Dont Kill Yourself! Shin Soukoku

fic where atsushi refuses to acknowledge that akutagawa's in the mafia

like akutagawa introduced himself and everything and it drives him insane but atsushi's just like 'yeah this is akutagawa. oh no he's harmless trust. he's just a civilian. think he owns a flowershop'

Little akutagawa-chan😔

i feel like i need time to process everything but you can NOT tell how happy i am that this is a canon scene that this scene specifically was the trigger for Akutagawa remembering himself no one talk to me DO NOT TALK TO ME

I need someone to rewrite all of Bsd in a fanfiction but where sskk is actually canon

Where all the VERY FREAKING ROMANTIC undertones are actually confirmed to be romantic and Atsushi and Akutagawa do love each other and like gdfhjgrvhkc idk that would be amazing, and probably similar to BEAST

Something about how Atsushi can trek through the past and the future when all he wants is to go back home to the Agency.

And it’s the one place he can’t go.

THE SSKK ONE HAS A BIGGER MEANING NOW

I’m screaming

I found this in my camera roll I don't even remember making it lmfao 😭

For those of you who may not be too familiar with the manga, during ch39: Portrait of a Father, Akutagawa shows up, as Dazai's informant, to give Atsushi documents about who the orphanage headmaster was and what happened to him.

At that moment, Akutagawa shows an uncharacteristic clemency towards Atsushi, saying that "Atsushi's master died today", and compares this to his own relationship with Dazai.

This was a long time ago now, and a lot has happened since. The Cannibalism arc is right after this, where they are very antagonistic towards each other, and includes this scene:

Akutagawa, despite his bitterness towards Atsushi for who he is to Dazai, has seen how similar they are in this sense. Atsushi hasn't, because his gratefulness towards Dazai prevents him from seeing that Akutagawa's experience was completely different with this same person. (he's also not given any time by the narrative to wonder about it)

but then just came along chapter 122!!!

Atsushi gets to see, 1:1, the relationship between Akutagawa and Dazai. For the first time, Akutagawa is relatable to him.

And of course, at the end, Atsushi calls out the illusion as being the headmaster wearing Dazai's face because we are closing this loop! We are forcing Atsushi to see Akutagawa the same way Akutagawa has been seeing him!

This tweet reminded me of this one panel from the manga