If I Can Recommend You Do 1 Low-effort Thing For The Love Of God It Is This:

If I can recommend you do 1 low-effort thing for the love of God it is this:

Keep 5 cards in your pocket. One will say "yes", the second will say "no."

If you lose your voice, or lose speech, or want to make a dramatic embellishment at the right time, it is an elegant and efficient solution that is right there at hand.

But what if people question you from there? "Why do you have that card? Why would you do this? How long have you had that in your pocket?" For this, or whatever else they say, the third card: "I don't have a card for that."

"What the fuck," they ask. They laugh. They are bemused. You bring the energy back down with the fourth card: "I have laryngitis. I've lost speech. My throat hurts". Whatever you expect to occur.

The joke is over. Rule of threes. Now they are curious. YThey wonder about logistics. "How did you know I would say that? Is everyone so predictable?"

As a three-part bit, nobody ever sees the fifth card coming.

"I have powerful wizard magics."

Gets them every time

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lizsstory

1 year ago

istg men be so mad about women looking different without makeup, like you look HELLA DIFFERENT soft so stfu ☠️

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luigi mangione united healthcare uhc ceo deny defend depose free luigi [liztalks]

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lizsstory

1 year ago

Life advise . if the bus smells like pee do not sit down never pay for anything you could get for free dont work retail if you value being seen as human always give money to homeless people when u can if youre buying a jacket never settle for fake leather just look for real leather and youll find the right thrift shop eventually make sure to have chapstick with you at all times dont use a public restroom until youve checked to make sure theres toilet paper in the stall with you dont eat out if you cant tip shoplifting from corporations is totally fine and vandalism is also ok Dont get caught always trust ur gut unless your tummy hurts in which case do not trust your gut take an antacid take benadryl when you are itchty but never more than 2 at a time dont get high on benadryl because it sucks Do not get high on any cough syrup with acetaminophen in it if you value your liver do not listen to brendon uries solo work sometimes you should eat a little treat just because youcan. Always dress extravagantly and wear platform shoes if you can. Be nice. ok thats it

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lizsstory

1 year ago