them. And with that justification, he was let loose. “I know what would make me happy right now, and I want to go after it.” He said so sure of what he wanted and who he wanted to let in. He swallowed nervously, and his eyes stole a glance at her full pink lips, “It’s you - and your kiss.” He confessed, his eyes determined to hold her gaze as he said this. His free hand abandoned his chilled glass in favor of cupping the side of her neck and his thumb caressed her jawline. His hand in hers hand shifted so their fingers became intertwined. At that same moment, he had leaned in closing that silly amount of space Ren had wanted between them. He didn’t waste another second to fully press his lips upon hers. His eyes instantly closed as he relished in their softness, an explicit sound emitted from the back of his throat. The truth they were alone tonight hung in the air. No children or another person would be able to part them for hours. The kiss could become so much more. And of course, he had the desire of it being much more than a kiss. It made him part his lips to suck on her bottom one to ask for entrance so he could fully taste her. The hand on her neck became more possessive, clutching with the want to bring her closer.

blakemadden​:

Blake settled the baby next to her father on the blanket, knowing Leo would want to spend some time with his daughter. For all the man’s downfalls there was one thing she was sure of and that was that he was a very dedicated father. He loved Mira just as much as she did, and for that the woman was beyond grateful. The little girl was always safe with him. “She likes that umbrella, look at how wide her little eyes are.” The brunette grinned as she joined the two of them, turning onto her side as well so she could look at both Leo and Mira, this was turning in a weirdly surreal but perfect day at the beach if you asked her. “Please don’t call her spawn, it makes me think of like…tadpoles or something. It’s so strange.” She giggled, rolling onto her back as she covered her face with both hands, shaking her head. Made sense that the man would want to go to some of the less tame parts of Pride too, it was Blake’s personal choice not to and she knew that. “Oooh that sounds dangerous. Uncle Xav and daddy together at the same party? We should stay away from there baby girl because it’s going to get crazy…” she stage whispered in her own sing song voice, knowing full well the man would be able to hear it as she grinned.

-

Leo laughed, hanging his head back for a second before relaxing it back on his hand. “Tadpoles,” he repeated with a little scoff, shaking his head. He had forgotten how silly Blake could be. The new mother had been so stressed and at often anxious. It was good to see her in the sun and bringing up tadpoles. The slyest grin grew upon Leo’s lips as Blake told Mira what his plans were. Leo was now a father, but he wasn’t going to let that change his ways entirely. Just like his marriage was unable to cage him. But laying on a beach and hiding from the rays with his daughter and her mother was tamer than he’d ever been at Pride. He had been a regular ally to the event even since before meeting Xavier. His best friend just opened the door to the even wilder side. “Buckwild is the threshold for this year’s Pride. Are you and my spawn going to be out here all day?” Leo asked, smiling as he held back a laugh. He was clearly amused with himself and his new word for his little girl. He couldn’t help but chuckle as he rephrased his question out of feeling some guilt. “Okay, okay, are you and Mira going to be out here all day? Cause if so, I could get you food before I grab Xav later.” 

If you could hook-up with anyone, with no strings attached, who would it be?

"Oh, there's always going to be strings..."

Definitely Leo.

@le0davis

Seven Psychopaths (2012), dir. Martin McDonagh

renfarber​:

“I don’t know,” she said honestly. There was no why. There was no reason. She’d had nine years to think of it (and many nights therein during which she thought of nothing else), and a couple of therapists thrown in, and all she’d learned was that she’d been scared. Of love, of being loved, of failure, of success… she’d just been terrified and overwhelmed by of all of it. 

“We were so young, Leo. And everyone was telling us that we couldn’t possibly be as sure about each other as we said we were. But I was sure. Even looking back now, I don’t see myself as some stupid kid who didn’t know what love was. I knew what it was, because we had it. It was real, and that was scary. I’ve never seen love work out well for anyone, so I guess I just… fucked it up. I wish I hadn’t.”

She winced slightly at his last words, as though physically struck by them, and was quiet for a moment. “I didn’t… decide to hurt you, that was never what I wanted. I know that I did, though, and I haven’t forgiven myself, so I can’t expect you to forgive me either. But… even if you hate me, we need to try to get along, right?”

-

He was completely enthralled by hearing the story of them from her perspective. Again an insight he never expected to have. She spoke of their love like some tangible and strong element. He had felt the same way. He was so sure of their love because he had been raised without it. Nothing had ever felt so potent or as sweet as his first taste of love with Serenity. He tried. Leo actively tried to fall in love like that again. He looked for the little things that made up Ren in other people. Vihana was actually someone he hadn’t expected. She was beautiful, kind, and took care of him. It was easy and simple because he never really was himself. Even now, she had no idea who he was. 

He groaned with a roll of his eyes. It wasn’t directed towards her. It was energy that he needed to push out. The whole situation they were in now compared to where they were years or even months ago was nothing like he had ever fantasized. He didn’t have the right to be tired of the ride that dipped and derailed from his choices. But he was. There was never a break unless he had numbed himself with his vices. He brought his elbows up on the table, he held his hands together and proceeded to tap his forehead on them. “Serenity,” he said, his eyes closed as he rested on his hands. “I don’t hate you. I can’t ever hate you. I just hate what you did. But I can’t exactly talk now, can I?” He questioned, lifting his head up to look at her once again. “I didn’t exactly get into the situation I am in now by being a good guy.” He said with the glint of calmed chaos in his dark eyes. He didn’t where his mood was going. The alcohol made his veins sting and his attention jump around. Though the weight of his problems just kept trying to follow behind him. He grabbed his glass again to get rid of it. “I’ll play nice if you will.” He said swirling the remaining contents in his glass.

leonardo anthony davis - playlist #1 - (spotify playlist link) ​

gasoline (the weeknd) - the only thing I understand is zero-sum of tenderness / late night feelings (mark ronson w/ lykke li) - my heart keeps pulling in the wrong direction, i’m about to cross that line / side effects  (the chainsmokers ft. emily warren) - this happens everytime i try to mix decision making with one too many drinks / nda (billie eilish) - i can crave you but you don’t need to know  / stranger (mothxr) - i let them all in, they all wanna stay / die for you (the weeknd) - cause i can’t take this pain forever, and you won’t find no one that’s better  @exclusivemusings

blakemadden​:

“And then we’re going to put your tiny feet in the water so you can see how that feels, does that sound good Princess?” Blake cooed as she carried her daughter across the sand to where her father was putting together a little camp area with a umbrella and blankets for them to sit on. He’d managed to get it up now but the word she’d have used a few moments ago probably would have been more fighting with the umbrella - it had been a little funny if very sweet because she knew he was doing it for the good of their baby. “It’s looking amazing, you did a really great job.” She didn’t speak as he dropped a kiss on Mira’s head, just allowing them that moment together before continuing to bounce her gently to keep her calm, laughing at the theatrical display of self satisfaction. Well, what else could she expect from him? “Here, let’s put you down on the blanket my love so you can spend some time with your daddy.” She’d become so used to talking to Mira all day when they were alone she couldn’t even shut it off when in the presence of others. Settling her down gently before dropping onto the blanket next to her so she could tip her head back to enjoy the warmth of the day. “If anyone at that big Pride party could see us right now they would probably think we were the most uncool people in the galaxy.” Actually she kind of was, it was Leo who had more of an edge to him.

-

“Ah yes, come here baby girl,” He said after Blake spoke about placing Mira on the blanket. He watched as Blake did so with such care. He smiled at his daughter who was looking toward the colors of the umbrella above her head before moving her gaze to Blake that had moved to lay down. “Speak for yourself, I’m pretty cool and so is my little spawn.” He said moving from his back to lay on his side to face Mira and Blake. He moved his body a bit more to help the sand beneath the mat mold to his body. “And besides I like this party.” He said admiring Blake’s complexion in the sun. “Though your daddy is going to the after party with Uncle Xav that’s for sure.” He said bringing his attention to Mira once again, his voice always becoming more melodic when speaking to her.  

THE NOTEBOOK (2004) — directed by Nick Cassavetes

renfarber​:

She could physically feel his eyes on her, so that two feet away still felt impossibly close. It was the way he’d looked at her for a thousand lifetimes, and she would never get used to the way it burned her skin. She wondered if he felt it too, as her eyes traveled over the face she’d long since memorized.

There was so much they needed to talk about, but everything they said felt like throwing knives. Even if one didn’t land a blow, all they were doing was giving each other ammunition. She knew the latter was true about the words on the tip of her tongue. His ego would soak them up like so much whiskey, but she filled both of their empty glasses and then spoke them anyway.

“I haven’t been with anyone since you. Not… not seriously, I mean. There have been hookups, obviously, and flings, I guess, but… nothing more than that. Blake noticed it, years ago, and asked me why, so I told her about… my first love. And how I’d never felt anything so intensely in my life, and how overwhelming it was for me then. And how I purposely fucked it up because it scared me so much.” She avoided his eyes, absentmindedly (nervously) tapping her glass. 

“I didn’t tell her your name, which was obviously a mistake in hindsight, but… I did tell her you had the only key to my lock,” she said, letting out a small humorless laugh, taking a sip of her drink. “Just in case you wondered how much she knows.”

-

He didn’t know if he should be relieved that she had just ended their little spat by pouring whiskey. either way he hadn’t felt so present in a moment than he’s ever had than when he was with her. always an electric current in the air, whether it was a spark or flaming fire. he took his heavy bottom glass back to his lips for a sip when she had spoke again. the topic change at hand made him take another long sip before she had him hanging on every word. it was like being let into her diary. he found himself surprised that she hadn’t taken a chance on anyone else, and that he was being labeled as her first love. serenity was his and only, despite what he believed he claimed on his wedding day. Though another sentence that left her lips made him more perplexed. 

“Is that why you did it…?” His voice trailing off as his head couldn’t help but recall the past. He remembered the night she told him. But every word or explanation had she given him had just went one ear and out the other. He didn’t want to hear it, and he had thanked that defense mechanism many times. One of his many toxic traits was believing that being stubborn was a great thing. It was always easier for the orphan to walk through life with his guard. Had he heard this reasoning then, he wouldn’t be as receptive as he was now. Though the booze might have helped. “You were too scared to...” he paused looking at the counter again as he figured how to word the reasoning she had given him. “...love me?” He said lifting his head and eyes back to her. He still wasn’t even too sure if that was the right wording. “So you decided to hurt me in the worst way possible to end it?” These words flowed out without any malice. Just the string of these specific words trailing one another made it seem harsh. Leo’s face was soft as he tried to analyze it in a way that only a broken man could do. That there was something the matter with him. He reached his hand out to wrap around the glass once more.

closed starter: @blakemadden​ where: on the beach on coney island

“That should fucking do it.” Leo huffed and dusted off as much dry sand as he could on his shorts. He surveyed the beach umbrella once more, triple checking the angle of it against the sun. There was no way his daughter was going to overheat on his watch. He turned to see his... his mind tried to search for a word to describe Blake and who she was to him. Baby mama just seemed to be tainted with negativity. And Blake deserved a pedestal for what she had given him. His mind settled on his daughter and the mother of his child as he squinted at the two of them. “Almost done.” He said pressing a kiss on Mira’s forehead as she was in Blake’s arms. Then Leo moved to lay out a large waterproof mat before spreading out a sheet upon it. Once he was done, he theatrically laid down, immediately enjoying the fruit of his labor. 

xbhandri​:

@le0davis​​

Xavier had a head start getting ready for pride. He was swaying around the loft with a small diamond patterned glass of bourbon. He still had yet to even pick out what he wanted to wear. Just about everything in this wardrobe would be great for pride if it wasn’t so damn hot out.

He still had plenty others, but that was for Leo to help decide with. All else failed, he’d pick out a pair of shorts, a quick top, and throw some kind of rainbow smear on his face and call it a day. Even at his messiest, he was an artiste.

So for now, he was in a silk robe with a pair of bamboo cotton lounge pants flowing from side to side as he moved with the music. Answering the door to Leo, he just let him walk in as he sipped on his drink, humming along with the soothing sounds of Fleetwood Mac in the background.

-

“Well, happy pride to you, Bhandari.” Leo greeted with a smirk upon his lips as he closed the door behind him. He will never be unamused by anything his best friend did. Even if it was just letting him without a word. Leo, being a cis-white male and ally had on just about the most basic outfit ever for the festivites. He had chosen a white tank top that showed his arms’ muscle definition as it did his chest hair. He addition to a baseball cap was donning long typical shorts that kissed his knees and did nothing for his legs. He walked further into the luxurious space, following Xav, and was quick to catch Dreams playing in the background. “Are you going to share?” he asked, his dark eyes zeroing in on dark liquor in his friend’s glass.

“You weren’t the first to leave me but you were the first to swear you wouldn’t.”

— There’s no room for trust in my heart after what you did (via rambl-0n)

renfarber​:

She’d asked. She shouldn’t be so shocked, because she’d asked if he’d gotten rid of it. But she didn’t actually think he would have done so. It made sense; of course it did. Ren had shattered their relationship, right at the moment it was at its most perfect. They’d been deliriously happy, they were making plans for the future, they were obsessed with each other, and unwaveringly in love. So of course he’d been blindsided, and heartbroken, and furious. Of course he’d thrown away the key.

But making sense didn’t make it hurt less. She didn’t want to reason with herself about it, about how it shouldn’t feel like a knife to her heart to see the empty space where the key to her lock had been. Or how the pain and anger in his eyes now shouldn’t break her heart just as much as it had nine years ago. It just did. 

In one swallow, she downed the rest of her drink, setting the empty glass on the table between them with an unceremonious thud. 

“Fine,” she said, staring quietly for a moment, watching him tug his sleeve back down, covering the empty patch of skin where his love for her used to be. She had a question on the tip of her tongue, and for a while it stayed there, stubbornly refusing to be spoken. But the alcohol was loosening it, and she said it anyway, as she poured herself another drink. “…Why did you kiss me?”

-

He watched the way she absorbed the information. But really what was she to expect? Leo couldn’t stand to look down at his own arm because the tattoo was reminded of her absence in his life and his arms. He even missed the stupid way their matching tattoos would meet when holding hands. He had to get rid of it. Those kind memories had morphed into ones where she had made the choice to entangle herself with someone else. It made him sick either way. It had to go. 

Leo swallowed before taking in a deep meaningful breath. Her question had knocked the air out of him, and cleared his head from the pain he had became friends with. The only thing filling his senses now was her. Her scent. Her face. And the way she tasted when he kissed her last. He brought his drink to his mouth to suppress it, but it was too late, the alcohol tasted painfully sweet like she did. He downed it, easily, and like her - he placed the glass down with a thud. 

His dark gaze moved along her features like a caress, but his face stayed neutral. “Because.” He said as if that were a complete answer or sentence. He didn’t want to tell her the truth. It would just be pathetic. He was done with feeling like some love sick fool, especially over her. He had been pining for so long - nearly a decade. This hurt was the part of him that helped him grow into someone so heartless, arrogant, and careless with love... all because he couldn’t experience it with her. 

PENN BADGLEY in The Paper Store (2016)

renfarber​:

He was right, of course. She didn’t want to talk about any of this, but she wanted to talk about Leo’s wife like she wanted a hole in her head. She’d only brought the woman up to see what reaction she’d get, and the confused brow and almost callous laugh told her enough. He had no love for the woman whose ring he still wore. Maybe that should have made things better, or easier, but it didn’t.

“Well…” she said, still wanting to put up some kind of guard, to keep some kind of distance, “I would ask how you met Blake, but I heard all about the charming man she made a wedding cake for.” She didn’t know why she sounded so bitter; it wasn’t her he’d cheated on. “And she’s heard all about the man I loved a decade ago. The one with the key to my lock,” she said, gesturing at the padlock tattoo amongst the medley of others on her forearm. “How’d you explain that to your wife? Or have you gotten rid of it by now?”

-

Leo sighed quite audibly when Ren brought up Blake. There it was. One of the many things Leo would have to elaborate on tonight, that’s if she wanted him to. But the way she continued on, had led him to believe that this was some way to bombarde him with all the wrong things he’s done. A great defense, and it was working. No one had genuinely lifted up a mirror to his face, and he did not like it.

Leo abandoned his drink and leaned back in the chair. His dark eyes moved down to his forearms. He didn’t say anything to her, he only began unbuttoning the sleeve to his dress shirt. He pulled the sleeve to show her his tattoo. Or rather what was left of it. Thanks to a stinging, burning laser, it looked as if he had the faintest discoloration along the length of a tattoo. It could have easily been lost in the green tone of his veins and be mistaken for a birthmark. Leo kept his eyes on the clean skin, and spoke with an even tone. “Why would I keep the key to someone who broke my heart?” His voice sharpening against the word, remembering the infliction she caused him. Her brought his eyes back to her face. Pain written all over his face before he straighten his expression again. He began to tug his sleeve back down and spoke. “Now, are we done pointing fingers?”

xbhandri​:

I can’t do this. I shouldn’t do this. I wouldn’t. Xavier just sat there and listened as Leo gave a million and one reasons as to why he shouldn’t audition. He let him go on, but really, he didn’t know why. No matter what Leo said, he had an answer for. He wasn’t going to let his friend back out of this. And besides, maybe if he felt so strongly, he didn’t have to audition for Roger. Just being backup in RENT was something, right?

“Leo… There is no future… There is no past. Thank God this moments not the last,” he started to sing. He couldn’t really turn this down, right? What was RENT if not a way to say #yolo in an epidemic. You still have time, don’t waste it. “There’s only us, there’s only this, forget regret, or life is yours to miss,” he stood up from his seat to move closer to Leo. “No other to road, no other way, no day but today.”

Xavier took Leo’s face in his hands to look him in the eye. “I can’t control my destiny. I trust my soul. Will you wake tomorrow from this nightmare? We won’t fucking know until you do it. There’s only now, there’s only here. Give in to love, or live in fear. No other path, no other way. No day but today.”

-

Leo parted his lips out of awe but this time just stretched into a knowing smile. Of course Xavier would know exactly how to fan the flames of his heart. His best friend was just as eccentric and playful as he was, but somehow, Xavier knew how to stunningly straddle the line between being too much and not enough. He watched him sing the beautiful words written by Jonathan Larson. Leo’s mind began accompanying his voice with the instrumentals he knew by memory. The music and lyrics made the intention of Xavier’s performance grow. Leo really should at least try. Because if not today, when? No day but today. 

He looked down for a moment, only to feel hands on his face, and at this he had to smile again. He immediately looked back into Xav’s gaze, letting his friend caress his face as he sang RENT to him. If anyone were to walk in right now, they wouldn’t get it, and that is so them. His heart was appreciative at the effort to change his mind. His thoughts began to sink onto the possibility of just trying out. He was silent for one moment. Then he exhaled slowly, “Forget regret, right?” 

#me talking to babies

YOU | 3.01

“I wasn’t lonely when I was alone. I was when we were together.”

— askpristin  (via platth)