The Performance Review Said You Were “pleasant Under Pressure.” You Thought About Telling Them It

Hi, I just wanted to say this blog has helped me a lot with understanding and healing from being harassed at work. I hope you have a lovely weekend <3

Thank you, what a pleasure to hear! Made my weekend, in fact. Have a great weekend yourself.

You get punished twice — once for what happened, and again for how you react.

The Cost of Staying

Sometimes it’s not that you didn’t want the job.

It’s that you wanted it too much. And now you're floating down some corporate river. Toward the wrong end of The Waterfall (TM).

You worked too hard. Put up with too much. Got good at things you never thought you’d be good at. Found your rhythm. Found your people. Maybe even started to believe you belonged there.

And then it changed.

Or maybe it didn’t. Maybe it was always like this and you just finally let yourself admit that the cost was too high.

That staying meant watching someone else get away with it. That staying meant shrinking a little bit each day. That staying meant carrying your own silence like it was professionalism. Like it was maturity. Like it was strength.

But here’s the truth no one wants to put on a poster: Sometimes leaving is the only way to protect yourself.

And that doesn’t mean you failed. It doesn’t mean you weren’t strong enough. It means the place wasn’t safe enough.

And maybe that’s not the ending you deserved, but it’s not the end of your story either (the waterfall).

You don’t need to prove it

was

serious enough.

If it made you feel unsafe, disrespected, or humiliated

that’s serious...that’s enough.

Part of the problem is when you become overwhelmed and burnt out; making any decisions isn’t what helps. People forget that when you get to a place of burn out. The last thing your mind wants to do is make more decisions. It’s burn out, it just wants to rest and not have to constantly choose this or that.

Life gets easier when you stop fighting it. The rain will fall whether you complain or not. Traffic will exist whether you stress or not. People will act how they want whether you worry or not. Focus on what you can change. Let go of what you can't.

dancing in my storm, may 2025

Surrender the Snail

Men defaced this art wall in Melbourne of missing/murdered women.

Women are the ones being killed and brutalized, but it’s a war on men by telling them what they did.

I don’t have too much to say on this. I feel so upset.

"They're not harassing you. That’s just how they talk." Oh okay. I’ll just rewire my nervous system so it understands context.