Life Sucks But Ballet/rugby Johnlock Is Soft

listen…. middle aged ships are my jam. there’s something hopeful about seeing two older people fall in love (or still being in love) on my screen. 

give me two workaholics who realise there’s more to life than their job when they meet each other. 

give me two people who’ve been to hell and back together for years and have always had each others backs.

give me two people who’ve been married for decades and are more in love than ever. 

give me two lonely people thrown together in a life or death situation and let them realise they wouldn’t want anyone else by their side. 

give me two people who’ve been heartbroken more times than they can count who find hope in each other.

GIVE ME OLDER SHIPS

I am Broken

How does it feel… to be in love?

OUR FLAG MEANS DEATH → 1.05 | 1.10

molly hooper and her banger quotes

100% 😅

Got me woooping in my quiet empty apartment

we as a society need to embrace the fact that martin freeman is actually fine as hell

Writing Prompt

"Whatever will I do without you?"

Why did he say 'will' and not 'would'? Does he imagine I'd leave him now? How could I walk away from the most tenacious and formidable friend I've ever had the good fortune of making?

I lost the ability to feel embarrassment in 2019 when TSA whipped out my jelly clear 12 inch dildo from my carry-on bag and tested it for explosives while everyone watched on in horror and confusion

For those that aren't in Australia right now, we have the funniest scandal going on.

Firstly let us introduce you to the eye of the storm: Sam Kerr. Sam is a women's soccer player who has in the last year become one of the most famous and beloved athletes in Australia. Captain of the women's national team, Sam became something of a cult figure after the last Women's Soccer World Cup became a complete unpredicted sensation in Australia, with the whole country getting behind the team.

Sam, up until now, has had probably one of the most squeaky clean images in sport. Generally in Australia it is not uncommon for our sports stars to be caught up in scandals involving drugs:

violence:

drinking their own urine:

or if you're cricket legend Shane Warne, probably all three at once.

Contrasting all this, Sam's image as the squeaky clean saviour for sport made it all the more shocking this last week, when it was announced that Kerr was to face trial after having been charged by the UK police of a "racially aggravated offence" involving a taxi driver.

This was shocking news. Nobody knew what to make of it. Sam was a model for young girls everywhere and a national treasure. "This is why we can't have nice things" screamed the nation. It seemed like all hope was lost.

That is, until, yesterday, when the UK police finally revealed the full details of the case, in which Sam Kerr, sporting legend, was arrested for vomiting in a cab, and then telling an intervening police officer that he was a “stupid white bastard”.

Now we probably don't need to point out that in Australia, vomiting in a taxi and then calling a cop a bastard is about as close to a national culture as we have.

You could not have come up with a better headline to make someone a national hero.

Needless to say, Sam in now being hailed down under as the greatest legend that ever lived, and a petition has already been started to have her picture added to the $5 note.

The tide has swung so far that not one, but TWO, state Premiers have spoken out in support of Kerr, and the Prime Minister has even gone on the record describing her as "a delight".

And so ends the racial abuse saga of our greatest sports hero of all time, and the very first reverse milkshake duck to ever exist.

Impulse control? Who's that? I don't know her?

*buys more shit she doesn't intend on using*