Dean Winchester | 11x04  Baby

autumn dirt path 🍂

Yes. I'm horrible with this.

do you ever FEEL yourself being annoying but you CAN’T stop

A guy at my work wears a black ring on his middle finger. I tried to ask but I failed. But to be fair he hasn’t asked about mine either. Also work is not a great place to discuss sexuality. 

Asexual Rings

Finally got myself an Ace ring… The good thing about Ace rings is that as long as their black or a mix of black and purple your good. They can be black roses, spiraled, plain, jeweled…

Now the problem is… The uncertainty…

Is that person asexual? Or is that ring a fashion statement?

Thank you beekeepercain for a great scene. It’s a lot like my own experiences. 

                      “So basically you just want me to shut up.”

                   “Basically I just want you to shut up and believe me.”

Even if you identify as asexual you can still experience sexual intimacy. Orientation does not dictate behavior. Asexuality will probably color your perception of sex differently but everyone perceives differently. I lamented this same thing for many years, I spent so long wondering and upset that I didn't fit into the categories of straight or gay. I'd advise against putting pressure on yourself to identify. Be comfortable with what you decide.

Honestly just so sick of thinking about everything right now it all seems so confusing ugh. I thought I was done with the whole “trying to figure out my identity thing” and now it’s like… Occupying 90% of my thoughts and I hate it right now. Why can’t I figure it out? Like how am I supposed to know if I’m asexual if I’m not even sure I know what sexual attraction feels like? I’m not sure I’ve ever seen a person and immediately thought “yeah I’d like to do them” like I generally just really love looking at people aesthetically?? I don’t KNOW I don’t know I hate iiiittt. I mean idk I guess I very rarely have sexual thoughts but not the urge to act on it really? Like I think of it in passing as an entertaining thought and then I just go on with my life and never really dwell on it.

idk I just feel really confused and not sure what to do. I seem to be really fighting against these thoughts like for some reason I don’t want to be asexual, I want to experience that part of life sometimes but I just never really… Feel it.

I loved this part of the episode with the initials 😍😍

always difficult for me

i wonder how aromantic people deal with loneliness

not just, you know, the standard loneliness where you feel like you need someone’s company

but the inherent “emptiness” associated with not being understood by a lot of people, or always never being first in your friends’ minds because they don’t see your friendship as better than their romantic relationships.

the loneliness associated with the general stigma against “not being able to feel anything”, not being able to fall in love and get married, not really, not like how others would want to experience some day.

of wanting people to just understand and acknowledge that you exist, that how you think and feel is valid, and you’re not any less of a person and should not be valued less just because you can’t feel the same way most people do.

that you need relationships too, and companionship, and to be loved. just not in the way most people feel, but that doesn’t make it any less of a need.

i wonder how aromantics are supposed to deal with all of this, honestly.