I’m Not Crazy Right? We All Saw That Teaser In The Minecraft Video Today, Right??? Right??????

Nope!

A/N: I smell a fandom fire! What a good time for some nicely roasted angst!

Dark knew what this feeling was. He was all too familiar with it, wasn’t he? All the same, the familiar panic began to rise in his throat, and he stood suddenly at his desk, before grunting and hunching over it, one hand slamming down into the surface, cracking it in an attempt to steady himself, but it felt like the world was spinning.

It was very fast this time.

“Dark?”

Oh, no. No, Wil, you don’t need to see…

But Wilford was leaning heavily on the door frame, bubblegum-smile missing and face pale, eyes wide and deathly scared. Dark knew that look.

“It would seem it isn’t just me,” he said softly, trying to come around the desk to join him, but this caused the room to turn sickeningly on its side. He slid to the ground with a groan. Wilford made an effort to come to him at the same time, and collapsed to his knees halfway there.

“What’s happening? What’s…?”

“We’re dying, Wilford.”

The tears that had already been forming leaked out and onto his cheeks as he whispered, not even strong enough to summon his usual smile, “It’s…but it’s all a joke, isn’t it? It’s always been a joke, hasn’t it?”

“A cruel joke,” Dark agreed, slumping further onto the ground. He vaguely made out Wilford collapsing fully, heard him wheezing. “It’s not fair…it’s never been fair.”

They were quiet for a moment.

Suddenly, Wilford chuckled, and the sound of it brought real tears to Dark’s long-dried eyes. He didn’t know he could still do that. How interesting.

“Not quite the blaze of glory I had planned, is it, Dames?”

“So you do remember.”

He’d have nodded if he still could have. He couldn’t even see anymore, really. Vague, grey and blue and red shapes. He didn’t know if Wil could still hear him.

“Thank you, William.”

“It’s been my honor. Damien. Celine.”

There were no other words. Everything went black.

“Dark? I have some new concepts to go over with you, and we need to discuss this week’s schedule.” Bim knocked on his door, and was surprised when it gave way under his hands. Frowning, he stepped into the office.

It was oddly empty. The fire was still burning in the white marble fireplace on the far end of the room, and there were papers sitting on the desk, as if someone had been halfway through them and been interrupted. The chair was pushed back carelessly, and the thick rug was wrinkled in one corner.

Bim walked slowly over to the desk and picked up one of the papers. For a moment, it looked as if he were reading and old article, the tabloid headline stating “MURDERS AT MARKIPLIER MANOR REMAIN UNSOLVED”.

And then, the page was blank.

Bim wondered why the egos never used this office. It was nice, very stately. Fit for a politician.

Perhaps Google would like it. Always best to offer the boss the best spot in the building, and his current room wasn’t nearly enough. Why had they stuck him in that little side room again? Why had he let them? Maybe he liked the privacy.

He wandered off to find him, feeling vaguely as if he’d forgotten something important. But he was sure it was nothing.

OH FUCK

I don’t think Darkiplier was trying to trick us in ADWM.

“Shoot him. Shoot him now, please. You do not have time. He needs to die. He is dark. He’s a bad influence. He takes over everything you’ve ever loved. Please shoot him RIGHT NOW. Don’t listen to him. He’s a liar. Please shoot him. He’s a bad man and does bad things to good people. You have to trust me.”

This is the exact text of what Darkiplier says to us at the end of “FREEDOM!” in ADWM.

You know what I noticed about this?

Not once does he claim to be Mark.

Also, there’s a reason the word “dark” isn’t capitalized. This is not Dark trying to trick us into thinking Mark is really Dark– this is him telling us what Mark’s really done.

And now we know what Mark has done, thanks to WKM.

“He needs to die” = Dark recognizing that he CAN die now that he’s out of the house.

“He takes over everything you’ve ever loved” = Mark taking over Damien’s body and life.

“Don’t listen to him, he’s a liar” = Dark warning us about Mark calling us ‘a close and trusted friend’.

“He’s a bad man and does bad things to good people” = the fact that Celine and Damien were torn apart, (Y/N) was pushed out and left behind, and the Colonel was subjected to madness, all because of Mark’s sinister plot.

This was not Dark trying to trick us.

This was Dark trying to stop Mark from making things worse.

This was Dark actually needing our help.

And you know what kills me the most about this?

The fact that Mark totally discredits any potential for goodness left inside of Dark… and we believe every word of it.

I wrote a book!

Hello! So for the better part of a year, I've been working on a science fiction book titled Artificial Intelligence, and it's been through beta reading after beta reading, edits, re-writes, and so much more, and it's finally published and available for purchase on Amazon. I'm so incredibly proud of this story, and I just wanted to share it. It's available in eBook form and a paperback physical book! Here's the link!

(Cover by the lovely @stitchtehhedgehog on Instagram)

BITCH MORE WHO KILLED MARKIPLIER LORE I AM SO FUCKING READY

Like I’ll take all of that, just less tears pls and thank

Hehehe.

Same.

I got nothing else to say but if ISWM doesn’t get merch I’m gonna cry.

ohh....OH NO.

I NEVER THOUGHT ABOUT DARK BEING ABLE TO READ MINDS TOO.

OH GOD.

ALRIGHT THEORISTS

LET’S GET CRACKING ON THIS VIDEO

1. The audio was weird. There were little cracks and glitches. The first one I noticed was at 10:38. We should probably check the audio files

2. 10:38 ALSO HAD A VISUAL GLITCH. I played it over many times to double-check and that was definitely placed there intentionally.

3. We shouldn’t worry too much about the train from the future thing – it’s a reference to Murder on the Orient Express (as confirmed by when Wilford says “we all did it”) – but it IS important to know that Wilford seems to have been time traveling!

4. “If you were Celiene you’d probably carve my heart out” – does that mean Will knows about Darkiplier? Have they had a run-in? 

5. TELEPATHY? WHAT.

6. TELEPORTATION? is this and #5 just part of the fucked timelines?

7. Are the masked people at the end really…there? Are they real people Will has gathered somehow? or is it another one of his weird glitches?

8. On that note, the blood from when he was shot in the heart? Dripping down his shirt? Is Will just magic?

9. It seems like the Detective wasn’t having any trouble remembering things until the audio glitches started. Did Will do something to influence that or does the house still have control over both of them?

10. Between the cut from the car scene to the office, Wilford was still shouting, and given that time is fucky here, I wouldn’t be surprised if time actually jumped there?

11. SHIT DOES THIS MEAN DARKIPLIER CAN READ MINDS TOO OH GOD

I’m about to go frame-by-frame, I’ll add more as it comes up.

Chained together, running through an underground (most likely) tunnel

...prison break?

OH MY GO D

OH MY GOD

OH MY FUCKING GOD

So I wrote and recorded a brief horror story. Lemme know what you think?

Deceit’s Name.

Okay, so there seems to be some confusion, but I wanted pitch in. Deceit’s name isn’t “Janice”. It’s Janus, after the two-faced Roman god of deception thresholds and decisions (this is an edit, i goofed and got some gods mixed up!).

Hence this pose: 

which is not only a fun allusion to swearing in in court (”I swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth”), but is similar to a typical pose in art for Janus the god: