Legit Might Be My Favourite Chapter So Far??

Legit might be my favourite chapter so far??

This whole story is worth every second you spend reading it.

The Game Itself

Chapter VIb: Through the Cracks the Darkness Seeps

A Chishiya x childhood best friend reader (Niragi's sister!) AU Series

Content Warning: Canon-typical violence, mentions of killing, threats of murder, curse words (like a lot this time), your abusive father is here and he is a menace, Niragi and his thoughts are a chaotic mess here

A/N: A short chapter-let akin to chapter IIb to give you a small glimpse at what's going on with Niragi at this point in our story. This chapter is curated chaos, intentionally. I want it to feel like you're in Niragi's head, fighting back and forth with himself as he starts to descend into madness. It's confusing and crazy, but I hope you love it anyway.

Previous Chapter The Game Itself Masterlist

The spray of the ocean tickles his skin, blue waves lapping gently at his feet. The funny scream of the seagulls flapping overhead, waiting for a child to drop a fry so they can feast. The gritty sand making its way between his toes, grounding him into the Earth. The serene feeling of freedom, of wholeness that being there brought him.

He could almost feel every sensation. Things will be okay, as long as you hold onto the good thoughts. That is what he'd always told you - was it still true, even for him? Even now?

Niragi finds himself blinking blearily in the heavily air conditioned lobby of the resort, the chill sinking into his bones as he stood without the shirt he'd aggressively wrapped around you. Trying in vain to return back to himself after what had just happened between you. He needed to calm down, to take back control. He looks around at the now nauseatingly familiar seafoam green walls, adorned by fake plants and coastal art pieces you had proudly carted in here from all over Tokyo. He had known that you would jump at the chance to bring, well, the beach to The Beach if Hatter gave it to you. It reminded you of the story; the one that never failed to help you feel calm and safe in the aftermath. It reminded Niragi, too. Reminded him that he has spent his life protecting you; is still trying to protect you. That every move he makes is one to keep you safe.

Except tonight.

Tonight, he hadn't kept you safe. Tonight, he had hurt you. He had somehow become something that was equally terrifying to both of you.

Niragi had lost control.

He had lost control of the darkness he had spent weeks strategically allowing to pulse through his veins at opportune moments, using it like a secret weapon to push through the fiery gauntlet that was Borderland. You'd unknowingly fractured his carefully crafted militant persona the night that you cried silently in your bed about seeing Himari die in front of you; it had taken all of Niragi's willpower not to scoop you up and hold you in the darkness. Even now, he felt sick with himself for giving you only enough to not break entirely, offering just to hold your hand when you needed so much more. He shouldn't have even allowed himself to see you that night, low contact was a major factor in this game of his, after all; but Aguni's words had shaken him. Your sister was soaked in blood after the game. She's definitely not okay, she needs you. How those words made his heart soar, sickly, you still needed him. Wanted him.

But you shouldn't want him. Because even then, he'd been upset with you, hadn't he? He had gripped your jaw and dug in with his fingers tightly, berating you in frustration because you simply weren't understanding how endangered you all were. He had spent his life being cautious with you, ensuring you never received touch from him that you weren't expecting or didn't want. Carefully earning your trust so that you wouldn't flinch away from him. Over the course of just a couple nights, he'd ripped through that trust and destroyed a very painstakingly laid foundation. Like a fucking hurricane.

This was not how things were supposed to go.

Niragi had to get the fuck out of here. He couldn't stay trapped in this cage, where all four walls reminded him of you because you, in all your sweetness and creativity, had tried to make this prison a cozy home you could curl up in. This hellhole where he was forced to commit violence against strangers first just to ensure his place - your place - at the top of the hierarchy and then because he found he actually enjoyed it? It was worse than even before in that first game, it was too easy for him to kill. To torture. To be cold and calculated and cruel. To be like your father. He couldn't breathe. Panic.

Like being held captive by the ocean, caught in a never ending rip current he was too weak to fight against. He was going to drown.

And so he ran. As far as his legs would carry him from The Beach. From you. Niragi had left marks of his anger imprinted on your skin and on your mind. And especially on your heart. Hell, you should be the one running from him.

Niragi didn't like being too far from you, even in the middle of this game he was forcing the three of you to play. He wanted to be nearby in case something happened. In case some dumb asshole tried to take advantage of your drunk and vulnerable state. He wanted to be there to fix it.

But really the man should have kept his distance; should not have let you get too close to him while he was like this. Cracking under pressure, his inner monologue a constant warzone between two opposite sides. Things would simply be better for everyone if he stayed far away. He was different now, he could feel it. Could sense the glare that your best friend gave him as he looked contemptuously right through him, knowing the truth. Chishiya was too damn smart. And now, he was certain that you knew the truth, too. This was not just a game, anymore. This was who Niragi was.

How could he have let it spill over onto you?

The scene at the pool had been the worst of his offenses thus far; Niragi had been swallowed whole by the endless pit that was his trauma. It was like he'd taken a backseat in his own body as soon as Aguni demanded that Arisu be punished for intervening with Usagi. He didn't think he wanted to hurt the man, did he? The lines were blurring between the trauma and the true him, and he really wasn't sure anymore which thoughts were his and which were just a side effect of allowing this monster to assist in his cruelty. Why had Aguni even asked for Usagi? He'd known that the ex-SDF officer was up to no good. He was glad that he'd told him to stay the fuck away from you.

But why had you stepped in to help the newcomers? Flouncing around in that tiny bikini, showing everything off. It had enraged him, red clouding the edges of his vision. He was so disgusted, but not with you. With himself for bringing you to a place that forced you to walk around half naked, unarmed. Unsafe. And he'd known that those things would be true from the beginning, that this would be a dangerous place for you to be.

He'd still forced you to come to The Beach; you'd been correct in saying that. Because Niragi was selfish. He needed you. Without you, there was nothing left of him. Your brother should have left you alone.

Because if he was really honest with himself? You didn't need him, you hadn't for a long time. You thought you did now because he'd made you feel that way. Because he made Chishiya make you feel that way. But he was not yet ready to address that level of his manipulation. It was all just an excuse, really. Using you as a reason to keep turning to his dark side. To tell himself that he wasn't really a bad person, as long as it was just a game to keep you safe.

And maybe it was. Maybe that is how it all started, with good intentions. Until it wasn't. Until he started losing control of the monster. Until he found himself yelling at you, grabbing onto your face, intimidating you. You, the only person he's ever loved and cared about. You know what they say, the path to hell is paved with good intentions.

Niragi was on that fancy brick laid path to hell. Maybe he himself was hell. He was certain that more than a few people in this place would associate his name with it. He was quickly losing his own game. He'd watched as Hatter quickly drove himself mad with power until he lost himself, then watched as Aguni had to follow along and pickup the pieces.

And now, he was following a similar destiny. He just hoped it wouldn't be you following along and picking up the pieces.

Because now that raw, awful fearful look in your eyes that he'd had to comfort and coax away for so many years had been directed at him. You had been afraid of him, for good reason. He had broken the most important promise that he'd ever made you.

Koko, I'm not Dad. I will never be like him.

He had spoken those words gently into your ear, holding you close and combing his fingers through your hair as he did. It was only a few weeks ago, but it felt like several lifetimes. Those hands that had so gently held you over the years, had rocked you to sleep more times than he could count, had braided your hair every morning for years had now caused chaos and turmoil. He can't imagine being that gentle with anything anymore.

Because Niragi was different now. And somehow, you were too.

Your shared trauma caused a similar darkness to lurk under the surface of your skin, Niragi could see the shadow of it flickering mockingly in your eyes on occasion. It met with the darkness in him, kindred spirits dancing in a toxic tango.

But you, you were careful. You kept your walls up against it, certainly afraid of what it would mean to let it take over. Niragi knew you were scared. Not of the darkness itself, but of what people would think if they saw it come out. Of what he would think. Of what Chishiya would think.

And Niragi was proud. Proud that you didn't rely on it to get you through these death games. You were stronger than your trauma and strong enough to not need it, even here. You were stronger than him. Because Niragi was weak. Weak to fight against his trauma. Too weak to even face himself without hiding behind his little sister.

Niragi holds his throbbing head in his hands, sitting dejectedly with his back pressed up against a brick wall in a darkened alley. Despite gaining some distance from the resort, he still felt trapped by the rip current of these thoughts swirling darkly around him, threatening with every breath to pull him under for good. This is truly chaos.

He had hurt you; an impossibility in his mind, he could never. Would never. But he had. And it could get much worse than that. He'd done much worse than that to others. Enjoyed doing much worse than that to others?

He was sick. He had really really fucked up.

And what was worse? It was too late to turn back now. He couldn't stop playing this game because it was already in motion. The plan was already in motion.

Niragi would get you home if it was the last thing he did.

The man stays out until the sun peeks out from behind the horizon, its rays attempting to penetrate his chilled body with warmth. Niragi knows that no one would be looking for him overnight. He'd created such a persona for himself that even the mention of his name instilled fear in most citizens of The Beach. It would be a treat to most of them if he disappeared forever.

That was what he'd wanted, honestly. For people to fear him, to fear what he might be capable of. He'd thought it would keep you safe to have an insane brother - how could he have known the one that you'd need protection from was him?

Niragi walked slowly in the direction of The Beach, dragging his feet along the still cool pavement. He hadn't sorted out his emotions or his mental state in the slightest. Was there even any hope left for him?

The resort was uncharacteristically quiet and calm this early in the morning, the players still too drunk or already hungover to continue partying for several more hours. The man slunk quietly to his room, hoping like hell not to run into anyone. He needed a shower and a few minutes of sleep before facing anyone, namely your best friend.

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Niragi stands by the large picture window in his room staring down at you sitting hesitantly on a chair by the pool. His heart twists as he notices that you have a long, flowing cover up wrapped tightly around your figure. His cruel words from last night had caused you to falter from your usual confidence. A hooded figure enters the room stealthily, well-practiced by now in doing so. Niragi doesn't turn his head to acknowledge his presence, continuing to study your form at the pool with your friends.

"We need to leave Kuina out of the plan," the blonde speaks coolly, tone condescending. It was clear that Chishiya was less than impressed with the older man at this point, no doubt having spent the entire night picking up the pieces of your shattered heart. Niragi whips his head to look at the shorter man, examining him through narrowed eyes.

"What?" is the only word that Niragi can grate out, exhaustion still radiating through his body, having slept only for an hour or two albeit fitfully.

Chishiya blinks slowly up at your brother, irritated that this is such a hard thing for him to grasp. He speaks again, "You've taken enough from her. I'm not going to just stand by and let you take this too."

After a moment or two, Niragi finally sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose between two fingers, "I'm not trying to take anything from her, but this -"

"This is how it has to be, I know. So you've decided for all of us," Chishiya snaps, cutting the older man off. Niragi raises an eyebrow, surprised by the outburst from someone who is usually so emotionless and level-headed.

"Are you doubting me, Chishiya?"

"I'm starting to, yes."

"You little . . ." Niragi starts, getting agitated with the conversation. But your best friend is tired of it too, cutting your brother off again, "It's starting to not feel like a game anymore. You're out of control. I hope you realize she has lost her trust in you completely after yesterday."

Chishiya walks over to the window, joining your brother in watching you. His breath catches in his throat seeing you there with Kuina and Usagi - a girl's day. Something you deserved to have, but wouldn't if the plan continued on its current trajectory.

Niragi sighs, not fighting back on that point. He knew he'd hurt you, knew that he was no longer just playing a game. He'd spent all night fighting himself over it.

"We brought Kuina here with a specific purpose, Chishiya. We can't just leave her out of it because my sister grew attached. You shouldn't have let that happen."

The blonde scoffs, rolling his eyes, "It wasn't my intention for them to meet at all, they found each other and got close. There was no stopping it, and I wouldn't have done that to her anyway."

Though he hadn't explicitly stated it, Niragi knew the true meaning of Chishiya's words - I'm not like you. It wouldn't matter, though, that your best friend wasn't like him. Once you found out what was really going on, you'd be very unhappy with both of them. It was risky, Niragi forcing Chishiya into his plan. It could damage your relationship before you ever left the friendzone. It was a risk he had to be willing to take - so you could be safe. So he could try to fix what he had broken in the first place.

The two men stand in silence for a long time, several minutes creeping by slowly in the strained environment. Chishiya watches as you walk away from your friends and towards the bar, the corners of his lips lifting upwards as he remembers the last time you drank.

"You're still right about one thing, even if you're the worst brother alive. We need to get her away from The Beach before everything crumbles."

Niragi side-eyes the shorter man, saying nothing but willing him to continue talking.

"We leave Kuina out of the plan. Arisu can take her place." Chishiya seems confident in his ability to manipulate Arisu, that the latter can even be trusted. That's good enough for Niragi - though you and Chishiya don't trust him anymore, he still trusts both of you with his life.

The taller man nods slowly, no longer really caring to talk about the plan as he becomes drawn in by a figure slowly creeping along the pool deck. Approaching you. Niragi's eyes widen, then narrow, then widen again in panicked realization - he knew that man. Very well.

"Motherfucker. . ." Niragi growls, rage and fear mixing and simmering within his chest, "this cannot be fucking happening. Absolutely not."

Chishiya snaps his head to study the older man, certain he has finally lost it entirely. But then your best friend follows his line of sight, eyes locked on the same thing. Niragi is shaking, terror and violent fury seeping out of his pores as he draws his rifle, ready to shoot out the window.

Chishiya jumps to push the gun away, "Idiot!" he snaps, "You could hit her!" The blonde turns on his heel and sprints down the hallways of the hotel, trying to get to you as quickly as possible. Niragi, still stunned and speechless is stuck about five seconds behind.

The man's mind races - how had your father gotten to The Beach? Why was he here? Who the fuck gave him a weapon?

Chishiya and Niragi burst out onto the pool deck just as glass shatters at your feet. You knew who was standing behind you without turning around to look, and no doubt you were terrified.

As always when Niragi enters a scene, the place got quiet. People who had previously been dancing or splashing around in the pool now smartly avoiding his gaze or stupidly gaping at him, depending on the level of drunkenness they were working with.

Niragi didn't give a fuck about them right now. He cared about you. Currently facing away from him, stood stalk still in your place standing in front of your friends, definitely shaking. Just like him. He knew what look was on your face, because he'd seen it himself just last night. He'd caused that look too, and he would never forgive himself.

But now, things were fucked beyond oblivion. The reason for his and your lifelong turmoil and trauma was standing here on the pool deck, armed right behind you. Niragi had always assumed your father's threats to kill you were empty words. Something that psychotic people say just to instill more fear in their victims, to entertain themselves.

Niragi's stomach sinks as he realizes how much he'd underestimated this man. With a weapon perched and ready to shoot, he knew that he would do it. Would definitely do it here, in Borderland where there would be minimal consequences. Was getting ready to do it right this second. In the middle of the day, at a fucking pool party.

Except your father had miscalculated one thing - that where you are, your brother would be sure to follow. And that brother of yours, was no longer sweet and kind and loving. That brother of yours would pull the trigger of his own rifle on your father without hesitation, if only you weren't standing in the same line of fire.

The atmosphere surrounding The Beach has grown tense, everyone seemingly noticing what was going on. More family drama! Just wait until they realize that the man aiming his gun at you is your father, and that the man's son is aiming his own gun at him. How's that for soap opera?

When Niragi is finally close enough to the man to have the muzzle of his rifle pressed against the nape of his neck, he finally snarls, "Get the fuck away from her. Now."

The man only laughs, not moving an inch or lowering his weapon. You don't move either, still standing and staring straight forward. Terrified and further traumatized. "Niragi! If this isn't just one big, wonderful family reunion!"

Niragi can hear his pulse in his ears, barely breathing. Family, his ass. "Get your fucking gun away from my sister's head," he manages, somehow keeping a level tone though he's stressed beyond any stress he's ever known before.

"You wouldn't shoot your father," the man mocks. Niragi had almost forgotten how good the man was at getting under his skin.

Niragi clicks his tongue in annoyance, "You don't fucking know me anymore, or what I'm capable of. And you aren't my father. You certainly aren't hers." The thought of him even considering taking credit for being a decent parent to you makes your brother's insides burn hot with rage.

Your father cackles at this, finally turning around to look at his son, Niragi's rifle now pointed directly between his eyes. "Oh, so let me get this straight. YOU think you're her father now, right?" Niragi narrows his eyes at the man, breathing deeply to maintain control. He cannot afford to fuck up in front of you again.

With your father distracted now, you flee to Chishiya, who gratefully grabs onto you and pulls you close to him. Short lived relief. Niragi's eyes flick briefly to take in your appearance, are you okay? You do look scared, standing there looking tiny with tears in your eyes. He recognizes this version of you, just like when you were a child. He looks back to your father as the man speaks again.

"How sweet! Chishiya, it's good to see you here too! Tell me, son of mine, if you've done such a good job as a father figure, why did she run to Chishiya and not you, hm?" His falsely cheerful voice made Niragi want to throw up. An outsider would no doubt be fooled by how sweet and excited he sounded when talking to his children, but everyone knows that not all things venomous look or sound like a hazard. That was very much the case here.

Realistically, you ran to Chishiya because he was in your line of sight, and you would have to cross your father's path to get to Niragi. But still, your father knew what he was doing - that comment still stung. Niragi doesn't take his gaze off the man, doesn't falter for a second. He couldn't believe that he was facing the source of all the pain and trauma in your lives again. The person he was now no different than.

Niragi could easily pull the trigger, right here and right now. But then you'd be forced to watch your father die right at your feet, at the hands of your brother who you already didn't trust anymore. Could your relationship ever recover from that? At the very least, he couldn't subject you to that trauma.

And so, without taking his eyes off your father's cold glare, twin sets of blackened eyes staring like mirrors at one another, Niragi speaks to you, "Sweetheart, go inside."

You were quick on the uptake and you knew exactly what your brother was asking. From his periphery he could see you shaking your head rapidly, lower lip trembling, "No," you mumble weakly. Niragi blinks slowly, willing his frustration to not drown him again. No, don't do what you're thinking of doing.

"Chishiya," the man warns in a cold voice, eyes still frozen in a standoff against your father, demanding the blonde to get you out of here. No additional instructions required.

"I'm sorry, baby," Chishiya whispers to you, grabbing onto your wrists and pulling you with him inside as you try to squirm and kick away from him. Your brother felt a little bit bad exploiting your relationship with your best friend, but to hell with it at this point. Whatever kept you safe.

"Niragi! Don't. Please don't do it, it will ruin you! He's not worth it!" You shriek at the top of your lungs, now almost across the pool deck as your entourage follows you and Chishiya back into the hotel. "You're still a good person, Niragi. Don't let him take that from you, please!" You sobbed, pleading with your brother. If the citizens of The Beach weren't looking, they definitely were now. It doesn't get much more entertaining than this in Borderland.

Niragi hesitates at this, lowering his rifle slightly in consideration of your words. You didn't care about your father's life - how could you? With the things that he had done, he deserved to die. No, it was Niragi that you worried about, that you didn't want to see destroyed by killing him. The man very nearly heeded your words, wanting desperately to follow you and your friends into the hotel too.

But Niragi was already ruined. And it was worth it for him to lose you completely if it at least meant your abuser would never be able to touch you again.

And so he raises his rifle again. Your father laughs, an ironic, dead sound rattling in his chest. "Like father, like son, then huh? You're just as bad of a person as I am," he barks out almost gleefully. Was he? He was.

And Niragi was okay with it.

Because he could save you. He could end the life of your abuser, then keep himself away from you too. You'd finally be safe, from both of them. Chishiya would keep you safe. You would keep you safe. You'd proven your strength and resilience time and time again, you would be okay.

Pointer finger on the trigger, he's made his decision. This is worth throwing himself into the depths of the darkness for, this is worth losing you for. It will ensure your safety, finally. Your father just grins sinisterly, accepting his fate. Likely he knows that even his death will cause suffering between the two of you, so that's enough for him. One last fuck you before he goes out.

"Niragi! I see you've met Katashi!" Hatter's obnoxious voice slices through the tension at the pool like a knife. The man strides confidently up to the two, placing a hand on one shoulder of each. "Katashi here saved my life in a game, much like you did weeks ago!" Hatter laughs, looking curiously at Niragi's rifle, which he had lowered a tiny bit. "You're not trying to kill each other, are you? Katashi is quite important to me, you know. He's going to make a fine militant for The Beach!"

Niragi feels his chest tighten and stomach sink, "Fucking hell," he mumbles under his breath, looking away and attempting to step away from Hatter's iron grip. How could they have possibly felt your father was fit to be parading around the resort with a weapon?

Your father smiles toothily, now directed at Hatter. "We were just getting acquainted," he assures, "Right, Niragi?" The man felt his eye twitch, FUCK this. More impossible people, more impossible games.

Things were truly going to hell in a hand basket, variables starting to stack up against him. It was too soon to initiate the plan and get you out of here, but the man felt his hands being tied.

You would both be living with your abuser at The Beach for at least another week, and the man was armed. He was already prepared to kill you at the fucking pool, for fuck's sake. Niragi would be forced to change his tactics, to up the ante of the game he was playing. Though he was certain you wanted nothing to do with him right now, it didn't matter - you wouldn't be out of his sight again. What else could he do?

Niragi huffs, quickly pushing out all of the anger and terror that had built up over the last couple of minutes. He cradles his rifle back against his shoulder, attempting to look as nonchalant as possible. Prepared to walk away, your brother pauses only for a moment to say one last thing to Hatter.

"You have absolutely no idea what you have done, do you?"

This would all but ensure the collapse of The Beach. There were a lot of dominoes that were about to topple over in this chaos. After all, it was either you and Niragi, or your father. You wouldn't all make it out alive.

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