This Is An Amazing Creator Award! Your Creations Are Incredible, And They Light Up Every Dashboard They

Alright everyone—results are in! You guys agreed that I should make a new account to write for Pedro Pascal, which I have now done! For everyone who is interested, I’ll be tagging my Pedro account soon (it’s still under construction 💀) and making my first post in a day or so (It’s already written i just need to revise it now!!).

I’ve gone back through my ateez drafts and I’ve found some which are hella close to being done as well so we’ll see what my posting schedule ends up looking like lol. Thanks again to everyone who voted! ^^

Ice Cream Pt. 3~

ꕥPosted: 11/6/20

ꕥGenre: Fluff

ꕥPairing: FemReader! x Seonghwa

ꕥWord Count: 2.7k

ꕥWarnings: Slight language

ꕥA/N: This is honestly one of my favorite fics I’ve written and I really hope you all like it too! Let me know if you’ve got any suggestions! Also! I changed up my pics at the top of my fics! Whatcha think?

Your POV

The warm, gentle breeze rustled my hair as I sat beneath what quickly became my favorite tree in this park. Its tall Oak branches provided plenty of shade and the grass beneath it always felt so soft to the touch. In the middle of summer, it was the perfect place to be.

Flipping another page of my book, I yawned loudly, awaking the warm body that laid beside me. Seonghwa’s sleepy eyes met mine as I gave him a sorry smile.

“I didn’t mean to wake you. You can go back to sleep if you’d like.”

He brushed a strand of hair out of my face, tucking it behind my ear, “Don’t worry, I’ve slept enough anyhow.”

It had been roughly two months since we first met. In the first month alone we went on five dates, still unable to get enough each other. It was faster than I had moved in previous relationships, and at first a part of me was afraid I would lose interest, but I hadn’t. Not even in the slightest.

Seonghwa’s eyebrows crinkled, “Whatcha reading, babe?”

I gave a slight smile. “The Outsiders. Last time I read it I was about fourteen. I remember loving it so much. I’m really glad I picked it up again.”

Seonghwa nodded. “That’s a good one.”

A comfortable silence fell between us as I attempted to resume my reading, but the dark orbs I felt on me led my attention elsewhere.

I spoke without bringing my eyes from the book. “You know I’m having an awfully difficult time reading when you look at me like that.”

A sly smile appeared on Seonghwa’s face as he moved closer, “And why might that be?”

“Because staring at someone like they’re your next meal isn’t necessary the most relaxing feeling.”

He responded with a soft chuckle and placed his head on my shoulder. My stomach fluttered and I did my best to ignore it as I stared at the pages before me, but it wasn’t working.

I’m getting too distracted. There’s no way I’ll be able to continue where I left off. Not with Seonghwa being so close to me, anyway.

Placing a bookmark inbetween the pages, I closed the book and placed it in my small backpack.

Turning to my boyfriend, an idea formed. “Have you ever made pottery before?”

Seonghwa blinked a few times, looking off into space. “No, I don’t believe I have.”

A large, toothy smile lit up my face. Grabbing his hand I pulled him off the ground and started leading him in the direction of my second favorite place in the world. The first? Wherever Seonghwa was.

Seonghwa’s POV

I grasped her soft hand harder in an attempt to keep ahold of her. She quickly skipped in what I could only assume was the direction of the closest pottery store, stringing me along.

“You walk awfully quick given your short legs little legs, you know that?”

She turned around and squinted at me, clicking her tongue, “Rude.”

I did my best to hide a smile. Her flowy jean overalls and large, pale blue shirt practically swallowed her which already made her the cutest thing I have ever seen. The feigned annoyance on her face just added another layer of cute. Not that I’d tell her outright.

Or hell, maybe I would. I’d love to see her cheeks flush again.

We approached a quaint store front that displayed the most intricate pottery in the windows, alternating with floral arrangements.

I read the store name aloud, “Soul Glaze?”

She gave a hum. “I’ve spent most all of my summers here. This place means a lot to me.”

Wiggling her fingers that were intertwined with mine, she reached for the door and opened it, revealing a group of children running about, laughing, and attempting to make pottery.

“Birthday party?” My girlfriend asked a young woman with bright red hair who appeared to be working there. She spun around, noticing us for the first time. The woman’s eyes lit up as they made eye contact.

“Oh my god! It’s so good to see you!” The woman yelled, promptly giving a bear hug to the woman I was holding hands with. She let go of my hand and hugged the redhead back.

“You look so good! How have you been?”

“I’ve been great! Actually...there’s someone I want to introduce you to.” Both women looked at me.

“This is my boyfriend, Seonghwa. Seonghwa this is Kim. She was my best friend in high school.”

“Very nice to meet you, Kim.”

She smiled in response, “You as well! I’m glad to see my bestie found someone. She certainly deserves it.”

My girlfriend flushed slightly. “So we were actually hoping we could maybe make some pottery. Do you have any space left?”

“Of course! Always for you!”

Kim lead us to a room separate from the children, thankfully. Not that I didn’t like children, but I was looking forward to spending some time alone with my girl.

“Alright I’ve got everything here that you need and I know you won’t need any help but if you need any more supplies just let me know. Have fun you two.” Kim gave a friendly wink to her best friend and left, presumably to help the children with their pottery.

My girlfriend squealed, bouncing up and down like a child. “It’s been so long since I’ve been here!”

As she walked around the room examining everything, the glint in her eye which I’ve come to love so deeply returned. But it wasn’t just that look in her eyes I loved. I loved all of her. Every smile, every laugh that she gave me made me feel like a lovesick teenager. Every flip of her hair, every sultry gaze made me forget to breathe. I loved every witty and sarcastic comment that she made towards me, how she challenged me in every way. In a good way. She made me want to be a better man for her. I needed to be a good man for her.

Wait.

I froze, afraid of my own thoughts.

I love this girl. It’s literally only been two months how can I already be in love with her? Oh god. Maybe it’s just a fleeting thought?

But as much as I tried to push down my feelings, the words kept repeating over and over in my head.

I love her.

Your POV

“You okay Seonghwa? You look a bit pale.” I could hear my voice laced with concern.

He shook his head slightly and laughed. “It’s just cute to see you so happy.”

I didn’t even have to see my face to know that it was gradually heating up and I closed my eyes as if that would prevent him from seeing it. Before Seonghwa could tease me about it I heard the loud voice of a young boy yelling my name. I turned and saw him running towards me.

“Stevie!” I smiled as he approached me and gave him a tight hug.

“How’ve you been? Gosh you’ve grown up so much since I’ve last seen you! You’ll be a grandpa in no time!”

The boy giggled, “No I’m only four! You’re the grandpa!”

“I’m the grandpa? Oh you’re gonna get it now!” I laughed as I picked him up and held him above my head.

Stevie squealed and laughed loudly as I lifted him higher. I set him down after a moment or two and he pointed at the man beside me.

“Who’s that guy?”

I let out a soft laugh. “This is my boyfriend, Seonghwa.”

Stevie looked at Seonghwa. “I won’t remember that so I’m calling you number two.”

“Why number two?” I inquired.

“Because I’m your first man!” He pouted and puffed out his chest.

Laughing, I squatted down to his height and ruffled his thick brunette hair, “You sure are, bub.”

I made eye contact with my boyfriend. “This is Stevie, Kim’s son.”

Seonghwa squatted down, holding out his hand to shake his hand. “It’s very nice to meet you, young man.”

Stevie gave a skeptical look as he shook Seonghwa’s hand and pointed at him. “Treat her good! If you don’t I’ll take your place, number two.”

My boyfriend raised a hand to his head in a salute. “Yes, sir!”

I did my best to hold my laughs but it didn’t work in the slightest.

“You two are cute.”

“But I’m cuter, right?” Stevie asked with wide eyes.

I glanced at Seonghwa and leaned down to whisper in Stevie’s ear, “Definitely.”

The young boy cheered and told us he had to go back to his friend’s birthday party. I waved goodbye as he ran out of the room.

“He’s just the cutest kid. I-”

Seonghwa swept me up and kissed me, gently resting his arms on my hips as he deepened the kiss.

“What was that for?” I asked, breathless.

“Just being you.”

I bit my lip and looked down, smiling slightly. He always said such cute things so easily and it flustered me every time.

“When Kim got pregnant with Stevie she was so nervous. We were still relatively young and she didn’t think she’d be a good mom.” I shook my head, “She was worried for nothing. She’s the best mom anyone could ask for.”

Seonghwa smiled, “You’d make a fantastic mom yourself.”

“Maybe one day.” I smiled back. I honestly never wanted kids. I was always more content with being an honorary aunt.

But I don’t think I would mind them with Seonghwa.

I set down my little backpack on a nearby chair and took some clay, placing it on the pottery wheel in front of me.

“Alright babe. Let’s get started.”

Seonghwa’s POV

My heart swelled the instant she pulled Stevie into her arms. I never knew that she was so good with children. We never really talked about it, but in that moment I could picture a life with her.

I could picture myself proposing to her, how sweaty my palms would get beforehand, how I’d likely forget half of what I wanted to say, how she’d look at me when I get on one knee, how afterwards she’d kiss me and I’d gently place the ring on her finger.

I could picture our wedding, watching my soon-to-be wife walk towards me, her favorite colored flowers in her hand, the dazzling smile on her face that makes my stomach do somersaults.

I could picture our first dance as husband and wife, tears in both of our eyes from the overwhelming happiness that we’d feel, the world seeming as though it disappeared in that moment.

I could picture how beautiful she would look pregnant, the tears in my eyes when she’d tell me, the unbelievable excitement for the next stage in our lives we would feel.

I could picture going clothes shopping for our unborn baby, my wife fawning over how cute the small clothes looked, probably buying every outfit possible.

I could picture lazy mornings in bed with our children, showering them with love and warmth, making sure they’d feel nothing but safety and comfort for all of their years.

I could picture sunny days in the park, pushing our children on the swings and listening to their joyous laughs as they’d ask us to push them higher.

I could picture growing old with her, watching our children graduate and having a life of their own, the grey in our hair that would slowly show, our kids teasing us about our age.

I could picture always protecting her and being there for her. I didn’t try to fight it anymore. I knew: she’s the one.

I was forced to push my thoughts aside as she began to teach me the basics. She was impressively good and I was embarrassingly bad, even with her instructions.

“No you’re doing great!” She told me when I voiced my thoughts.

I gave her a deadpan look and she giggled. “What? I was terrible my first time too, but you’re trying and that’s all that matters.” The kiss on the cheek she presented me with sent my heart flying, yet I tried to suppress it.

Time flew by and before I knew it our pottery had been made to our satisfaction and placed in a kiln. My girlfriend explained that it would take awhile for the pottery to be fully ready so we’d have to come back in a few days.

“Fine with me. That’s just more time I get to spend with you, doll.”

She bit her bottom lip and rolled her eyes, playfulness in her voice, “Yeah I guess so.”

After paying and bidding adieu to Kim, we left and wandered back to the park, my girlfriend slightly teasing me about my attempt at making a bowl.

“So when did Yeosang say he was gonna meet us?” She asked, wrapping her arm around mine.

“In about an hour. He’s bringing Aurora, by the way.”

I could sense her nerves, “You’ll like her, I promise. Your personalities are pretty similar so you’ll get along fine.”

“I sure hope so.”

Your POV

Aurora, Yeosang’s girlfriend, was someone I felt I’d become indebted to. Without her, I never would have met Seonghwa. This was my first time meeting her and I was nervous to say the least. I’d met Yeosang several times before so I wasn’t necessarily nervous about seeing him again. I just hoped I would get along with Aurora.

“Hey.” Seonghwa turned to look at me, “Don’t overthink it. It’ll all be okay. Even if she doesn’t like you—which she will—that’s not gonna change things between us, alright?”

I nodded. “Thank you.”

“You don’t have to thank me for that. You’re my girl. I’ve gotta stand by your side.”

I was quiet for a moment or two. His words meant so much to me. I wasn’t sure how to express it so I kept it simple. “That makes me happy.”

“You make me happy.”

I gave him a playful shove and giggled, “Get outta here.”

Seonghwa scoffed. “How dare you. I confess my true feelings and this is how I’m treated? Heartless.”

I moved in front of him, forcing him to stop walking. I looked deep into his eyes and I could feel the heat return to my cheeks at his gaze alone.

“Then let me confess mine.” Standing on my tippy-toes, I cupped his face and whispered into his ear, “I’m falling for you.”

I didn’t get a chance to see his reaction as I poked him in the cheek and began to run away from him, “Tag! You’re it!”

The wind once again flew through my hair, although this time it was more chilly, making me wish I had brought a jacket. The sun had begun to set and the cotton candy clouds meshed with the pinkish-yellow sunset. I slowed down unintentionally to take in its beauty, and that’s when I felt a pair of arms wrap around me and drag me to the ground.

I yelped and Seonghwa nuzzled my neck, pressing kisses to my most sensitive spots. “That’s what you get for challenging me.”

Although I wish I could say I had a clever comeback, I didn’t. I was too in awe of how truly handsome he was. I ran my fingers through his dark locks and played with the hair at the nape of his neck as he looked a me. His smile slowly faded as he broke eye contact.

I gave him a questioning look. “What’s wrong babe?”

Seonghwa opened and closed his mouth a few times as though he was trying to find the words to say or maybe work up the confidence to say something. Perhaps both.

His voice came out in a whisper, “Did you mean it?”

I tilted his head so that I could reach his lips. I kissed him lightly and smiled against the kiss. I pulled back and made sure he looked me in the eyes.

“Every word.”

He kissed me with more fervor than he ever had before. His hands wondered to my own, pinning them down.

“I. Am. So. Far. Beyond. Falling.” Seonghwa said between heated kisses.

The cold of the wind was long forgotten as the warmth inside me started to spread. I didn’t have the words to communicate how I was feeling so I resorted to kissing him back with even more passion. Until something occurred to me.

“Wait. We’re supposed to meet Yeosang soon.”

Seonghwa hurriedly checked his watch. “Shit, we gotta go.” Standing up and helping me off the ground, we both began to run to our usual meeting spot with Yeosang.

“It’ll be okay if we’re late, right?”

“Oh yeah totally, it’s fine.” He smiled. “We should probably run a bit faster though.”

I’m posting my Mingi fic (which is gonna be hella fluff for his return) by the end of today and then in a day or so I’m going to post a supernatural imagine with Jongho! I’ve never written supernatural stuff before so hopefully it’s good! I don’t wanna give away too much so that’s all I’ll say about it 😂😅

Vampire Shift Teaser//Now Posted~

ꕥWill Be Posted On: 5/23/21

ꕥGenres: Smut, Fluff, Angst, College!au, Horror!au

ꕥPairing: Human!FemReader x Vampire!Jongho

ꕥTagging: @bobateastay @cappujinho

ꕥA/N: I’m not sure how long this will end up being, but it’ll definitely be one of my longer posts, which I’m excited about. Anyways, I hope you enjoy it and lmk if you’d like me to add you to the tag list ☺️✨

I bit my lip, anxiously mulling over the question I’d wanted to ask him for weeks. I didn’t know how he would take it, let alone how I would bring it up, but I needed to ask at some point. Knowing he could probably sense my nerves, I gave in. “Jongho, can a human turn into a vampire?”

He hummed, turning to face me. “Why do you ask?”

“I just...I didn’t know if it could happen or not.”

Jongho chuckled, “Yeah it’s possible. It’s a long ass process to go through though, and there’s a lot that can go wrong, so it rarely happens.”

I shifted in my seat, trying not to appear overly interested. “Why is that? What can go wrong?

He smiled and raised a brow, his cocky persona resurfacing, “You sound so eager to know, dear. Do you want to become a vampire?” His eyes briefly flickered towards my lips before he tilted his head, dragging his soft lips across my neck. I let out a gasp when I felt the tips of his teeth lightly scraping my skin, “Or maybe you’re just looking for an excuse for me to put my mouth on you?”

Like with anything that exuded him, I felt myself becoming quickly overwhelmed, my mind now hazy and distant. I shut my eyes in an attempt to gain some semblance of control over myself.

“Your thoughts are swirling, doll.” Jongho began leaving gentle kisses along the side of my jaw, “Don’t think too much. Just let me take care of you. Okay?”

“Okay.” I said through a short breath, knowing we’d just have to have the conversation another time.

I didn’t understand it when I watched it the first time but like half a year later I binged it again and that’s when I was starting to learn Chinese. I think that’s when everything clicked tbh

It’s been a year since I’ve watched meteor garden and I still don’t understand the last episode

It’s Not Just The Coffee~

ꕥPosted: 1/11/21

ꕥGenre: CoffeeShop!au, Fluff

ꕥPairing: FemReader! x San

ꕥWord Count: 1.3k

ꕥWarnings: None

ꕥTagging: @midzyatiny​

ꕥA/N: For those that don’t know, San has said before that if he wasn’t an idol he would be a barista, so that was my inspo. I wrote this while listening to Falling in Love at a Coffee Shop by Landon Pigg and I highly recommend listening to it while you read this, if you so desire :))

There was always something about that coffee shop that kept me coming back.

Maybe it was the homey, rustic look of the store or their creamy, rich coffee. Perhaps it was the gentle jazz music in the background or the adorable little plants they had displayed in their windows. Or maybe, just maybe, it was the cute barista that led me to return.

How Have You Bean was not only the cutest name for a coffee shop ever, but the name of this particular coffee shop. The one I happened to stumble upon when I first moved to town two months ago.

It was horribly cold that day. Due to the bitter cold and snow, I ran inside the nearest open building in search of warmth. There were only a few people there, mostly college students quietly discussing their upcoming assignments. I debated on whether or not I should order something. I’d be rude if I simply stayed and didn’t order anything, right? I walked to the counter and saw a male employee with his back facing me.

“Sir? I’d like to order if you don’t mind?”

The man turned around I couldn’t help but stare. I had never seen a man with such gentle yet stunning features. His eyes formed crescents as dimples on his face appeared.

Damn. Who is he?

“I don’t mind at all. How may I help you miss?”

Of course his voice would sound like honey.

I placed my order and he smiled. “You’re new around here, aren’t you?”

My brows furrowed. “What makes you so sure?”

“I’ve worked here for quite a long time. I know every customer, but I’ve never seen you here.”

“Would you believe me if I said I’ve been here before? Just not when you’re here?”

“Nope.” His answer was immediate, “If you did, I would know.”

I smiled, “Alright, you omniscient being. How much do I owe you?”

I paid and he asked for my name. I gave him a quizzical look and he explained that he needed my name so he could write it down on my cup. I blushed slightly and told him.

“It’ll be ready in no time, miss.”

“Thank you,” I looked down at his name tag, “San.”

His beautiful smile returned as I called him by name. My heart fluttered and I sat down at a nearby table. I began to twiddle my thumbs as my head wandered to him. It was a habit that I’d never been able to rid myself of.

Is he single? Should I ask him? What if he says no? Maybe I should just approach him as a friend?

I tried my best to stay level headed and not completely fawn over him.

There’s absolutely no way that he’s single. With his looks and kindness, I’m sure someone is already hopelessly in love with him and I’m sure he feels the same.

I didn’t realize I was frowning until San was standing in front of me with my coffee in his hands, asking if I was feeling alright.

“Oh! Of course!” I said, unconvinced by my own feigned happiness.

San gave me a look I couldn’t quite place. He glanced back at the empty counter and sat down on the chair across from me.

“If you don’t want to talk I understand, but I don’t like seeing people sad. Is there anything I can do to help?”

The genuine look in his eyes made my heart swell. I never believed in love at first sight before, but I had no doubt that’s what this was.

“Ah. Well...”

The man waited patiently, not pushing me to say anything.

“I just moved here and I’m a little nervous. I don’t really know anyone. And you’re kinda cute and you’re making my heart beat really fast.” I whispered the last sentence, not wanting him to hear me, but he did. A playful gleam lit up his eyes and his mouth formed into a crooked smile.

“Cute, huh?”

My eyes widened and I buried my face in my hands. “Oh god I didn’t mean for you to hear that.”

A moment of silence followed my confession, each passing second building my regret of saying it in the first place.

“I think you’re beautiful. Especially with the blush that I can tell is lighting up your face right now.”

“Nooo now I’m going to blush even more.” I giggled out of nerves.

San gently removed my hands from my face. His playful smile was still there, but his eyes had softened.

“I need to get back to work, but I’d like to see you again. I’m here most days so...yeah. Come and visit anytime. It was wonderful to meet you, miss.”

I gave a shy smile and responded, “You too.”

And so a day later, I returned. It became a habit of mine to visit San at the coffee shop at least twice a week. Seeing his bright smiles and deep dimples always seemed to remove my worries and stresses without fail.

Sometimes we would sit down and talk, other times we wouldn’t get the chance because of the exorbitant amount of people ordering coffee, keeping him busy. But the occasional glances and smiles in my direction made it all worth it.

One day, when the coffee shop was empty aside from him and I, I found myself sitting on the counter and tasting new coffee mixes that he was concocting.

“Mmm! This one is amazing!” I pointed at the small cup in my hand.

He gleamed, eyes widening, “Really?”

“Oh my god yeah! I think this is my favorite.”

San leaned down on the counter next to my legs, propping his head on his hands and looking at me with starry eyes, “What is it you like about it?”

“Well, it’s not too strong, to start with. I hate black coffee so automatically any coffee that isn’t black gets points in my book.”

He smiled, “What else?”

“I like the slight hazelnut taste. Hazelnut coffee is one of my favorites.”

He nodded, appearing deep in thought, “It’s one of mine, too.”

“You have good taste, sir.”

His handsome laugh rang out through the shop and I couldn’t help but laugh as well.

“I’d love to teach you how to make it but my boss would probably kill me if I let you touch anything without you working here.”

“I mean...you could still show me. I’ll just watch.”

“You’re a clever girl, aren’t you?”

I felt my cheeks flush and I giggled, “Oh shush.”

“Watch what I’m doing very carefully okay?”

“Okay.”

San went about making a cup of coffee, instructing me on all the steps that he followed previously. When he was done he placed a lid on the cup, handing it to me.

“Oh I can’t accept this. This is too big of a big cup to take for free. Here, I’ll pay you for it.” I reached for my purse.

“Nope. On the house.”

Smiling at him I tilted my head, “Are you sure?”

“Absolutely. Although, I’m not quite done. There’s still one last step.”

“What’s that?”

He leaned towards me, “The last step is to ask the pretty girl in front of me if I can kiss her.”

Flustered, it took me a minute to process his words, “She says yes.”

I set my coffee down and placed my hands on his face, moving him closer to me as his lips touched mine.

His lips were as soft as I had imagined countless times, the taste of coffee lingering on his lips.

San pulled back, much to my dismay, and I noticed the slight blush dusting his ears.

“I’ve never seen you flustered before, San.”

“What? I’m not flustered.”

“Your pink ears say differently.”

He covered his ears with his hands and giggled, “You’re gorgeous, how else would I react?”

I shyly tucked my head in my hands, letting out an excited squeal.

Anyone from the outside would’ve probably thought we were still young teens who’d never felt butterflies before, judging by our pink faces and shy laughs, our lingering touches.

Confidence growing, I pushed myself to ask, “Can...can you kiss me again?”

“I would love to.”

In case no one has told you today; I’m proud of you. You’re trying your best and that’s admirable. Your best always looks different from day to day. Maybe you got out of bed and brushed your hair one day, maybe you finished an essay another. I don’t know you, but I feel you. I’m happy that you’re here and I’m proud of you. Keep strong, my loves :)

Last Update Before I Return!

(Note: This is just a bunch of personal garbo, don't feel like you have to read it all!)

So yes I've been gone for far too long but I can explain-

Classes started picking up and kept me busy for a long time. With my college graduation coming up in the fall, there's been a lot for me to do. Somewhere in between I found a guy I became interested in. This is hella rare for me, so he became someone special. A few months into knowing him, he asked me to be his girlfriend and I agreed. This past weekend he broke up with me. We live roughly two hours apart and it was hard to work out times that we'd see each other. I'm pretty heartbroken over it to be honest, and seeing him smile and laugh online (he's in a band and posts videos with his band mates to advertise ofc. Literally never date anyone in a band they will leave you for the band. Hella ironic that the last fic I wrote was about Yunho in a band, I legit didn't even know the guy yet) is not a great feeling. But! I’ll be putting that energy into my writings so expect more angst ig? Anyways, with one of my classes ending early, I'm going to be setting aside time for me to write more often. So starting next week, begin to expect weekly posts again! Thank you to everyone who has sent me kind words since my disappearance, I love you all.

My disappointment is immeasurable and my day is ruined 😭🥺

Is cauliflower allowed? 👉👈

If its showered in gasoline and thrown in fire then yes

Broken Strings~

ꕥPosted: 7/20/21

ꕥGenre: Fluff, Angst, Smut, College!au, Rockstar!au

ꕥPairing: Fem!Reader x Rockstar!Yunho

ꕥWord Count: 10k+

ꕥWarnings (please read all!!): Yunho’s ex is an absolute asshat, death threats towards both Yunho and reader, mention of knives used as weapons, San is a bisexual king (happy late pride month), unprotected pool sex/public sex (no one is around but I guess it still counts), masturbation (f), foul language, mentions of alcohol intake, reader is mentioned to have dark brown eyes several times which you can just ignore if you have different colored eyes ofc, mentions of a restraining order against an ex, please let me know if I missed something!!

ꕥTag List: @cappujinho @bobateastay @nevieatiny 

ꕥA/N: The song lyrics are ones that I wrote myself specifically for this au and I’d be lying if I said that I wasn’t nervous about posting it. I know there isn’t any tune or anything, but hopefully it sounds like a real song someone might sing. Also I’m not writing angst for a while after this holy shit I’ve been crying too much over this I’m emotional okay

“Date night! Date night! Date night!” I grabbed my boyfriend’s arm, bouncing on my toes.

Yunho raised a hand to cover his ear, scrunching his face, “Babe, I love you, but I think you’ve deafened me.”

I pouted at his tone and crossed my arms, “You’re such a grump.”

“Oh whatever.” He smiled, “You ready?”

I smiled at him and nodded.

Ever since his band, Sidekick Heart, began to pick up traction, he had less free time and our full-day dates once a week soon became date nights every few weeks. Most of his time was spent writing songs, producing them, and practicing endlessly. The fact that he had a tour coming up soon just meant he had even less spare time. I was happy for him, of course, but I couldn’t hide my disappointment that he was leaving.

In middle school, he and three of his friends formed a band for fun, which they kept with all throughout high school. They got good, really good and almost right after they graduated they were signed by a label. Now, three years later, they’d already released two albums and one EP and earned enough money to make a living, which was why Yunho dropped out of college a month ago. Since he had steady career path, he saw no reason to continue and decided to focus on music. He still visited me at college whenever he got the chance, but his visits were becoming more and more sporadic.

We started dating freshman year of college. We had our difficulties as most couples do, but everyday I thanked the stars for pairing us together. I met him on the first day of French class, a day I know I could never forget, no matter how how our future played out.

I sat my backpack on the table in front of me, looking around the empty classroom. I was ten minutes early, so I wasn’t surprised about the lack of students. It was a bit unlikely for me to be so early, but I wasn’t able to sleep the night before and so I had extra time to get ready. With nothing else to do, I took out my phone, reading some missed text messages.

I heard the door open and my head tilted upwards, meeting eyes with a fluffy-haired brunet. He shyly smiled at me and I returned the gesture. The man took a seat in the front row across from me, only a few chairs in between us. I found it cute that he liked to sit in the front of the classroom, too. Very few people did. He turned away from me to place his backpack on the floor and take out a few books. I took the opportunity to look at him. He was attractive, for sure. His short sleeved solid black shirt followed his movements, tattoos peaking through his top. The shirt itself tucked was into ripped jeans, his black shoes matching the outfit, along with various accoutrements. His look was uncommon for college students, most just wore sweatpants with with a casual shirt. I thanked myself for dressing nice that day.

I tilted my head to get a better look at his side profile. He was so handsome that I seemed to forget I was staring. I couldn’t help but get caught up in him, not realizing that I was no longer being subtle.

He spoke without moving to face me, “You’re pretty cute, too.”

“I-I what?” My eyes widened, realizing I’d been caught.

He turned, a charming smile on his face, “You aren’t exactly discreet.”

I took a breath, trying to form a coherent sentence, “Well...can you blame me?”

He pursed his lips, trying to hide a smile, “I appreciate the compliment. What’s your name?”

I hesitated before answering him, which brought a full smile to his face. He moved closer to me before holding out his hand for me to shake. I grabbed his hand and shook it, trying to keep my hands steady. His hand was soft, clearly he took care of himself.

“I’m Yunho.”

I smiled, observing the way he lit up as he turned my hand, placing a delicate kiss on my skin. I felt my face heat up and averted my eyes. Yunho chuckled as he released my hand. Both of us looked up at the sound of the door opening, a group of students entered, followed by a lady who I presumed to be the teacher.

Yunho looked at me, “Meet me after class?”

I nodded, biting my lip as I felt excitement build in my stomach, wanting nothing more than for class to end as soon as possible.

The instant the teacher ended her lecture she left with the rest of the students, who were talking among themselves. My eyes flickered to Yunho to find him looking back at me, his backpack now thrown over his shoulders.

“You have any classes after this?” He asked in a nonchalant manner. Later he confessed to me that he was far more nervous than he appeared, claiming that he fell in love with me at first sight.

I finished placing my notebook in my bag, zipping it up and putting the straps over my arms, “Yeah, unfortunately. I’ve got World Politics in ten minutes.” 

“Aww damn. I was hoping we could grab some food.” He reached into his pants’ pocket, pulling out his phone, “Maybe I could get your number instead and we could meet up later?” He wasn’t pushy or demanding, simply asking.

I nodded quickly, “I’d like that, Yunho.”

He suddenly became more shy, the tips of his ears dusting a beautiful shade of pink, “I like the way you say my name.”

I giggled, trying to hide my own shyness. I took his phone and entered my number, really hoping that he would text me. As if he read my mind, he confirmed what I was thinking.

“I’ll text you,” He looked at me with sparkling eyes before shaking his head, like he was pulled back to reality, “Oh uh...you should probably get to class.“ He raised a hand, somewhat awkwardly scratching the back of his head.

“Yeah I probably should. I’ll see you around?”

He smiled, “I’ll see ya.”

-

It wasn’t long before he texted me, and it made my heart flutter that he kept his word. A day later we met up, grabbing ice cream and getting to know each other. He was a dance major and had to practically beg his parents to let him pursue dance. In return they said he had to repay them with getting straight A’s. He had one younger brother who was possibly the biggest baseball fan to ever exist, he roomed with three men he’d been friends with since kindergarten, and he absolutely adored my brown eyes.

“They’re just beautiful.” Yunho gushed, “Both times I’ve seen you they just sparkle and shine like they’ve got their own little galaxies in them. I’ve never seen anyone with such genuine, kind eyes.”

I let out a girly laugh at the compliment and covered my mouth with a hand, “You’re really trying to flatter me, aren’t you?”

“Depends. Is it working?” He laughed as he propped his head on one of his hands, leaning closer to me in the booth we were sitting in. We’d finished our ice cream long ago, now shamelessly flirting and getting lost in each other.

“It might be.”

“Well I do mean it. I’m not only trying to flatter you.”

The ringing of his phone caught our attention. He smiled apologetically and reached for the device. He sighed, reading the contact name and looking back up at me.

“I’m sorry I’ve gotta take this. It’s one of my roommates and it’s entirely possible they’ve set the house on fire.”

I laughed, “It’s okay, go ahead.”

Yunho excused himself as he answered the call, walking outside. I took a look around the shop we were in, smiling at all the decorations when I noticed a woman sitting alone, eating ice cream and staring at me. Her eyes were such an ice blue that they made her intimidating, to say the least. I wasn’t too surprised, I’d dressed nice and all throughout the day I’d been getting looks. Taking it as a compliment I smiled at her and waited for Yunho to return.

“So good news,” He started as he sat back down in the booth, running a hand through his hair, which was way more attractive than it should’ve been, “They haven’t burnt down the apartment, but San—he’s one of my roommates—his car ran out of gas a few miles away from here so I’ve gotta go help him. Can I drive you back to your own apartment first?”

“Oh no, I don’t want to worry you.” I waved a hand, “I can have a friend pick me up.”

He nodded, “If you’re more comfortable with that, sure, but I’d rather drive you home, if that’s okay.”

I nodded, walking with him as he guided me out to his car. We had our first kiss when he dropped me off, leaving me with the promise of another date, and he delivered. Time and time again he proved he truly cared about me, which inevitably led to a relationship.

We heard a loud crashing in the basement of the house and Yunho let out a frustrated groan, “Oh god it’s happening again.”

He walked over to the basement door, opening it and sighing at the loud yells emitting from below.

“What is it this time?” Yunho shouted.

Wooyoung’s voice rung out, “San won’t let me use the controller!”

The man in front of me placed a hand over his eyes, over the situation entirely, “You’re still fighting over that game?”

“Crash Bandicoot waits for no man!”

“San let him have the controller or I’ll come down there and I’ll beat both of your asses!” Yunho shut the door, giving me a tired smile and walking back to me, “You’d think we would’ve outgrown this stage by now. I’d fire them both and hire a new bassist and drummer if I could.”

“Okay that’s an absolute lie, and you say that like you’re any better. I saw you arguing with Seonghwa over the last bag of chips yesterday.”

He pointed a finger at me, not trying to hide the smile on his face, “Okay that was absolutely valid. I bought those and they were mine.”

I smirked. “My point still stands.”

He rolled his eyes playfully, changing the subject, “How about after our date I sing you a couple of our new songs?” He leaned closer, his lips barely grazing my ear, “I wrote a few about you.”

I pulled back from him, feeling warmth spread in my chest. “Really? You did?”

Yunho wrapped an arm around my waist, “How could I not? You’re always my inspiration.”

I let out a string of incoherent gibberish which prompted the most adorable eye smiles from my boyfriend. I felt too honored to put my emotions into words.

“Go on.” Yunho motioned to the front door, “Grab your purse and head out to my car. I’ll let the guys know we’re going and I’ll meet you outside.”

I gave him a salute, “You got it cap’n!”

His eyes warmed, “God, I love you.”

“I know!” I teased before I grabbed my purse and skipped out of the house. The sun would be setting soon and I admired the several hues that were painted within the sky. I sat on the hood of his car, swinging my feet as I saw him walk out of the house.

“So where exactly are we going?” I tilted my head, looking forward to his response.

“Well I’ve got a couple ideas.” He held up his long fingers and counted off on them, “We could go bowling, or we could have a late night picnic, or maybe...” He moved closer, placing his hands on either side of me with a mischievous grin, “We could go swimming.”

My face lit up, “I haven’t been swimming in forever!”

“I know, that’s why I recommended it.” He laughed, “Let’s break into the swimming pool downtown. It’s definitely closed by now so we can be alone.”

I raised my brows at his words, a smile widening on my face, “Don’t we need to bring swimsuits, though?”

Yunho grinned at me and moved a hand to ruffle my hair, “Nope. We’re going without ‘em.” He lifted me off his car, “Hop in, babe.”

-

We approached the fence with our hands interlocked, a new message greeting us. A red and black sign with the words ‘No Trespassing’ was attached haphazardly to one of the metal wires looped through the fence surrounding the pool.

Yunho tsked, “Aw that’s cute. Like that’s gonna keep us out. This is basically our pool anyways.” 

I laughed, both of us knowing full well there was no method of security beyond the sign and fence. The pool had never installed security cameras and after word spread that the owner had a fear of advancing technology, we had no worry of being caught.

He cupped his hands, holding them out for me to step on. I placed my foot on his hands as he lifted me up, helping me scale the fence. I stepped back, feeling a thrill as Yunho jumped over. It was probably the fourth or fifth time we’d done this, but each time was just as exciting. We walked over to the edge of the pool, its light blue water and the dark blue of the sunset opposing one another but making a beautiful visual.

“Alright, off we go.” Yunho’s fingers danced to the hem of my shirt, then pulling it off and ridding me of the layer of clothing. He pressed several kisses to the exposed skin, making me shiver.

Yunho then pulled back from me, slowly removing his shirt and giving me a teasing look when he caught me staring at his abs, “I look good, don’t I?”

“Shut up,” I laughed, lightly slapping his strong, tattooed arm before removing my skirt, enjoying the way my boyfriend’s eyes devoured me. I returned the action when I saw him remove his jeans, something he was clearly enjoying as well.

I turned back to the pool only to be thrown over Yunho’s shoulders. He let out a string of laughs as I struggled to get down, fearing that he would throw me into the water.

“If you throw me into the pool I’ll kill you!” I laughed, squirming on his shoulders.

“No...I would never do something like that.” I wasn’t even facing him, but I could hear the smile in his voice, which was my only indication that he was about to throw me into pool.

Before I could try to make any sort of escape, he tossed me into the water. It was cold, but less cold than I expected it to be. I coughed up a bit of water as I resurfaced and when I opened my eyes I squinted at Yunho, annoyed at how attractive he looked with the evil smirk on his face.

“You’re a jerk.” I said with no venom behind my words.

“Yeah, yeah. Brace yourself I’m coming in.”

I barely had time to move before he jumped in, his legs tucked to his chest. “Cannonball!”

I moved my hands in front of my face to block the wave of water coming my way, not feeling any surprise about my boyfriend’s childish behavior. When he resurfaced he faced me with a smile, wading towards me, embracing me in his arms, and wrapping my legs around his waist. He was so tall that he could reach the bottom of the pool without having to swim, unlike me, where I was no near reaching the bottom and needed to swim in place. With a satisfied hum he pressed several wet kisses to my neck.

“I love you,” he mumbled, his voice muffled by my skin.

“I love you too, babe.” I hesitated before I said my next words, still overwhelmed at how strong my feelings were for him, “You’re the love of my life.”

He pulled back with a bright smile on his face, his eyes shining almost as if he was tearing up, “I knew you were the love of my life the moment I saw you. And you’re all mine.” Yunho said before he placed a delicate kiss to my lips.

“All yours, babe.”

His long fingers danced along my sides, grabbing at my hips as he began to attack my chest with kisses. I giggled as the feeling of his stubble tickled my skin.

“You know, you really ‘oughta shave before you get a full beard.”

“Why? Are you saying I wouldn’t look good with one?”

I cupped his face, “You’d look amazing with one, but I thought you didn’t like beards, babe?”

“Hate ‘em.” Yunho’s laugh echoed around us, “Really weird that men can grow them in the first place. But anyways...”

His hands made quick work of my bra, letting it sink to the bottom of the pool. I opened my mouth to scold him but before I could his mouth latched to my right nipple, sucking and nipping on it in a way that made my hands seek out his hair and tug harshly at his locks. Letting out a growl, Yunho placed one hand on the the pool wall for balance and the other on my back, drawing abstract shapes there.

Yunho moved to my other nipple, giving it the same treatment and smiling when he heard my moans. In a flash he removed his hand from my back and pressed me against the pool wall, his hand now traveling to my panties.

As he removed the final item of clothing he ran a finger over my clit, giggling to himself. I gave him a look and he clarified, “Babe, you’re wet enough to fill an entire swimming pool.”

I groaned, pressing my head into his chest, “You make that same god awful joke every time we come here.”

“And as such I couldn’t let tradition die.”

“Shut up and fuck me.” I laughed, promptly helping him out of his boxers.

He continued to tease me after, switching between playing with my clit and stretching me out with his long fingers. By the time he finally gave in, I was a whimpering, pathetic mess, begging for more.

As he aligned with my walls he looked at me with delicate eyes, “Ready, little flower?”

I nodded quickly, chanting ‘yes’ over and over. Yunho once again placed a hand on the wall and hooked one of my legs over his waist, allowing him to thrust deeper inside me. He held my hand with his free one, a simple action that always melted my heart. Despite how long we’d been together, I would always get overwhelmed by him so easily. Everything about him exuded such a strong aura that sometimes just the smallest kiss would leave me breathless. The first time we were intimate he took his hand in mine and assured me he would be gentle, and every time since he’s held my hand. It wouldn’t feel right without our hands together.

“Shit—it’s been way too long since we’ve done this.” I said as he snapped his hips into mine, quickly repeating the action.

“God I know.” He let out a pained groan at the thought of it, “Four months is gonna be fucking awful without you.”

“Guess we’ll have to make do with what we’ve got now.”

“Guess we will.”

The sounds of water splashing and the echos of our moans, a symphony I had become so familiar with, was gradually reaching its crescendo. It was getting harder to keep my eyes open but I forced them to be, needed to memorize everything about this moment. The sweat dripping down Yunho’s forehead, the tattooed muscles he was flexing, the sounds and praise he was emitting, and pleasure we were both feeling--I wouldn’t see nor feel this for the next four months.

A particular snap of his hips had me seeing stars and I called out to him, letting him know I was close. Within minutes, both of us were panting and reeling from our highs. Yunho pressed his nose against mine and both of us closed our eyes, enjoying each other’s presence.

“How come every time we come here it ends in sex?” I giggled.

He blinked and moved a strand of wet hair out of my face, “Because you’re hot and barely wearing any clothes and no one’s around.”

I blushed at his compliment, “I mean like I’m not complaining or anything.”

A cocky smile formed on Yunho’s face, “Well it certainly didn’t sound like you were a moment ago.”

“Yunho!”

The man laughed, lifting me up and spinning me around in the pool before cradling me in his arms.

“I hate to say it, but we do need to head back. The world awaits for us, I’m afraid.”

I sighed, pressing into his chest, “I’m gonna miss you.”

He stilled as he pulled me closer, “I’m gonna miss you, too. You don’t have to miss me yet, though.”

“I know.” I swallowed, wishing I had something more to say.

“Come on, then.” Yunho gave me a quick kiss, “Let’s head back.”

-

Yunho held the front door open for me, giving me a gentle slap on my ass when I walked through. I turned around and gave him a playfully annoyed look, which he only laughed at.

As we walked towards the living room, the sound of a random sitcom filled our ears. Six heads turned our way after hearing our footsteps. Seonghwa was resting his head against his long-time girlfriend. She was a sweet girl and complimented him more than any woman I’d seen him with. They really were soulmates, if they ever existed.

San was sitting holding hands with a man he’d been interested in for awhile. I’d often see him flirting with various men and women, but he never went any further than that, too afraid of commitment. This man; however, seemed to breaking through San’s walls. I really hoped they would work out, San deserved someone as kind as him.

Wooyoung sat across from the them, who acknowledged us first.

“Hey guys. Have fun?” Wooyoung asked, smiling at my soaked hair. He had his arm around a woman I’d never seen before and I was certain that none of us would ever see her again. He had the reputation of a playboy, and every poor woman thought they’d be the one exception, the one to make him stay. I’m sure the allure of being a drummer in a band was part of his appeal, too. Maybe one day, like San, he’d settle down.

The woman became visibly upset when Wooyoung looked me with a teasing glance. Feeling sympathy for her, I decided to do my best to calm her nerves.

I spoke for us, linking hands with my boyfriend. “Yeah, we did. I think we’re gonna go clean up though.” I looked at the woman, “I’m y/n, by the way. I’m Yunho’s girlfriend.”

She didn’t even try to hide the relief on her face. “Oh! I’m Solar. It’s nice to meet you.”

“Yeah,” Wooyoung started, “Best girlfriend he’s ever had. Much better for him than Lucy.”

Yunho glared at the man, “Thought we agreed not to bring her up?”

Lucy, the woman Yunho dated before me, was arguably the scariest person I’d ever heard about. They dated for roughly three months before she became obsessive, to the point where Yunho had to get a restraining order against her. She threatened to hurt all of Yunho’s friends and family, all because she wanted Yunho all to herself. That was about all Yunho ever told me about her. Not that I complained. I didn’t exactly want to discuss his exes, even more so when they were that crazy.

I never told him, but I knew I saw her the first date we went on. I could see the way her piercing, ice eyes saw through me. I had no doubt it was her. I just hope I’d never see her again. Maybe now that she saw he was taken she’d leave us alone. There was an uncomfortable silence following, none of us knowing what to say until San spoke.

“You look like a wet dog, Yunho.” San joked, prompting laughter from a few of us, which seemed like more of a noise of relief rather than one of actual humor.

“Yeah, yeah.” My boyfriend relaxed his shoulders, “I think we’re gonna head in for the night so don’t make too much noise.” Waving them goodbye he caught up with me, placing a hand around my waist.

“Shower with me, doll.”

I placed a hand on his chest, “I would love to.”

-

I came out of the shower wearing my favorite large shirt of Yunho’s, drying my wet hair with a towel. The smell of chlorine had gone away for the most part; whatever chemicals the owner put in that pool always made the smell harder to get rid of. Only a small price to pay, I figured.

My boyfriend, who was much quicker than I was, looked up from his phone as he was splayed out across his bed. His tired eyes smiled at me while motioning me over. Yunho’s own hair was still drying and with his bare face and crooked smile, he was as handsome as he could ever be.

“Hey there.”

“Hey, sweetheart.” He reached an arm out to me, pulling me against him when I took his hand, “How ya feeling?”

“Tired.” I hummed, sleepily smiling against his neck.

“Too tired to listen to the song I wrote for you?”

“No! Not at all.”

Yunho chuckled, slowly brushing my hair aside and turning his head to look at me. As he had countless times, he took a breath before he turned to me, beginning to sing.

“You give me fireworks

I’ll give you the kindest words, my dear

Your love caught me

The moment I met your eyes

And how could I not fall?

Your heart bared, no disguise”

I fought to stay awake although his melodic voice seemed to be lulling me to sleep. I felt myself losing consciousness, but managed to catch the last few lyrics he sang to me.

“Now I sunbathe in the daybreak

Half asleep, half awake

Writing this song

As I hope I’ll dream of you”

Yunho brushed his fingertips brush against my face before he spoke, “Goodnight, flower.”

I muttered some form of a “goodnight” before I felt sleep take over me, nuzzling happily against my boyfriend.

-

I woke up in a panic, unsure why my heart was beating so fast until I looked at the clock. Eleven in the morning. I was an hour later than I should’ve been at my job. It seemed that even unconscious my body knew I was late.

“Oh shit I’m gonna be late for work!” I spoke with wide eyes.

Jumping from Yunho’s bed I stripped myself of his shirt and quickly threw my clothes on. The body that laid beside me stirred, moving the covers aside.

“Are you leaving?” He asked sleepily, his face puffy from sleep and an adorable pout on his lips.

I frowned, “Yeah. I’m sorry we didn’t get to spend more time together, babe.”

He shook his head, “Don’t worry about it. Both of us slept in.”

I tied my hair back, sighing. I was so caught up in my thoughts I almost missed Yunho’s question.

“Sorry what was that?”

He smiled, “You’re coming to our going away party tomorrow, right?”

“Of course. I wouldn’t miss it for the world.” I moved back to the bed and hugged him, feeling my heart sink. I was proud of him, I really was, yet couldn’t help but feel sad that I wouldn’t see him for so long.

This was the longest tour they’d ever gone on and we’d never been apart from each other that long before. I trusted him and I was confident in our relationship, but realistically, all members of Sidekick Heart were attractive young men and a good portion of their fans were female. I was far more concerned about the female audience doing something than I was about Yunho making a move on another woman.

With one last squeeze of his shoulders I pulled back, goodbyes beginning to fall from my lips before Yunho pulled me back.

“I need a goodbye kiss.”

I pressed my lips together with a smile, gladly indulging him. Giving him one last kiss against the lips, I bid him farewell until the following day.

-

“So how was work?” My roommate asked as I walked in the house, propping her feet up on our couch and tossing a kernel of corn into her mouth, the lighting of the TV illuminating her blanket-covered body.

I sighed, sitting down on the floor next to her, “Other than being an hour and a half late and missing an important meeting I think it went okay. I’m just glad the day’s over.” Rubbing a hand over my face I turned to her, “What about you? How was your day?”

“Pretty damn good actually.” She smiled, removing the blanket and showing me the new ink on her upper arm. It was an assortment of flowers and matched her bubbly personality perfectly. They were now the fifth adornment on her beautiful dark skin, each one of them tempting me more and more to get a few of my own.

“Another one already, Tiff?”

“Listen, you’ll know how addicting they get as soon as you get your first.”

“You sound so confident that I will.”

“Oh I know you will. You’re dating a rockstar, after all. Not to mention he’s the goddamn lead singer and has tattoos of his own.”

“Shut up.” I giggled, “Speaking of, are you coming to the farewell party tomorrow?”

“I plan on it, but I’ll probably be there a couple hours late. My dad’s flying into town for the weekend so I plan on visiting first. I’m definitely coming though.”

I hummed, “Yeah, don’t worry too much about it. We all know it’ll go till sunrise anyway.”

She let out a loud laugh, likely remembering the last party of theirs we went to where she ended up more drunk than I’d ever seen her. She claims she remembers flashes of the night; playing strip beer pong and being dared to steal one of the neighbor’s bushes—which, after much convincing from those who were sober, she decided against it—but didn’t recall half of the hilarious memories of her the rest of us did. Personally, my favorite was watching her hold a tomato soup can and cry over the fact that it could never have children.

Tiff let out a yawn as she stretched her arms above her head, turning in my direction. Her words were muffled by her yawn as she spoke, “Imma go to bed now. You good before I go?”

I smiled at her, “Yeah I’m good. I won’t stay up too much longer, just need to go through my nightly routine of looking at the stars, ya know, the usual.”

She nodded, wrapping the blanket around her and heading to her bedroom, “Sleep well, babe. I’ll see ya tomorrow.”

“Back at ya.”

It was a habit of mine, gazing at the night sky before sleeping. It gave me comfort knowing that out there, somewhere, there was something else out there with me. Almost like I wasn’t going through everything alone.

I set my purse down when I reached our kitchen, reaching for a tea pot and tea bags, brainlessly brewing my favorite tea as I thought of what Yunho might be doing right now. It was probably most likely that he was practicing for their tours, but I could only hope he was getting a little bit of rest.

I stepped out onto our porch to look at the stars with a cup of tea in my hands, the night sky twinkling with all the stars it could offer. A slight breeze rustled my hair and I closed my eyes, thankful for the pleasant weather. I heard a sudden snap of a branch and my eyes quickly opened as I searched out property for any sign of an aggressive animal. My eyes finally landed on a human-like figure. Feeling adrenaline run though me, I decided to confront whoever or whatever it was.

“Who are you? What are you doing here?” I spoke, my voice loud but not quite a yell.

The figure took off it’s hood to show their face, and I saw a familiar pair of ice blue eyes, though I hadn’t seen them in years, “I’m here to see you, of course.”

My brain quickly connected her to the woman I hoped I’d never see again.

Lucy.

“Well I don’t want to see you. Leave.”

She pressed a hand to her chest, feigning offense, “But I came all this way! Just to...say hello.”

I took a step towards her, hoping that if I appeared confrontational she would leave me alone. “I don’t know who you are, now please leave. I’m not going to say it again.”

“Oh, you poor girl. You really think you have the upper hand?” She pulled out a knife, and walked towards me at impressive speed, pointing the weapon at my throat. “I know you’ve been seeing Yunho. I. Don’t. Like. That.” She emphasized every word of the last sentence, anger woven within her voice.

I wanted to fight back. Everything in me was screaming to fight back, but I knew I had no chance. I had no idea what she was capable of, and I didn’t dare to find out.

“I dated him first and he’s still mine. You’re going to break up with him, you hear me?” She screamed in my ear, the sound shaking me to my core, “I never want to see you near him again.” She grabbed my jaw harshly, forcing my eyes to lock with hers. “I bet he doesn’t even love you.”

My eyes watered. I knew she was wrong, but with the adrenaline coursing through my veins and the harshness of her words I began to doubt myself.

Her grip tightened and I let out a yelp, “He loves me and I love him. He’s always loved me, not you. Why would he ever love a thing like you?”

She then threw me to the ground, towering over me, “Break up with him. Make him hate you. If you don’t,” She squatted down next to me, once more pointing the knife at my throat, “I’ll kill him myself and make you watch. Then,” She cocked her head, a crazed smile plastered on her face, “I’ll kill you. If I can’t have him, no one can.” She stood, smirking at me, “And you know I will.”

She kicked me in the stomach, watching as I crawled into myself, groaning from the pain. I closed my eyes, hoping she wouldn’t hurt me any more than she already had.

“I’ll be watching you at the party tomorrow. Do it then. Break his heart. I’ll kill him then and there if you don’t.” She looked down at me and scoffed, “And I’ll be bringing friends to make sure the job gets done.”

I carefully opened my eyes to see her stepping over me, walking back into the darkness from which she came. I scrambled back into my house, hyperventilating from the interaction I just had.

I spent the night crying, not able to sleep even for a minute. I tried to think rationally, but there were just too many variables. How many ‘friends’ was she bringing? Would she really kill Yunho in front of everyone? Where would she be watching me from? Is she watching me now?

I could text or call Yunho to let him know, but where would we go from there? He’d want to meet me and she’d kill him instantly. Right?

“Maybe I could pull him aside at the party and warn him?” I murmured to myself, “No, she could probably see that. Maybe there’s people actually at the party who are looking out for us, too.” I covered my face with my hands and fell back into my pillows, weeping as I knew I had to break up with the love of my life.

-

Choosing to wear a yellow dress honestly couldn’t have been more ironic. Yellow was supposed to be a happy color. A color of hope and yearning, innocence and warm days full of laughter. It was the complete antithesis of how I felt and what I knew I had to do. Even worse, the weather was perfect. It was sunny, but not so much to make it unbearable outside. Everything about today made my insides twist.

I took a breath at the door of Yunho’s house, bracing myself for what I had to do. Knocking a few times I heard a commotion inside before the man I came to see opened the door. His smile had never been bigger.

“Baby!” He cheered, pulling me into a bear hug and ruffling my styled hair, “I’m so excited you’re here!”

He looks so ecstatic. And I have to break him.

The thought crushed me and brought tears to my eyes, but I couldn’t let him die. I knew she was serious, I didn’t doubt that for a moment. I grabbed Yunho’s arm, pulling him outside and away from everyone in the house.

I looked at the ground as I felt my lips begin to quiver, “I’m sorry. I just need to get this over with.”

Yunho bent down to meet my eyes, “Hey, hey. What’s going on sweetheart?” His voice was gentle, one of his hands coming to rub the tears from my face, “I’m here for you, whatever it is.”

I looked down, unable to look him in the eyes. I hated myself more than I’d ever hated anyone. “I don’t love you, Yunho.” My hands began to shake beyond my control, my own body knowing I was making a mistake.

“W-what?” Yunho’s voice cracked. A moment of silence passed before he let out a hollow laugh, “Baby, you don’t mean that-”

I looked up at him and immediately wished I hadn’t. Tears were welling in his eyes, his own hands beginning to shake.

“I said I don’t love you Yunho!” I said louder than I intended, “Not anymore. I don’t want to be with you. I’m sorry.”

He took a step back and I noticed his hands clenching, something he always did to keep himself from crying.

“If that’s what you want,” Tears fell from his eyes before he finished his sentence, “Then I’ll support your decision.” He looked to the side, not knowing what else to say.

I wanted nothing more than to throw myself in his arms and explain everything, tell him that I’ve never stopped loving him, not even for a second, but I couldn’t. Instead, I wiped away my tears with the back of my hand and looked at him one last time. He was so fucking handsome, so goddamn kind, and here I was doing this to him. Maybe he did deserve someone better.

“Good luck with your tour, Yunho. I know you’ll be fantastic.”

I turned and walked away from him quickly, leaving the house and ignoring the stare I could feel on me. I ran across the yard to my car, starting the engine and leaning my head against the steering wheel. I felt myself lose all oxygen in my body, the only option left to take large gasps of air. My vision was so clouded by tears I couldn’t even see anymore. I’d just lost myself along with my other half. I’d never felt as empty as I did in that moment.

Just then I heard a knocking on my window. I half-hardheartedly lifted my head and felt my heart lurch. Yunho was standing outside my car, eyes red and puffy, looking at me like I was the last person he’d ever see. I opened my car without thinking, my breathing still as uneven as before.

Yunho spoke, his voice coarse and distant, “I’m not asking you to change your mind, but I need you to know that I have always loved you and I always will. That will never change.”

I wiped the snot from my nose but didn’t bother to try and fix the mascara I knew was streaming down my face. I knew I had to look horrible, but he still held so much love for me that it was easy to see in his eyes. I fought myself to not reply, knowing that if I’d open my mouth all I’d say was ‘I love you’ over and over again.

“Is it too out of line to ask for a last hug?” He smiled sadly as more tears poured from his eyes.

I shook my head, running into his arms and embracing him. I felt like I made a mistake the moment I did because I could smell him. He was wearing the cologne I bought him for his birthday. His warm, sturdy chest...everything about him felt like home.

“Goodbye, Yunho.”

-

I arrived at home alone, tears still stinging my eyes. Tiff was nowhere to be found and I couldn’t decide if I was thankful or sad for the fact that she wasn’t there. I barely made it out to our porch before collapsing once again, finding it harder and harder to breathe. I didn’t know how long I was sitting there, it could’ve been one hour or three, but given the setting sun it looked like it was the latter. Once more I heard a noise outside our home, and once more the female figure appeared before me.

“You did good,” Lucy said, twirling her knife in her hands, “Dare I say I’m proud of you.”

“I don’t ever want to see you here again.” I cried, “I did what you want now get the fuck away from me.”

“My, my. You have quite the mouth on you, don’t you?” She tsked, “But you did as I asked, so I might as well comply. Don’t; however, think that you can go crawling back to Yunho and tell him about this. I’ll keep watching you and if you decide to do just that...I’ll follow through with my promise.”

I kept my eyes on the ground, convinced that if I looked up at her I’d attempt to rip the hair out of her head. No anger I had ever felt before could surmount to the rage I was feeling.

“Nonetheless, it was a pleasure doing business with you, miss.”

As soon as she came, she was gone. When I finally let myself look up, I could no longer see her, only darkness. Once again, I was alone.

-

Six months had passed since I broke up with Yunho and today officially made the third new date I’d went on. All of them were absolutely horrible. It wasn’t even that the guys were mean or rude or weren’t attractive, they just weren’t him.

Why am I even trying to move on?

I looked at myself in the mirror. My eyes looked heavy, the bags under my eyes ever prominent. I couldn’t fool myself. I’d never be able to be with another man again. I forced myself to hold back tears and reached back to untie my hair, preparing to take a bath in hopes that it would take my mind off of things.

I began to run the warm water as I reached for several candles, lighting them and placing them around the room, trying to forget the entire day altogether. As I waited for the tub to fill I grabbed my phone, opening Instagram for no other reason than to have something to do. Although Yunho and I broke up, I still followed their band account, as well as their individual accounts. Seonghwa, San, and Wooyoung were still my friends, after all. Yunho was the only exception. Both of us unfollowed each other early on just because it was too painful. I didn’t hold it against him and hoped he didn’t hold it against me either.

Regardless, my eyes found the most recent post on Sidekick Heart’s account. All four members were shirtless, their hair dripping wet with goofy smiles plastered on their faces. They were standing by a pool, the same one Yunho and I would often break into. I noticed Yunho first, how could I not? His smile wasn’t as wide as the other’s, his eyes a bit colder, but he looked happy all the same. He looked good. Really, really good. He was always fit while we were dating, but he gained more muscle since I last saw him and it didn’t go unnoticed by their fans, either. I clicked the comment section against my better judgement, knowing what I was going to see before I even did so.

“Yunho looks like a fucking goddd”

“So Yunho’s still single right??”

“Yunhooo hmu I beg you”

“Jesus Christ Yunho break me please”

A surge of jealousy rushed through me. I hated when girls said those things when we were together, but now that we were apart it made it even worse. I had no right to be jealous, and that was the worst part.

The water reached my leg that was resting on the side of the tub and I scrambled to turn off the faucet. Doing my best to push the images from my mind I placed my phone aside and stripped from my clothes, settling in the water. I sighed as some water fell out of the side of the tub. It wasn’t a terrible thing to happen, but it seemed to just be another thing to go wrong.

My eyes wandered back to my phone, Instagram still open and the picture I was looking at earlier still on display. He was so fucking hot and seeing that he was standing next to that pool—our pool—made my brain short circuit. I couldn’t stop my thoughts from taking me back to the last night we broke in, the way we teased each other and how it inevitably led to sex. It seemed I had no control over my body as my dominant hand slipped between my legs.

But as much as I wanted it to be, it wasn’t the same. My fingers weren’t as long or slender as his and just nothing about our touches were the same, but the image of him just made my hormones rage. Every ounce of me craved him.

My fingers swirled around my clit, a bundle of pleasure shooting through me at the action. I closed my eyes, letting my body take over and repeat the motions and much as I fought not to, my brain kept replaying scenes of two of us again, and again, and again.

“Such a good girl, aren’t you?” Yunho spoke as I sunk down on his dick, barely finding the energy to lift myself up again even though the noises he made were like shots of espresso.

“Aww, is my baby getting tired?” He cooed, jerking his hips into mine.

“It’s not fair!” I whined, “I’m not good at this and you know it.”

“But we wouldn’t be a good couple if we didn’t encourage each other to work hard, right? Up you go, flower.”

I whimpered and pouted, but still obeyed him. Taking pity on me, Yunho grabbed my waist and lifted me, relaxing his grip as I moved downward. I made a noise that wasn’t understood by Yunho, but it didn’t go unnoticed.

“What was that?”

“Please. More. I need you so bad.” I begged.

Yunho laughed, “I really do have you wrapped around my finger, don’t I?”

I nodded before remembering that he’d probably prefer a verbal answer, “Yes. I’m w-wrapped around your finger.”

He let out a noise of satisfaction before flipping us over into a position so that he would have full control. I grabbed the bedsheets roughly, so much in my own world that I didn’t hear Yunho’s words.

“What was that?” I let out with a series of mewls.

“You’ve got me wrapped around your finger, too, you know? I don’t go an hour without thinking about you anymore. I can’t even have a single conversation without bringing you up. Anytime someone says your name my heart beats out of my damn chest. You’re the only woman for me.”

My legs shook as my high approached, barely able to breathe at it’s intensity. It took me a minute before I could even remember where I was. As I came to my senses, I felt tears biting at my eyes and this time I didn’t bother to hold them back. I watched as they streamed down my face and joined the now-cold water surrounding me. I brought my hands up to cover my eyes, glad Tiff wasn’t home to hear my wailing. She’d been good about staying with me since the breakup, but tonight she just wasn’t here. The hole in my heart felt even deeper now. I wondered if he found someone, if he was happy now. Hell, maybe it was his ex. The thought tore my heart out and ripped it in two. I wanted to be happy for him if it was true, but I just couldn’t be. I was still too selfish. I still wanted him to love only me.

-

 New friends, new beginnings or whatever.

That’s apparently what I thought when I began attending more clubs at college after the breakup, meeting new people and eventually finding a really solid friend group. All who happened to really like punk-rock music.

“You should really go with us,” Shang directed his words at me, “There’s a new band popping up that’s playing this weekend. It’s three hours away but they have great music.” 

I sighed, not fully convinced although it did sound fun. The last concert I’d been to was one of Yunho’s and though I hadn’t even seen him in what felt like forever, I still couldn’t help myself from thinking of him anytime someone talked about concerts. Sensing my apprehension, the woman beside me spoke up.

“Road trip! Road trip! Road trip!” Tyra chanted in my ear, her black curls bouncing with her as she clapped her hands between the words. “Come on, it would be so much fun and you know it.”

I bit my lip, deep in thought. I knew I would have fun but I just didn’t know if that would outweigh the pain I would feel.

“What’s the band name?” I asked, looking at Shang.

“Honestly?” He scratched the back of his head, “I was a little drunk when I told one of my friends I’d be there so I don’t even remember what they’re called.”

“How do you know they have great music, then?” I laughed, Tyra agreeing with me, apparently not knowing who was playing when she agreed either.

“I mean, my brother listens to their music and he’s got good music taste so they’ve gotta be good.”

I closed my eyes as I felt an oncoming headache, knowing they wouldn’t accept no as an answer. “Fuck it.” I stated, “I’ll go.”

The two cheered, Shang promising that I’d enjoy myself. I doubted it, truthfully, but really it was decided that I’d go the moment the pair brought the idea up to me.

-

Our trio waded through the giant crowd as the doors opened to let us into the venue. It was big, one of the larger concerts I’ve been to. Whoever we were seeing was successful, for sure. The volume at which everyone was speaking was essentially a yell, so I had to do just that to get my messages through.

“I still can’t believe we have no fucking idea who’s playing!” I yelled at Shang.

He laughed, “I got seats towards the front row, though! I didn’t even have to pay for them!”

“That’s not gonna matter if we don’t know any of the lyrics, you dipshit!” Tyra barked.

“Okay okay I should’ve asked, I get that now.”

As we found our way towards the seats, there was a big projector with the words ‘Sidekick Heart’ displayed across it. My heart dropped and I suddenly felt it become hard to breathe.

“You got us tickets to a Sidekick Heart concert?” Tyra beamed, “I love their music and I’m practically in love with San! His vocals are insane! Holy shit, Shang!”

“Ohhhh yeah I remember now.” He chuckled.

I seemed to fade into the background as the two of them discussed their love for the band and the members. All I could think about was seeing Yunho again.

Would he see me? How would he react if he does?...Does he hate me?

I only came back to reality when the audience began to cheer and I saw all the members step onto stage. Seonghwa cradled his electric guitar, in one arm, waving at the audience with the other. Wooyoung plopped down behind the drum set, smiling at the audience while twirling a drumstick. With his bass guitar, San, ever the king of expressions, gave his best smoulder to the audience and it seemed like the audience collectively screamed over him. Then came Yunho out to center stage, his electric guitar in his hands and a smirk on his face as if he knew everyone in the damn building wanted to fuck him. And he’d be right. The spotlights on each of them made them look like actual gods. If I didn’t know them personally I would have thought they were.

Yunho leaned into the mic, his gruff voice taking me by surprise, “Hello everyone! Great to see you all! If you haven’t been to one of our concerts before this is how it’s gonna work: You’re gonna dance, we’re gonna sing, we’re all gonna have a fucking great time tonight!”

The crowd erupted as the first song began to play. It was one of their more popular songs and for good reason. All over it was a really well put together song and I couldn’t help as I began to mouth along to the words. Song after song played, some I knew some I didn’t, and the entire time I couldn’t look away from the man singing. He radiated confidence and looked relaxed as if he’d been performing for decades. I knew he wasn’t as cool as he seemed, I’d given him so many pep talks before performances I couldn’t count them, but as an outsider you’d never know.

I wonder who talked him up this time?

“Alright everyone. This is the last song of the night and-”

The audience booed, everyone upset at the night coming to a close.

Yunho laughed. The sound was rich and beautiful. He was truly enjoying himself. This is what he was meant to do, with or without me. I closed my eyes, willing myself not to cry.

Yunho’s voice filled my ears. “I know, I know. I’d love to stay a bit longer, too. Here’s the thing though...” He paused and I opened my eyes only to see him looking back at me. His eyes automatically softened as they always did when he saw me, but as if he remembered how we ended his gaze hardened slightly, like he was trying to distance himself. It felt like we’d been looking at each other for hours before he opened his mouth to speak again, but I knew very well that my perception of time had been off for a while.

“Even if we only have this little time left, I’ve truly enjoyed the time we’ve spent together. The fact that it’s coming to an end soon is what makes it so special, I think.” Yunho broke eye contact with me, smiling slightly and glancing back out at the sea of people. “Seeing your smiling faces, your energetic cheers—all of it—is a reminder to me that we’re so lucky to be doing this as a job. Really...I love you all.”

The audience let out a chorus of ‘awws’ which was followed by several rather aggressive ‘I love you too’s.

The lead singer once more smiled, “Now, without further adieu, this is one of our newest songs and it’s called Brown Eyes, here it is.”

The music began to play, all instruments coming together to make a somber tune. Somehow they were always able to write music that perfectly encapsulated emotions or ideas. This one? Loss.

“Since you left you’re still so infused

In how I think and what I do

Can’t seem to get you to leave me alone

Your ghost stayed here and she watches my tears

That run down our picture frames”

Then he found me again in the crowd, no doubt able to see the tears staining my makeup, no doubt able to see how broken I was. And still, he sang.

“I’ve tried hard to fight it

Yet I keep givin’ in

There’s been no one but you

I’m trapped, confined

And your platinum smile still knocks me out

Every single time”

He kept eye contact with me, not once breaking his gaze. It was almost as if he wanted me to break first, as if he wanted me to look away before him. As if he was daring me to leave him again.

San stepped closer to his mic and took his eyes away from his bass guitar, Yunho’s voice being replaced by the purple-haired man. As his voice rang out I only could’ve hoped the next lyrics were about one of San ex’s, not me. Even if they weren’t, Yunho still looked at me.

“It’s not aimed at me 

Maybe it never was

But oh darling, you could’ve fooled me”

My eyes flickered down, unable to look at Yunho any longer. His gaze only broke my heart further and in turn I felt my eyes water. After a moment or two, I worked up the courage to look back at him. He was still looking at me like he never moved his eyes. I couldn’t seem to register the lyrics until Yunho began to sing again, his voice drawing me in as it always did.

“You've disappeared without a trace

Left an unsuspecting guise

Love, I need you to know

I’ve been losing far more than sleep

Over those deep chocolate eyes.”

As the song and the show ended and everyone in the crowd cheered, I felt a rush of emotions run through me. Thrilled that they’d become so successful, proud of them for putting on such an amazing show, and hurt because I could still see a sliver of sadness in Yunho’s eyes.

I hurt him.

Yunho then reluctantly said his goodbyes to the audience along with the rest of the members. His jaw tightened as he walked over to Wooyoung, whispering something in his ear before walking off stage. Feeling like I was set in a trance, I grabbed my Tyra’s arm and mumbled something about going to the bathroom before following him. I completely ignored her questions and concerns about where I was going, dead set on talking to him again even though I didn’t have a damn idea what I was going to say.

Somehow, through the giant maze of people, I was able to spot Yunho leaving through the backstage. Instinctively I ran towards him, still having no plan in mind. I only stopped when a purple-headed man appeared before me.

“Y/n!” He smiled, bringing me into a hug, “I missed you so much!” He pulled back from me, “We all did.”

Seonghwa and Wooyoung came from behind me, both wearing sad, kind smiles. They looked healthy and happy, which was all I could’ve asked for them.

“How’ve you been, girl?” Seonghwa cocked his head, genuinely curious.

I hesitated, not sure if I should tell them the truth. But at the end of the day, they were still my friends. “Not...great. If I’m being honest. I was kinda hoping I could talk to Yunho...if I could.”

They all shared a look I couldn’t understand.

Wooyoung spoke up, “We’re having a party at a friend’s house after this, you should come.”

I was surprised, still not fully understanding the situation.

San frowned, “I think it would be good for you two to talk. He didn’t tell us too much about what happened, but I’m sure you had a good reason. You were always so good to all of us.”

“I can text you the address if you’d like,” Wooyoung added, “You still have the same number?”

I nodded.

“Okay, good. We need to get back but we’ll see you there. Take care, okay?”

“I will. Thanks guys.”

San pulled me in for another hug, “Of course.”

They waved as we parted ways and for the first time that night, I felt hopeful. I spotted Shang and Tyra and ran up to them, no doubt a smile on my face as I asked, “Soo...you guys up for a party?”

-

I ditched my friends the moment we arrived, barely even sparing a word with Seonghwa, San, and Wooyoung once they nudged me in the direction of Yunho. I didn’t try to think too much about it, knowing I’d explain it all to them later.

He was standing in an empty bedroom, looking at the floor and sipping out of a red cup which likely contained liquor. When his eyes met mine a rush of memories flooded back to me. The first time we kissed, the first time he confessed he loved me, the first time he saw me cry.

The first time I broke his heart.

His eyes raised to mine, his face stoic, “Enjoy the show?”

My mouth opened and closed, not having any clue what to say to him, “Yunho I-”

“I know why you did it.” He said suddenly, “A week after you left me Lucy showed up to one of our shows and tried to convince me it was all a coincidence. Said that I could finally be with her. When I didn’t buy it she finally gave in and told me she convinced you we were better apart. So naturally I called the cops and they arrested her for breaking the restraining order, thank god.” He shook his head, looking disgusted, “You know I never wanted us to be apart. My question to you,” he took a step further towards me, “is why did you do it? Why did you end us?”

When I couldn’t seem to respond he talked once more, “You could’ve told me what she was trying to do. We could’ve worked it out together.” He looked more disappointed and heartbroken rather than angry.

He doesn’t deserve this. He doesn’t deserve any of this.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry, Yunho.” I bit my tongue as I fought back tears, “I’m not asking for you to forgive me. I-I’m just-” I sobbed, “Lucy told me she would kill you if I kept dating you.”

Yunho’s mouth shut and eyes widened, clearly missing that bit of information. I took it as my cue to continue “I don’t know why she did it, but it’s probably because we were happy.”

More tears fell down my face and it became harder for me to talk, but I owed him the truth. I had to tell him the truth. I looked up at him but because of my tears my vision was blurred. Yunho’s hands were tightening into fists as he looked away from me.

“I couldn’t tell you because I had to protect you so I had to make you hate me and I’m just so sorry.” I fell to the ground, my body feeling as heavy as my heart.

I felt a warm hand on my shoulder and I brought my eyes to meet his own, “I’m sorry.” A tear streamed down his cheek, heavy remorse in his eyes, “God she’s fucking awful.”

A laugh got caught in my throat, “Yeah she is.”

He set his cup down somewhere along the way a his hands cupped my face, finally whispering the words I’d only heard in dreams, “I still love you so fucking much. I never stopped loving you. I never even tried to stop because I know I couldn’t.”

I jumped into his arms and kissed him hard, unintentionally knocking him to the floor. He met my lips with just as much fire, groaning when I unconsciously bucked my hips into his, all my sexual frustration still pent up.

“I missed you so fucking much.” Yunho growled, obviously feeling needy too but deciding against it as he wrapped his arms around my waist, speaking in between kisses, “I missed your cute laugh. I missed your lips. I missed your fucking awful jokes. I missed the way you’d look at me whenever you told me you loved me. I missed your gorgeous body and your smile. I missed your moans and the way you arched your back when we’d have sex. I missed how alive you made me feel.” He pulled back to look at me, “My life had no purpose without you.”

I took a breath, tears once more falling, “Mine didn’t either.” It wasn’t anything profound or emotional, but it was the truth. It didn’t.

Gently picking me up, he placed me on the bed. His eyes were raw, as emotional as they could ever be. Taking my hands in his, he looked at me as if I would disappear at any minute.

“Stay with me. Come with us on the rest of the tour. If you can’t take a vacation we’ll hire you as an assistant. If you can’t do that we’ll make some other kind of accommodation. Just stay, please. Please be mine again.”

I looked at the man in front of me. The tough-looking, six-foot tall, tattooed, strong man that could probably scare the shit out of anyone. Yet here he was, bearing his heart to me and being as vulnerable as a person could be.

I smiled, feeling my heart swell. “I’ve only ever been yours.”

-

The morning was bright, lighting directly hitting my eyes. I cursed myself for not closing the blinds the night before and blinked off my sleep when I heard a familiar pleasant sound.

Jumping down from the bed I put on the new fluffy bathrobe my lover bought me. I followed Yunho’s voice out to my porch, realizing I was listening to a new song of his. The man was strumming a guitar, a beautiful melody falling from his lips. When he noticed me, he smiled and continued to sing.

“I’m in a vivid yellow mood

You’re my muse, my home and room

And now that I have you again

What could I ever fear?

Oh do me a favor, dear

And inscribe your name on my sleeve

Let me keep it there forever

Because you’re better than any daydream.”