Thank You @umbrynnoctis And Everyone Who Got Me To 50 Reblogs!

Those eels are enough to make any sane person question their place in the universe.

Dune Bug: Look. There's a frog.

Fire Kraken: HI there, frog! Have you seen any gears around here?

Punk Shock: The frog can't talk, Fire.

Fire Kraken: Why not? Is he stupid?

Punk Shock: He's an animal.

Fire Kraken: So what? We're animals too.

Punk Shock: We don't have time for this!

Dune Bug: No, hold on. He has a point.

Fire Kraken: Yeah! What makes us different from the frog?

Punk Shock: They're not.... like us.

Fire Kraken: What do you mean? Are you racist?

Punk Shock: What!? No! I mean they walk on all fours and live in the woods. They aren't... y'know... sapient.

Dune Bug: But what makes something truly sapient? Is the frog's simple demeanor really a proper means to judge its capacity for thought?

Punk Shock: Yes. Stop talking about this.

Dune Bug? Has God forsaken this creature?

Punk Shock: I said stop.

Dune Bug: Or has he forsaken us by cursing us with intelligence?

Punk Shock: Dune Bug! The Flashfin is currently being evilized and I really just wanna get out of this swamp. Can you please have your existential crisis later?

Dune Bug: Does this quandary not weigh on your mind?

Punk Shock: No!

Fire Kraken: Why? Because you're racist?

Punk Shock: I'm not racist! Frogs don't talk, ok!? That's just how it is!

Dune Bug: Or is that just how you perceive it? How can you know what they think?

Punk Shock: I don't care what they think.

Fire Kraken: Because you're-

Punk Shock: NOT because I'm racist! We talk, they don't. There's nothing to think about unless we come across a non-sapient eel or something.

Fire Kraken: Like that?

Punk Shock: .......Maybe God has forsaken us....

I feel like a curator who displays old tat as antiques, given a chance to have a set of canopic jars on display for a short while because it's the only place to keep them while the van gets fixed.

when she says she doesn’t send nudes

#all of this has happened before

#and all of this will happen again

guys. the scene of the capitol citizens yelling ‘CANCEL THE GAMES!’ when they find out about katniss’s alleged pregnancy is parallel to the capitol students yelling ‘get her out!’ about lucy gray. i am sick.

Skylanders artists only have 2 ways of drawing Ghost Roaster

Holy s***, almost forgot Kane Chronicles, Perry Johanson, Magnus Chase et. all. Riordan is a very good author to binge read. He's not perfect for being inclusive but he sure does try. Maybe too much. If you've only read Peter Johnson and Heroes of Olympus, you're missing out. I much prefer Kane Chronicles and Magnus Chase, and Daughter of the Deep is very good.

Erm, trying to think of more fantasy for teens and young adults is hard. That's all I have for stuff you can binge read.

The House of Secrets trilogy and Spiderwick Chronicles are both good, Narnia is alright if you can endure the racism and hot devil analogues in your area.

The Power of Five series is quite good for something on the darker end, but there's an uncomfortable use of colonialist language in the second book and it's not the easiest to get through.

Tolkien's shorter stories; such as those in Tales From the Perilous Realm and his Letters from Father Christmas are very good.

As far as other things you can binge read, A Series of Unfortunate Events and All the Wrong Questions are two separate stories from the same universe penned by Lemony Snicket.

Jeeves and Wooster is great, especially with the short stories. It massively improved my writing around the end of high school, though the humour not be for you.

I'd recommend not binge reading the Sherlock Holmes short stories because they can be quite a pain to get through. The full length ones are much better but regardless, Conan Doyle likes to get sidetracked and after forcing my way through the full volume of stories I can understand where his hate was coming from.

Just don't try Bond unless you're an edgy teen, preferably a boy. The George Smiley books by John le Carré are far better spy stories and they're not as well, they're not as outdated by even the standards of their own time period. From Russia with Love is pretty good but doesn't hold a candle to Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy. Just a general recommendation, I never tried binge reading le Carré. Alex Rider by Anthony Horowitz is a decent Bond alternative for less edgy teenage boys.

The Hunger Games is still as relevant as ever. Read it. Then read the other two books by Suzanne Collins. She's a good writer.

Misc books I recommend include Moriarty by Anthony Horowitz, The History of Bees by Maja Lunde, The Watchmaker of Filigree Street by Natasha Pulley, Ash Mistry is great if you like Riordan and want a similar take with Indian belief (though I've only had the pleasure of reading the first book), Good Omens if you can get a pre-loved copy is mostly Pratchett and if you read enough Discworld you can tell who he wrote (I miss the four other horsemen of the apocalypse, why aren't they in the show).

Give narrative history a shot as a way to learn history, try the other work authors you like have made and sorry for the long ass post.

Have Watson bashing on Sherlock before Holmes even got addicted to opium:

Ya know what? Even before JK Rowling outed herself as a substandard primate, I wasn't a big fan. Harry Potter is the least bingeable fantasy series I've read.

Lord of the Rings? Perfect for binge reading.

Discworld? Streaming services envy the variety.

Harry Potter? Tonal whiplash like there's no tomorrow. Went from kids books to being for edgy teens that don't want to be embarrassed yet.

At least How to Train Your Dragon doesn't try to change demographic that quickly. It actually matures over the series and takes time to transition, instead of just switching to a different style out of nowhere.

Soz for the ramble in tags.

Losing my mind at this pic of pop thorn

Granny Weatherwax in the Streets. Nanny Ogg in the Sheets.

for april fools we’re deleting this entire site sayonara you weeaboo shits

"ohh my god you can't just-"

Am I yours to command? Does the collar 'round my neck have your name on it? I kneel to no king nor god, and I see no crown on you.