No Word From My Good Friend Jonathan For Two Days Now :(

Weird question but is anyone doing anything special on May 3rd aka the Day Our Good Friend Jonathan starts sending us updates on his travels? I'm attempting paprika hendl, if I can find the right kind of paprika in time.

"If you use em dash in your works, it makes them look AI generated. No real human uses em dash."

Imaging thinking actual human writers are Not Real because they use... professional writing in their works.

Imagine thinking millions of people who have been using em dash way before AI becomes a thing are all robots.

REBLOG IF YOU'RE A HUMAN AND YOU USE EM DASH

Love how often in Dracula everyone is like "oh no, Mina we can't subject your woman's heart to this horror, it may give out from the fright" while shes literally the smartest most equipped person in the book, meanwhile they keep giving Jonathan important, terrifying tasks despite him having trauma induced seizures everytime he sees someone with a beard

Me anytime I get a notification from Substack that isn’t Dracula Daily: this isn’t my dear friend Jonathan Harker >:(

Someone PLEASE warn Jonathan Harker before he departs on the worst interrailing trip of all time in approximately eight days

Eternally fond of the way Jonathan says ✨excellent supper✨ each time in Re: Dracula

coming out of my cage and i been doing just bad. going back in my cage because i like my cage

i hate driving. here are the laws! if you break them there will be consequences! except youre also expected to break the law just a little bit. people will get mad at you if you dont. you dont have right of way but the person who does is waving you forward for some reason. here's the speed limit! it's not the speed limit, the actual speed limit is that plus ~5-10. the light is green but you're in the turning lane. can you go? should you have gone just then? the person behind you is honking at you. there's a weird noise coming from your engine; if you try to do the right thing and get it checked out, will you get scammed? you are driving a 1-2 ton metal machine rocketing at speeds unknown to humankind for most of history. around a million people die in car accidents every year; that's about one person every thirty seconds. if you take that seriously and try to drive safely then people get mad at you.

Is his name Jack or John.

Jonathan is like obviously I picked your new house because it was the creepiest, shittiest old place in town and Dracula is like hell yeah brother