Let-me-be-ace - The Ace Me

Social events with friends are slowly turning into a study in frustration and loneliness. An evening with friends now include their partners. Don't get me wrong they are great people (the partners); but a girl can only accept witnessing so many public displays of affection before she feels really uncomfortable and fairly ignored. I've even been skipped on the invitation list because I would arrive unattached. Worse, friends have canceled plans with me because their partner has suddenly become available. I thought I felt loneliness before but this is a whole new level.

If anyone deserves a raise it’s the employee from four seasons total landscaping who answered the phone and went “yup, we can set up a podium and everything” and just acted like nothing was out of the ordinary.

My new response

I must decline, for secret reasons.

Dad kept hiding pine nuts in the pages of this magazine and letting Edgar root around for them.

(Edgar cannot be released to the wild due to an injury. He now works as an ambassador bird and general household nuisance.)

boardwalk path to match the wooden bridge 

I’m really loving this mush path. Gonna switch to pumpkins for fall soon.

Here is the code if you want the path!

A guy at my work wears a black ring on his middle finger. I tried to ask but I failed. But to be fair he hasn’t asked about mine either. Also work is not a great place to discuss sexuality. 

Asexual Rings

Finally got myself an Ace ring… The good thing about Ace rings is that as long as their black or a mix of black and purple your good. They can be black roses, spiraled, plain, jeweled…

Now the problem is… The uncertainty…

Is that person asexual? Or is that ring a fashion statement?

well put

It’s often really hard to imagine or empathize with experiences outside of your own, which is why most often the people who head up movements or charities for particular issues have had some personal experience with it, and why it’s really hard for privileged people to understand systematic oppression etc.

I feel like that’s also why so many ace/aro spectrum people don’t realise that they’re ace/aro for a long time, because they honestly don’t know they’re any different to everyone else. Usually, I’ve found, this manifests in one of two ways - we assume that everyone else is like us (ie nobody actually experiences sexual attraction, nobody actually falls in love like they do in movies and it’s all some collective delusion or joke), or we assume that we’re like everyone else (ie thinking what we’re feeling must be sexual/romantic attraction because that’s how we’ve been taught to quantify our feelings and experiences).

With asexuality, I spent most of my life mistaking aesthetic (and the occasional sensual) attraction for sexual, which is why I didn’t realise I was asexual until I was 19. With aromanticism, for me, it was a combination of both; assuming all feelings I had towards any boy ever must be romantic, but finding some forms of ‘love’ completely implausible and genuinely totally unfathomable.

And that’s totally fine. Having a new word in your vocabulary may completely change the way you view yourself and may even shift your entire worldview because you have a new way to quantify your and other people’s experiences.